Bathtubs spend alot of time empty.
When used they are never filled completely.

Maybe I'm like a bathtub.
Cold and clean.

Well...

I'd hope to be clean. But I find myself ***** more often then not.

But I could shine. I could be filled to the brink of overflow.

You could lay on me for awhile.. Close your eyes and just relax.

I'll wrap myself around you and welcome you into me.

****...I'm like a bathtub.

I came to you in shadow.
Creeping into thoughts and poking holes in your perception.

But I'm just a pretty ghost.

My reflection I so often feel betrays me.
I paint my lips red because I have impenetrable walls.
You can't bust through,
So please don't try.

Hand held out to stop you.

But all I want to do is breathe your breath.
Inhale your sent and allow myself to do what I do best.. Discover.

Wonder surrounds me.
I'll always take a dare,
Yet I couldn't take you.

In all honesty my tea set it shattered.
The tea party is forever on pause because like my tea ***,
I'm so cracked.

I'm standing here,
not knowing what to say.
It seems to escape me now.
Losing it through fingers clenched to tight.

I'm standing here,
but you don't see me anymore.
It's fading beyond my grasp,
soon left to be polished memories and stale perfume.

I'm standing here,
fighting the impulse to run,
Not knowing what to do...
Feet frozen from backward thoughts that fill me with doubt.

I'm standing here,
and I have no idea why.
Just a naive girl with bare feet,
and hair let free.
Wondering why the wind keeps whispering your name.

You want to take the wings I've earned, I sense it beyond your touch. You wrapped your hand around my throat, and it become too much.

You think that you're the only man, to ask of me what you do. But in reality, there have been countless before you.

I pace this room to ease your pain, it sinks within my skin. Another scar from your heartache burns. So much to say, I can't begin.

I count the scars on my flesh, the hearts I've had and lost. You look at me like I'm the monster, but never ask the cost.

Reaching out into the darkness,
I wonder,
why thinking of him hurts so badly.

I meet him in dreams,
soft kisses of ginger and melody,
intimacy unfolding me.

I open slowly,
delicate and curious,
only to fade again with sun rise.

Daylight is lonely,
counting silence,
and the piece's of him I fear I've lost.

In sleep I beg him to take my heart,
to shatter it,
because,
I always linger in between.

It must make you feel good that you broke me.

Took any stability that I had, and invested it in lies.

It chokes me.

I can't remember to breathe...

I see your hands around my neck, but I can justify it to my last breath.

The hand prints on the wall don't match my own. But you don't care that you never saw me clearly.

All you care about is the satisfaction you get from the aftermath.

I'll clean up the broken pieces. As long as you remember that, your the reason I'm left incomplete.

He takes my hand in his,
tilting his head so his brown eyes turn into me.
He's looking to hard,
with such intensity,
I feel myself folding like crumbled paper.

I don't really know him..
I look at him as he presses me to have another drink,
I already know how tonight will end,
me intoxicated and foolish.

I suppressed the thought of someone else,
his lips met mine so intensely.
Hands tugging through my hair,
mouth gasping stolen sentiments,
as he takes me greedily in his bed.

My hands shake,
and I feel bare as we collide,
my long thin body intertwined with his.
Alcohol making my skin warm,
his body busting after what feels like not long.

I know when I awake in the morning,
that I'll feel incomplete.
the part of me given to him missing,
another notch on this man's belt,
and another unspoken name on my list.

I open my mouth just to speak, but all that comes out is air. You look at me without seeing, but I'm always standing here.

Walk past me without a glance, all I wanted was to matter. Disregard me and how I feel, it makes me all the sadder.

A pretty face that lost her voice, you took what made me complete. Now I'm just a whisper of wind, that can't see her feet.

I tiptoed past you but you didn't notice, tears streaming from my face. Still invisible I pack my bags, and leave this lonely place.

I wanted so badly for you to see me, but more to set my own self free. I knew I could only be whole again, once you instead became invisible to me.

Words fall from red stained lips
my voice
trembling too much to hear.
Fear muffles the sound
so,
it tumbles out
the essence of a whisper.
If I screamed,
it would only be an echo.
Or aggressive tendencies
that warrant a right
to ignorance.
A small resemblance
of who I am
and a glimmer of
what it is resounding of.
I am lost,
a shadow now of who you once loved.
I stand before you.
Resentment now holds
in my place of silence.

Reality has a hard grasp,
causing me to forget to breathe sometimes.

Familiar hands choking me.
The lost opportunities get caught in my throat,
as I notice the fingerprints on the wall match my own.

To afraid to take the risk,
because all I really want to do is jump.
I wish that I could watch what holds me so tight shatter,
releasing a thousand promises of tomorrow.

I stand still ....
because I'm scared of getting lost again,
Deep stunning water that could swallow me whole.

Dreams can't be stolen.
But I see mine transform, as the puzzle pieces of you start fitting into place.

It's coming undone,
I feel it threatening to give way.
This is just the beginning,
At this point I already know,
All we've built will come crashing down.

It's coming undone,
It hit me quick.
The realization stinging my eyes.
A life without you....
It's chocking me.

It's coming undone,
And all I can do is stand witness.
Just wait,
For you to see it too.
I can see no future beyond this,
If you can,
Please...show me.

It's coming undone,
As destiny must've decided.
Perhaps the moment we declared,
Our love must be fate.
Time proved us liars.

I'm coming undone,
You see this,
Me gasping for breath.
Yet you point the finger at me,
Because,
I'm so good at starting over.
I'm so good at watching it all come undone.

It's just to much
              for anyone to take,
let alone
b r o k e n me.
When he shattered me
            all that time ago,
        I lost a piece of myself.

It's just to much
          to show you who I am.
I know perfectly well
        for I keep myself company,
and share    no ones   secrets but my own.

Its just to much
         to love me,
       so much work,
so much patience   and    sweat
      it will break you.....

It's just to much
       who comforts me when I cry?
who holds me when I am scared?

It's just to much
to ask     anyone     other    
        ...then myself.

I've hidden you away.

Tucking secrets into the cement cracks.

Burying all emotion alongside the person I used to be.

Sometimes it feels like a faded yesterday.
Yet years of your absence grow stale and suffocating.

I burned the edges of memories.
Hoping to blur those moments I once vowed to keep forever.

I took the blame when I broke your heart.
In that moment I became stuck within these walls.

I've hidden you away.

Now you're just a name that lingers on my lips,
And an ache in my heart.

I never thought I'd ever know the feeling of her absence, Her laughter faded into memory.

Her scent still lingers in my closet. Clothes that silhouette an image that was left untainted.

Words fail to express the truth in what we had, yet I push it away.

I had to when it hurt so much.

Our past set on fire when I chose to leave it behind, hurting us both.

But I'll never know who more.....

The problem was she only saw part of me. When I gave her so much of my soul.

In the end she broke my heart worse then he ever could. Fogged eyes seeing expectations I couldn't for fill.

Secrets whispered of lies so easily believed. Tainted red and broken already.

I walked away because I couldn't bear her heart break again.

I never thought she would never not know me. But in the end she proved she never knew me at all.

I wish I was a ghost.

I'd be able to fold into what you wanted me to be.

I'd be visible and incomprehensible.

Your perception of me is all that truly matters isn't it?

Everyone always knows what I need.

Guiding angels so often put hands around my neck, and turn into monsters in the dark.

If I was a ghost I'd walk through walls and not through your thoughts.

Perhaps it would've been best if I had stopped haunting you months ago.

But it's impossible too drift away when you leave my skin on fire,
And make my heart feel so alive.

I wish to be a cloud.

I could linger in between.
Present but not fully here.

I'd allow the wind to take me along the endless sky.
Never losing possibilities or places.

I wash my hands of regret and responsibility.
I'll bask in freedom and forgot about pain.

To be visible, yet never close enough to touch.
Always searching for what lies beyond my reach.

At this moment I'd give anything to be a cloud,
To dissolve into the unknown and become so beautiful.

I wept an ocean and dared to drown, in the waves of yesterday. I lingered exhausted on its shore, but I knew I couldn't stay.

I walked a path of hardened stone, my boots torn and broken. I sealed my lips of secrets kept, horrors survived yet never spoken.

I held hope in tenacious hands, a flicker of flame that I could see. Pulling myself from darkened past, is this reflection really me?

I've swam so hard and traveled so far, to find this strength within my soul. I reach for a better tomorrow, the scars I bare now make me whole.

Patchwork shards put carefully in place, a mosaic that beats within my chest. Bent but never broken it drums, my feet keeping the rhythm on this quest.

Backyard lit by white lights
a fire burning
My cheeks flushed
From ample wine
and laughter.

I sit here gracelessly
Trying to evade
His sideways glances
And the way
hunger
Clings to his lips.

Do I allow him
To have me?
Temptation compelling
Heart raw and beating
My inhibition
Stripped
I am now bare.

Legs spread
And lips parted
He is greedy with me
Gasping from the need
Hands tangled in my dark hair.

He is just another
Indent on my mattress
  Another name
Written on an unspoken list
  Just another mark
On my once pure soul.

Words seem to cut the soul, jagged edges distorted with color. Always avoiding the gallows, though I deserve to hang like any other.

Betrayl is a bitter pill, caught in a circle to burn us from inside. Walls I  built with magic dust, to help me better hide.

I called for peace but he wanted war, bellowing like thunder to the sky. He drew a sword and I my pen, then he dared to ask me why.

Kaleidoscope kingdoms never last, casualties scattered in every direction. He stole my youth and robbed my virture, beauty fading with age and imperfection.

He finally fell from his throne, the empire he built with deceit unable to stand. I'm moving on to catch the sun, with hope held in my hand.

I pulled the monster from the shadows, and cut his throat with glee. I muttered prayers of forgiveness, and declared it Destiny.

I couldn't stand the constant battle, the knife left in my back. I've run out of fingers and toes, counting all the things I lack.

I took those wings he severed from me, and sewed them back into place. I stood tall in spite of rumors, whispered phrases of disgrace.

Never did I claim to be a Saint, my history's tainted and twisted. But I had to ****, this Demon that existed.

Maybe I should feel remorse? He's 10 feet in the ground. But no matter how hard I search, no emotion can be found.

I muttered an apology,
but he slapped me regardless.

Truth is, it lacked sincerity.
Seeing it in my sullen eyes.

Men find it a turn off.
My lack of ambition.
My lack of inspiration.
My lack of empathy in general.

They still find a way into my bed.
Attempting to change my casual nature.

My lack of,
eventually exploding down his disappointed throat.

Fingers brush upon skin, So soft and delicate. Let it linger.

Eyes closed, My heart races as your lips touch mine. Let it linger.

Your hands curved around my face. Eyes locked and no words need to be said. Let it linger.

Body's pressed together, Passion electrified. Let it linger.

The time fades out, There is no one in the world but us. Please just, Let it linger.

Like rain drops plunging
into puddles
this only echos outward.

I can feel it vibrating
the harrowing space
that separates us.

Ripples repeated
trickling with the notion
that it's moving...somewhere.

Slipping into
subtle transformation
that we pray is growth.

Obsorbing within us
like rain drops dancing
bound together by spirit.

Wasn't I quiet enough for you?

Did I keep your secret tucked far enough under the comforter,
Where even now,
You can't admit I have laid.

Because if you did,
You'd have to admit the never leaving,
Because it never left.
Longing always lingers in the silence between.

You've hidden me in the folds of the blanket.
Always searching through memories,
Just for a moment of what once was.

I can't return your calls.
My absence now echos through us both.
The indent of my body growing stale,
Like fading perfume on the pillow.

I know it in the way you once kissed me.
Yet now,
You only whisper my name to the bed sheets.

Long crossed paths that leave life in a tangled mess. Which road to pick will right my wrongs, I don't know I must confess.

I grow exhausted from my journey, and decided to seek refuge under this old oak tree. As I sat and ponder direction, it wrapped its branches around me.

Comfort came and tamed my rage, quieted the voices inside my head. When sleep overshadowed thought, it provided a humble bed.

As I woke the mighty oak whispered through the breeze. Letting me know I must go, and choose the path I please.

Reluctant I stand strong and make my way, looking back only to find. That my tree of comfort and refuge was gone, it was a figment of my mind.

I built these bricks with magic dust, to keep all evil out. But instead I sealed my fate, for I can't freely move about.

I have these wings so angel soft, that want to stretch and fly. My fear of falling keeps me frustrated, for I wish to touch the sky.

He came to me once like a shining star, so bright I could feel the heat. But circles cast and secrets hidden, lead to my own defeat.

It could've been love, it's so hard to tell as these walls obscure my view. It doesn't stop the constant thought, that what could end this curse was you.

I once wondered lost and off course
A strong hand extended
Amity and faith blended
Leading to a profound thought
that I was so much more.

My world once dark and oppressive
He gifted me with sight
Vibrant colors of bold ignite
Banishing ruin and dismay
Brilliant light now illuminates me.

A skip of my heart
Butterflies in motion
A thawed soul learns devotion
Destiny can be sutbtle
Sparks soon set to flame.

A familiarity in his eyes
connection beyond explanation
What occurs is pure creation
love unexpected
This blessing of abundance that we now share.

I adore the way my skin looks with yours.
Milky white against your caramel complexion.
Soft is the touch of love,
Yet heated by passion.
Pink lips part to taste,
Flesh so desirable.
I'd like to press upon you,
Souls intertwined.
Breath and beating hearts become our own music.
Time is still,
Worries lost....
You Are my Only focus.
Gently tracing curves with the lightest of finger tips.
Pushing the hair back from my face, Eyes meet,
A gaze that's held with looking beyond what's visibly seen.
Love lacks the true form of my heart colliding with yours.

Magic is all around me, In a little touch of light, Or enveloping me, In a full moon on an endless night.

It erupts in busts of laughter, Where sadness thought it could stay. It's the comfort I find within, On a lonely day.

Once surrounded and hopeless, Magic helped me see, Through the looking glass I once wondered, If I can truly be free.

What once was ruin, Has transformed into something I so proudly call my home. It's everything I was told, I could never have on my own.

I stretch these wings, so soft and new, I've worked so hard to earn. Only through surviving hell, Can we begin to learn.

I feel magic all around me, as I crave to experience the world in strife. To touch and be witness of, What I've been caged from all my life.

Sometimes I think his scent lingers on my skin.

Scars impossible to erase no matter how hard I scrub.

His need for me always urgent.

Firm forceful hands always taking more then I want to give.

The secret is pain can be such pleasure..

Making love to monsters in the dark.

Eyes closed and gasping.

Physical need overwhelming,
and fireworks nowhere in sight.

Sometimes I think his scent lingers on my skin.

Scars impossible to erase no matter how hard I scrub.

His need for me always urgent.

Firm forceful hands always taking more then I want to give.

The secret is pain can be such pleasure..

Making love to monsters in the dark.

Eyes closed and gasping.

Physical need overwhelming,
and fireworks nowhere in sight.

Sometimes I think his scent still lingers on my skin.

Scars impossible to erase no matter how hard I scrub.

His need for me always urgent.

Firm forceful hands always taking more then I want too give.

The secret is pain can be such pleasure...

Making love to monsters in the dark. Eyes closed and gasping.

Physical need overwhelming,
And fireworks no where in sight.

See within the broken glass, in hopes to catch a reflection. I place this mask upon my face, for the image of perfection.

This one hides in deeper shades, colors take on a different hue. The person that is really me, I sometimes crave you knew.

Rage is red across my face, it flashes only suddenly. If you knew what I harbored inside, our companionship would never be.

Regret and shame I tuck deep within, to you I can never show. It rips and claws at the corners of me, more then you could know.

If I take each breathless verse he wrote and put it in my pocket,
Maybe then I can tuck it away,
and keep that part of him close to me.

If arms could wrap around me, blanketing me in warm comfort,
Maybe then I'd get swept away in his desire to have me.

If I could just peek within the corners of his mind,
Maybe then I wouldn't be so afraid to fall.

If I could get past the maybe that tends to linger on my lips,
Maybe then my heart will heal.

If fingertips could gently touch,
And lips could softly meet,
Maybe then stars would collide and I may not drown.

I separated my mind and heart, because they never can agree. Always seem too have different needs, and bicker endlessly.

I built a wall up higher, trying to protect my soul. My mind said he would break me, my heart couldn't take another toll.

My heart kept whispering his name, and longing for his touch. I couldn't make my mind agree, it warned it's far to much.

Hearts must be made of glass, and we keep our minds in chains. After all the heartache I've endured, maybe only a pretty face remains.

Conflicted because I never got to say, all that I might. Tormented by the memories of you, and how my mind and heart still fight.

I place my bare feet to the Earth, my long hair flowing free. I stretch my palms up to the Moon, and ask her to heal me.

Wind blows around me, Winter chill framing my face. My dress clings to the curves of my body, all pain and fears erased.

I won't hang my head anymore, I refuse to drown in Sorrow. I don't have all the missing pieces, but I'll Hope for a better tomorrow.

Dance can be a magical thing, it helps in untold ways. Moonbeams all around me, I haven't felt this Light in days.

I absorb the Universe, I just want to be set free. To cast aside these broken dreams, and find Tranquility.

I place my bare feet to the Earth, my long hair flowing free. I stretch my palms up to the Moon, and ask her to heal me.

Wind blows around me, Winter chill framing my face. My dress clings to the curves of my body, all pain and fears erased.

I won't hang my head anymore, I refuse to drown in Sorrow. I don't have all the missing pieces, but I'll Hope for a better tomorrow.

Dance can be a magical thing, it helps in untold ways. Moonbeams all around me, I haven't felt this Light in days.

I absorb the Universe, I just want to be set free. To cast aside these broken dreams and find Tranquility.

Moonlit dreams and candle light, stars that speckle the darkened sky. I fail to count the hours, minutes, as time just passes us by.

Your touch that triggers goosebumps, rise upon my skin. Thoughts that flicker through my mind, as our dance of intimacy is about to begin.

Take my breath and breathe it as your own, inhale my infatuation. I close my eyes and let my mind slip, into this wonderful sensation.

Magnetic bonds to tie us, pulling us to touch. I rise and heat just burns through me, attraction consumes so much.

Passion flares red as we collide, entangled in one another. Through heat and sweat, we cant deny, that we fit perfectly into each other.

It builds and takes hold of me, I am left gasping for air. Fireworks light the way. I lay to rest in your arms, where I forever plan to stay.

Moonlit dreams and candle light, stars that speckle the darkened sky. I fail to count the hours, minutes, as time just passes us by.

Your touch that triggers goosebumps, rise upon my skin. Thoughts that flicker through my mind, as our dance of intimacy is about to begin.

Take my breath and breathe it as your own, inhale my infatuation. I close my eyes and let my mind slip, into this wonderful sensation.

Magnetic bonds to tie us, pulling us to touch. I rise and heat just burns through me, attraction consumes so much.

Passion flares red as we collide, entangled in one another. Through heat and sweat, we cant deny, that we fit perfectly into each other.

It builds and takes hold of me, I am left gasping for air. Fireworks light the way. I lay to rest in your arms, where I forever plan to stay.

I feel my clothes catch on jagged rocks, but I mustn't slow my pace. Hands from limbs of unseen trees, slap me in the face.

Exhausted and worn I carry on, boots kick up dirt and mud. Thirsty lips that long for dreams, onward must I trudge.

I have hope tucked in my pocket, and luck strapped to my back. I'm bent yet never broken, no time to count the things I lack.

Monstrous rocks that block my way, they will move to my command. I'm pure strength and determination, in this shell they call a man.

Everything is always winding,
   Turning into
Something unknown.
Ending up      
                    In a different place.
I've almost forgotten where I started for a moment.

Uncertainty has always been a burden.
The unknown leaves me searching.

Cards
            Palms
                       Omens
                                     Dreams.

That part always gets me..
  Fortune teller of fantasy in flowing skirts of rainbow fabric.

I laugh so brightly it sometimes hurts.

Promise not to   let the room
    Go dark.

I could get lost in its   e  n  d l e s s
Void.

***** intuition, sensing visitors in the night.

Uncertainty is a spiteful villain.
However the stars
       say fate  can be just as cruel.

My hands are small
wrists delicate
but
they are beautifully worn.

I could run
my fingertips
across
your soft skin
tracing muscles
and grasping all of you.

I want to cup them
and catch your tears
hold your sadness
and allow you to feel healed.

My hands miss yours hands
the space
between my fingers
must be made to fit
flawlessly.

I want
that privilege
of intertwining
and
syncing into each other
through touch.

Words they seem to cut the soul, in rigid angry stages. Always wondering if it'll fade, along the body that still ages.

I see the scars marking me, burned into skin with hate. Never able to escape that frame, when to little was too late.

You can see it in my reflection now, I'm worn away with time. Lost in translation is stolen youth, a perception that once left me blind.

Men look at me and think they know, because the scars I have to bare. Intimacy so hard to find, because my self worth was never there.

Twisted images in faded memories, when I once was pure perfection. Now I see a distorted me, when I gaze at my own reflection.

I wish I knew the women I see, when I look at my own reflection. Age and scars marked into skin, I can count all the imperfection.

Age escaped me, and time turned thief with backward rhymes of yesterday. Watching age set into the surface, youth the cost I had to pay.

My hair flows around my face, I wish I recognized this beautiful vision. But I am just a frame of myself, binded by Destiny's decision.

Epiphany knocked me on my ***, I break my own heart every ******* time. I crumble and fall to pieces, over what the stars won't speak divine.

Who is me, this women I see, when glimpses come into view? A small fragment of myself, a memory of me, like someone I once knew...

I wish I knew the women I see, when I look at my own reflection. Age and scars marked into skin, I can count all the imperfection. 

Age escaped me, and time turned thief with backward rhymes of yesterday. Watching age set into the surface, youth the cost I had to pay. 

My hair flows around my face, I wish I recognized this beautiful vision. But I am just a frame of myself, binded by Destiny's decision. 

Epiphany knocked me on my ***, I break my own heart every ******* time. I crumble and fall to pieces, over what the stars won't speak divine. 

Who is me, this women I see, when glimpses come into view? A small fragment of myself, a memory of me, like someone I once knew...

Words they seem to cut the soul, in rigid angry stages. Always wondering if it'll fade, along the body that still ages.

I see the scars marking me, burned into skin with hate. Never able to escape that frame, when to little was too late.

You can see it in my reflection now, I'm worn away with time. Lost in translation is stolen youth, a perception that once left me blind.

Men look at me and think they know, because the scars I have to bare. Intimacy so hard to find, because my self worth was never there.

Twisted images in faded memories, when I once was pure perfection. Now I see a distorted me, when I gaze at my own reflection.

I go down through the list of regret, the things that I've done wrong. Knowing that its a part of me, a demon I've battled all along.

A reflection of me, the women I see is bowing her head in shame. Knees to chest, regret wont rest, when you're the one to blame.

My lips are sealed in secrecy, of things I could never tell. The floor beneath me is made of glass, its no wonder that I fell.

As if an essence of a shadow lingers, that follows close behind. It rips and cuts pieces of me, and I slowly lose my mind.

I could cry a river of "what if"
Or
If you prefer I could write a list of all my fears.

Or maybe if you get close enough,
I'll tell you why I hate mirrors.

Secrets stained red on lips that must only    part to    breathe.
Scarlet letter branded on her chest,
To love only means to deceive.

Let me tell you about whiskey, I hate it just as well.
I drowned in the bottom of a bottle once, after I saved myself from hell.

I tucked it away and pushed it aside, When I begged for help from the start. Crimson secrets burned on my lips, and now scars marked on my heart.

She must be my purest truth, a trickery of light. The part of me that has to stand, screaming silence into the night.

I prefer my silhouette, as my reflection is a disguise. Something waiting to spill out, darkness shaded through my eyes.

She walks with me and whispers doubt, this extension of my being. Never having to pay much mind, to the heartache I keep leaving.

Keeping all my secrets, she mimic's every move I make. Struggling with my sanity, and how my minds about to break.

I am light while she is dark, this Shadow next to me. Merging with my identity, becoming this contradiction that you see.

Shattered...
Is me.
Always so afraid to move that I get lost in the waves.

I'm made of glass but no one cares.

Oceans overflow from me.
Spilling out so disgustingly.

Any dignity I had has washed away completely.

Am I so stupid that I forgot how to swim?

Tears won't stop.

This sadness is overwhelming and I just can't reach the shore.

My tears are an ocean.
Held in so long that it swells,
So consuming is sadness.
I wish I could just drown.

It's always a struggle.
Tears fall without my permission,
Into an ocean that could maybe help me vanish.