Sometimes I see
The world in black and white,
Whether I'm relaxing in my bed,
Playing Minecraft,
Or running a mile.

Trying to get biology
OUT of my head!

I'm guessing that I've grown horns!
I'm guessing I'm human no more!
But I'm sorry,
I needed a break.
I needed to say:
I'm over this thing called, school!

I want to go home.
I want to stay there.
I want to not finish my homework.
I want to live my life free
From the eternal chains
Of torment and classrooms,
Filled with books,
More than I could ever read.

Please let me out,
I'm willing to take a leap.
I'm willing to take a risk.
Please let me have a break,
My brain feels as though it might break.

I am laying on the ground
staring up at the ceiling,
nothing left to try for.

I lay in this dark room,
for so long,
trying to get the feeling of feeling nothing.
What some consider death,
I consider heaven.

Then I hear footsteps and the door
opens
and the light floods in
and it's my mom
and she yells "clean your room!"
but all I wanna do is
wipe,
wipe,
wipe myself off of the Earth.
But can I say that? No.
So, I just say "I'm tired."
But she doesn't know what that means.
For I am not tired and want to sleep,
like in the sense of fatigue.
no, no-no
I'm tired of living and life.
And the action of walking,
talking,
and moving.

For what you consider
death,
I consider heaven.

"What you did to me is unheard of. Unspeakable. You are repulsive. Goodbye."
I can't deal with you no more.
You were my best friend.
Called me a b** and h and so, so much more.
At this point,
if you don't know those two words,
then you haven't been in this sort of situation.
He was my best friend.
My best friend.
It's still burned in the back of my mind.

Surprising,
isn't it,
when the person you trust the most
doesn't just bail,
but hurts you.
The person you loved the most
makes you stay up crying in bed.
The person you loved the most
makes you feel afraid of going to school
or unlocking your phone.

At this point,
I have given up.
My real friends are my old friends,
the ones everyone thought I would dump forever.
But, they always lurked in the background
of my life.
They may have been shoved to the side,
but never did they fade.

These are the friends that were by your side
through the hardest times.
Before you meet the one friend you
get crazy close with in one night and
pretend
trust grows on trees,
think about your old friends.
The ones you might be mad at for a stupid,
stupid reason.
Give them a chance.

Don't let the others fade,
just because you found a new "them."

You've replaced them.
But, the replacement will fail to serve.

She hurt you once
she hurt you twice
the last strike
and she's out

Goodbye dear lad,
not dear no more!
But, yet, something.
Something inside of
me.
I can't see
that something inside
of me.

It's yelling.
Screaming.
My heart is BEATING!

It just ain't right
But the heart wants what it wants.
My brain says no
yet it still ain't up to me,
for the heart wants what it wants.

Have you ever felt like
all you wanted to do was listen to music
yet your head hurt

and the world would spin and spin
but all you wanted was to stand still

and the sun didn't shine on a day where you wanted to be blinded

And the branch didn't break
when you tried to die from the aches of life
so you had
had to let go.

Have you ever felt like the chocolate is never just right.
Either too milky or too strong, never balanced out.
Have you ever forgot to feed your pet,
remembered, and still layed in bed?

Because I, I,
understand it all
but life just isnt easy like that
for life
doesn't just give you the lemons,
it makes you find them
and work to
make
the lemonade.

A place
Where I don't need to hide,
A world that shines so bright
I don't wanna close my eyes
or sleep at night.
For the light is my life
and I know this is right
and I feel for the earth to my soul
to the bowl
of milk
that is left
in the cleft
in the middle of her
last
craft
and her last
laugh.
My baby's last
last laugh.
For she slips away
As fast as she came, she left.
One moment my whole life was there.
In the face of a kid who's age not four.
And yet,
I sit.
Wondering.
Dreaming.
What if?