I found myself feeding lies to my own heart.

My mind knowing from the beginning that we were doomed from the start.

Not meant for each other but I feed the illusion in my mind, that we are destined to be part of each other’s life.

I feel this pain crawling all over my being, inhale, exhale, inhale, repeat, I’ll bear the pain, until we meet again.

Two flames that burned too bright, too fast;  yet only one of us made it out alive.

My soul cries out for what was lost

May these wretched stars align and grant me my wish.

Forever and never, disregard me and lay me to rest.

Call me home, I’m tired of this. If we fell from grace, I’ll be the hell that you love and hate.

Forever and never my eternal love.

Part of me already knows that
The promises you make are empty
They bare no meaning
Yet I hold on to something
A sliver of hope
I turn away from the truth
The hope I feel is my own delusion
An illusion I create to save myself
Kept in the dark crevices of my mind
I throw myself deeper into the false pretense
and dig myself my own grave once more
Stuck in a reverie of my own, I let myself sink in own mind, pushing myself more into myself. I’m my own demise.

they said
to become happy you have to fake it till you make it
what satisfication will that ever give me?
how can one be fond of happiness if nothing seems to be right anymore in the place you call home

I can't hold a conversation with them
They spit each word with their own hurt
They come to me hurling my own agony
They are wicked and cruel
I will not shed a tear yet
The clock will strike midnight
I might shed a tear
I might just let my agony turn into anger
Cruel and wicked are their intentions
I bite my own tongue and keep quiet
If I become numb to my emotions
What will I become
When midnight comes
I'll be numb

All I feel is rage
My skin hot to the touch
I'm getting angrier as time passes by
I don't know how to handle it
I'm controlling myself but my mind is chaotic
It's like poison it's taking over
I wanna give in
Maybe it's all in my head
But for hells sake it better stop
Maybe i'm the one feeding my anger
My hands are shaking
My breath uneven
I can feel it manifesting
I'm not happy