The say being a reader is the greatest treasure.
What about being a writer ✍.
To have the power to create and destroy at your hands.
To write you must be knowledgeable and a committed reader.
To write you must have the gift.

~Mid July thoughts.

I have seen world's I haven't visited.
Experienced hardships I wasn't meant for.
I have loved families that weren't mine I have fought battles conquered foes even when I had no idea on how to wield a sword.
I have felt the joy and laughter in children.
I have felt the struggles of emperors' and princes' yet I wasn't royalty.
I have taken charge of armies as a general I even played the damsel in distress might I say.
I have forged words like how a blacksmith does to metal but for me as a wordsmith.

~This is the diary of a writer✍

Can we please talk about how we met
On those desolate white walls
Filled with whispered words and quiet secrets
Standing at a distance
Watching each other as if in a trance
Your eyes a daring temptation
That I gladly welcomed
I seized the moment
Took love by the horns
No fear of the pain that comes with a bull’s strength
Who knew the aftermath would be this grave?
My heart a tombstone of our love
Engraved, ‘Here lies the love of Rose and Star’
Its chambers a graveyard of forgotten souls
Just like how you buried me six feet under
Out of reach
An arm’s distance
Yet it feels like a million miles away
Is there something I should have said?
Were there words left unspoken?
Be realistic people’s words ringing in my ears
Our friends and families losing faith
Yet I still hold on to the promise of tomorrow
They weren’t there when our hearts joined and our souls entwined
I want to lose hope and let you go
Maybe my longing won’t be this much
I never wanted ours
To be a tale of betrayed love

The ocean loses a hundred a fish in a day
Yet it never lacks it's glow
Why should I lack mine
Since I lost one who wasn't worthy of me

I hate flowers
At a distance
They look divine.
Until you pick one
With time it withers and dies
What's the beauty in a flower if not to watch it from a far?

I've started feeling you even in my writings
You've invaded my mental space
You've squizzed your way through my heart
You have made me a prisoner to desires
Ones I'm not ready to face
Adventures I'm not willing to partake
Unruly passions weave their web in my soul
Do you know what is worse than unrequited love
Forbidden passions that have been reciprocated
I've never been a daredevil and for you
Still, I will not
I have loved and I still love
Attraction is just child's play an illusion

The city of my dreams
Where dreams come true
Where fairytales exist
In Shakespeare's plays
Romeo dying for Juliet
Me slowly dying for you
Now that I'm here in London
Everything seems much clearer
During this cold winter
London fails to keep me warm
My heart feels frozen
All I ever wanted in my life
Was to make it in London
I never realized
London was never my real gem
You were my dearest, Rose
Now even with millions
Who appreciate my writing
You were my inspiration
London feels dark without you
I'll be home to see you
I can't continue without my true London
You made my dreams come true
I'll be back
For you are my London

You have no idea
How much my heart bleeds
One single word unclenches me
You lead me on
Only to let me go
You promised you wouldn't hurt me
And still I told you
Words are never a guarantee

You have no idea
How I wish you would have never said anything
From the love induced words
To the midnight crazed hearts
To the love language of touch
Caressed assurances that
I am the only one
Who knew what lay ahead

You have no idea
How I fell for every little bit of you
From your laughter
Your infectious smile
Alluring presence
Charismatic benevolence
Generous soul
A weakness they may suffice

You have no idea
How I hate repeating myself
But for you a parrot I become
Saying words not heeding them
Going over the same things
All over again, drowning
Misery since I'm miserable
Look what unruly affections have done to me

©Lone star ✨
®Jerusa Mentrin
In the darkest sky I feel so alive.

Whoever told you that requited love doesn't hurt was wrong
If more it kills every living cell inside your body
It tears away your heart living your chest solo
It racks your brain making it a jumbled mess
It weakens your spirit by deeming it

Whoever told you requited love is a walk in the beautiful blue sea was right
Yet they never warned you about the dark storms that shake your existence
Yet nobody mentioned the jaws of hungry sharks awaiting to devour you
Yet no one said that at times you would drown so deep only having yourself to rescue you
Yet what they saw was the beautiful aqua blue but no one saw the ugly black of the Bermuda love triangle

Whoever told you that requited love was a walk in the park was somewhat not mistaken
I wonder if they told you , you'd step in dog **** in the park and in love you may stumble upon disturbing facts
I wonder if they told the park might have laughter but some go there because they need a break from unruly passions
I wonder if they told you that people get kidnapped in a park and so does love cage the heart
I wonder if they knew walking in the park on a rainy day can cause a cold because in love,love sickness is a disease that can very well **** you

Whoever told you requited love was the icing on top of the cake probably had a sweet tooth
Here I am confirming you may never get to finish the whole cake to taste the icing
Here I am addicted to the sweet savory taste of love that now I feel nauseous
Here I am having toothaches after a terrible fall
Here I am believe that if requited love is the icing at least unrequited love won't give you any tonsils since the icing and the cake will never be yours.

Everyone says no to us
Yet our hearts entwine
Everything is against us
Yet when our eyes meet it's just us
Even as a tear drops
I know you are still ready to crucify me
They say ice and ice
Is bound to freeze
Yet the fire in our hearts
Burns brighter than ever
Won't the warmth keep us breathing
How to tame our hearts from going wild
The only way is to crash the spirit
In your so called ways
To purify the soul
Yet it will **** us
With an excuse of keeping us alive
After diminishing us
Extinguishing any hope
We have for the future
You think we are wrong
The problem is
You think
We believe that in this world
Right or wrong  is a question for our hearts
Let the hearts decide
Our minds fool us
Our eyes blind us
Our people abandon us
The world betrays us
Yet you still crucify us

©The Snitch Writes
®I never betrayed but a snitch they said I was

When did I love you become a half hearted promise
When did the stars stop shinning when you stared deep into my eyes
When did tears replace laughter in our nights
When did laying next to you become a dream that keeps drifting and I awaken
When did hurting each other be the language of proving a point
When did numbers become a measurement of our love
When did lies become a basic livelihood to our incomplete love story
When did secrets become part of our supposedly open relationship
When did I become Sherlock to be unraveling Pandora's box when your heart is my home
When did all this begin because clearly I can't fathom
When did going on peaceful walks become a mirage I create in my mind
When did I become an option in your list of priorities
When did you start saying I love without meaning it,
When, please remind me love

Does it feel right
Sincerely with no fright
How I always take the blame in our fights
Every single night
You make it so hard to hold you tight
Is our love even a pure white
I wonder  when you stopped being my knight
Where is that light
I'm holding on with all my might
It's hard to hold the tears from my sight
In your eyes everything I do requires a plight
Nowadays your anger is so easy to ignite
A bit of an argument it shows on site
Why has our love become a hard bite
It no longer shines bright
Am I worthy in your eyes, your forgotten limelight
Be sure I ask with a lot of fright
It's either free or flight
Please,answer me tonight

When eyes talk listen...
Well it's rather a statement
But I do want to second it
Eyes disclose what mouths cannot.
When I first saw her...
It's at that moment that
I marveled at her beauty and now my mouth can say
That she is indeed beautiful.
Not only my mouth but also my heart and my entire being.,
As I got to know her.,
I realized an air of keen intelligence and self importance about her.

I know, yes I do know that
That perfect is not for human
Or should I say beings?
She is an angel
At least this will grant me
Full reason to say that
She is indeed perfect
The star that shines in my most gloomy nights and days...
My strength
My light
My Lonestar

If teardrops could be bottled
There’d be swimming pools filled by models
Told, “A tight dress is what makes you a *****”
If “I love you” was a promise
Would you break it, if you’re honest?
Tell the mirror what you know she’s heard before
I don’t wanna be you anymore

Under the rain we walk,
As our footsteps echo in the mud.

They sharpen the knife
Not to shape my life
But to make me someone's wife
That will lead to a strife

They want to bleed me dry
They don't care if I cry
They are not even shy
To push my legs wide open,why?

The scars will last till eternity
Have I mentioned infertility
My ****** will now be with great difficulty
What about the infections due to increased susceptibility

I once had a dream of marrying Abdul Bhula
But because of the risk of obstetric fistula
How can a woman not have a child and be a ruler
Then she will cry having conversations with God in a Dua

If they care
Let them not dare
To do the same to my sister Leah
I know the she can't bare

To silence the voices inside my head
This practices must be dead
For our daughters to live happily wed
We have to forget the outdated practices of the dead

© Lone Star ✨ poet
® Jerusa Mentrin

Do you believe I love you?
Six words that were enough
To bring my life to a stand still
Even my feet couldn't stand it
Doubt,no it's not what I saw in your eyes
Love,that you have for me

Do you believe I love you?
Six words  that were enough
To remind me how empty I felt before I met you
Even my heart smiles just at the thought of your name
Wait, doesn't my touch express how much you mean to me
My eyes, don't you see that when I look at you the whole world ceases to exist

Do you believe I love you?
Six words that were enough
To make me laugh
I'm sorry it's not amusement
My dear one,no it's assurance that you seek
You know, that even before you asked the answer is so evident

Do you believe I love you?
Six words that were enough
To bring tears to your eyes
Which made my heart ache
My voice just had to break
Ofcourse I believe you love me
Why else would your touch set fire to my blood
Yes I believe you
© Lone Star ✨ poet

I'm in love with a photographer,
because, he says I am his limelight
I'm in love with a sailor,
because,he teaches me to sail in the ocean of love
I'm in love with a painter,
because, he draws lines of me that no one notices
I'm falling deeper,
Do you know who will catch me?
Well I'm in love, with a gymnast
because,he is always catching me when I fall
I'm in love  with an archer,
because, his aim never falters and he hits the bull's eye of my heart
I really tried you see,
but even the photographer with his best shots,
He  couldn't win my heart
The sailor was amazing,
but he drowned me
To the point I couldn't breathe
The painter even with his fine lines,
Left smudges of me everywhere
Now I'm nothing but a blurry image
The gymnast was to break my fall,
but instead he broke my bones
Now I'm no longer intact
The archer won my heart
but even with his never faltering aim,
His shot bled me dry,
Now my heart is in pieces
I'm sorry that today,
I played my part in love,
Although I'm no player,
I lost I admit defeat,
but even after a dark dusk,
There is a bright dawn,
so tomorrow I'll try my luck again
and maybe next time
Lady luck will smile on me

Don't you remember,
That my name is Amber
The girl's whose eyes are full of ember
You said I had the most beautiful eyes

Do you remember, infront of you I was shy
You said you hated it when I cry
Yet you wiped my eyes with your lies

Do you rememeber, how you spoilt me with love
When you id without me you can't live
How comes now I'm not in your life and you're alive
So you lied to me when we lied on your bed
You are the bad omen that makes me believe that all  are bad men

Do you remember,you used to be;
My shoulder to lean on
My ride or die off and on
My lover,my best friend
My oxygen
Now I can't survive
Do  you!!!?

Do you remember,
When you used to call me beautiful names
When we used to play little cute exiting love games
You tickle me and I'd laugh like crazy
Feeling a little bit hazy
Or my love for you was too heavy
You wanted royalty a real queen
But loyalty was all I could give to you my king
How many times did I bow to you
I didn't now you would get bored with me
Simply because I'm a plain Jane

Do you remember,
Late at night when we had a fight
You'd give me advices
About people's vices
You were once my inspiration
Now you are my desparation

Please remember,
My love if not my laugh
My walking grace not my silky lace
My jaded eyes not my faded skies
Please remember that you kept me before you chose and left me

Just remember,
I am Amber
And I am still somber
Because of your unrequited love
That filled my equitted half

Should I call
When my battery is dead
Should I cry
When my tears are dried
Should I hold on
When I'm weak
Should I feel safe
When I'm drowning
Should I care
When I don't know if you do
Should I just let go
When I've fallen so deep
Should I comfort my heart
When you are my only antidote
Should I look at what I don't have
When you are the only one I need
Should I keep asking myself question after question
When only you can give the answers
Should I want happy ever after
When this is not a fairytale
Should I close my eyes to the silent rhythm
When only you can play the right tune
All I know no matter the questions
Only you can give the answers

A beautiful piece of writing
That the heart's content was poured
Hidden beneath drawers
Layers of dust fill the pages
All  because of fear
Fear for the piece to be criticized
Fear for the piece not to attract readers
But remember that's not the reason you wrote it anyway
Take a leap of faith and unleash Words that can only be written and not said
Remember ,a poem is a piece of art that deserves to see the light

I've been listening to the correct lyrics for the wrong song
Been dancing to the right rythm for the wrong beat
Been having the wrong feelings for the wrong person

You are not here
How do I live
How do I breathe
I feel lonely and it hurts
Just in here where they cannot see
Why did you go
Didn't you know I'd miss you so
I want to run into your arms
I want you to hold me through the night
But where are you
Will you ever come back to me
So many questions clouding my mind
Last night I walked under the rain
Thinking back to when you were there
Do you remember our first kiss was under the rain
Did you hear me scream your name
As I let my tears get washed away by the rain
Today our daughter asked about you
What was I to say to her
Should i tell her you are gone
I wish it was that easy
Would you please come back to me
D

The gown was white as snow
The flowers the darkest shade of green I've ever seen
Your betrayal so thick and real
Your heart darker than coal
Before our alleged creator
I walked down the aisle ready to take my vows
A bride waits for the groom at church
I thought it was unique just like our love
The sire who is our maker watched me as I waited for you
Time passed and I allowed it to
May Heaven be known I watched as each and everyone one of them one by one left the church
In Holy matrimony we would have been one
The once exotic beauty is now a weeping mess
Black coated cheeks with red reemed eyes
They all watched as I was torn apart
Reality seemed like a nightmare
But even the demons in my dreams weren't that cruel
A heartless man jilts a woman on her wedding day
As a more lucrative opportunity turns up
I thought I was worth so much more
Till my better half abandoned me

Call me when you want
Call me when you need
I'll be there when you think of me
Just a heart beat away from you
Following you into your dreams
I'm always there with you all you need to do is to think of me
And I'll be there

I found the one with the bests of smiles
You made me laugh and cry
My heart was content with your passionate love
I wondered how someone so perfect was created
Until you became a **** Jack
That's when I understood you were never in love
You just wanted to taste the waters
Unfortunately they drained before you could have a deep
Then you became the real you the one you hide from the world
When preying on innocent girls
What a **** you are my dear Jack
But the stupid thing is I still love you

Music only runs deep when you hurting

I loved blindly  never once caring about the odds against our love
Took me for granted when you found her
Did you even ever love that I loved you
My love for you was authentic
It still is up to now
But your indecisiveness is also still there
Do you want me or her?
Don't even answer
I've made up my mind
I love you  but letting you go
Is one of the strongest decisions
I've ever made
I don't belong to you
And I   never will
Or maybe time  will tell
If I was to be yours still

I'd hate to break it to you but I'm done
Done with your silly lies,your manipulation and your unrequited love
You keep saying you love me but why don't you stay and prove it
Every day of my life I woke to impress you maybe thinking
One day I'll gain your empathy if not your fake love
When I'm not around you are busy holding hands and kissing someone else
The essence of touch is something I never got from you maybe an embrace but never a kiss
If I never meant anything to you before I think I'm better gone
Because with me gone nobody has to hurt or lie you care when you clearly don't
I know you won't notice but I'll just let you know I'm gone

I look at you and smile because of the love that flatters in my heart
Every time I look at you I fall in love all over again
But since you are not sure if you love me
I want to ask
If I were not hear would you long to hold my hand just as I held yours but you let go
Would you regret not having showed the world you loved me
Would you miss the nights we spend together when it rained and the lights were blacked out
Would you cry as my casket descends six feet below the ground
Would you tell them I am your lover or would still be ashamed of us
Would you regret not telling me you loved me
But since l would not be there you will not get to do all of them
Do them now while I'm still here

Everytime I look back to the days I had you to hold
Not that I did any way just dreamed of doing so
The day I confessed my love to you
You ignored me does it mean you didn't want me
You never answered the questions I had only said you didn't know
Now my heart is bleeding torn apart in the undying love I still have for you
Why can't it just go away
I don't want to love you if it means being in pain
But I'm lost in your unrequited love