Im hurting

"It's time for me to leave.
They say if you love something..set it free..if it comes back then it was meant to be... I love you with all my heart..But this is a goodbye"

He loves you so much that he's willing to let you go
He's taking a huge leap of faith right now
But you're to blind to see that he cares about you,
He truly loves you
He puts you're happiness above his
He's the most selfless person you've met
But you're too blind to see it...Too blind to see his effort*
You don't realize that you have to take that leap of faith too..
if you truly love him
No matter how badly it might hurt
No matter how scared you are
Sometimes when you *truly love someone you just have to jump
And trust you'll fly with them
............

****
Homies fresh to death
Shining till his last breath
Always looked his best
Rockstar jeans and Louis belts
But not much else
See he was taught to chase labels and look like money
But not to chase knowledge people would look at him funny
He lived by the streets,
did his dirt .... to eat,
he didn't even know he'd been beat
Didn't realize he'd been tricked
the game was fixed
this wasn't it
Dude was fresh to death
Fighting his only ally till his last breath separated by sides of a city that hated them all
chasing labels made by people profiting off our downfall
We got it all wrong
*But buddy was fresh to death though

You were a good man who died to soon*
You had a great heart
You was the type that would do anything for anyone
You'd put people you cared about before yourself
Give them your last dollar...the clothes off your back
But like the rest of us
You had your issues
And all though you never showed it..
life messed you up
••••••••••••••••

I'm tired....
I'm tired of going through the same thing
...the same pain
You chose **** over me
Don't you know that hurts
That feeling of feeling like
you're not good enough
Forever remains
Theres no changing that feeling
.......

She dances on the sand
trying to become one
with the earth again....*
♡♡♡♡
She has pain in heart
Sadness in her eyes
And a broken spirit
But she still smiles through the pain

Unwanted
Unworthy
Failure
Out of place
You'll never be enough
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
**I am enough

I feel like im all alone
In a corner by myself
I got everyone telling me what i can't do
But no one is telling me what i can do
I need support
I cant be there for myself all the time
••••••••••
I hate being alone
I try to stay strong
And smile through the pain
But i just can't
I can't do it anymore by myself
I need someone to be there for me
When i need them ......
I'm always there for everyone else
Why can't someone just support me
And be there when i need them?

It was just a memory
....a very good but bad one*
♡
Me and him
....strangers with memories
♡
Was it £○v€°°°¿ Or was it love...?
♡
•••••••••••••

Im still here
Waiting to catch you if you fall
I don't know why I care so much
When I shouldn't care at all
But yet im still here.. waiting
To help you up when you fall
Everybody keeps telling me
To leave you in the past
Because I deserve better than you
But I still care for you
I still.... I still love you
Why am I still here waiting
When I know I should leave
.......But I still care
I still love you
♡
But that... doesn't mean we should be together

Do you still see me as beautiful
after what I did to you

To say I don't love you
Would be a lie.
I love when we cuddle
Your embrace is so warm.

Long walks on the beach,
Holding hands,
Talking under the moonlight...

I love when you look into my eyes
And say ''i love you''
I love when we have small fights
About who loves who more.

You make me see the world differently.
And when we kiss
Its like making art
................

A ballerina
In a big fluffy tutu and pointe shoes
Thats all you see.
You don't see the pain, the struggle, the bruises or the tears.
All you see is how pretty
and graceful she is.
Have you ever wondered what its like to dance day in and day out?
You don't know what happens behind
Those curtains,
You don't know us,
You don't see us
...........
We are dancers
We love dancing
We dance no matter what

I want you
But you don't want me
It wasn't easy knowing that I hurt you
I'm still not over you
I messed around
with the guy you hated
Just to get your attention
I wanted you*
So when you wanted to be friends
I was happy
But then I fell more in love with you
Everytime I talk you it hurts me
And as much as it hurts me to say this....
we can't be friends anymore*
Our friendship is making it harder
to move on

Can I be honest with you,
Can I tell you the truth,
Without things getting weird between us
If I told you a secret
would you keep it

~College ( Juilliard/ Chapman/ Texas A&M;/ Boston Conservatory)
~Contract/Professional dancer (Joffrey Ballet/American Ballet Theatre)
~Become a fashion designer
~Buy mom a house
~Get married + kid(s) (daughter)
~Live in paris (1 year)
~Travel rest of the world
...................

death is inevitable
you can't avoid it*
Everyone dies sooner or later
....But if eveyone dies
than why does it hurt everytime

I still love you
Tell me would it be wrong
to say that I wanted you to be *the one
I've tried moving on
but I just can't get over you
No one makes me feel the way you do
Is it wrong to confess these things
knowing who I might hurt
.....Tell me that you have these same feelings

What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma

Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK

But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate
............
**The Black eyed peas FT. The world

Dreams shattered on the floor
she dances on the broken glass
trying to restore her reflection.
She looks in the mirror and sees nothing more
...but a broken girl

Oh darling,
don't you know how beautiful you are?
You're loveable, kind-hearted and smart.
You don't need to compare yourself to others
once you realize how beautiful you are on the inside,
you'll realize that you're just as beautiful on outside too.
So, you're not perfect
but who is.....
All that matters is that
you love yourself for yourself.

I'm a prisoner in my own city
with invisble handcuffs
and a target on me
no matter what choices I make
you'll still never let me be free
I just wanna fly
but everytime I try
you shoot me down
because the sky was meant for the birds
but don't you see,
i'm a bird too
so why won't you just let me be

I'm lost...
I don't know which way to go
so, I look to the heavens above
hoping to see a sign
but I see nothing
I scream for help
but no one is near
it seems as if they have left me
but it was me who pushed them out
so blind to the fact that they were trying to help me
now, i'm all alone
and in need of their help
but no one can get to me
because i've built this wall around me.

You always tell me that I can talk to you about anything
but how can I,
when everytime I try
you shut me down
and tell me to wait until i'm older
or you get mad & hang up the phone
because I don't say what you wanna hear.
I'm tired of your childish and selfish ways...
but yet i'm still here

I'm scared to fall
Because once you fall
You can't stop...
But thats not what life is about
Life is about takig a leap of faith
And knowing that there's a chance you might fly

Just because two people love each other
Doesn't always mean they should be together
♡♡♡

I hope that you love me for me.
I hope you can handle all my insecurities.
I hope you'll stand by me
Through the good & bad.
I hope you understand.... me
...............

I feel like my like my life is falling apart
.....
It feels like im losing control

I always thought it was everyone else
Who hated me
But its me...
Im the only one who hates me

Into the void I go
Nothing but darkness from head to toe
I'm cold...
I hear a whisper in the distance
It tells me to just let it go
So I do...
I see a light
So I smile thinking it's my way out
But I was wrong...
It was just another void colder than the one before
So into the void I go
With no hope and no soul*

I tried to find myself
in places that didn't exist...
My soul and heart are filled with void
I tried to find the missing piece
But I only ended up losing more
I just wanna find happiness
Within myself...
Always wondering
If there's a way out of this
....Getting high
Trying to fill this void
Realizing there's no way out
...living in hell on earth

You're fading from my mind.
I want to have a relationship with you.
I want to truly forgive you
But I just can't...
Something is stopping me from doing so,
Maybe its you
Or maybe its me
...
I wish you'd open up to me.
I hope one day you see yourself
The way I see you
.......
I might not ever say this but... daddy, i love you so much ♡

I would take my life for you
You mean everything to me.
You're my ride or die.
We been through everything together.
We had our ups and downs,
Laughs and tears.
To say I didn't love you
Would be a lie,
Your like my sister.
I wouldn't know what do without you?...
You have got me through alot
I wouldn't still be alive if it wasn't for you

I never meant to cause you any sorrow
I never meant to cause you any pain
I only wanted to one time to see you laughing
I only wanted to see you
Laughing in the purple rain

Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
I only wanted to see you
Bathing in the purple rain

I never wanted to be your weekend lover
I only wanted to be some kind of friend
Baby, I could never steal you from another
It's such a shame our friendship had to end

Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
I only wanted to see you
Underneath the purple rain

Honey, I know, I know
I know times are changing
It's time we all reach out
For something new, that means you too

You say you want a leader
But you can't seem to make up your mind
I think you better close it
And let me guide you to the purple rain

Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
If you know what I'm singing about up here
C'mon, raise your hand

Purple rain, purple rain
I only want to see you
Only want to see you
In the purple rain

I don't wanna be here
But since i gotta be here
I'm seeking instructions of life to help me see clear
I hear angels singing
And fighting off my demons
If 'life' is what i have then tell me whats the meaning...
No books define me
Just my father to remind me...
That life is not a dream
Or the past thats behind me

*Too many saviors to choose and refuse to put my broken youth behind me,
passing through walls
and watching people see through you just to see what they could find,
I'll be, ****** and appalled by everyone's display of who I am ,
in this life I am nothing but a pawn
from a sheep or a lamb.

How can love be that blind?
I had it all with you
And i learned alot from you,
But i couldn't see it...
And now it you
Who can't see that
Despite how far lost i was,
I was still so close to being found,
All along.
Just like in a dream i once had:
I was drowning
Looking up through clear water
At the face standing over
The waves i had sunken beneath.
But he couldn't see me...
He thought i was gone.
So he moved on.
How love walk away so easily?

As she sprouts
I can see the season are changing...
things are getting better.
She's becoming something more beautiful
One drop of rain and
he lets his love be the grounds liberal.
One drop of rain and he will grow
into a rose with thorns, because that's life...
sometimes you get pricked
Under the sun as a Cali flower
in Texas weather.*
You know nothing is impossible

There's a reason why I hate mornings...**
The sun rose up
and the pain started again.
......The hardest part about waking up is remembering
the things you spent all night trying to forget.....
I'm tired of waking up.
I'm tired of feeling this way.
When you wake up your nightmares end.....mines don't, things just get worse.

I feel incomplete,
I feel like i'm slowly dying without you
.......Do you feel the same?...

Can you help me get through the night?
.....Please

Wolf, I guess we were fighting a losing battle
against Ranger Rick and his minions.
We should of known ''he'' was going to
choose their side.
They  appeared to have more
people than us.
I don't even think ''he'' knows our side
....................................I wondered if the law got involved and they found out that all this was reported to the owner of the site what would happen?.......

I feel like i'm going crazy.**
The walls are closing in on me...
I can't breathe,
I can't think straight,
I keep having panic attacks.
I feel unaware of my surroundings
& who I am.
I don't want to live here anymore.
I want to move away,
I need to move away.
Maybe I should go live with my uncle,
my dad or just check myself into a hospital....I don't know
I just gotta get out.
I can't stay and live like this,
I feel under pressure and unhappy
.........