upbeat, and energetic.
how much is too much?
the urge to chug
heart down't slow down now

the body is desperate
force me to breathe
i forgot how

I have them; people
who can't live alone
i crawl through
mud of ironic smiles
teeth yellowed by
nicotine death but
you never saw me
the way I wanted you
to, anyway, let's re
begin

I'm running
spilling blood
snail trails
slimy leftovers
my footprints
aching soles
reaching out to
mend
other aching souls
each pill a haze
each hit a day's gaze
away from this
I need to be
alone without being solitary
drown me in - no
I can do it myself.
hit me, i want this
will you promise
to keep my collar tight?

.. I'm afraid: if I breathe fresh air
what will become of my sweet staleness
sitting in heaven's refuse
i'm among such
**** sinners
my perfect brokenness
hush, i'm spinning
bring more pills, when you return.
I'm sober ( I hate this)

i hear your outcry
false love
needy little child
bawling crocodile tears
you want her to
love you, correction:
bow to you. she is
FREEDOM
we aren't children
don't spoonfeed
your hilarious attempts
self-harm for her benefit
no. selfish creep.
stop forcing
heartbeat measured
tastes bland as stale rice
cold: as rain washes
through my entrails.
I feel no pity.
she is not your toy
get a dog

when I see the colors you carefully speak
your tongue to ink to paper to screen
to my eyes
to my heart, which knows
begging to be let out ( i caged it long ago)
running sharp nails along the dark
side of my ribs, i beg for mercy

heat in my stomach
(or lower?)
I've never been starfishing
I suppose I could have tried
but I digress. this moment i realize
falling stars are real, one has
crashed into my skin
alighting upon my shoulder
whispering in my ear
rain falling and birdsong
and the sweetness of a guitar

are never any match for the voice of a god

but the hole in my lungs is draining
my air into the the sky, plugging
it with all this nicotine is utterly
useless. i do it often enough
to know. bleeding eyes
stare at your face, or
what i can see of it
on the screen, I
guess. will you
come for me?

take that it any way you prefer.
( i meant it in every way possible)

replay the music
i can't fall, not without a soundtrack
hands sting from skinless remarks
shuffling sideways to avoid
blatant attraction
words spilled from the side of
a half-closed mouth
that never fully closes

I would bleed for you if you asked me to
i would rather you kept me from losing everything.
we could be sheep in the fields forever
sunlight and waving golden faces, old rain
on the trees slipping down to remind the dry hands

lay with me in the grass, but don't get wet
we can do that later