hazards of deep slumber
you can ask the night plumber
he shall tell you all about
though he has no face
they have no mouth
but you call him when
the night cannot end
he'll be there for you without a doubt
but be careful of what lurks below
down the way and into the hollow
where strangers don't say hello
and world has a different halo
there is a place deep inside
November and Hallow
where peace resides
never knowing morrow
there will be no light
to hurt your eyes
it would be almost like
that you have died
yet alive
so the reaper must have lied
but hazards of deep slumber
are too many to count
far ugly to swallow
but if you can keep the noise down
you can hear what follows
the fading morrow.

I embrace silence
It speaks to me
I close my eyes
They begin to see
I lock myself in
Now I'm free
Awake again
In my dreams


your silence
It speaks to me
There're no wings
Still flies the bird
I know your night
Before it unfurls
For i hear your whisper
When it has no words

She asked me if i was a man,
She couldn't see the monster in the mirror
I was afraid that she'll **** me
So i let her whisper
Her every breath left a mark on my skin,
And i could feel the monster waking within,
Her beautiful eyes on me
Made me sing
A song that made her smile,
In the dark as i softly weep
I caress her,
And watch her fall asleep
I stare at her,
As she bleeds
Where was fate gone,
When we decided to meet



But hey wait,
what if she never wakes,
I'll forever be lost in this night full of scars
Hey wait,
what if i never wake,
Will all the love she had for me ever last
Hey wait,
I've to run away
Before she can see through my mask


When I'm around her i feel so weak,
Just one touch and I'll fall apart
Why can't i make a ****,
It was never this hard
With every hit she withers away,
I can't see in moonlight
She reaches for me,
folds of sheets so white
And i know I'll be lost
For the rest of the night
It feels like heaven
And i have died
She lies on a bed of thorns,
Made it paradise
And i know she can see me,
With her closed eyes


But hey wait,
what if she never wakes,
I'll forever be lost in this night full of scars
Hey wait,
what if i never wake,
Will all the love she had for me ever last
Hey wait,
I've to run away
Before she can see through my mask


She rests in my arms,
I could easily snap her neck
But i know I'll never reach
So i stand back
And i know she's dreaming about me,
But all i am is a nightmare
I know we can never make it now,
there she is, everywhere
Everywhere i see ,
There's this scent she brought with her
She asked me if i was a man,
She couldn't see the monster in the mirror


But hey wait,
what if she never wakes,
I'll forever be lost in this night full of scars
Hey wait,
what if i never wake,
Will all the love she had for me ever last
Hey wait,
I've to run away
Before she can see through my mask
Hey wait,
i don't know what to say
Everything is stained in the shape of her heart

get it out of me
the unsaid thoughts

unwritten letters
to no one

this sinking
feeling

tear it out
from me

the heavy
heart

bury it in
the fire

let it
burn

it will never
love again

i want to hold you, touch you
still believe that you are here
there can be no me without you
how i wish you were still near
so i can breathe you, love you
in my dreams, we'll be somewhere
you don't know how much I've missed you
you were gone but I was still there,
waiting for you, as I have
but i know soon you'll disappear
and i will never have you back
there's so much unsaid,
more than words, more than this world can speak
and as I watch you smile and fade
i see a tale we made that even you can't leave
a moment in time, when she was mine
and I was her
In every whisper, as I see it wither
another winter to show us a mirror
so I can see all of our scars,
who we are, who we once were
it has always been like this, we only lost our heart
now i cannot be with you again,
and you are so far
come back and haunt me again
take me back, take me to the start
so we can fall in love once again
I will die a thousand times then to be apart,
for she's waiting to be loved,
and I've never loved anyone more

There's no respite for these eyes
They've seen enough to be blind
And i cant see through her lies
Thoughts of her plagues my mind

She stares at me like I'm not here
Can she really see through me
And behaves like I'm every-where
Where does she wants me to be

I let go of her with a promise to be back
And she lets go of me without a tear
Maybe she doesn't wants me to be back
My every word is lost , she didn't hear

Everynight she weeps for no reason
And every morning she's like a stone
Sometimes i feel like her body is here
But her soul has gone, moved-on

What is that she wants that i can't give
I gave her all that there is to give
My every breath was just for her
Her every mistake i did forgive

Than why is she still so dead to me
Am i not the one to give her this life
Why is that whenever i close in for a kiss
She pretends to be looking the otherside

Everyone envy her because of me
Than why is that she doesn't even care
I laid before her every sweet dream
Than why is she still living a nightmare

I scream at her lifeless eyes
'just tell me what do i need to do to break this curse'
She just looks down for a moment
Her eyes finally drops a tear and she looks above

Her lips whisper
Eyes curse
'love'

here I am
ugly and weak
old and rotten
forgotten in my sleep
dreams are just whispers
nothing more than lies
darkness of the world
hidden in closed eyes
sometimes I find my pain
sometimes I scream a name
night after night I mourn the same

here I am
breathing the cold
as I numb my skin
there's a fire raging within
ashes fill my veins
and tears kiss my lips
as I wither in the thought of you being in arms of his

here I am
like I have always been
and there you are
a beautiful dream
sometimes I drown
sometimes I remember
you were here once
now it's another November
before the dead of December
bring me back to life

here I am
walking in circles
and seeking in the mirrors
of what fades with time
disappearing with all that was mine
no reflection shows your face
soon there will be no trace
of the place that rests just beyond the pines

here I am
still holding on to the pieces
as they cut me and scare me
and as I bleed the last of my emptiness
you will never find me

here
I am
there
I was
lost.

you were the one
now you are just someone
you were the one I was waiting for
now I've given up trying
and I know that you don't mind
maybe it's time for me to let you go
but I don't know if I can
there's a lot I don't understand
what were you waiting for
there's nothing but this hurt
you weren't even in love
and I can't take it anymore

so that's what you get
only regrets
you should have kept your Promise
but you let it through

I hope I forget
every trace of your scent
I am descending in madness
here without you



you were there
now you have disappeared
and I can't see through this smoke
I wonder if I cared
when you were still here
now every thought pains and choke
I loved you so much
now I know there is no thing as such
I guess you must have always known
there's nothing left to say
you don't have to stay
I know how it feels to be left so alone


so that's what you get
only regrets
you should have kept your Promise
but you let it through

I hope I forget
every trace of your scent
I am descending in madness
here without you
so in love with you

Sweet little innocent blue eyes
Wanna know what they hide
Hey cat-kitty-kat-doll
Wanna come down and forget it all
Look in my hand
There's a magic wand
Wanna play with it
And build castle in the sand
Crooked-cold-scary-crazy-old-man
Walked with a cane in his right hand
Wicked smile and pocket full of candies
Tonight was in her dreams again
Cruel-dark-sick-black-world
Wanna know what you did with her
For a candy she lost her smile
And you gave her demons before her time
She was small and could barely speak
One little candy all she seek
And you gave her a nightmare before her time
made a face and said its just another crime
Sweet little innocent blue eyes
Wanna know what they hide
Hey cat-kitty-kat-doll
Maybe one day she can forget it all

Hey pretty girl , what's your story ?
Whats up with the tears that trickles down slowly?
Was pop an addict
Came home drunk late at nights
Beat momma and touched you
Is that whats hidden in your fright
And there was no one
That could help and make it stop
You were just saving momma
The knife in your hand was at fault
And Maybe momma was depressed
Sitting all day by the tv
Watching nothing at all
Staring at the blank screen
Lost in thoughts till nightfall
You just wanted to end her misery
You couldn't live with yourself Knowing she was gone
Waiting for death quietly
You ended that pain , favour or not
But the world did not understand
All those battles Couldn't be fought
She was handcuffed and shamed
And proved guilty in the court
To be hanged till death
Was the verdict on the note
They prayed for her soul
And hoped she would rot
On the day of her calling
The world waited and watched
Prayers were sold
And hatred was bought
As a pretty young girl
Made her way to the noose
The crowd roared in cheer
And smiles were induced
She died hanging
With all the fright in her heart
Hey pretty girl , what's you story ?
No one ever asked..

Hey you, keep looking but I won't say a word
For you , i'll open up and you can see all the hurt
Every scar , that runs down till the end corner of the world
And the gun-shot wound that killed the lonely bird
Not our fault but it will always be our mistake to keep
Hush now, pretty child you don't have to weep
Come now , its been a while and I know you want to sleep
Come here , lie on this bed of thornes and let it cut you deep
I always wondered but now I have no reason to dream
Because now I know nothing is as it seems
Walking out of close doors into different realms
Always afraid to wander where i've never been
You only touch me where my scars run the deepest
And now i'm even more afraid to hold your hands
I've been away for a while and I need to rest
I hope with every word that I don't say you will understand
Maybe silence will teach you what my words could not
May the preacher be truth and ever so wise
The ink will fade away in the end and the pages will rot
You can paint over the ugly parts will all your lies
Hey you , we've been talking from ages now
But I still don't know who you are or whats your name
Now you , all you need is to turn around
Face me and tell me every word of your pain
I need to know what makes us what we are
You've always been the one to listen to your heart
I need to know what makes us the same
You and me , we are a thousand miles apart
But I can still see you in every mirror on the wall
You can stand on all you want but you'll still fall
Into this nightmare that will strangle your thoughts
One bad seed and you will have to burn them all
I've been waiting and thats the only thing that I remember
It feels like i've been here with you forever
And I still don't know the colour of your eyes
Every word had always been spoken together
And now i have no clue what's there on your lips
Just smoke and haze that hides your face
I've forgotten the last time I saw through the mist
A song that plays over and over like a maze  
Hey you , can you still look out of the window
Can you still witness the world pass us by
Do you , still dream about the quiet meadow
I can see the the light slowly leaving your eyes
Will you too , leave me alone now that you're lost
Or will you , find me again when i'm about to leave
The time has decayed and now I know what you're not
I can see you more clearly and I know you're not me
Hey you, keep looking but I won't say a word
For you , i'll open up and you can see all the hurt
Every scar , that runs down till the end corner of the world
And the gun-shot wound that killed the lonely bird

Will hurt no-more.

"come here ****** , sit with us"
As I walked away from those eyes
"whats the matter , we'll show you love"
I knew , nothing but lies

I was the funny one , the clown
"look he's coming , lets push him down"
They laughed at me when I was hurt
"you're so funny mate , now turn around"

"hey you , you look like a girl"
They used to scream at me
"oh he's crying , so much hurt"
But still they couldnt see

"come here stupid , now entertain"
i'm so tired Please , not again
"we'll beat you stupid *******"
i've to play their sadistic game again

On my way home their was no respite
"look how he walks , left and right"
They stared at me like an animal
Do you know how it feels to live your every moment in fright

Afraid of everything that touches you
Everything that goes by
Can't stop no matter what you do
Every wish and dream is to die

"child , why are you so different?"
Always asked my folks
"cant you act normal for a moment"
"is this your idea of a joke?"

"child , why don't you speak much"
At the dinner table they always spoke
" maybe we should send him to a boarding school"
Yeah , like that would've stopped the world from being an *******

"look at his wrists , he has done it again"
As they gathered around me in a choke hold
"did it pain, now do it again"
Or we'll tell your dad and he'll scold

Yelled the teacher infront of them
"fool , get out of the class , you're disturbing everyone"
He could'nt see they were poking me with a pen
And my hair was full of gum

"your kid is a ******"
Whispered the man in the office to my dad
"take away his guitar"
He's listening to rock and thats too bad

"I bet he takes drugs"
"is he into satan?"
"your child is cursed"
He talked without a curtain

"you , I curse the day you were born"
The only thing I had always known
The last ounce of sanity in me
Departed , Now finally gone

I was dying but now I was dead
A new persona began to form
As the last bullet pierced my head
The old one was long gone

The new one wasn't the nice one
All he had was anger and rage
All he had was hatred for everyone
Now it was his time to play

His lips parted and he whispered to the world
"man ,finally i'm 'gonna have some fun"
His heart full of hatred , ready to tame the world
With a sick smile he picked up his shiny gun


another columbine had begun..

A hollow heart bleeds
Nothingness and pain
To be swallowed deep
And fall like the rain

And empty vase of life
Holds onto the dead leaves
Somewhere in the depth
To be buried down and deep  

Made into a seed
Of the corpses and the cold
With tales and sorrows
And a thousand scars untold

To be made a rotten tree
With rotten fruits and stars
To stand alone in disguise
Bare, with a poisoned heart

Branches span till the moon
Beyond the clouds and sky
In the depth of hollow space
Where the dark meets the eye

To feed shade to the night
In shadows and reflections
Breathe in the cold abyss
That hides in every direction

Waiting for a bleeding heart
To make his way across
And sleep in his chamber
To be made a ghost when lost

And rise above the mountains
To meet the azure up high
Of demons and questions
And answers made in lies

To be stretched in emptiness
Far beyond the ruins of a man
Asleep within clouds of darkness
And forever be cursed and ******  

A hollow heart bleeds
Nothingness and pain
To be swallowed deep
And fall like the rain

Woke up to the sunrise, my heart still craves the night
Drowning in an ocean of misery, escaping the bright lights
The demon inside has won, I've given up any hope to fight
If I'm going down this path, i might just enjoy the ride

In this silence, over-grown sense of hatred consumes my soul
I wait for the end, trying to figure out a way to end it all
I could never figure out, what does it takes to make you whole
And maybe i was just holding back, i was always destined to fall

__________

"hey, mom do you have to go to work today?"
-sorry sweetie, i have to rush and i guess I'll be late
"seriously, i thought we'll spend some time together, we talked about it yesterday"
-i know, but it's important, maybe next Sunday?
"it's alright, nevermind anyway"
-you know how much i love you, don't you ?
"yes, i know mom, be back soon, I have a surprise for you today"
-I'll be back as soon as i can, ok sweetie?
"alright, I'll wait for you like always"

*door closes


_________

Alone with my thoughts, emotions explodes in silence
Mind in chaos, every approaching moment is violent
Angst and despair spreads neatly all across the floor
Eyes are closed and i think i can't take it anymore

It's not so easy to die, every moment I'm hoping for a miracle
Someone or something to pull me back from my doom
But i guess, world has ignored my pleas again
And i can't let go of these morbid thoughts approaching like winters gloom


_________

"hey, Todd do you have a second, i just need to talk"
-yeah, mate what is it ?
"i don't feel good, can you come over or not ?"
-man, I'm with this *******, we're out on a walk
"oh, haha alright, have fun, catch you later"
- I'll tell you all about it. god, this chick is so hot!
"haha alright, catch you later"

you can talk to my Corpse

_____________________________

Can they really not hear the fear in your voice ?
You try so hard to get out, but they leave you no choice
Maybe when they find you're gone, they'll make some noise
Will they feel responsible, for they couldn't keep you from being destroyed

I walk away from these walls of my so called home
I think it's better if i go away and do this alone
Friends, family, they'll make an excuse that they didn't knew
He was such a good kid, just a little bit confused


_____________________________


-young man, what are you doing alone in this park?
"none of your business, leave me alone"
-you shouldn't wander alone in these lonely parts
"i don't need you to tell me what to do, it's not even after dark"
- are you searching for someone, there's no one out far
"no, i just want to be alone, if it's too much to ASK!"
- come here, have a seat, don't be afraid i won't hurt you
"hahah, do you really think I'm scared of you?"
-no, but i think you need someone to talk to
"no, I'm better off alone, sorry but i don't need you"
-wait, young fellow, just hear me out?
"does it matter, you have no clue what it's all about"
- no harm in letting it all out, for you and me are the same
"are we really, you don't seem to be in pain !"
- i was, a long time ago, just like you i was cold
"hmmm, stay away from strangers, that's what i was always told"
-I'm not a stranger, I'm just the older self of you
"wait, slow down old man, you're just making me confused"
-I'm here to tell you what you'll miss if you don't turn around
"what? How do you know i was about..."
- i know how you feel, like everything is going down
"hey, wait a minute......."
-but I'm here to tell you, one day you'll be found  
"but, it feels like that day will never come "
-just look at you, what you've become
"i can't stop it, it has already begun"
-there will be no escape,no matter how far you run
"..........."
-it will be better, i swear, one day you'll find that someone
" i don't think i ever will "
-you're too young, I'm old and i can tell you i did
"but we're not the same........"
-yes, we are
"hey, wait where're you going, what's your name?"
-if you decide to turn around, I'll meet you tomorrow here again
"what makes you so sure, my thoughts will change"
-i don't know for sure, but i would really like to meet you again..

walks back home


later in the night



"hey, what's up todd?"
-oh man, remember about that chick, the one hot?
"yeah, what's up with her"
-turns out she has even a hotter sister
"hmmmm"
-she wants to meet you, i showed her your picture
"what the hell?"
-yeah mate, she wants to meet you tomorrow at the cafe, about twelve
"woah, ah well...."
-just shut up, you thought i would just leave you behind
".........."
-we're friends mate, sorry i couldn't talk earlier, i was fixing your date at that time
"hmmm, it's alright"
-ok mate, good night
"night, night"



even later


"hey, mom look i made you some dinner"
- oh baby, what a sweet surprise
"mom, why do you have tear in your eyes?"
-it's nothing, i felt bad about going to work today
"don't worry mom, it's okay"
-no, it's not, so i took tomorrow off
"eh, why?"
-well, i planned something, just you and me, up for it or not?







__________

-so, young man you made it
"yeah, guess i did"
-there will be more like me down the road
"hmm, what your name, old man?
-well,my friends call me hope.

Tim wasn't the only one infected,
But he was the only one who wasn't turning into a duck.
It had been more than two years of horror,
And almost every part of the world had been struck.

This new disease was carried through the shiny electronic devices,
That had gripped the world in a photogenic way.
Every wall and post reeked of the self centeredness,
And all that led to this last man standing scenario today.

Tim was resisting his fate by throwing away all the devices he could find,
But his hope was slowly degrading, as they were scattered everywhere.
He was experiencing what scientists called as a celebrity syndrome,
The last stage before he would give in, it was almost too hard to bear.

His soul was being crushed within his hundred dollar shirt,
But he was far more inclined to break the mirror in front of his eyes.
The disease was spreading through his arms and hands now,
And in sometime there would be no place left to hide.

Everyone at his school had turned into a duck the other day,
He had seen it from his own eyes, as all his friends got stuck on the web.
Scientists were baffled how it spread impervious of one's religion or faith,
They said the only part recognizable after the infection spreads is the head.

He found his moms name last night too, posted on the wall of lost people.
Tim could only rub his eyes, she was only fifty -five.
He had no clue of what to do, he was already feeling so miserable,
His father had already died, lost sister at twenty-five.

Tim was growing restless by the second, wrestling with his own arms,
But it was too much to handle and finally his hands got free,
He flashed the electronic device at the mirror, it felt warm,
And that's how Tim became the last casualty on earth to catch a selfie.

I stand watching as you keep walking on
The last drop has been bled and now i'm all alone
What little hope I had you took it along
And now even the stars in the dark sky are gone



Hurt me once more O' you cruel wicked world
Take me to the memories i've never been
Make an ocean from my tears and blood
A dark and cold abyss that i've never seen
Drown me in my own nightmares , ignore me once more
Take that last piece of my sanity and ignite me 'cause I'm so cold
Let your fire make me want to wish that I was never born
Make me feel all your pain that no one has ever known
Its still not enough , every fall that you've shown
My eyes are still closed and they won't mourn
Open them for me , so I can be blind again
Take me with you and away into the unknown
Let the lingering dream finally be buried
And now is the time to lead me to the unmarked grave
I've to reach home soon , mama will be worried
Give this heart of stone what it craves , more mistakes.




Show me the way to myself , a road never walked upon
Let the strangers strangle me along the way
Burning with rage , a seed that i've sown
Let me walk back to my demise and be on my own
Burn my skin with every lonely breath I take
Creating reality that we never wanted to make
Now what have I , an endless nightmare that I made
Fed it all my hurt and now it's ready to take my place
Hurt me again O' you cruel wicked world
It has been so long that I can't even remember my face
Bury me once more in your dark and dirt
**** me for I never want to escape from this maze
Spill my blood and paint it all across the walls
Tell them my story , tell them I was never lost
Now take my hand and let me fade once and for all
Walk me to the edge of myself and just let me fall.





Let my tears sing for the rest of the lonely world
Make them see through my every hollow word
Let them be one with all the pain and despair  
Make them see what I couldn't in my hurt
Let me be the road to guide them back home
The warm shadow that won't ever leave them alone
The face in the mirror when everyone else is gone
Let me be the one for whom they would all mourn
Let a song be heard from the depth of my grave
And let the stars be found again in the approaching sunrise
For every lost Soul trapped inside the dark maze
Make them remember that we'll always have the sky
Hurt me once more O' you cruel wicked world
make this ocean of dread rage with all that's left alive  
Burn me down with all your wrath and fury
And watch me with dismay as I slowly come back to life






Hurt me once more O' you cruel wicked world



Hurt.

I stand watching as you keep walking
on
The last drop has been bled and now
i'm all alone
What little hope I had you took it
along
And now even the stars in the dark
sky are gone



Hurt me once more O' you cruel
wicked world
Take me to the memories i've never
been
Make an ocean from my tears
and blood
A dark and cold abyss that i've never
seen
Drown me in my own nightmares
ignore me once more
Take that last piece of my sanity and
ignite me 'cause I'm so cold
Let your fire make me want to wish
that I was never born
Make me feel all your pain that
no one has ever known
Its still not enough , every fall that
you've shown
My eyes are still closed and they
won't mourn
Open them for me , so I can be blind
again
Take me with you and away into
the unknown
Let the lingering dream finally
be buried
And now is the time to lead me to the
unmarked grave
I've to reach home soon , mama will be
worried
Give this heart of stone what it craves
and what you made



Show me the way to myself , a road
never walked upon
Let the strangers strangle me along
the way
Burning with rage , a seed that i've
sown
Let me walk back to my demise and
be on my own
Burn my skin with every lonely breath
I take
Creating reality that we never wanted
to make
Now what have I , an endless
nightmare that I made
Fed it all my hurt and now it's ready
to take my place
Hurt me again O' you cruel wicked
world
It has been so long that I can't even
remember my face
Bury me once more in your dark and
dirt
**** me for I never want to escape
from this maze
Spill my blood and paint it all across the
walls
Tell them my story , tell them I was
never lost
Now take my hand and let me fade once and
for all
Walk me to the edge of myself and
just let me fall





Let my tears sing for the rest of the
lonely world
Make them see through my every
hollow word
Let them be one with all the pain and
despair  
Make them see what I couldn't in my
hurt
Let me be the road to guide them
back home
The warm shadow that won't ever
leave them
alone
The face in the mirror when everyone
else
is gone
Let me be the one for whom they
would all mourn
Let a song be heard from the depth of
my grave
And let the stars be found again in the
approaching sunrise
For every lost Soul trapped inside
the dark maze
Make them remember that we'll
always
have the sky
Hurt me once more O' you cruel wicked world
make this ocean of dread rage with all
that's left alive  
Burn me down with all your wrath
and fury
And watch me with dismay
as I slowly
come back to life


Hurt me once more O' you cruel wicked world

*Hurt

if I tell you that i love you
will everything be the same
if i tell you I need you
will you ever hold me again
if I tell you I dream about you
will you still call me every night
if I tell you , all I do is think about you
will you still let me hold you tight

What if there was more
Than we accepted there to be
What if , we are something more
Than we want us to be

What if we could carry our past
And mold it in something new
Create a place for us
Just for me and you

Where do the lines blur
When do we cross over
Even if love was there all along
Can we just start over ?

If I tell you I want you
Will you ever meet me again
If I tell you , it hurts too much
Will you take away the pain

What if , we started all wrong
Mistook the way we felt
Is it ok to be happy from
just what you get

If I tell you that I want to be with you
Will you go away
If I tell you , i can't even breath without you
Will you stay

If I tell you I've got nothing else to say
And I won't say a word
My feelings , you'll never hear
Because to lose you
Is something I can't bear
But sometimes I wonder
How beautiful it would be
If I told you
And you'd still be here

.





people live inside me
and they talk

i close my eyes
so they don't find me

i don't know where
to hide me

but it's just me
in this box

and they hear
my every thought

i don't think
they like me

if i get too close
they bite me

i don't know how
to fight me

can you make
it stop ?

**** me





.

It's hard to say but no one's gonna' learn a danm thing anyway,
So let's pretend it's all a funny joke and it'll all go away
But hey, wait a minute listen to me, I want you to er...stay,
Well, it's tough talking to yourself and no one really ever comes my way
But I'll love to have a fight, get me some insight
How the alpha male reacts and I have no solid facts
In-fact I just got some emotions out of devotions sittin' on a dynamite
Of brutal almost mutual satisfaction we have when we diss somebody,
Maybe it's just me but I think everybody shares beef with somebody,
I like them kinda rare, them ***** and **** bare
Yeah, give them religious folks a *******' nightmare
But I don't really care if you wanna shoot me down with god,
I'll just pretend you just said something that rhymes with hot-dog,
Oh my god, never really got that catch-phrase,
And every-time I hear a girl screaming Jesus Christ,
While ridin' on my stick, well.. It's big I have nothing to hide
But back to the case, I always wonder.. What would joseph do,
I mean it could be anyone, me, your momma, or you
is that even a sin, Is there a place for them in hell
Dear, pope please do tell
that pointy hat is dope though,
Too bad I couldn't give a less **** about how many *** scandal you repel,
I always had an inclination to profanity, sort of mind alteration to reality
But quite frankly, I'm down making fun of myself
I guess it's just another opportunity to scream for help,
Hell, I don't know what I'm gonna' do, maybe call an attorney and sue
Here's a riddle to give you a *******,
What's red and not blue,
If you Ever find the answer bid your brains adieu.


I don't know what to say but this is a ****** tragedy
We're in a cage, trapped, we can never be what we want to be
Tuned into the the wonder-land, creating their own symphony,
They say we're the mad-men, always painting the world in a fantasy.
I don't know if they understand but dreams alter reality
Grabbed by both hands, too late to let go of this opportunity
Don't quit even though it's over, spill it in graffiti
To let the whole world know you don't give up so easily.


See, what I did there ?
Made it look like I did care, threw in some motivation crap,
It's just a trap, I swear
I talk so low about myself, sometimes I often forget I exist
But it kills me inside sometimes when I realize but I still can't resist
To diss and admit that I'm much better than so many of you and I'm so ashamed of it
It's like my ***** and your ****** just somehow never agrees to fit
I mean I'm just here typing away random **** and it'll still be better,
Then most awesome of your hits..
But.. I get it
People are so easy to offend and there's no way around it
So c'mon now, I know ya'll just waiting to pounce
And renounce everything I laid on the table,
I'm sorry I'm just highly unstable, give me my mental certificate
And put on a label that shows of I'm disabled,
Some of you must be goin' .. Ooo that's no thing to joke about,
Enough with your rants, my future kids won't like the way you shout and..
'People suffer from real mental disorders in the real world'
But hey... I have a problem too.. You know.. I hit my head and..
'STOP IT, in the name of the lord I command you..'
Please do
whatever you want, all I am saying is I have a real problem too...
'That's it, you're goin' to hell kid, you blasphemous pig"
.
.
Aight, that was uncalled for, I could have made a better metaphor
But I can't help it, could only find baby syrup in the medical score store,
And it's kinda cold though, I have a super cute android and she likes to blow..
And dry clean my house for me, I am a rich dude
I can afford totally afford a robot, I know it sounds rude
But it's six in the morning and I haven't slept all night
And I wasn't even mastrubating (Christian sin strike # -1)
It was fun just smokin' stuff and just hallucinating,
And suddenly there was a loud bang and it started raining,
.... ***** and more ***** and some wine,  it's basically ***** but whatever nevermind,
As long as you don't understand what I'm writing about,
I guess you'll be fine.



I don't know what to say but this is a ****** tragedy
We're in a cage, trapped, we can never be what we want to be
Tuned into the the wonder-land, creating their own symphony,
They say we're the mad-men, always painting the world in a fantasy.
I don't know if they understand but dreams alter reality
Grabbed by both hands, too late to let go of this opportunity
Don't quit even though it's over, spill it in graffiti
To let the whole world know you don't give up so easily.



See, what I did there ?
I made a long write even longer
and your patience to deal with inevitable even stronger
And you know how they day what can't **** you, make you stronger
Well, I'm afraid to break it down to you, it's a lie
I once saw a man being attacked by a wild cat and he survived,
Lost 5 fingers, one toe, half a ****, and  two eyes,
Kanye west, who the hell were you talking about ?
Something that doesn't kills you, makes you one step close to die
Hello, i mean you are just all ready to say good-bye
And things flash before your eyes and you regain your strength and you fight
And people are so glad that you made it out alive
It's just so Hollywood and has such a good vibe
But that's now how it happens, things get cut off
I know I'm over steppin', but I'm just a pessimist
Every time someone disobeys me, I cut my wrists
I throw tantrums now and then, just one rich spoil kid
Banging girls and what not, DON'T ENVY ME, I didn't ******' asked for it,
Your god have it to me. :)

















See what I did there ?
I just left it intentionally blank, I have to admire you though
How come you always express yourself so bland?
I mean do you assign dumb people to do your job and make a plan
What is it, what's the secret of your stupid expression
I need to *******' understand, how can so much ******* come from two boney hands ?
It's real stupid when everyone writes the same thing everyday
Man, just do away with ponies, and throw in some hints of grey
That's what I do and it kinda makes me look so serious and great
aight, you need to stop whatever that you're doing and meditate
Absorb every stupid thing you can feel in your environment and just radiate,
Then slowly lift your arms and strangle yourself to death,
Don't ******' retaliate.
That's how I feel when I go through those thoughts of yours,
Yeah bite me, get on all fours, like the ***** you are and facilitate
I know I'm being too hard but I'm on drugs and a broken heart,
Got these scars, made out with a stripper and kinda got too far
But apart from these little matters of faith and religion,
I don't think she had a problem with me until I did that part,
I guess it's never too easy to pull of a stunt in a sixty mine position,
When you're three feet too long and sixty mile too fast in a car.
I think that did it for me, i got a sense of reality and enough of free **** and virtuality,
Oh, it's just me and my humanity, fighting over who get's the opportunity
To point out similarities between you and the kid who lived down the lane,
Really old-school, liked them butterflies and everything vain
I mean I can do this over and over again, till I hit the sweet spot
Right between your thighs and send a message to your brain
.
.
I don't give a ****,
Never have and never will
There's so much space in my shoes
That you can never fill
You can walk in them sure
But it'll make you look like an idiot,
You ****
End of the story
PERIOD.

my hurt has a sinister ire
fire burning what had been sane
ashes and dust make a sapphire
I still feel the same again
****** my every desire
so I can only know the pain
more corpses on streets to hire
I am just one of the strange

i had something but no words to speak
all I could see was who left and came
in all of those lies I once let breed
i somewhere forgot my own name


i have died years ago but I am still awake
my heart is lost but I still hear my soul
I wouldn't know the monsters I have made
but I know the secrets I never told
by a lonely corner where I would wait
breathing more despair and cold
you wouldn't know how many scars it takes
to not remember who you are anymore

I'm not 'gonna talk about suicide because it's a ****** thing to do
I know life is pretty hard as it is but again I won't put the blame on you

I know you're not stupid, maybe I am
I scream at you so much but you just don't understand
What is your reason, oh you sad sad man
I know you're not a coward but again I know you can't take a stand

They told me that I was wierd and in the mirror they could see a creep
I put it all on myself and with bleeding wrists I did weep
And than I took a noose and made sure it wasn't loose
Never bothered with a suicide note, I was struck with blues
And than I died with not a tear in my eyes,
I left every moment just lurking beneath the sky
And than I met God and he told me that I was stupid
And I told him he was the one who burned me with a cupid

And he told me that he had planned for so much more
And I told him why did he not tell me all this before

And he told me, oh child you couldn't see through your blues
So give me all your pain now and i'll put the crown of blame on you

"you're no fool but again you were never wise ,
Bad things happen to good people and that was the reason of your demise"

"and if you had waited till sunrise you could have seen the smoke clear
Couldn't you just watch breaking bad and all that **** and waited a few years my dear"

-but god, all I did was to just die, what's all the fuss about, that I didn't try ?
I tried but I failed and than I failed again without even trying,
My life was nothing but a joke and the world around me was dying

Enough screamed the god " I am god   and I crown you as a fool, I don't need a reason, I have all the universe to rule,
I don't have to argue with you punk, oh you emo kids think you're all so cool!"

"i'll make sure you're never re-born again , i'll put it up with my crew"


-what did I do to desreve this wrath of yours,  you never lent me a blanket when I was feeling cold,
'he will help you' 'he's always here for you', I was always told ,
But now I can see you are not what you were , man look at those wrinkles you've grown old

Shut up for godsake screamed the god

-you raised me in a broken home, dad was drunk, mamma a *****
I was ***** when I was four, do I need say more?
Where were you when I was popping those pills,
When daddy died and mamma didn't come home still,
I had to work my *** off when I was six to pay the bills
And I knew my chances of making out were nil

-in short it was going perfectly fine and I took that as a good sign,
And than you introduced me to a girl out of the blues
I knew than I was in love but I tried so hard(failed) to refuse
But you had to show you're 'godness' ,now didn't you?
Why did you land me a better job, who told you to?
Made me think I was a better man when I was with her,
And I could see a smile forming when I  looked in the mirror.


Are you done yet ?


-and than BOOM! , OUT OF NOWHERE you had to give her that stupid silver screen cancer,
Doctors have her two years to live but in only 2 months something killed her!


-now tell me god , what more did you had in store for me ?








God: "are you marilyn Lucas?, I have a feeling that I may be wrong"









- err, no I'm jack bundy, what the **** is going on?









"oh, i'm so sorry, it seems like my crew made a big mistake,
You can collect your token from the stands and proceed to the heavens gates"








"what ? , was it all a test ? "










"Hahah, this one is on the house"






Awkward silence





*to the crew,
"we 'gotta stop the suicides, it's becoming too confusing,
Who goes to heaven, who goes to hell ,  it's very time consuming"




I told you I wasn't 'gonna talk about suicide because it's a ****** thing to do

I'm done being human,
I don't like the places it leads
All those hidden emotions
That I just can't seem to reach
The saints hung on the cross
And all he ever does is preach
The air is full of holy words
In this smoke I can't even breathe



Take my hand now,
And lead me to my grave
I don't need your love
For i've seen you hate



Why am I talking to you,
You've never seen my nightmare
All my sins I hurl upon you
And silence is all you can hear
In the crowd I feel more alone,
Even though you're everywhere
tomorrow i'll be gone,
But you'll always be right here



Every breath that escapes me,
Is a smile in your eyes
You want to show me the truth
When all you have are lies




What of these sweet dreams,
And the lullabies that haunt
Why are you still here
What is that you want
I've given you everything
Yet, You still seek more
Why did I ever embrace you,
What was it all worth for



Will you hunt me down,
Now that I don't belong
And take away my crown
If I don't come along



Every blade that kiss my skin,
Will be in your name
As the scar travels within
It will remind you of pain
You watch me fall apart,
Don't even bother to pull out your knife
You squeeze my bleeding heart
And ask me, what i've done with my life



As I embrace the other side,
You whisper in my disgrace
You broke every mirror
Now you want to scar my face




I'm not what I was,
Something inside changed
I was born human
But i'll never be one of you again
If that's what it takes,
i'll scar myself with a smile
You're not awake,
Hav'nt seen the devil in a while




You will fear once again,
Of the ghost you so made
When i'm done with you
Every colour will fade




As I rip open your Soul,
Stare deep in your eyes
Remember you're the evil
I was made from your lies
As I make my way to your heart,
My claws will hurt no more
Can you not see in the dark,
Where you enslaved me for ever-more





I won't even hear you scream,
For i'll be lost in your demise
As the blade brings down the wrath
You'll see the human in my eyes








And i'll see the human in yours

so immersed was I
in my dreams
I forgot that the sky
was perhaps more empty
than full of my being
that clouds weren't real
my fingers scarring through them
and when the sun woke
I was sleeping still then
to be made in the dark
in the moonlight when
I was not there yet
but I was afraid of them
every whisper I could not hear
the rain I could not bear
falling from an empty sky
full of stars
from am endless horizon
painted with scars
and I remember watching
the mountain crumble
I remember walking
in a boundless december
tasting the winds of winter
echoing the last summer
when I was not cold
when I was still who I was
the man in the mirror
only a child without life
on the edge and alive
now I let go
of everything
with every melancholic breath
and now I realize
perhaps it was all
in my head
every door and wall
every tear that falls
I wish someday I can forget
what I never came to know
as they put me to rest
it was all in my head
they were all inside my head