I've written his name on my *******,
because it can never escape my lips.

He's only for me,
My very own secret.

He could breathe for me,
Because he makes me forget how.
Pressing his mouth to mine and his palms to my bare chest.

I could let him break me,
Bend me into submission.

I want so badly to leave lipstick stains in forbidden places,
and the scent of my perfume on his skin.

Butterflies can't be suppressed,
nor can the effect he has over me.
Setting me on fire as I seal his name away,
the taste of our secret lingering always on my lips.

Scribbled notes on napkins, unfinished verses slightly askew. I put it all down in pen, to capture a small part of you.

Have a told you lately that I adore you? How the sound of your voice can drive me wild? You're the man I've  always dreamed of, ever since I was a child.

You shine so bright you steal my breath, like rays of sun I feel your glow. You somehow have come to be, the only thing I wish to know.

I never did deserve you, I once knelt to pray towards fading night. Holding onto fallen stars, I wished with all my might.

My hand is missing from yours, I feel the space where your fingers should be. I want to give you everything, but all I have is me.

I always thought it was brave of Wendy,  to love a boy who refused to grow. To get caught up in his wonderlust, to fly and mock the crow.

She let him sweep her off her feet, with dust that shined so bright. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and they fled into the night.

Love is a curse in Neverland, unbroken by gypsy magic of old. Peter has a reputation though, tales among the campfire told.

The crocodile turned its clock back, to synchronize with Wendy's furious cries. The lost boys lined up with tissues, to sob their last goodbyes.

Maybe Wendy fell apart when she returned home, emotion finally giving to tears. Only in dreams will she remember him now, as her Neverland disappears.

I lay, The curves of my body fitting perfectly within yours. No space,
Just a loving embrace,
back pressed to your chest.

I always crave to belong to you.

My body remembering traces of moments, Moments I'd pause and find sanctuary in.

If it is but a small frame of time that I can tuck away in my pocket, Keep it close to me always.

My eyes are clouded for my reality is like yours, Only one perspective. I breathe you in, Like I've done so many times before.

Our love is
untouchable.
Deeply rooted
and forever growing.
Built on a foundation
that's unbreakable
and unchangeable.

Exceeding
this world
and surpassing
what's come before us.
Our love
is soul connected
clear and profoundly pure.

He said he caught himself thinking of my long legs when I was absent.

I froze...Silent and annoyed...

Perhaps he was over confidant when he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine.

I slapped him.

It made me feel cheap so I lit a cigarette. I inhaled deeply watching the smoke swirl... if I could just fade away with it.

Lights to bright and sounds that burst. My head hurts...I flick my ash.

Now he's frozen...just watching me.

Perverts and nicotine have the same stench. Both a bad habit I need to quit.

He said he caught himself thinking of my long legs when I was absent.

I froze...Silent and annoyed...

Perhaps he was over confidant when he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine.

I slapped him.

It made me feel cheap so I lit a cigarette. I inhaled deeply watching the smoke swirl... if I could just fade away with it.

Lights to bright and sounds that burst. My head hurts...I flick my ash.

Now he's frozen...just watching me.

Perverts and nicotine have the same stench. Both a bad habit I need to quit.

These are all the pieces of me, Take them as you go. Where they fit I never knew, its been so long I just don't know.

Once I was broken badly, but I never could quite find. Were it was along this journey, that I lost my mind.

Just take my shattered essence, that used to be my soul. I tried to paste it back together once, but I could never make it whole.

I watch you walk out the door, if I didn't care I wouldn't cry. Just take these broken pieces please, so you never ask me why.

These are all the pieces of me, Take them as you go. Where they fit I never knew, its been so long I just don't know.

Once I was broken badly, but I never could quite find. Were it was along this journey, that I lost my mind.

Just take my shattered essence, that used to be my soul. I tried to paste it back together once, but I could never make it whole.

I watch you walk away from me, if I didn't care I wouldn't cry. Just take these broken pieces please, so you never ask me why.

Standing in a puddle of gasoline,
Trying to get this ******* match to light.
It doesn't matter what I do,
in the end it's never right.

A scarlet letter brands my body,
to match my lips of crimson red.
Let me whisper poetry in your ear,
and take your heart to bed.

Lay me down,
I'll set fire ablaze to tame your tortured soul.
Broken hearts never mend,
a shattered essence can never be whole.

I'm standing here with this stupid match, Striking it to spark.
Always hoping to set fire,
to what's hiding in the dark.

Standing in a puddle of gasoline, trying to get this ******* match to light. It doesn't matter what I do, in the end it's never right.

A scarlet letter brands my body, to match my lips of crimson red. Let me whisper poetry in your ear, and take your heart to bed.

Lay me down, I'll set fire ablaze to tame your tortured soul. Broken hearts never mend, a shattered essence can never be whole.

I'm standing here with this stupid match, striking it to spark. Always hoping to set fire, to what's hiding in the dark.

The absence of you seems stiff and crinkled,
Like a crumpled piece of paper.

Ink blots and words crossed,
Just discarded verses and rhythms sprawled endlessly.

Incomplete maybe in a way,
Because I no longer keep your name on my lips.
Only hidden in sheets of paper.

Can you feel the silence?
Like a discarded notebook.
To full to continue,
Lines fill the margin so it's set aside.

Even words escape me now in this,
Paused in my last verse...

The absence of you seems stiff and crinkled,
Like a crumpled piece of paper.

Ink blots and words crossed,
Just discarded verses and rhythms sprawled endlessly.

Incomplete maybe in a way,
Because I no longer keep your name on my lips.
Only hidden in sheets of paper.

Can you feel the silence?
Like a discarded notebook.
To full to continue,
Lines fill the margin so it's set aside.

Even words escape me now in this,
Paused in my last verse...

The absence of you seems stiff and crinkled,
Like a crumpled piece of paper.

Ink blots and words crossed,
Just discarded verses and rhythms sprawled endlessly.

Incomplete maybe in a way,
Because I no longer keep your name on my lips.
Only hidden in sheets of paper.

Can you feel the silence?
Like a discarded notebook.
To full to continue,
Lines fill the margin so it's set aside.

Even words escape me now in this.
Paused on my last verse...

I took you out of notebooks, so that my heart could heal. Had to stomach the reality, that you were never real. 

Pens once lost on pages, now crinckled on the table. Happily ever after, just a twisted fable. 

Erasing you from my soul, burned history marked with pen. So that I may forget my past, and attempt to begin again. 

I scribbled out old verses, I had yet to complete. Leaving behind our memories, ruin laying at my feet. 

What once was love filled margins, with cursive bent askew. Only to find that with time, my poetry is tainted with the poison of you.

Even fate picks it's favorites,
I'm sure of this as I watch the sunset. My porch reveals to much.
The homeless hide their homes in the corners,
Sleeping in the shadows.
The heat leaving them sun burned and drunken.
Can you spare some change?
I've got 5 mouths to feed...
But I always can find some,
Even when they admit it's for beer.
I wonder each time if hope abandons them all.
I know that people can give up on the ones they love,
I know that life can be painful.
But I lay awake at night,
knowing that could be any one of us. Just across the street,
Lays a man in the bushes,
Sleeping off a drunken state,
Not knowing if he'll eat tomorrow.
And me,
I've got 5 mouths to feed.

I have knelt,
Knees to ground
And head bowed
before the fallen.
My decent slow,
And harrowing.
Leaving me
shattered
And no longer whole.  

I have held conviction,
In the faithless.  
Refusing to waiver,
Solidified by belief
In something that could,
And would,
Never be.  

Vigilant and coherent,
I witnessed myself break.
Pieces of me distorted,
Distributed along the floor.
My hands cut on jagged edges,
That I could not,  
And would not,
Be able to piece back together.
I am now,
a mosaic of who I once was.  

My world has ended
On more than one occasion.
Tears creating rivers,
To vast to cross
And so I drowned.
The internal conflict
Of whom I once was,
And who I am now,
coming into vision.
Consuming is the concept
Of whether I should be
proud,
Or ashamed of these things.

Backwards clocks sing distorted chimes, in this promised Land. Nothing solid beneath me now, I struggle just to stand.

Stories told us bended lies, and nailed us to this cross. Head held high we carry on, searching for what is lost.

They said to seek religion, but I always break the mold. Fortune tellers tossing cards, of dreams that just grow cold.

Hope must be a grown up wish, neither really stick. Any path leaves us marked, with scabs we like to pick.

I waisted youth to get here, to stand behind the line. They preach about the promised land, then left us all behind.

You may have noticed puzzle pieces  scattered all around me.
Patterns starting to come into light.

I know this because I see it myself.
So I wait.

I always catch myself wondering what my heart keeps saying, because I'm finding it difficult to translate.

I love the wrong way.
I know this from everything before.

Puzzle pieces that never fit, no matter how hard I try.
Glue and paste never hold.
Edges always askew.
Patterns so complex they hurt my eyes.

It takes time I'm guessing.
Patient hands to guide pieces into place.

I wouldn't know what to do if it where complete.
Or what it might be like,
To never have too worry about starting over.

Reality Check

Exhausted isn't the correct word, as it's more of mind and soul. I bounced to many reality checks, it must've taken a toll.

I couldn't keep on trudging through dreams, while sitting before the hallows. Wasting wishes on nonsense things, while they leave me at the gallows.

I've hung my head in defeat, so many times before. But I'm at that twisted point in life, where I can't take much more.

Shadows follow me where I may go, voices so sinister and wicked. We ***** our fingers on spinning wheels, ignoring what was long ago predicted.

Backwards bones of forgotten men, lay in disarray. All because life's a *****, and she wants to make you pay.

Exhausted isn't the correct word, as it's more of mind and soul. I bounced to many reality checks, it must've taken a toll.

I couldn't keep on trudging through dreams, while sitting before the hallows. Wasting wishes on nonsense things, while they leave me at the gallows.

I've hung my head in defeat, so many times before. But I'm at that twisted point in life, where I can't take much more.

Shadows follow me where I may go, voices so sinister and wicked. We ***** our fingers on spinning wheels, ignoring what was long ago predicted.

Backwards bones of forgotten men, lay in disarray. All because life's a *****, and she wants to make you pay.

This red string of fate binds us, through all eternity, we once were to blinded by heartbreak, to hurt to see.

We lived our lives separate, always feeling incomplete, to ignorant to notice this invisible red thread at our feet.

No matter the distance it can become tangled, yet never broken, the moment we met it was as if destiny had spoken.

The red string of fate can stretch throughout the world, yet will always lead us to eachother, forbidding us to successfully love another.

We are forever connected, by this string tied around your ankle and mine, binding our hearts together since the beginning of time.

It led me to you, now we have found our way, in my heart and soul forever is where you will stay.

When this life ends and we begin anew, I have no doubt that this red string of fate will again lead me to you

I go down through the list of regret, the things that I've done wrong. Knowing that its a part of me, a demon I've battled all along.

A reflection of me, the women I see is bowing her head in shame. Knees to chest, regret wont rest, when you're the one to blame.

My lips are sealed in secrecy, of things I could never tell. The floor beneath me is made of glass, its no wonder that I fell.

As if an essence of a shadow lingers, that follows close behind. It rips and cuts pieces of me, and I slowly lose my mind.

I watched it sway in the wind, but never did it break. I kneel now on bended knee, knowing only what you give is what they take.

I couldn't put it down in pen, faces always see. I couldn't disguise what's inside, That's destroying so much of me.

Shadows linger in closets I keep bare, regrets marked on skin. Hearts must be made of glass, as passion is said to be sin.

Handprints that match my hand, I have a tendency to choke. Yet I often forget how to breath, when everything goes up in smoke.

Ruin is a friend of mine, she is always standing at my back. I'm sitting on the corner of insanity, while she's counting all I lack.

I could fill my hands with wishes.
Vials of fairy dust tucked deep in my pocket.
one day,
I might need it.
But that day I think may never come.

Prayers whispered on red stained lips,
but they drop sincerely,
with to much heart.
Silence says to much in ways I can't comprehend.

Wind says that it can take me to a place, where shadows can't haunt me.
Sorrow can't sit on my door step,
reminding me of things that want to consume to much of me.

Monsters grab me in the night.
Profanity and ****** don't mix well with whiskey.
My stomach is always twisted in knots of strangled butterflies.

I could be a runaway.
Just another face on a milk carton,
or those cluttered bulletin boards at Walmart.
I fade away so easily,
flowers in my hair and feet bare,
sunshine warming my face.

I could fill my hands with wishes.
Vials of fairy dust tucked deep in my pocket.
one day,
I might need it.
But that day I think may never come.

Prayers whispered on red stained lips,
but they drop sincerely,
with to much heart.
Silence says to much in ways I can't comprehend.

Wind says that it can take me to a place, where shadows can't haunt me.
Sorrow can't sit on my door step,
reminding me of things that want to consume to much of me.

Monsters grab me in the night.
Profanity and ****** don't mix well with whiskey.
My stomach is always twisted in knots of strangled butterflies.

I could be a runaway.
Just another face on a milk carton,
or those cluttered bulletin boards at Walmart.
I fade away so easily,
flowers in my hair and feet bare,
sunshine warming my face.

I could fill my hands with wishes.
Vials of fairy dust tucked deep in my pockets.
one day,
I might need it.
But that day I think may never come.

Prayers whispered on red stained lips,
but they drop sincerely,
with to much heart.
Silence says to much in ways I can't comprehend.

Wind says that it can take me to a place, where shadows can't haunt me.
Sorrow can't sit on my door step,
reminding me of things that want to consume to much of me.

Monsters grab me in the night.
Profanity and ****** don't mix well with whiskey.
My stomach is always twisted in knots of strangled butterflies.

I could be a runaway.
Just another face on a milk carton,
or those cluttered bulletin boards at Walmart.
I fade away so easily,
flowers in my hair and feet bare,
sunshine warming my face.

Sand moves through the hour glass, counting down the past. I gripped to tight and lost it all, praying it would last.

I miss you sometimes so much it hurts, but I look back to see the ruin. The scar still proof of what we had, it was our own undoing.

Sand feels gritty between my fingers, I have to pace about. But frustration of things that went unsaid, makes me want to shout.

I can't make sense of the absence between, just that it always lingers in this space. Memories I still hold next to me, I wish I could erase.

I opened myself
Arms stretched
Welcomed
Into his bed.
Uncaring of
What it will cost me.

Why
Am I this way?
*** is Binding
Intertwined unspeakably
Beyond lifetimes
And far past
Our hearts
Own Comprehension.

We mold together
Passion overwhelming
Self destruction
Igniting
With each ******.
Left lingering
For eternity
Between ruin and bliss.

I opened myself
Arms stretched
Welcomed
Into his bed.
Uncaring of
What it will cost me.

Why
Am I this way?
*** is Binding
Intertwined unspeakably
Beyond lifetimes
And far past
Our hearts
Own Comprehension.

We mold together
Passion overwhelming
Self destruction
Igniting
With each ******.
Left lingering
For eternity
Between ruin and bliss.

Put your lips close to mine, as long as they don't touch.
Breathe in me, but cannot see, the wounds that ache so much.

I'll let you linger in my space, lights dimmed so you can't fully see.
In this place I hid, and sins that did, purge the light from me.

Hearts are such a delicate thing, walls built so you can hide.
The side of you, that always knew, this luscious lullabie.

Age sets in and scars collect, imperfections on your skin.
A road map, of gnarled sap, from the spot we all begin.

Reflections always distorted, some how you became so shallow.
As I cried, and echoes confide, I made love to my weeping shadow.

I sit here watching
red lips sipping wine
cheeks  flushed vibrant.

Avoiding lingering eyes
I tried to be
invisible.

I feel out of place
my jeans tight
while these women cling to
cheap dresses.

Running my hands through
my thick dark hair
his eyes catch mine.

I wonder if my
jet black lashes can avoid
anymore tears.

Perhaps his lips
will brush mine
and his weight will
press upon me.

I'll swallow shallow impulse
taking intimacy just to
reek of regret in the morning.

Shame woven into me, to escape the things I've done. In shadow it reminds me, it's a battle that can't be won.

Fingerprints along the walls, that match my very hand. It holds to gently or grips to tight, and lost is the magic sand.

Were where you all that time ago, when I needed strength the most? Now my past self haunts me, like the lingering of a ghost.

Never is there a witch when you need one, to cast a magic spell. Circles drawn and cauldrons bubbled, when I saved myself from hell.

Shame woven into me, to escape the things I've done. In shadow it reminds me, it's a battle that can't be won.

Fingerprints along the walls, that match my very hand. It holds to gently or grips to tight, and lost is the magic sand.

Where were you all that time ago, when I needed strength the most? Now my past self haunts me, like the lingering of a ghost.

Never is there a witch when you need one, to cast a magic spell. Circles drawn and cauldrons bubbled, the day I saved myself from hell.

He wants to point a crooked finger, that's fine I'll take the blame. But when he finally stops to think,  he'll realize the cycle is the same.

Can you love half a person? Who only shows a glimpse of who they are?  Would you move an entire family,  based on a single shooting star?

I used to count the hours, for a conversation I couldn't reach. Yet now he wants to preach, the lack of a fair resignation speech.

It could be laughable really,  if it wasn't so **** sad. I used to believe he was the purest dream, that I ever had.  

I will be the monster, but I see in a clear perspective view. You can feed me all the guilt you want, but I'll just coke on the shards of you.

She's carrying around heartache,
It's tucked deep into her pockets.
It's heavy weight causing her to stumble.

That light up ahead is for her.
But insecurity causes doubt.
Whispering oh so softly her name.

Others fogged perception forces her to scream.

But all they hear is noise.

Not the heart bursting forth.

Not the over flow of sorrow she sometimes can't contain.

The light still shines bright.
All her beautiful soul has to do..

Is pick up her head from her knees,
and empty her pockets.

I saw it twinkling in the night, so I reached up towards the sky. I wanted so badly to catch it in my hands, but the universe wouldn't yet comply.

I thought of words that made my heart skip, but none more then the ones you said. Stars so brightly circle me, possibilities fill my pretty head.

Scattered about so endlessly, astrology beyond what I can see. If I catch this shooting star, maybe fate will leave us be.

It passes by a moon we share, that casts an eerie glow. Mystics relics can't reveal, something our hearts already know.

I close my eyes and catch that star, plucked it from the night. Now I kneel on bended knee, wishing with all my might.

I saw it twinkling in the night, so I reached up towards the sky. I wanted so badly to catch it in my hands, but the universe wouldn't yet comply.

I thought of words that made my heart skip, but none more then the ones you said. Stars so brightly circle me, possibilities fill my pretty head.

Scattered about so endlessly, astrology beyond what I can see. If I catch this shooting star, maybe fate will leave us be.

It passes by a moon we share, that casts an eerie glow. Mystics relics can't reveal, something our hearts already know.

I close my eyes and catch that star, plucked it from the night. Now I Kneel on bended knee, wishing with all my might.

I've folded so slowly into myself.
Tucked emotions into creases,
crinkled corners stained from ink.

Fingertips tingle from the need.
Yet my hands won't gather intent,
my heart just beats,
and I'm here....but I'm not.

I used to bleed through ink,
Now I linger on the edge of verses.
My clockwork heart on the tip of it all.

I buried myself so deeply,
sealed envelopes with no postmark.
Destination void.

I'm not the same person anymore,
sunshine no longer warms me.
Letters go unsent,
remain unopened.

Snakes in the grass.
I inhale my cigarette,
knowing now what signals I missed.
I had hoped for a minute alone,
but he insisted on following me outside.

I glance up and he's watching me,
I wish he'd stop.
My checks flushed from wine,
but I am fully aware.
He is handsome.

He apologizes for kissing me,
causing my head to swim and me to fidget awkwardly.
I thought of someone else at that moment,
setting off a flutter of silent wishes.

I check my phone,
no messages and it's such a reach.
Give a man what he's after,
and he loses interest..
I sigh,
being oblivious must be a side effect of being me.

This mans muttered sentiments go unheard,
I'm only half listening to him now.
Knowing the idea of me,
is much different then having me.
I have no interest,
He's just another snake in the grass.

I've folded so slowly into myself.
Tucked emotions into creases,
crinkled corners stained from ink. 

Fingertips tingle from the need.
Yet my hands won't gather intent,
my heart just beats,
and I'm here,
but I'm not.

I could bleed through ink,
drops settling into words on paper.
Yet now I linger.
My clockwork heart on the tip of it all.

I protect myself so deeply,
blank envelopes with no postmark.
Destination void.

Letters filled with shards of me.
written with hopes,
and invaded by exclamation points.
some letters go unsent,
to remain unopened.

Its nothing I can say, only something I can feel. If only I could wake up and know it isn't real.

I lost it, through my fingers let it slip. Heard and felt it in my heart as it broke away and ripped.

Grief can never be a comfort, as time goes ticking fast. But I know for people like me, happiness doesn't last.

I sit and wait, for this test in life just to finally end. But we know from past lessons learned, that sorrow has no friend.

Stained glass shards glisten on the floor, from the window that was shattered. Words lost that cut the tongue, withheld because it never mattered.

Bare feet that no longer feel, I kneel on glass remains. If only my heart was unbreakable, but the overflow of everything it contains.

I built walls I let down, reluctantly for men who are undeserving. But it seems that heartache, is a lesson I'm always learning.

I'd rather just hear it burst because I'm always muffled sound. I can't keep looking in spite of hope, for something that can't be found.

I broke the window because beautiful, is nothing that is me. Maybe if I wear a mask, I can obstruct the image that is all they ever see.

I'm really good at starting over.

Picking up broken pieces and discovering the light in dark places.

I've got this grasp of hope that never fades. It pulses in my palms and Sparks my fingertips.

Yet still sometimes I resist the urge to hang my head in shame, and admit defeat.

Time grows distant when I count the monsters hiding in the shadows.
Always waiting too consume me.

I dust off volumes of myself tucked into forgotten corners at night.
Insomnia my most unwelcome visitor.

I can find comfort in stillness and solitude.

But sometimes...

I wish someone would hold me.

I remind myself alot these days that

I'm so good at starting over.
I'm so good at watching it all fall apart.

She wears a decorated crown of infinity, and never sheds a wasted tear. When it comes to challenges ahead, she is absent of all fear.

A lion roars in obedience, tamed she rides along his back. Facing what's coming with great fortitude, never once stopping to count what she may lack.

Head held high in determination, for Regret was never a friend. Hands so gentle that with a single touch, she gracefully brings all conflict to an end.

Whispering prayers of gratitude and counting each blessing as they are. A past that won't define her, she casts wishes too a far forgotten star.

Listen to the warning that she heeds, when she appears to you when cursed.  Discover the courage that you misplaced, and have faith in Strength reversed.

He is like the moon I think, while he's fast asleep. Wondering what he's dreaming of, and if he's mine to keep.

I could be his sun, wash away skies of painted grey. Brighten up his essence, if he'd only let me stay.

Counting stars is endless, it goes on into infinite space. When I close my eyes at night, I hope to see his face.

Today I looked for patterns in the clouds, but thoughts of him wouldn't flee. Images form from a far, is he my destiny?

The sun and moon search the skies, for something they had missed.
Turn your face towards that place, where hearts begin eclipse.

It's etched upon my skin, scars I can't unsee. No matter the time that separates past, ugly is what I've come to be.  

Bold fury that once hit its mark, it's now burned into my very being. All the abuse for my own good, something I was to afraid of seeing. 

Worthless was always the word, used to describe who I am. Even to hear it now, truly crumbles who I am. 

Time can ease a lot of things,  but life just wears me down. I can't help the things I think, when he's not around..

I wish I was a hero, who rose to heartfelt glory. But really I'm just broken, and surviving is my life story.

Only one
intrusive memory
and I break.
Tears push forth
and fall
without permission
or warning.
My heart
begins to beat
with this
incurable ache.

It came down to this...

My head to heavy to lift,
my fears to big to face alone.

Tears?
I've plenty.
they spill out of me in over flow,
creating an ocean that would swallow me.
    
I had strength yesterday...

Brick walls stop me.
as they tumble only to crush me.
Why can't I get through to you?

I broke finally.
Thought you'd be happy to hear,
that I fell off my high horse.

Now all that's left of me feels so shattered,
my very essence rides the wind.

Like virtue it doesn't hold,
all of me is tainted.

I tried to tame a Titan, thought my Gypsy soul was all he needs. But it seems in the end, I'm the only human that cuts and bleeds.

I could count on the hand that's left, my long list of regret. But I wish nothing more, then to erase how we both met.

I took off armor and defended, what I wanted for my own. A dream I held close to heart, he was to be my home.

If only you could see me, cutting them down with every blow. But in the end he defeated me, the only one I wished to know.

I lay in a puddle of myself, as he devours my heart. All the while still whispering delusions, of how Fate won't keep us apart.