9 to Five

No sleep, real talk, my years behind me daily on the hunt they stalk me into today throughout each passing tommorrow its left me bound by sorrow so be honest with yourself as you read these words as if they were bound by fate in a book of broken memories soul restrained sanity entertained by necessity for survival but my nights release facts, my hand guided by pen dispensing sound through words of lost years lived in fear as I write blind-sidingly haunted by my own sentiments living bound safe in lies to avoid my demise I see this in our eyes gotta get wise and reverse the clock its ticking counter-clockwise but still pressing foward dressing my soul for a journey toward Who, What, When, and Where so thanks for the thoughts but I've been Here and I been There the fabric of my life has suffered its share of tears as surely as any other smiling by day crying by night I wanna give up n' just whiteflag this fight but this fight is life so despite being sick fearful of strife..

I turn my eyes to the light. Blind me, bind me, find me, remind me..

That I too once could love..
But it fell apart..
Heart unbound I wanna scream but can make no sound..

Gotta face the light..

I gotta stop this fight..

I will live and do my best to give but on the last day whenever it may be..

I wonder..

Would I relive this life again as myself..?

...Or perish the thought?

Alarm clock, ticktock, guess living this way is considered "alive"..

Off I go..

To work my 9 to Five..

The most luminous example of a fallen angel
An ignored history.. A need for attention..
We define The Humanity Problem globally..

Let me enter the mind of a killer
Let me learn from within the mind of a saint
I will calculate the sociology 
The norms killing our psychology 
With pad and pen as my everlasting friend..

I want to burn in hells 
I seek to bask in heavens

Show me the soul in my eyes
Weathering through a common storm..

People will find the real normal..
If they love themselves and help others..

It should be an oddity to erase normality 
And so it exists only as a common standard..
That is how I grew up..

What if we ended expectations?
What if we embraced change?
Compassion could be a global comeback..

There is a nature in duality..
Humans engraved into double-edged swords..

If we could create love and war..
We may be able to end our battles..
We could live with evidence and compassion..

Ending our need to be beautiful, better or rich

As an American.. I am built of guilt
I suffer..

I displayed kindness, love and compassion 
I valued evidence over assumption
Pointed out an economy of overconsumption

Only to be labeled as..

'Sheep'
'Idealistic'

So.. to my fellow kinsmen and women..

Open up a dictionary..

If I am a sheep..
We as a whole are not shephards..

Who do you look for to guide you?
Isn't America obviously lost?

We are defined as sheep by a globe called Earth

Currently? Like it or not.. They're right..

I am not powerful
I am weak

Despite the ego of America.. I am no sherpah..
I am no sheep..
I will never be a shephard..
I will only ever be me..
Think of you when at your happiest..
Revel in the lessons of how that was stolen..

It will be Hell..
I'll be blunt with that fact..

Want peace? Face it.
Face you. 
Deflate all of your ego.

We need to bring back who we were long ago..

We need to care and foster Hope..

Eradicate foolish hate..
Value intelligence and knowledge..

Divided we are destined to **** and die..

But.. United?
We could be a beacon of hope..

A beacon brighter than God, who we're under

An American Beauty..
That has shed her mistakes..

To let go..

Of her American Ego..

Live the light of your lie
I cannot accompany you
The truth would slowly die

I will live working towards light

I'd rather live through lessons

Even when they make me die a little..
Inside..

Than perish in the shadow I'd never see
In the light that would be blinding me
Haunting me as I yearn to be free

A part of me was that life often seen
Accompanying it could never be me
Is that really free?

It left its mark

Thusly I am apart

Working towards my light
The past to be nevermore

It rains sometimes
But the dark has its own light

It does dream
Of making it real

It does work

It can heal..

The face in the mirror..
Are you real?

I was a lost vessel in a decaying sea of glassened hearts.. only to see behind it to fields of flowers skyrain-silvered by dreams.. I am at peace within me.. Drifting at sea..

A mystery of a time when wonder was equivalent to joy, synonymous with the unspoken..

Mysteries abound all around I hear the sound of life unbound.. Liberated by freedom of thought, voice of mind.. I am unbroken.. Free and kind to see the past left behind..

My smiles have spoken.. The air smells of potential.. My hope existential.. To remind.. To cement the observable.. To loosen my view to ponder the unseen I see life gleam.. In dark nights a spark to bring together those apart.

Completed by these wonders.. This sound.. Weathered by time as water softens stone this life begins to end as it begins again over and over there, here, and then, oh so often..

A conveyed beauty, a portrayed scene of hope, wrought with shadows with love to fight the night to strive for light..

This vessel is within peace now..
Sunken at sea.. Among hearts of familiarity..

I am me..

This tragic.. Oh so beautiful..

Contradiction..

Cracked open the earth
Dust to the sky
The land felt alone

Mother nature penned a pleading
Knowing what we've been needing
Her advice never heeded
Her love so misunderstood

She wants to love and she would but..

'How could you have done this to me?'



Her words printed in matter across canvas
Love was all she was..

But no matter mattered
So now she has lit the canvas ablaze
Her heart a maze now
She feels betrayed
Canvas ablaze...
I'm amazed the earth is not razed

We took all she was
Left her to rot alone inside

She turns her gaze to life on her surface
She is dying now below and above
Inside and out
Irreparably harmed by those she loved

For the last time she tried to care
A split second only..
The result of existing lonely..

That was when the earth cracked
She has now unleashed her pain

As fire rose from a betrayed heart
Ash blanketed a broken beauty..

Covered in the darkness of her mind
She is going to leave us behind
Fury of millennia
A world of blood and septicemia

Those on her surface prayed to God
They were heard and ignored
He agreed with her
Because we did this to him too..

The pit named Hell exists on earth now
It was us that did this to her..

Have we no shame?
Or is it ignorance?

Either way..

We got what we deserved

Because even humans among humans..
Can be as heartless as a demon..

And as a whole..
We are killing our home



Just like wild animals gone extinct
Our hearts sink as fading begins
In a battle of violence or hate
No one wins

We just drown in our sins..

We can turn it around..
But..

8.4 billion people..

Technology advances
Never maturity

Some call me crazy..

Time will tell

Am I the rain?
Am I the pain?
Am I one alone? Or one relatable?

Are we different? 
Are we the rainfall upon pain?

No..
I am the wandering heart..
The one apart.  Defeatable..
Paradoxical

The man who swore an oath to Hope..

So raise your glass..
Celebrate..
Let the fake smiles amass.

Open the floodgates of broken hearts where fleeting hope departs..

Hold me down.. drown me
Know me
See me

Let me wander..
For I am the rain..

I fall relentlessly..

Can you feel my heart?

Don't give up
I won't say good luck..
I know you feel fed up

There is light
Just never without a fight to get there
But people care..

Many are simply just scared to say so..
But you must know so..

You are supported.. Don't give up
You've been heard.. Don't give up

Not one tear shed means nothing..
I want to give you something..

I want to tell you its ok..
Even as time fades away..
Life doesn't have to be this way..

So as tears fall..
Please know..

There is light..
I want to help you fight..

I won't say good luck..
You are not alone..
Don't suffer on your own..
There is light.

Don't give up..

Savor sorrow despite nights feeling forever as lessons need be learned. Favor feeling what is real.

Fallen apart we fickle hearts are within ourselves pride is the genesis of the mindset we set willingly as a sworn nemesis.. Fear not the maimed resolute mind of one who has built lives of love via selflessness til no resources remained..

Only know we have felt ourselves fall. Fought to lose it all..

Built stability to witness what we have made real fly through hells until pain of impact forces us off course.

Good intentions are the vessel of our pain soaring flawlessly but rushing to find happiness far too fast.. This wayward vessel of ours always crashes..

And burns to ashes..

Mirror mirror on the wall
A pretty image..
Still took a fall
Pictures on the walls
Images of them all
The family that was
The family that wasn't..

A pretty image..

Words unspoken
Perfect smiles unbroken on the broken

A pretty image..

The work of kindness
The constitution of dedicated hearts

But the world..
It broke them apart..
Images.. Memories of rain and love..
Pain when I look above..
Longing to be whole..

I live apart..
Apart.. A part.. Of what was a heart..

From a house that was a home..
Where a man dies alone..
In a home now only a house..
He is on his own..

Love fierce as a tiger's rage..
Another life.. Another page.
Rage has died..

Just a house where happy lived now..
With love faded.. Pain unabated..

Cries for help more feeble than the cries of a mouse..

This home.. This house..

This man..

A pretty image..

Mirror mirror on the wall.
Take your beauty..
Keep it..

I see through the lies now..

I will never look at you again..
Because I never hear a word..

I only see what you see..

And that..

Has left me blind..

A mirror shattered that night..
But the pictures frames turned down..

Display the love that was.. once again..
They are memories..
Can I be happy again?

I am not just a man with these dying dreams.. I want to turn to a bottle.. But I would drown in its sea..

Maybe even I can earn my right to heaven..
Maybe even I can be ok..

Maybe I can find me..

And stay him..

A pretty image thrown away.
A man who died dedicated to try again.
A bottle thrown away.

A past to temper the present.
A future to build.

I feel like I am erasing a person..
Or maybe..

I never drew him to life in the first place..

Can't sleep. Love and hate this silence. Give me a storm to drown in raindrops with. Falling asleep to lightning to drown out the dark..




But still.. with respect to it..


Leaving me with crashing thunder to dream with.. Feel with..

I'll embrace even a storm for comfort in preference to this silent pitch-cold hope-dark nothingness.

Time for a break from solitude. A venture into the face of cyclic duality once more. Dark to passion to light til dark.. Again and again there, here, and when.. A world of hope, holy and harrow. As if.. Existence itself breathes.. Til matter leaves.. Left in the Void of Ends.. Found then lost.. Lost then found by the end of the beginning.. The beginning of the end.. Void of End to Well of Existence.. Life itself in all shapes and forms again and again.. Eons of Eternity.. Eternities of Eons.. I reach to touch my creator.. But I cannot find them.. Deemed dominant this broken-heart human exists within himself with a heart of love confined inside his mind one who contemplates yet stands apart eyes warm and cold young but old.. Back to shelter.. Safe again to leave it behind.. In my solitary shell.. My void of solitude.. My home of mind..

Hello good morning
Ugh tired

This morning follows mourning
But mourning came first..

So tired.. Feeling mired

Its like Mr. Sandman came to visit
To play
Whispering revisit it
Ponder it
Be broken by it
No respite

No.. Its impossible
It's not just me is it?

..Forget it

Hell, Oh right..
Time to drink coffee..

Then step into day's light..

We are solutions and sources..
Much like a strange sunlight..
We're odd with so many symptoms..
We may be falling apart..
We may feel powerless.. We are not..
We are who we are..
If we breathe, compassion is still immortal..

Only way to see truth is to not be part of it
All a lie needs to be real is acceptance
Our world is falling apart. Your money?
Its a lie that is killing us
We drown in economy, in overconsumption

You never take a big enough step back
You let history be an eternal truth
You never question validity..

Open up a history book
Our main problem is..

You actually do question validity..
But only do so in unified global dysfunction..

Without ever even noticing it..

Wars still exist
Conflict still persists

People seek to protect their family
Never knowing they contribute to crime
As a result.. I even lost mine..

Humanity is simple but..
Money creates our complications..

Humanity is killing itself
Just look out your window..
Or turn on a TV..

We're trying to survive the chaos we built..

Chaos is Hell yeah but.. It is not to blame..

Why do you focus only on its symptoms?
Trace the sources of negativity backwards..

Why do you bask in such a Strange Sunlight..?
Some rays real with some rays fake..

Your demeanor became a mask

I'm sorry but its just simply true

Next time you shed a tear..
Its directly due to an entire humanity in fear

The world is truly falling apart..

You never investigated the right question
This isn't an outcome of pure possibility
Because we slowly built it into a certainty

We never even knew..
There is no seeing now.. not anymore..
We may still be able to change it but..

Far too many only need to perceive a crime
To swiftly judge it..

Remember.. Symptoms and Source
Solve one.. the other will dissappear..

Now humanity is almost out of time..

I want to survive and I want to be happy..

But.. this chaos is a symptom..
Its source seems to remain unnoticed..
Or ignored due to being truly unpleasant..

Don't hate the messenger..

You should have expected this..

I should have too..

Let me write
This is how I live

This is how I fight
This is how I stay alive

This is how I survive the nights

The world is terrifying..

I've no other way to be alright..

Take me home..

Silence in the sound
Rushing.. breakdown inbound
Don't seek my heart
Its guarded from love walls up strong

Because this heart was torn asunder It was so slowly ripped apart

Don't try, kiss a chance soon to be broken apart goodbye til your attempt's hope departs

Walls of love made of love to keep love away it hurts I'm now this way.

I'm not unique love's future is bleak..

People got a mean streak..
Such is fate.. Is it too late?

Sly to defy words are lies we lash from inside..

Real or fake does it matter?

I may lie to defy myself as you lie to defy yourself to not cry.. But look into the mirror..

Look into eyes, dark spotted lashes invisible sable cells of sorrow..

Do you regret you?
Or is it a memory you see?..

Such cold silence in life, its sound..

Take me home..

Yin and yang
Light and dark
Mind apart, unique in a lonely way
At least on most days..

I wore my heart on my sleeve..
This world and its selfish needs..

But now the moat is deep
The castle walls stand tall
The land around inclined steeply
The world left a mark deeply
Wounded intelligently, changed eternally

You may knock at the door of the fortress
But my heart cannot leave its throne

Its an irony this life..
Love can leave you on your own
Or heal the damage of being alone..

Love is feared and yearned for..
Get a little you want more

But lose it and then..

The castle beckons..
You take your place upon the throne
Battlements at the ready..

The castle is quite beautiful
Many try to visit
Cold shoulder of a closed door
Common sense a prerequisite

They built the castle
They live wondering why

Why none can open the door..
To venture into it
To have more..

Life goes on..

But the kingdom they made
This castle frozen in time..

It beckons as it fortifies

You can even see it in his eyes..

Apologetic, I prematurely meant it
Magnetic to pain, ironic ain't it?
Turned the car, I crashed

Yet it still functions..

Backup, U-turn, find a new lane
Gun this engine, speed to a junction

No left no right, straight through to any light, how do I function?

Still apologetic, this angel, this demon, this friend and foe, from heaven to hell I wreak havoc so hectic on me and I with my image, these lies, I exist as a living demise

Give me a soul paramedic from an era nostalgic, its denial, selflessly neglectic, this heart prosthetic, shoulda known it, fake smiles curtain call themselves to fall they are a facade of lies sourced from embarrassment, simple self-harrasment in a time gray-hued, undertoned in black I feel my heart, beating strong, fast, under attack..

Drive, just drive, drive and never stop
Foward forever..

Just drive..

I pass days by as days pass by as if time-frozen my body moves foward but the soul is downward bound. My heart still unfound.

This agony. This pain. This loneliness to hurt me slow..

Keep my head up? Yeah.. I know.. Its what I do best no need to put it to a test

They all say that but do they believe in that? Assaulted by the endurance of a long held lonely nothingness I realize this is my life.

Always shall fall my soul-hued paindrops in rhyme yet still in time my heartrain falls harder so much less visible..

I'm invisible..

I'm so invisible..

A leech of the smile. I preach self-denial. I want to escape from myself as I lose myself from within myself..

A far reach for hope feel like I'm hung by a rope
I knew I'd end up broken inside have been awhile

I prayed for happy but nope..
I prayed for family but have no hope

I live obligated to stay
While I hope for brighter days..

Its one day to many days again and again.. But when will this end after so many years? Its been nothing but tears..

I want to feel again..

Find my soul.
Make me real.

Make me numb..

Let me feel..
Is this real?

I can't heal or kneel
Just too tired to pray
Doesn't matter anyway

I'm those eyes in the mirror
A sadness denied

I'm messy hair in early morning
Before its combed into a lie

I'm invisible tears when the real ones run out..

Smiles forced into beautiful lies..

Cut open my darkened sky
Spill me miracles from above

Give and shield me from love..

Hysterical quietly.. I want to raze my past of sorrow

Spill forth a brighter morrow from this bleeding shatter-glass sky..

Make me into a bird..

My smiles and laughs..
Happiness implied..
But its just a lie..
Set me free..

Let me fly..

I am my prison. Bars of failure upon bars of guilt. A cell of pain for a mind maimed.

Exposure to results of what I've built leaves me in paralysis frozen by my fears as I shed these tears. As if chosen by heart-hurt or forced against freewill to feel I am an inmate of fate..

My nights are long the nights are fights no light or insight alone in a blindside love killed at curbside I suffer inside where will I find home to buffer my hope I hate being alone don't let me be alone don't make me exist on my own a lonesome soul left unknown I gotta leave I need reprieve but where can I reside welcomed as I die inside?..

Stop the world let me off I didn't see this fate this pain this love this hate this gain these lies this me left alone insane its my life my bloodrain of heart down a drain above reality my soul lays slain..

My God..

Someone save me I rest to be my best as I fade into the past at last this is a hell turned worse a life cold-cursed to force me to try as my smiles grow old. But no Mom no Dad no pretty lullaby never was its a lie if I said I didn't wanna die.

I want my family back..
But it's impossible..

Help me..

I want to live as I fear to die..

I..

I have become a living lie...

Shatter sadness
Embrace madness
Better than all this
When life runs amiss

Better than silence
Any sound to soothe this

Crack open a dark sky
Bring me to heaven

Save me from routine
Thunderclap my pain away

Lightning strike me and fade away
My heart now in play

******* away..

You lift me..

Don't let me fall..

When one falls
When one loses it all

Would you catch them..?
Yes..?

To help them soar?

Or to lift them high..
And throw them back down?

Life is so fast
I swear to God time blows away in the wind..
Its just so quick..

Sometimes it is the light
Even on the stillest nights..

Its there..
Then its gone..

If I only..
Could move so quickly..

That might be my home..
Rushing away..

Morning comes..
Never even knocks on the door..

Please..
Tell me there is more..

When I care..
It is a risk I bear..
Heart bare is the only way I get there..

What goes up..
It just far to often falls back down..

I feel like I live in the sky..
I feel free..

Forever me..

If only..
I could be Like the Wind..

Then I would truly be free..

Poetry is the mediator
A tool of fate, A tool of description
A teller of fates, A saver of souls

It cannot grow old, nor shall it fade
It has a birth it can't remember
Its hard to see the lives its made
Because its seen alot
Been alot
Hurt alot..
Saved even more..

Its the way a poet or poetess survives the hurts of life

Those things called lies..

If I fall.. You will know
If you fall, know you are not alone

So stand tall..
Write truthfully

And we will never fade..

I am one of many who feels alone..

One who revels within words when on my own..

A poet or poetess can be broken
Burned, hurt and slayed
But still live in words, the heaven we made

Tick tock 9, 10, 11 its an hour til twelve..
Into myself I delve..
Open the notebook..
Close the doors.. Tick Tock Lock

30 minutes pass..

Half a lifetime til a new day..
How have nights become this way?

I remain awake to spill my heart
In hopes I will find peace

In hopes that my aching heart will cease before my soul is deceased

Vessel of hearts, Dreams built and broken
I wanted to remain silent
But my fire has awoken

My silent heart now speaks.. Of the chaos life can wreak.. Of the manipulation of the weak.. Of how my mouth hates truth I fear to speak..

For I am weak, among the meek..

So poetry for me will speak..
Until I find the happiness I seek..

I will love poetry.. My caretaker.. My dream..

My hate..

My love..

The loudest noise of the brightest room
Can carry away the view from you

But you must be you
To shine brighter..

Than any sound ever could bring you down

A lesson of years
Forged in tears
Gives me the years that remain

My life is my lane..

Tried shifting lanes
I tried shifting gears
I tried hiding from my fears
I grew my own pain..

It took the strength of my lifetime..
To be free of the world's mind..

Become an individual..
And be me..

I feel more free

As if I have unshackled a lock
That I couldn't see never was..

The lock existed..

But it took my heart..
To realize my captor forgot to secure me

I walk left and then right
Left and then right..

Like before..

But now free..

Pain can become fear
Fear can hurt you more than that pain

You exist in this world
By nature are bound to no one

Sometimes.. It just takes a little living

To set yourself free
To know you deserve more..

Life can make you breathe a little heavy..
Slow it down there..

Its ok..

You aren't the only one..

The truth is there is so much good in this world.. Sometimes.. You only need look..

"My darkness came from within me"

My heart was that only
My mind as well..

Or so I thought..

But it was never true..
And you can be you..

Should your will ever wane..
I've lived in hospitals..
Suffered in tears like the rain

But I let it go..
The pain..

Been to death's door and back
It was my own heart I attacked

But hey..
I really did make it back..

And you..

You are not alone.

Looked in the mirror. Into my own eyes. "Do I know you..? Do I.. Really know you?".. Hazel to steely gray.. My god.. Did I throw it all away?

Born with a true heart. Raised within love. Torn apart I find myself reachin to past the skys above. Drowned in love a bright visage turned cold 25 so young yet my image so shaken a fickle soul with time on my side but my eyes are my truth, my wisdom, and downfall my efforts boring, my trying old.. A downfall for all who look within me.. My facade will not hold..

Hatred within me for those thrown aside.. This earth in a process of a slow suicide you run to lies but what you truly despise is these mistruths in your eyes all mirrors comfort with these lies it's just a slow demise..

From yourself its so futile.. You cannot hide.. This is earth, humanity, and us. Mired in slow suicide.. We try to escape but we are our own fate..

You can never escape..

Submit and be you as love turns a gray hue.. I thought I was a saint as did you but hey, Mr. Devil guess we are just like you..

We are lonely, we are lost, the young hearts of hope torn asunder..

Born into this world as it all falls apart.. Hope so weak but I must push on..

Refresh on a killed heart..

Shattered..

Torn apart..

Poetry must rhyme.. We do it all the time. Felt restricted these sentiments in rhymes but in hearts no form exists to express the extent of the effect of time on a human mind confined.. Poetry must rhyme.. I can't feel alone anymore.. So not this time..

Its a bird!.. Its a plane!.. No.. its the sky falling while the world rises. Drinking coffee.. but why can't it be something else?

Oh yea.. No money no home in a world abundant with resources heh forgot about that..

Drinkin' coffee.. Need to do so..

Tonight drinking something a lil more tequila-ish..

Yeah I am running from my problems. You bet your existence I am.

Just look in a mirror before you judge. We all were happy once..

Its when you lose something beyond value you truly cherish that you begin to just.... change..

Money isn't my problem. Because I prioritize keepin' it flowin' I stop it from becoming one..

Its me thats the problem..

My nights are music and tears then sleep(if I am lucky)

I guess its realizing that I am not alone that hurts..

Always walls closing in on me. They are made of glass.. Yet somehow..

I remain so invisible.. Become colder.. As if Im becoming the very walls I feel like I am suffocating behind..

Someone.. Anyone..

Find my hopes and dreams.. Take aim at me with them as a sorrow-sharpened arrow..

And shatter me..

Poetry must rhyme.. I can't feel alone anymore.. So not this time.. The sorrow in mirror-reflected eyes is not only yours but mine.. And yes.. It tortures me.. All of the time..

Give me a starlit day
Wish the daylight away
Love the nights unchanged
My stress exchanged light into dark

Unchained, Uncontained
I am apart from the daylight but clear
Fighting loneliness for and from clarity not fear..

What a beautiful day here
Its just feels weird..

I don't belong here
Doesn't matter anyway I'm guided by stars..

Defined by scars

I revel in the peace of night..
I will be alright..

Sun-hued moonlight.. ❤

A spark..
A thought..

A simple thought while hearts wane..
Apart from personal gain..

We want it..

Even though it riddles us..
With bullets of pain..

So strong yet weak..
But never unseeked..

Cupid shoots billions so how in heaven can he miss so many?

And only hit millions?

I feel alone in being alone but I'm not alone feeling lonesome on my own unknown, unshown, hidden, unspoken, and never home..

And it rips me apart.. This truth of broken hearts..

This horrible fact.. This thought..

These people torn apart..
So scared to love again..

We can't even start..

The fires within rage on
The cage weakening
The page in the book of this life..

It is a definition of the hell within its author..

I have walked roads of pain
I have gone insane
I have become my enemy

Closer to myself than any friend

I have turned into a soldier
A soul of one unsold
A story of experiences untold

I am a man of images
A man of molded culture molded til breaking

My heart cannot be seen..
And you are looking in all the wrong places..

My words are the carrier of my soul..
I live and love alone on my own..
Agony clearly shown..

I never grew up
Only donned the life expected of me

A divide created within me..

I feel as if I am a heaven and a hell..

But your world will never shatter me..

Break, yes.. But never shatter..
To live going forward seems best..

But the broken memories of a past so long gone..

They haunt..
They taunt..

Trying to be real again when they simply cannot..

Better to use them
Than be destroyed by them..

I guess this is life..
I guess its normal..
I guess its even human..

I know I will never feel ok with this way of living..

If only I could be like the rest..
Maybe I already am..

Chasing what's "best"....
While hoping for the truly best..

I am already like the rest..

Just couldn't see it..