...that's an ice cold strategy
Some shifty savagery
To tell me I have the luxury
Of not having to deal with family
But you know me
So you know that's the only thing I've ever wanted,
And you use it against me
Part of what make you so special to me,
Is you are essential to me
I say that knowing it's probably
Not a healthy way to be
You're all I have essentially
You could never possibly lose everything
But me?
I'm about to be

©2024

A lost grip,
Another familiar slip
Running parallel with a predictable confidence dip
Regardless of every other absorbed hit
No one's record is perfect
It was bound to become evident
Taking a toll
Beginning to show
Worried life will dole out more trouble than one should be expected to tow
Stashed in the back of a mind is the knowledge it's possible
Work to avoid the void of a logic loophole that feeds the unreasonable
While acknowledging life cares so very little
About a big ol' white flag run up a pole

©2024

To pain I am no stranger
The first name basis is strange for sure
Caught up in an above the boards love affair
Like day to day warfare
It's fare if everyone fights fare
Otherwise it's life as a sucker in a bunker
Still not safe from the vulture culture
Fueling an anger that stirs the rage monster
Who then in turn wakes the violence that likes to linger
One v one they're barley a threat to boil over
The one benefit found for getting older
They can be handled in short order
But together they can alter a future
I acknowledge the fact it's part of my character
And work to recognize each trigger better
Enabling myself to be my own mediator
So I can step in-between me and myself quicker
It was all just, once again, too little too late,
I missed the transition from raging river
To city sewer
Instead of shooting a flare in the air I dropped anchor in danger
The last bridge I let smolder after traversing over
Was the only bridge out of my hell,
A sobering thing to remember only after realizing there was never going to be a true winner

©2024

According to this here thermometer,
My heart hit ten minus absolute zero earlier
Impossibly cold and still getting colder
Think...nuclear winter,
Or Neptune in December
Sleeping in a subzero freezer
To be a smig warmer
Now imagine it getting run over
Over and over and over and over
What I'm left with doesn't ultimately matter
There's no chance that what I'm working with here,
The miniscule crumbs collected off the floor,
Will be anywhere near capable of getting the job done anymore
I hope there's no more of this repeat offender behavior in store
I don't want this as my muse or my lore

©2024

Should I really worry about every chip on my shoulder?
Because I'm far more concerned about this planet size boulder that's up there
Knowing it is, still hoping it's not a foreboding place holder
A precursor to a something likely to be far heavier
Representing a multifaceted, real and present danger
I know I know better than to say I can take the pressure
Because inevitably that's when you hear
The crazy train circling life shift and kick into higher gear
Elevating despair to a level superceding fear
No one gets to choose their final chapter
So whatever
Let's just get this over with if it's not going to get any better for here

©2024

In my beginning some thing created this purposeless mess that stands before you
Knowing my best would never be enough and still pushed me through like some kind of fuuck you
To who?
To the future me, to the tragedy I'd become ultimately?
That's a ridiculously high baggage fee
Especially for baggage bestowed upon me
If there's nothing he can't do then none of this is how it had to be
But nooooo,
He had to go and put in that god ****** fruit tree

©2024

I'm tired of fighting for a we that you don't seem to ever be in the mood to fight for deep in your core
I'm tired of working on a we just to have me thrown in my face till I surrender and hit the floor
I'm tired of having to be perfect in order for me to be worth you sticking around for
I'm tired of being in a single topic argument just to have you bring in dozens from the way back store
I'm tired of being held fully responsible for these issues I have but am not even remotely responsible for
I'm tired of working on us issues just for you to shrug them off 'cause I have so many more
I need you to want me to be part of your we, otherwise what the fuuck are we struggling through this fire for?
I'll be waiting for your answer by the exit gate but only for a couple minutes more

©2024