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4.1k · May 2015
The Unforgettable
Avondale Kendja May 2015
"Applebee" was your name for me, the old one
gone away with the old me.
She stood there, waving to all new lovers.
Never belonged with the times, so unlike a standing tree.
She had no story to tell and was spinning .
An unripe apple, green and hard,
forever to stay hidden under 100 years.

With the appearance of seasoned hands, I
softened; you'd always be there.
You'd say, "Applebee"
I'd say "Willow, willow, willow..."
to reply, to show how I knew I'd slip into a game I'd lose.
Don't hear me, because I feel that we are prehistoric, waiting for our Mother to take us back.
I know we'll never stop, there will be more times like ours.
But I also know we are done whenever we begin.

Gods are forgotten in another hundred years,
but you alone , are different.

You
were just an immortal, neither holy, nor sinner
creature for a angel,
Oak and green pine for a willow,
An elder for a lover,
A beautiful and miserable secret kept between a generational pair
like us.
Avondale Kendja Jun 2015
Beauty is forever parallel to power in this life:
The hungry souls, crying out;
Unfufilled, empty dreams turned sour: I sharpen my knife.

Divide and conquer the spirits the spirits; no given peace in the afterlife.
Give power to the beaten! but mask the drought.
Beauty is forever parallel to power in this life.

Take shame for husband, vanity for wife.
Empty yourselves of such a notion as doubt;
Unfufilled, empty dreams turned sour: I sharpen my knife.


It birthed destruction of a white rose, resentment the midwife.
You and I lost, no surviving the mirrored bout.
Beauty is forever parallel to power in this life.

I try to adhere to your eye with it rife
As ego's pressure on a soul's sacred route;
Unfufilled, empty dreams turned sour: I sharpen my knife.

Under ice and snow my own soul cries, and in strife
It marches against my beauty, of which I am devout.
Beauty is forever parallel to power in this life.
Unfufilled, empty dreams turned sour: I sharpen my knife.
1.1k · Jun 2015
Song of Sisters
Avondale Kendja Jun 2015
It doesn't have to blood
When even blood goes to rot.
It doesn't have to be close,
Since things burn and go sour faster.
IT doesn't have to be clear in face
Because humans bond deeper.
All it really takes are the fibers of connection:
Magic, it makes wonders;
Respect, spirits that co-exist;
And love, where its strength holds it: Unbreakable.

This is the song of Sisters.

We protect this bond to go out
And discover the New World.
We are silken, woven threads in a tapestry.
We tell our own story.

This is the song of Sisters.

Almost soulmates and with our dreams,
We huddle for warmth against the Judgement.

This is the song of Sisters.
1.0k · May 2015
Yoked Feather
Avondale Kendja May 2015
You are not what I want,
I wish you'd stop "loving" me.
How am I supposed to know Love?
She eludes me on her angel wings until
  my branches can reach
  what humans ignore above us.
And I can't blame her.
I wish I could hide, too.

You, with your angst and growing needs;
They aren't forefront in my mind
As I am for you
  A swan at her best,
  A cuckoo at her worst,
And if possible, I'd dazzle all
  with my blue-green plumage.

I wish I was ready;
I can't fly just yet.
1.0k · May 2015
Transfiguration
Avondale Kendja May 2015
Fear is a constant friend for me in this old town,
It numbs, yet excites in the men's old tin drums.
Everything else runs away and hides in the imminent
  twilight.
It keeps us old folk happy, and us young folk safe, even if I'm
anesthetized in street dances.

The love of your life is in that next building, honey, looking over his footprints for the future.
  And if he's not it, live with it. Keep Him happy, so that you're safe.
  Never stop fearing...
Love was never in the cards for any of us;
why would it happen for me? I wasn't any more than us.
A distant longing quenches a soul with doubts for only so long though
...making the white hum and breed black.
  A lone sound amongst the silence with its soul thirsts for what has been hidden.
  There's no sign of true life without something more, bigger than you and us.
  How can there be, when true loss is unpredictable, our founders said.
  It has already been spoken in a prophecy...
    
   Perhaps, for me it is different, what then?
Do you pity me?
  them? I do.

But there's something wrong with the little party I didn't plan, yet didn't cancel.
There were people overseas, beside you and me that have died for what   I have been avoiding. Why?
    Perhaps my own parade needs a little rain,
    or a blazing hellfire to make way for the reality?
The transfiguration I've been dreaming for,
has watched me, and cried for me while I watched the town parade,
riding on my dad's shoulders.

But we have been anointed by the bravery and hope I've dreamed about when I saw us walk away.

We need to leave this ghost town,
where beasts of my blood  roam the streets. Where fear
overtook me and mated
with me in an incestuous ceremony.
  A true joining of true , lost ones
  Created in the beginning to love
  lost their way, found home
  with the one and only
Reason, not to fear....a goodbye.
895 · Nov 2016
Untitled
Avondale Kendja Nov 2016
all the flakes on a *** tattle years
of gas, oil, matches
flames that spread vitriol


they swell into tickles on thin ribs
where old skin will one day ripple like mayo
over water
818 · May 2015
Countdown
Avondale Kendja May 2015
36 hours...
  Hanna called out to her friend Jory at
8:00am
  She walked ther ten year-old brother to school at
9:30am
  Afterschool, she hung out with her multiple friends and rode the train to Central Park,
  She arrived home at
12:00 am
  and her father soundly beat her.
  Understandably.

24 hours...
  Hanna skipped the first two classes and arrived at school at
11:49 am
  She made out with her first boyfriend, Marcus, behind the dark school   stairs during lunch.
  Than, at
1:46 pm
  during Calculus, Angela, her best friend, subtly slipped
  some **** into her knockoff bag.
  At
10:35 pm
  Hanna fell asleep reading Hamlet.

12 hours...
  Hanna found out Angela was in a serious street accident yesterday, but she had made it.
  Yet, she decided no to visit and go to school
  solving Angela's problems for her.

30 minutes...
  Hanna broke up with Marcus and went back to those same stairs to think.

15 minutes...
  She picked herself up, but left behind her knockoff.

2 minutes...
  She decided not to pickup her brother.

Almost...
   There...
      Instantaneously.

Now Hanna exists only in our minds,
only to really live through my mouth.
Where she was last, her toes were bare,
her knees bent.
A classic diver's pose;
arms out.
  A perfect splash, barely caused a ripple.
The audience, a monarch, flitting through and quiet.
776 · Nov 2016
Post Modernity
Avondale Kendja Nov 2016
the stars won’t shine here
and it’s more than some can bear
a whole world mutinied and started living in Clouds
monotony scaled trees until it screened the firmament


yet there’s one left behind with the rot
pondering the theft of good health
the kind that improves the lot
shallow as a bath
672 · Jun 2015
After 100 Years
Avondale Kendja Jun 2015
My heart pushed blood into my head tonight
And I came up with a late epiphany.
I’ve been sleeping in a fairytale
Waiting for my cougar status
With my Prince.
Then I waited for a Man,
Waited for a Boy,
For a Person…

Hello? Anybody? Still here...
I woke up with a Start, blurry Centers
With clear Edges.
****.
I’ve been in love with a dream within a dream,
Not of my own.

But then I thought….How long?
How long do I keep on dreaming, when the moonlight
Peeks through my stained glass, hoping I see?
I don’t need to wait for the stars of Fortune,
look up at Her Wheel.

The dream has ended;
my door opens...
*Time to Wake Up.
634 · Jul 2015
Closure
Avondale Kendja Jul 2015
Trivial things became monstrosities,

and Malice gave birth to gods.

Before I had a chance, my world imploded–a closed off area:

I became helpless and stuck with woolen jealousies.

I only wanted silken bonds–rich, invincible and wanted.

It’s Bethlehem became a legend, like El Dorado:

Whatever it was, it lingered,

purring, full with sustenance with our catch while we starve.

With my limbs longer, and heart bigger,

the hunting  stopped.

I exorcised the false king in its languor;

And the void needed another, like a soul for a soul.

And love, and hope fluttered in, finding home,

like me.

And things grew quiet but safe and full.

We’re moving on.
631 · Jul 2015
Smoke Screen
Avondale Kendja Jul 2015
Can’t be right to hold me back to push me forward
Then or Now.
I was meant to find my own way,
But a perpetual show masked true intentions
I wonder who I could’ve been
If I had bothered to look through us;
I would have been a part of others.
This second feeling: I am petrified with my restlessness,
Which you had caused through fake laughs and white sugar grins
And sophisticated small talk and tags with triple dollar signs.
You seem to be always trying to prove yourself to the right ones.

And I thought I transcended with you.
But now I know and taste the herd’s beguiling call:
I can’t not pity you;
   You’re still stuck in that ****** existence: an old cypress in a world of Oak and Willow.

I also pity myself for my own party of pity.
It seems being on top breaks bonds ruthlessly.
Even now, I’ve forgotten who you really are
And how to love you.
I wonder if you know who you really are.
597 · Jun 2015
Aphid to Fairy
Avondale Kendja Jun 2015
The anger I didn't have has Vulcan's hands;
it forms new bonds, breaks the old
dogma of alienation.
Broke from the shield of the one's who
raised me; love bonds and bands.
  
    It was not quite fear,
   Yet not waiting to take the stage.
   More a self-induced cage
   of denial and artificial bliss.

It was a long time coming, but I'm growing up.
I'm starting to reach the heaven,
Nirvana, true bliss
Olympus, I will sit with the gods  
  born of a vain, mortal mother.
And I'm starting to to realize  that
I am alone, and I will be
happy, whether Time will be by my side.

It is time to deal with the hurts,
and struggles,
and mistakes. This time, they'll be
mine to deal with.

Ignorance is not bliss, not for them,
Not for me,
Anymore.
565 · May 2015
An Affair
Avondale Kendja May 2015
Little "us" beneath the stairs
Passing notes, the other knows not;
Our souls doubt, but our hearts bares
Secret, surreal urges we fought.
No one truly knows how hard we tried and try
Not to hurt the loved with us then.
We aren't  ourselves, addicts of of the high.
"This is too good to stop", our natural zen.
A connection of imperfect spirits; so full of "us"/dust
We forget the lives we have built
With them, the ones we truly trust.
"Us" is just a fainter breeze, yet exhiliarating.
We can't stop, even as reality is fading
499 · May 2015
May 6
Avondale Kendja May 2015
Did he know, when it was too late?
Did he have the cliqued flashbacks
of his life behind his eyes, or
   Did he fly?

If he did, did he see God and all of His angels,
or did he meet Lucifer's delighted grimace?
Did he get a tiny glimpse of that ***** we like to call Fate, if there's such a thing?
Who ever gave him his spirit brutally took it away this day and left behind  Prometheus' signature.

What do we, mere mortals, do with these
  remnants?
They only serve to deny the rest of us the spirit that was born through blood, tears and pain,
   yet absent of trauma.

By June 6, he will be but a memory
  To all but a few.
Through self talks and guidance,
The rest of us revert back to our selves.
But for those few,
  nothing will ever be the same.
464 · May 2015
Helplessness
Avondale Kendja May 2015
Something happened here, before I woke up.
I know that there was more than substance; ruins,
But several bombs over the years have developed and tested me.
And the worst part is I can't remember.

The suffocating dust, bleached bones, and dilapidated buildings
are all that is left of before,
but I don't want to go back in there.
I'll only be reminded of the lost thoughts and misreality.
So I trudge into the the wide void of caked dirt,
hot sand,
and mirages.
To start all over, and no one left from before,
left with complex remorse.

What is the use of survival? Alone and confused
with budding thoughts; unwelcome
What did I do?
459 · Apr 2015
The Costs of Living
Avondale Kendja Apr 2015
Fear turns into habit, and then turns into fear again.
He can't not love him, or anyone, he loves him, for they will talk and crucify him.
She won't stand up for the girl who is ridiculed every day.
They won't speak up, for fear of being treated the same way.
Those kids won't ever speak, because they are trying to survive,
  and it is all an endless cycle
Of fear, deceit, habit and regret.

What happened to the victims of survival?

The person he loved never forgave him, and went away to be happy,
  without him.
The girl was found under the local creek
  because it was too much,
simple.
And the mother ends up underground, buried alive.
  Her voice is gone and it never happened,
a memory.


What is survival when others, and yourself are gone forever?
We end up losing ourselves
  and what truly matter.
We end up alone.
Swimming in regret and pain, while others live.
We could have been happy.
Safer.
The consequences of fear, whether for the victim or "survivor".
442 · Apr 2015
It Ends With A Cycle
Avondale Kendja Apr 2015
You used to hold me in the springtime,
When the flowers bloomed and everything was
  colorful.
We shared scilla bulbs to express what we escaped,
  but now I found out there was a different kind of pain.
You used to hold my hand in the springtime.

It's an endless cycle to shift through the memories
Of your softness and iridescence;
After it rained, I loved to sit and
  watch you mature into brilliance.
You loved to watch me watch you;
Everyday was a performance, and
You used to hold my hand in the springtime.

Frantically, I searched through the unsavory moments
  to find what was missing,
For we wouldn't have parted otherwise.
Of, course, it was all for nothing,
  since you left and took away the flowers.

You used to exist. I used to live.
Now the red, green, and yellow leaves fall.
You left me with no choice
   but to wonder, and wonder, and remember.
Did you ever exist?
This is another obsession themed poem, but it isn't a villanelle.
436 · Nov 2016
Untitled
Avondale Kendja Nov 2016
only me, in midst of all the sea
below a midnight moon
to take on atrophy
424 · Apr 2015
Yes, We Are Perfect
Avondale Kendja Apr 2015
His flesh and her flesh in a volcanic dance
The rest of them, next in line obviously and aware, become a collective watcher;
Perfection, they cannot be next; her left to chance.

They only watched the now, the yellow fog distancing them; perchance
The girl was just a bit older, or had killed the diseased satyr---
His flesh and her flesh in a volcanic dance.

Do it this way, no that way! I did, I did! We did our fruitless prance.
Everything is calm, but it is never, ever over, and it never will be; I am my own hater.
Perfection, they cannot be next; her left to chance.

Nothing really bad ever happens due to his expert use of the whip against our backs and lance
Against the pustules, except I lost who I could’ve been in my life. Later
His flesh and her flesh in a volcanic dance.

It was a love and hate story of our generation’s history, a true romance.
The victor got to change the meaning, the purpose and we became “innocent” bystander---
Perfection, they cannot be next; her left to chance.

They floated in the fog, the young ones. I watched their self-induced trance,
She wasn’t perfect, so of course they didn’t want to be her.
His flesh and her flesh in a volcanic dance.
Perfection, they cannot be next,; her left to chance.
lots of symbolism, hint, hint
411 · May 2015
The Surreal End
Avondale Kendja May 2015
In the next second, one eye closed...
A body was planted
On our street.

We're all so busy, and petty, and in a huge rush.

In a different light, the life turned purple,
and than black.
It stays black, until washed away
  by the same people who take out our
  trash.
It makes me wonder
  Are all of our imminent corpse just garbage
  waiting to be picked up?

— The End —