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2.8k · Apr 2021
Shut up (and go)
Ayn Apr 2021
Keep quiet,
Silence is your friend
And so am I.

Don’t listen to them,
They’re trying to stop you.
You’ll see this through.
That’s the one thing I’m sure you’ll do.

So shut up
And drive.
Only when far away,
Will you begin to thrive.
1.4k · Jun 2022
Untitled
Ayn Jun 2022
As the final wisps of daylight fade
Your eyes become so clear
And the dimly burning streetlights
Become the silent starlight,
Lighting our lover’s path dear.
883 · Jan 2020
Clamor & Commotion
Ayn Jan 2020
All the voices
Running through
My mind, mistaken.
My thoughts feel taken.
They can’t be my own,
But yet here I lie
Writing yet another one
Trying to wind back up,
Rather than come undone.
Written on the bus while listening to metal music, kinda ironic, right? Jan.9.2020
592 · Dec 2019
3. Again! Again!
Ayn Dec 2019
You know I love this, you do as well
We all love the feeling of the dripping blood
I know this feeling brings us closer to hell,
But I cannot live through this emotion flood
I need it to stay alive and sane.
The feeling is good too, it’s bliss
I love all the self inflicted pain
I want more, everyday, without miss.
You may think I’m out of line, I’m crazy
But i know you love it too
You are a *****, you’re lazy
I deal with that **** everyday, and so do you.
We need our emotion vents to let out the crud.
Why not again use our own blood
so I’ve figured it out. The even numbered poems are me, while the odd numbered poems are... also me. But the odd numbered ones are by the ****** up me, the one that wants me to die and hurt myself.
476 · Dec 2019
Alight
Ayn Dec 2019
Set me on fire;
Put a match to my clothes
Watch me rise in a pillar of flame,
Listen to my livid screams of pain.
Feel my existence slowly fade
As my body finishes fueling the glow,
As my screams mellow into the silent cracks.

In time, the fire will turn to embering ash.
I will have been consumed by a long gone inferno.
And when I have been burned to the ground,
I know that the only place I can go is up.
Im not sure why I write so much about fire. I mean I don’t think it describes me or anything.
472 · Mar 2021
Untitled
Ayn Mar 2021
As the gloomish clouds
Silently weep,
The world darkens
And we fall towards sleep.
469 · Jun 2020
Father
Ayn Jun 2020
He is an *******,
But a good kind of *******.
It runs in my fam.
I abbreviated family to fam to fit the 5-7-5
458 · Mar 2021
Adrift
Ayn Mar 2021
Digging
Into the ground,
Pulling up dirt.

It splashes like water
On a brilliant summer day,
We all love to play in water...

Bury me
Under this weight,
Bury me
Under my sin.
Bury me,
for I will never win.
Inspired by “Dig” from Mudvayne
442 · Jan 2020
Cigarette
Ayn Jan 2020
I lay there in the field,
An unlit Marlboro in between my lips.
Gazing into the summer sky...

My breathing starts matching the lengthening shadows,
My pulse slows down to even out with the intermittent owl hoots,
The cicadas fade into the crickets, and the crickets play a lulab-

A sudden warmth hits my face,
The light of my lighter is shining back into my eyes.
Once the end is in embers, the lighter is pulled away.
I take a long drag and gaze into nothingness,
Once again wondering who lights my cigarette,
Because they always steal my lighter too.
Took a change in my style when writing this over the summer. I don’t actually smoke, just a bit of my imagination at play.
July.2019
423 · May 2022
Trust
Ayn May 2022
As we got up and took our first step,
I looked at him, and he looked at me.
A silent nod exchanged in unison,
To convey our undying trust
To convey our unspoken love.
Lol I wish he liked me like that…
416 · Mar 2022
Untitled
Ayn Mar 2022
I call for the moon,
Welcoming its gaze.
It’s gentle, cold beams
Render my skin blue,
And bring light to my being.
413 · Nov 2021
Untitled
Ayn Nov 2021
The last streams of daylight fade away,
Like the frail afterimage
Of melancholic memories;
Drifting quietly like seaglass,
Submerged in an unfamiliar world.
I got nothing to add to this, so imagery is what it all is i guess.
410 · Dec 2019
Forward
Ayn Dec 2019
For each step I take,
I’ll have one more step to give.
So I’ll move onwards
Someone’s probably made this connection into a poem already, but think of this in terms of life and what comes with age.
408 · Jan 2020
The hero’s(?) new blade
Ayn Jan 2020
The memories of raven black obsidian
Well up at the sight of my new blade.
A midnight blade, with a red groove,
Running it’s own comet like streak
Down the center of the curvature.
The handle is made of an ebony wood,
A wood as dark, if not darker than
The blade it so reliably holds together.
A thin silver band wraps the division
Between the blade and handle,
And blocks the sheath from over-sheathing.
The sheath is also made of the same
Shadowy wood as the handle,
Giving off an aura of pure functionality.

This was a weapon made purely to ****.
The air around the blade shadily undulates
Like heartbeats through crimson arteries,
Telling me it’s immense bloodlust.
This is one really edgy poem... yikes I need to calm down on this ;-;... It’s 1:30 am and I’m not tired, so I guess I’ll start my year with listening to Slipnot and reading manga...

OH YEAH, forgot, raven black obsidian was the narrator’s old blade.
402 · Jul 2021
Talons
Ayn Jul 2021
Echoes.
A force resonating
With the muted walls.

Surround my fleeting soul
And swallow it whole.
Make it believe there’s no door,
Then burn it through the floor.
Make sure its raven talons
Aren’t sharp anymore.
“Something is seriously ****** up and it needs to change” i can guarantee most of you have said this at least once in your life, whether it is about yourself or the sad disposition of society.
389 · Feb 2020
Warning
Ayn Feb 2020
Do you ever wish
On what peeves you most
To just dissipate?

I wish that I wasn’t so late
In learning when someone
Chooses to be filled with salt
And infectious contempt.

A warning system
Would be a nice addition
To this life of mine!
People are so unpredictable. It gets annoying at times. Apparently I have the polar opposite mindset of what a writer should have. But ***** my brain. Writing is fun!
372 · May 2022
Untitled
Ayn May 2022
As she struck her final chords
His heart beat in tune with her fingers,
Birthing a new generation.
371 · May 2022
Windswept Wisps
Ayn May 2022
The wind’s soft melody
Tearing through the landscape.
Gently brushing my knee
And roaring in my ear.

The silent drop of a windswept tear,
The call to a motion all too clear.
A storm throughout our minds
Tearing at our walls like rinds.

The silent beauty
And the harsh cruelty
This is the duality of a tempest.
I don’t think this turned out how I originally planned but that’s alright
Ayn Jun 2023
As Seraphina stepped onto the ground, she remembered her late father. His words, once foolish and heretical, began to make sense after all that had happened. The sky was freedom, but her feathers fettered her to the ground.
I’ve been writing off and on for a while idk i thiught id post some stuff
345 · Mar 2020
Sunlight
Ayn Mar 2020
Following a radiant gaze,
And bringing light to the second phase.

Tracing the path of the scorching light,
Yet drooping it’s head in the mild night.

Clouds shall darken the sun dried sky,
But the trooper keeps it’s head held high

In the tempest of winds screeching loud,
The sunflower still stands, tall and proud.
I’m not dead (well obviously), I’ve just been stuck at home and not seeing much new or doing anything wild, so my words are lacking their “power.”
339 · Jun 2020
Undertow
Ayn Jun 2020
Brown seaweed
Sliding in the echo
Of a siren’s long lost lament.

Through the ocean
Not a sound shall break
The fragile fabric of silence;
It shall stand for an eternity.
Made the first stanza while talking to a wonderful person last night. Thank you ——.
335 · Dec 2019
Anime
Ayn Dec 2019
Don’t say you hate it
Without having tried it first.
Hell, you might like it.
I doubt there are many other  people in the poetry community who watch anime... maybe in japan though... nah.
326 · Apr 2022
Untitled
Ayn Apr 2022
Thoughts lie adrift, like the mist;
Fading into the dawning light.
With this hew sun, I am blessed;
Renewal will come when the time is right.
For now, I must spread my wings,
Readying my soul to take flight
And bask in the vernal sunlight.
I’m alive, so yay! Working on being better now, it definitely was rough for a bit tho.
325 · Jun 2021
Echo
Ayn Jun 2021
The somniferous mist
Soothes my erratic soul
With a gentle touch,
Like soft blue watercolors
On a radiant white canvas.
321 · Feb 2021
Churning
Ayn Feb 2021
Within the midst of your lies,
Hiding among the corner
Of your drifting eyes.

I stand surprised,
Activated by what’s lost
Awoken by the cost.

These cold blooded veins
Warming to your pains
Attempting to hide your fear
Of doing man right.

Internalization taking flight.
I still am up and weird about what I did. it’s nothing bad. I gave someone a gift and it made them “disgustingly thankful” in their words. but still I’m in turmoil. Was it right for me to do that, from a personal standpoint? From an impersonal standpoint (not considering me) it was a nice thing to do. I do remember their reaction and smile because it made me happy, but why?
320 · Nov 2020
Autumnal Waters
Ayn Nov 2020
Green to amber,
And amber to brown;
Reflective blue
To a tumultuous gray.
Glimmering dew
Now a shining frost.

The sun,
Once beaming overhead
Now longingly gazes sideways,
Bestowing a more gentle light
Over the delicate landscape.

The marsh is ever changing,
But I feel the same.
I’ve been here for a year... it went by so quick. I’m amazed. I’ve written over 500 poems and used 11 thousand words. But I have a question: does the word count count how many different words I’ve used, or how many words are in all my poetry? It could go either way with me, so I really don’t know.
318 · Dec 2019
Untitled for a reason
Ayn Dec 2019
cannot publicly acknowledge the existence of angels,
Such an outrageous act has been outlawed by the council.
So here I am to tell you about these nonexistent beings.
They come from a place called heaven, a serene place
Lying in the clouds that do not fade; they are everlasting.
In heaven they soar free, using their feathery wings,
Which glisten like scheelite in the eternally dawning sun.
Their halos are a gold, 10 carats more pure than the element,
And seemingly glow, even in the most minimal light.

And their souls, as pure as a diatomic gas,
As white as the everlasting magnesium flame.
But most importantly, their souls glow like the firey sun,
Always ready to make us happy, and eternal in existence.

But I once again forget, as a note is passed my way,
That “angels,” in fact, “do not actually exist”
Signed,
The council.
It also says to stop talking about these forms,
Or I will be detained... then executed...
Welp, that’s a sour note to leave on...
Bye.
If anyone has listened to the podcast Welcome to Night Vale, you’ll know where my inspiration for the denial of said winged creatures. If not, listen to it, it’s a funny sci-fi comedy podcast. Also again, look up any names that you don’t know, chemistry is pretty cool too.
315 · Dec 2019
Camel Notation
Ayn Dec 2019
My life is in shambles.
As destitute as that essay...
For English. This sounds wrong...
3 things:
1, camel notation is a way to name variables in computer coding
2, look closely at the haiku, i messed something up on purpose.
3, I may fancy myself as a poet (idk if i can call myself one) but ******* i am horrible at writing essays.
306 · Mar 2021
And The Flames
Ayn Mar 2021
Burn brighter than steel,
And stronger than a star.
You’ve stoked the flame,
Now take the reigns.

Subdued no longer,
Your ambition grows stronger.
You’re the unyielding flame,
Burn the fields away,
Nothing shall stay.

The match was lit,
The air became flame.
There’s only ashes left
And I’m to blame.
300 · Jan 2021
Untitled
Ayn Jan 2021
As the sunrise’s claymore
Is the blazing creator
Of our earthly existence,

The moonlight’s spear
Is the slice right through the vein,
Revealing what we try hide.
291 · Nov 2019
Bicycle
Ayn Nov 2019
Burned out matches,
old bicycle patches.

I keep these with me to remind me of my journey.
To remind me of the people I've offered a light.
To remind me of a few who took my light,
and rode alongside me awhile.
To remind me of the mistakes I've made along the way.

I can change who I offer a cigarette to,
a warm comfort along the cold trail.

The repairs are only temporary,
but I can never change the way I ride my bike.

Eventually it will crumble.

Eventually my broken bike will send me off a cliff.
I wrote this after trying out mountain biking (it hurt a lot). Cigarettes represent the love (romantic love) I've given others, and the bike represents my body.
291 · Jan 2021
Control
Ayn Jan 2021
Losing the last cord,
Left to sit and whimper.
Silenced by a culling voice;
Words escaping my thoughts
Like a bullet escaping the cartridge.

All I need is for a spark
To rise beyond the towering flames.
I’ve started drawing, because idk. I’m not great at it but practice makes perfect. Well perfect is a concept rather than a possible outcome for almost everything, so I won’t be perfect, but lets see how much I can improve.
288 · Mar 2020
Zero
Ayn Mar 2020
At the value of nothing,
Zero is a dead cold end,
Or the mark of new beginnings.

It all depends
On the arithmetic
That you choose
To use.
I mean, it’s true!
287 · Jan 2021
Edgeless, Nameless
Ayn Jan 2021
Silence;
Turning to dust in the gentle breeze.
Anger subsides
And the turquoise sea drags us down.

Through our ethereal existence,
We listen.
Through our heart’s mind,
We feel.

All we hear is the wind,
And all we feel...

All we feel is our silent suffocation.
I needed to write so I wrote.
286 · Jan 2021
Untitled
Ayn Jan 2021
The permeation of my shadow
Beckons a new dawn
Upon the moonlight
Which shrouds my soul.

But it’s only in the day,
That I can clearly see
The dripping carnage,
Which was once me.
285 · Feb 2022
Untitled
Ayn Feb 2022
Your faith in me
Scared off what’s left.
I thought I was free.
But you’re still a burden i heft.

You can never see this mess,
For I’ll hide it until the end.
Ill never be any less
Until my soul begins to blend.
276 · Feb 2020
Coincidence
Ayn Feb 2020
An opal glacier,
Raven in the night.
An unreceived message,
Screeching warnings so bright.
A steaming screaming ship,
Unwilling to lose the fight.
A hundred escapes too few,
Now they’re all packed tight.
A thousand and a half dead men,
Who on that night, last saw the moonlight.
A coincidence by all means,
Which gave humanity a great fright.
A tragedy yet to be repeated,
As we move into the era of flight.
It was, in fact, a big series of coincidences and cut corners that led to this tragedy. Horrible luck, I do say.
273 · Jan 2021
Me, Myself, & I
Ayn Jan 2021
Drawing out the vile ichor
Which flows through my veins.
Cleaving out what’s left in me,
And leaving it to dry.

As you’ve taken out my sun,
Only moonlight remains.
And with the rising night,
I enjoy glistening pains.
265 · Nov 2019
Giving my thanks.
Ayn Nov 2019
I give thanks to all around me.
Animate or not, it all served a purpose
A purpose that allowed me to rise
To who I am now.

I rose out of depression,
Out of a need for death,
Out of a cycle of seething hatred

Into forgiveness.

Into love.

Into life.
Thanksgiving, might as well give thanks! So thanks for reading!
261 · Dec 2019
Illegible Literature
Ayn Dec 2019
I took a class a few months back,
it taught me how to drive a vehicle,
the extracurricular activity is Driver's Ed.
I listened well, but I wrote better,
and in the notebooks we were given,
I had written poem after poem,
covering all the whitespace.
About notes for later,
and love that was now
(it still is "now"),
this book is full of literature,
but the actual necessary contents
are one hundred percent
illegible literature.
Found my Driver's Ed learning book to try and study up, learn the laws again. I took one look in, and the page was chalk full of little haikus and poems of other forms. I can't read much of any pages because of my mind that loves writing poetry like an average person loves to doodle. I'll post some of the good ones sometime.
259 · Mar 2022
Untitled
Ayn Mar 2022
I say good morning once more,
Your feeble pleas fall silent
As i exit the door.
257 · Dec 2019
Anxiety
Ayn Dec 2019
Side to side I look
Hearing the icy taunting voices
Of all these people
Talking behind my back
Ridiculing my every action
My every action is a mistake,
Even staying still is a sin.
My heart pumps my chilled blood,
Faster and faster
Until I feel my veins will burst
My mind runs faster and faster
Filled with terrifyingly venomous thoughts
Now they’re taunting me,
Pointing ambiguous shadowy fingers,
Laughing in deep, echoed unison.
My vision starts to turn as black as the figures.
I want to run
I want to run
I want to run
I cannot run
They will taunt me for running,
They will toss me around,
Taunting me and beating me,
Bruising me all the same.

Collapsing on the icy floor of hell,
My delusions got the better of me.
I covered my head expectantly,
Waiting for it to come.
My face was wet with perspiration.
But it was not perspiration,  
It was my tears,
I was silently sobbing,
Trying not to show them.
They would find out, but I don’t want them to.

The distant black figures are next to me now,
Crowding around me and pointing.
I’m now sure they exist.
Their heaving laughter rings through my ears.
Their breath hitting me with an infernal flame.
Their bodies radiate a subzero aura,
Chilling than heating me just the same.

The shadows start to replace my own reality,
I want them to leave,
I want me to leave,
Neither of us move.

Their ambiguous shape is standing inches away now,
They are still closing in,
Getting ready for the ****.
My delusions are reality now.
I feel I will die when they reach me.

Suddenly it all goes black,
Then brown
Then blue
Then white
I’m curled on the floor.
I remember my delusions and shudder
I try to convince myself that it wasn’t real
But I cannot fight the fear overrunning me
It was too real that time.
I know it only could get worse.
“Fun” hallucination that happened due to an unnoticed mental breakdown in public. I didn’t edit this one so sorry if it’s bad. I call my old (not really this one, it’s kinda new) poems that I didn’t edit raw copies, which means they are probably bad, but it’s good to show that stuff. Relatable poem? Prob not, but there may be a few other nuts (no offense) among this community. Wow this is a train wreck of a desc.
255 · Dec 2019
7. Don’t leave...
Ayn Dec 2019
Why did I need to leave
It was so much fun dragging the knife through
1 for every time I shakily breathe
On a wave of pain, we flew.
I have always loved that other side
It breaks me that I left
He just wants to hide
Leave me to carry it, to heft.
I have no words for my treacherous acts
I hate me down to every last shred
I want to rip them apart with... possibly an axe?
He means nothing to me, i will turn him red
If it’s the last thing i will ever do alive
I will **** him, or at least stop his thrive.
Said more as an aside than directly at me, but since it’s myself I kinda knew what was going on... also from my random *** suicide thoughts that came during thus time.
255 · Jun 2023
“Hey.”
Ayn Jun 2023
Him uttering these three time-ridden letters where more than enough to bring his family to tears.
253 · Jun 2021
Untitled
Ayn Jun 2021
A frozen visage,
Steeled through an eternal cowardice.
Stripped of glimmer and glory,
Your meek egotistical values
Lie in pieces; devoid of glory.

Words spoken a the edge of a cliff,
Fabricating the final push.
The spiral lies below,
So just take the final blow.
The term spiral refers to the golden ratio. That bit was inspired by the song Lateralus from Tool. “swing on the spiral…”
252 · Jan 2021
Current
Ayn Jan 2021
Mulling over past events,
I hear the simple breath.
A complex existence
Lulling me forward.
The ocean lies ahead,
But her breath pulls me closer.

The rising surf,
Crashing like a titan’s cradle.
Fear spraying my face
As she kicks up the water.
Tearing me from our reality,
While screaming a muting melody;
Dragging out the fear inside of me

My layers,
Worn too thin,
Letting her right through.
Piercing my skin
And igniting my nerves;
Numbing my senses,
And leaving in silence.
The wind is cold, is it not? It’s another thought. If you’ve seen my other work you’ll know what the wind is.
251 · May 2020
Friday, March 90th
Ayn May 2020
The leaves May be a May green,
And spring May almost be out,
But to me it is still March,
And April May never come.

May-be it will be March
Until I get back in August.
May-be March won’t ever end.
;) so that means in all of March I’ve been rejected 3 times, one of which I probably shouldn’t count.

Also I just realized that I have 72 followers. Thank you, you amazing 72 people! (I thought I still had 49)
251 · Jan 2022
Untitled
Ayn Jan 2022
Lightly gazing off into space,
Listening to the gilded stars
When the streetlamps turn to starlight.
And the dusted sky lights aflame.
248 · Jan 2022
Untitled
Ayn Jan 2022
A flowering stagnation,
Bringing silence to the air.
A listless trepidation
Descends into nothingness,
Like it was a grain of salt
Dropped into an auburn marsh.
Sometimes life just stops.
245 · Apr 2021
Broken Silence
Ayn Apr 2021
Fear sets in
Like a soft chill.

My comfort becomes my enemy,
And my silence begins to crumble.

Lost, cold, and alone.
All i have is the road ahead,
The hill behind,
And the mountain to the side.

I am stripped of all my pride,
Through the deafening emptiness.
Nothingness comes off in flakes

As my screaming silence breaks.
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