If you keep banging on the devil's door
someone is bound to answer
those who don't know why they bleed
have their blood lapped up by panthers

firing at the sky, toward crows
the doves will be falling
before you load up your gun
remember who you're calling

when bad things are done for good
we are taking chances
when you whistle that old tune
the devil always dances

if you keep knocking on the devil's door
someone is bound to answer
those who don't know why they bleed
have their blood lapped up by panthers

(firing at the sky, toward crows
and the doves will be falling
before you load up your gun
remember who you're calling)

when bad things are done for good
we are taking chances
when you whistle that old tune
the devil always dances

https://soundcloud.com/gary-loftis/devil-dance

when I feel the world on my back
it's like carrying a boulder
when an angel can't take away
the devil on my shoulder

the light only goes skin deep
in the eyes of this beholder
the darkness will always seep
the darker, the colder

I wake up in a shivering sweat
I feel like a wounded soldier
friendly fire can never ****
the devil on my shoulder

#bipolar #mentaldisorder  #insanity

I get so high
I look up past the sky
I look back down
and I wonder why
I'm somewhere in between
I'm almost in a dream
monsters make me laugh
angels make me scream
I get so low
nowhere down to go
I look back up
and I just don't know
whether I will defy
what is right before my eyes
devils wear a path
angels wear a disguise

side by side but on different sides
standing over the line that divides
getting nowhere as opinions collide
the one with more is the one who decides

mind  over matter with nothing in mind
mind doesnt matter when its confined
staring into the eyes that are blind
the thoughts refuse to be combined

back to back but different directions
we cant make any kind of connection
my idea meets with your objection
your idea meets with my rejection

Waiting for the bright lights of a dim train
this station is littered with dead hearts
wheels are turning toward thin pains
nothing stops the locomotion of a headstart

waiting for the screeching of steel wheels
one way ticket to cough and grasp
I wonder if this track still feels
derailed passengers of the lost and passed

It is easy to detect
detection of the rules you neglect
neglectful of what you protect
protection of the invisible object
objection to what others select
selection of the list that's checked
checking for a way to connect
connection lost, has an effect
effecting words that were direct
direction lost

where are you located on front street?
i'm the last house on the end
which end?
depends on which end you're coming from

is it on the right or the left?
it depends which way you're facing

well, how do i get to you from the south side?
from the south, i am north
from the north, i am south
from the east, i am west
from the west, i am east

so...where are you coming from?
i guess i don't know until i find out where you're located!

when we die
all we are is dirt
there's no heaven or hell
there is no more hurt

When we go
there's nothing else to know
there is no devil
waiting down below.

wow!
as i think to myself
how can it be
the thought of burning for infinity
is better than nothing, or nothingness.
not even blackness, blackness you'd know
you cant know nothingness though.
Does dirt know anything?
Is dirt burning in hell?
Is dirt suffering?
I hope not, because one day
i will be dirt!!

doctors in the old days
did more than read a book
they made house calls on the cold days
just to have look

they brought the medicine
they gave you what would heal
they didn't work for big business
they didn't work for a pill

doctors in the new days
call it medical care
they drive mercedes
they don't have much time to spare

they sell the medicine
they give you what is next
they work for big business
they work for a check

Sometimes I wonder if it's just from a lack of life experience. Easy for me to say though, since I'm not a poet, and I write nursery rhymes. A closed mind causes individual thought to bounce off of cranium walls, and when these confused thoughts do leave the body, they literally bounce around your living quarters and infect those that you love. So, if you blame writer's block on anything but yourself, you are just projecting more "confused" energy.

I picture a person just sitting there with a pen or phone, angry at the world that they are scared of. Maybe I am wrong, but it truly is related to laziness. These same people sometimes use that anger to inform others of how stupid they are. Never stopping to look at themselves.

I can't help but think that it's the ones who study, research, and live life more that get famous. These people with writer's block self publish, and yes, possibly end up with a book in the library...you know, the books that never get borrowed and look brand new, even when they're old.

You do know what a library is right? Well, grow some passion, and do some research. Walk a path that you normally wouldn't walk. After all, hasn't it all been said about poetry, poets, butterflies, writer's block?

I can't help but to think that some of these same people are like the haters that tried to run me off for years. Guilty conscious? Nope, guilty sub-conscious.

Don't worry, I have enough written to post 5 poems a day for 10 years. Maybe I will get a chance to post those someday. As for now, my mind is continually evolving, and searching...and finding. I just sit down and the *******(poetry) pours out of me. This is not poetry...true

I failed 7th grade three times because I refused to **** wildflowers and press them between wax paper. I also refused to dissect frogs and other animals.

Those wildflowers and frogs were all I had in the patch of woods...where I had to hide.

My science teacher looked just like a toad with a beard. Ms Farley. Vermilion Middle School. Ohio

doing the math


This problem has gone on so long
we always reach the same old sum

divided by lies
multiplied by my failure to learn
In division, we carried over

the sequences of your dishonesty
compounded by lack of ownership

numbers don't lie

you brought a lot of uncertainty into the equation
it played a huge factor
the lowest common denominator

I never was good at arithmetic, but something doesn't add up

subtract me

This problem has gone on so long
we always reach the same old sum

divided by lies
multiplied by my failure to learn
In division, we carried over

the sequences of your dishonesty
compounded by lack of ownership

numbers don't lie

you brought a lot of uncertainty into the equation
it played a huge factor
the lowest common denominator

I never was good at arithmetic, but something doesn't add up

subtract me

subtract sanity from misery
add a little violence
multiplied by duplicity
those voices never silence

divided by the mystery
carried over to tomorrow
this beast that lives in me
the sum of all my sorrow

Don't pray for me
save it for someone who believes
i'll stay for me
and blow away like the leaves

don't see for me
i will use my own two eyes
what will i see
past the words and the lies

don't hear for me
i have my own two ears
my fear for me
is different than YOUR fears

don't taste for me
i will taste it on my own
a waste for me
to be warmer than a stone

don't feel for me
save it for lack of senses
i heal for me
and i pay all the expenses

don't go in there
I have a bad feelin
that's where you'll die
where you'll get your killin

there's a man in there
with a look in his eye
don't go in there
or that's where you'll die

he came a lookin
he's lookin for you
don't go in there
whatever you do

don't go in there
I have a bad feelin
that's where you'll die
where you'll get your killin

I can't help it
sometimes it pours out of me
the doubt of me
it's an downward mentality

I can feel it
burning deep inside of me
I lie to me
I tell myself it's sobriety

I can't fight it
it always gets the best of me
It's testing me
trying to **** my destiny

I can see it
taking over all of me
it's calling me
it's sure to be the fall of me

It's all so cut and dry
drying up the tears i cry
crying as my fear is high
higher hopes are hard to buy
buying each and every lie
lying to myself for one more try
trying everything to fly
flying downward from the sky
skies that seem to say goodbye

I'm so tired, cant sleep, cant rest
resting is hard, with all this stress
stressful life, always put to the test
testing my patience, making me a mess

messing me up and keeping me down
downward thoughts, on the ground
grounded by the misery found
finding myself forever bound

walking off into the arms of death
smothering, trying to find my last breath
maybe I wasn't the worst, but wasn't the best
walking off into the arms of death

holding all that I have inside
overfilled with all the things that've died
I just can't get my mind to that size
holding all that I have inside

walking off into the arms of death
dizziness is from finding my breadth
maybe I wasn't the worst, but never the best
walking off into the arms of death

Draft g

They are hurting now they're numb
Pins and needles take another one
A pain sensation sweeps a nation
On this 666 android station

Out to **** their anti-droid
Nerves explode the unemployed
Seeing on a frequency benign
Waiting for a signal or a sign?

Drama queen
oh drama queen
how do you fuel your machine?
make a scene
watch em lean
drama as your gasoline

attention *****
attention *****
why do you long for more?
make em mad
make a war
same as it was before

drama queen
oh drama queen
how do you always come out clean?
make it seen
make it mean
put the pieces in between

Dr Khan: I need to do lab tests on you before I can prescribe your meds
Me: But they are not narcotic, they are blood pressure and blood thinners etc
Dr Khan: it don't matter, I need to check your levels
Me: I feel fine though
Dr Khan: you have to, or I will get in trouble,and I'm not going to lose my license
Me: you can get into trouble?
Me: **** it, I don't need them
Dr Khan: but you will die if you stop taking the meds
Me: Then prescribe the meds
Dr Khan: I can't
Me: Killer!


Over a year later, my health seems better than ever. I went from things getting worse, to things getting better without the drugs and doctor

life can be a theme park
not tall enough to ride this ride
merry go round dreams part
where ferris wheel hearts died

when all of the screams start
there is nowhere to hide
roller coaster dreams part
where bumper car hearts died

Sitting beside a mountain stream
inside a glimmering perfect dream

this road is weathered
but where one road ends, another starts
crossroads are measured
by the sign posts of wrong turn hearts

caution lights
the stop signs
bridge out
bumps ahead
highways divided
it's gridlock

another dead end street
and there's no u-turns

that road was better
until it came time for us to merge
a do not enter
detours where two hearts converge

when she was a bright eyed little girl
no dreams ever seemed out of reach
after years of tasting the bitter world
she only felt so tired and weak

she found herself a soothing potion
something to make her feel her best
like waves pouring from the ocean
she really loved to ride that crest

she didn't realize she was in so deep
the receding waves had the strongest tow
what this ocean takes, it will keep
sunken lives are found below

she found herself only treading water
it was getting harder to stay afloat
drowning like other sons and daughters
in distress, in the sea of dope

you are going to get them help
only after you exploit their life
you're going to pat their back
right after you insert the knife

cheap wine and expensive thoughts
the price I pay will equal out
so many bottles and lies I've bought
it leaves me drunk with doubt

having no root, i followed my own route
i used to know no other way
some would say i was the sum of a brute
i used to prey, when i should pray

i used to believe in an eye for an eye
to our minds vengeance comes in twos
by the time that we buy our last goodbye
we do what we do, then pay our dues

It's time to shake our money makers
and see if we find any takers
i'm telling you, we're real heartbreakers
we were born to be *** shakers

don't look past my body and face
that would be a total waste
we really know a woman's place
just another wasted case

don't talk to us about intellect
that's a concept that we reject
we let our looks and sensuality reflect
our total mindless neglect

The dumbest person in the world thinks they are the smartest person in the world.

going to bed while I'm full of dread
too many bad thoughts in my head
as I drift off into the deep
I see images of dying sheep
waking up sweating, pain in my chest
it makes it hard for my mind to rest
the only hope that I keep
is gently dying in my sleep

No direction, dressed in distress
suppressed by excess of regret
expected infection, hard to digest
a left mess that's best to forget

projected wreck is yet to accept
object of the reflected effect
where defective breath has wept
I rest in the echo of my neglect

Every thing i say
Comes right back to my ear
Hearing my words bouncing off
Of an empty atmosphere

Enigmas in the wind
Can't anybody hear?
Hello, is anyone there?
Or are my words just unclear?

Each sound returning
Continuing the fear
Hollow sounds fading out
Only to disappear

egos collide, egos divide
narcissistic and too commanding
egos inside, egos provide
an image that is so demanding

egos misguide, egos betide
the mind that is not expanding
egos aside, egos denied
would lead to more understanding

A new system is what we must *****
***** what we feel is correct
correct me if i neglect
neglect got us into this wreck
wreck everything to protect
protect us from what they select
select a new way to project
project the future and perfect
perfect lives we could expect
expect to let our decisions reflect
reflect on who we elect
elect a new way

I don't have a lot in my pockets
enough for one more bottle of wine
these bottles take a deposit
the contents make a deposit in time

I don't have a lot of intentions
enough for one more passing of day
thoughts of other dimensions
are the bottles I throw away

i wouldn't harm a living thing
besides a fly buzzing in my face
what good does killing do?
besides creating empty space

was never is, and is never was
accustomed to doing what the other does
is always went left, and was went right
at times in the hallway they'd say goodnight

well, they got to talking one day
it seems that was always comes when is goes away
so the only difference between the two
is that one already did what the other will do

since was, was once is and is will be was
they both do something that the other does
now when is sees was and was sees is
they kiss, because is, is hers and was is his

is and was knows will, but will hasn't met them yet

i have said enough prayers
so i'm done praying
no one really hears
or cares what i'm saying

i have fought enough fears
now i'm done fighting
all the wasted years
wrongs not worth righting

i've had enough regrets
no more ***** for giving
the heart never forgets
but i must go on living

screaming bright orange
the alert goes out to all
evening's warning light

planting and then digging up the past
like grasping hands of shattered glass
scattered patterns come back fast
an attachment to the splattered mass

blackened fragments of first and last
spattered paths that lead right back
stabbing agony that will never pass
shackled to the everlasting black

You are the only one who can make you whole, and you can make another whole...expectation is the enemy to satisfaction. And satisfaction is whole...expectation is half a fantasy. Knowing expectation is a half of a fantasy, can make it better. Hang on, this rollercoaster is still going up hill. Those butterflies will come back.