I am shaking
Fearful, as the shouts grow louder
Every breath leaves me aching
The hourglass has begun to fall slower and slower by the hour

Reality has crumbled into mere dust sliding through my fingers
Wordless, soundless, screaming
Avoiding the empty, shattered mirrors
Left to pace between thoughts, as my hands do the cleaning

I cut my arms on glass, but I'm not seeing the bleeding
Dripping down my arms from my veins are jokes gone wrong
Sitting, in the glass poured over me, I'm leaping
It won't be too long

I've done a bad thing and I can't be forgiven
I am smiling at the spots in my vision that look like stars
I'm dancing, swaying, to an unknown etheral rthym
The whispers are seeping through my gray walls

Words have become a mush of meaningless *******
I hear the floors loosen and soon I am falling through
Ego tandem videre stellas
Ad astra per aspera

My father's stony face
Gripped with expressionless, death
He just stares at me
And I tear back

The dirt feels too hard
The world, too cold
I'm saying sorry
But everything just feels wrong

I'm grieving for him
But it's not him who's dead
It's me

Obsessively thinking, about thinking
I'm thinking the thoughts in my head, were placed there.
Something is wrong with the part of my brain that does the linking.
The seams that were made when my last therapist took out my brain, are starting to tear.

I'm lost in the flow of my words. Planted words.
Am I losing my mind? I can't lose it a second time.
The verbs I produced, destroy me, with slicing, and dicing.
And the rhyming, has turned into pantomime.

What were the words I spoke minutes ago?
Have they even taken my memory?
A part of me doesn't want to know.
But this is different, this is treachery.

Stolen thoughts, stolen memories, stolen words.
Am I the "crazy" that everyone imagines?
My mind keeps getting split, halves, now thirds.
I think the diagnois matches.

I guess I was meant to be crazy.

What's next?
A **** test?
Why do we do this?
God, the things I miss

I used to see beautiful colours every time we met
Now all I see is an edge
Why did it have to end like this?
I yearn for one more kiss

What happened to us?
Your words still leave me with cuts
I'm sorry
The sky reminds me of you, so starry

Everything reminds me of you
That's true
I wish I could just let go
Say adios

But no
You keep coming to my head to steal the show
I cry tears of grief
Every night so the pain will ease

Try to make it up to you
But you say we are through
I'm trying to mend things
Let us try to spread our wings

You will of course refuse
I always lose
You are the king
and I, nothing

I'm losing my mind
A part of me has died
I stand on an edge
Ready to be led

I climb over the rail
God, why did I fail
I close my eyes
I'm sorry for all the lies

I say goodbye
I'm sorry I was so sly
I take a step
Why are you still in my head

I'm plunging towards the water
The sounds of your voice grow stronger
I rushing to my death
This was the test

Thank god
I am dead

I sit upon a pedestal
My obsession with attention is rooted deep
So deep, that it doesn't appear to you

My pedestal draped in black cloth
Never stands out
You only notice it when you are too far in

My narcissism lines my insides
And so does my habit of manipulation
It runs it’s mouth 70% of the time

And I wish it didn’t
It’s hurting my look
Of being “too kind for my own good”

I’m deceptive, like I said
It’s in my nature
So don’t be surprised if you get your heart broken

Open those cracked lips
And let out croaks and painful yelps

Drag that bruised and bloodied hand
Against the stained floorboards

Flinch into the boot in the ribs
And let those purple tears swell

Give a broken smile
As you speak misery to me

It only takes an instant to break
But a lifetime to completely heal
Pain will fade but never vanish fully
There will always be a trace of emotions we feel

Emotion is
    the fibre
      loves
               weaved within.