The world of sadness consuming my body, entring the relam of my soul, gards of my soul is tired, out of wepones, thier been in many battels, a blood bath became me.

Love is a fiction, its not the same ending for every love story, its what goes between the ending and start that fascinates me, how writers twist and turn to get to the same ending.

Depressed

Life is full of **** and i'm done with it.

I need sunshine,
I need angels,
I need Something good,
I need blue skies,
*Something good that I need.

My finger tips is as cold as the heat of hell,
Inhaling and Exhaling chemicals that is running through my veins into my brain, i call it anchor, heavy as it is.
a secret i share… "i write when i'm choking.." Shhh.. , the word of silence and a verb of order to keep the darkest secrets.
     **welcome to wonderland.

Contradiction that is my soul name,
strong but weak,
good but bad,
can be controlled but out of control,
happy but depressed,

LOST but LOST.

Condotti, Setting in a street named after someone mysterious in this century, or what more no one cares, filled with history, cared by the worst and the best hidden stories, those streets are filled with voices of the past mixed with noises of the future, siting here in the steps of *Condotti staring at the people that about to become from the past, at the people that will be the study of the most mysterious and un-logic humanity, even me i'll be one of those lost voices that been lost in the streets of Condotti.

A ribbon of darkness covers the heart of a prudent man.

"Tiny bubbles hang above me"

Trying to find your lost soul is like chasing those final words from a dying man.

Easily loved, and easily hated. LIFE.

I’m turning to an ugly beast..A servant for the devil..A black slave with a lost heart.. who are tortured by his lord.. A torture have never been seen or heard.. a lord who let his servants choose a path between light and darkness.. servants are blind enough to dig in darkness to find light .. but is the servants are truly blind.. searching for Hop,promises.. But manipulated by the devil..

he’s so vain so dark hearted.. so dark that he can’t tell the difference between light and darkness..so vain that every time he speaks, every word that comes from his devilish mouth it leaves a mark, it leaves heavy pain in my heart that can’t be healed..the only remedy for the pain is watching him leave, abandon my life…

i lost my soul in a place surrounded by darkness. i don’t even know who am i anymore, i’ve become alone, lost, stuck in a familiar body with a different soul.

a devil came to me in a form of an angel tempt me told me what i wanted to hear but in return he wants my soul, i start questioning how can i? how can a body live with no soul? is it my time of dying?, simply he answered me isn’t that what you people want? to live with no pain no regret? i stared into his red bloodish warmer than fire eyes, i knew back then it was no angel, but i couldn’t refuse his words “live with no pain no regret”,i lowered my head ashamed and said but i have no longer soul to give, my soul is broken damaged beyond repair, he came closer so close i can feel his lips touching my ear so close i can hear his smile rising and with a sweet voice so sweet like a song that i don’t want it to stop so gentle like a rain falls in a sunny day and said “i came to save you form your soul.”

I’m setting all alone in a dark room brighter than the path I have chosen.. realizing what I have done in the past months.. realizing what a pleasure nightmare it was.. not sure if I want to call it my dark days or what more my bright future.. mixing darkness with light is an old myth that been told to avoid.. I am awake in a dream within a nightmare.. A flaw not looking for remedy.

Darkness and light my only words of express, digging between the words of love and hate, can’t find the right words to find what I’m feeling, dealing with, I’ve got a devil on my shoulder, and an angel lost faith in me, words of comfort no longer affect me, they say the older the wiser, how can words be created in a world  no wisdom in ! Why escape from reality when there’s no point of living in your own creation, no escape from your mistakes you’ve done it already a black spot in your book, call me depressed but this is the world biggest secret that been in front of you since your heart has its first beat, I speak truth an oath from a devil.

war is starting, a blood bath but drains no blood scar’s beyond repair kills whats most important ,sounds of a crying conscious asking for help a louder and darker voice choking those who ask for savior, how can i? how can i?, darkness what have you done, should i serenader to hell, is hell the answer to my freedom or is my twisted mind who is controlled by the lord of darkness, Homer, Aesop, Hesiod, Sappho, Solon, Aristotle what should i do? i beg, lead me to find a way to get my conscious stronger lead me as you led heros, fill my heart with courage as you filled thy, battle of the heavens or is it what we call a weak alibi to stay in darkness.

Its time to move on, trying to ignore what has written in my book, an old chapter has ended and a new one about to start, searching for a new memoirs new people to live it with, not knowing if they worth it or not, but what i’m sure about is once again a mistake has been done and another wrong person i have chose. walk the path of regret was never my intention, but it was clear the path was fell with regret, “ignorance is a bless” what the devil kept whispering in my ear.

no i don’t miss you i promise, but i miss how you used to waste my time till sleep arrives, cause sleep was never on time..but now my only companion at this dark cold night is my computer and these useless words that’ll be published behind a scared, insecure 2aftermidnight.

i don’t miss the old days anymore, i’m thankful it finally became a memory.

i have nothing to lose how tragic and comfy.

funny how you’ve changed so sudden, becoming a stranger not only to me but even to your self, it is indeed a tragic scene.

change is good, change is growing, so grow fast and away from me.

i’m not afraid of what might future holds for me, i’m  more terrified of what i’m going to lose because of me.

they say you make your most mistakes when you're young, but i’ve grown before my time, made all my mistakes Intentionally,with fully aware of the consequences of my wrong decisions.

Deep in the ocean i walk into it’s darkness, meeting my fate.

sound of the devils laughter, celebrating their strongest soldier arrival. I see flames of war burning through the eyes of the foe, prophecy’s doubting the victor.

The darkest of souls rises at the end of time, only the ignorant of us are distant to fall for those deceiving souls, rise and born from the deepest of darkest places, manipulate our desires, tempt us to a forbidden act, forcing those weak souls to become one of their soldiers, a part of their foolish army, a helpless doom, a true tragedy yet to come, in a world fill with ignorance.

good moments has turned to memories that been lost and impossible to be found, depression could lead you to unknown places that only you can see it, separate your soul from your body is the closest thing to happiness, life, hope has abandon us, how can we feed our strength when hope lost faith in us…

I guess everything has it’s ending, now let me put out my cigarette, close my laptop and go to bed, to wait for sleep to find his way back to my exhausted soul.

To darkness I loath, To darkness I surrender, For nothing like darkness keeps my deepest secrets safe, To light I apologize, To light that has faded, To darkness I walked, To darkness I have chose.

Down to the bottom of darkness i fell, down to lord of darkness i have been chosen, down in darkness theres no air for my lungs to breath, chocking between the darkness that is surrounding me. Escaping from darkness to darkness, getting out became a myth, stories of an old myths holds no heros have been saved from the labyrinth of the dark.

The sun has shown her light to me and invited me between the darkness that is surrounding me , and i have accepted her to be my guidance to find hope, should i start my next sentence with i hope or i wish, that it’s not just a positive day that it’ll be killed by one of the darkness soldiers, or what-more a twisted game that lord of darkness is playing.

Dreams of young girls and boys, grew up between the happy endings of a tragic story, that is written by a hand who let mouses speak, and ducks suffer from ADD, an unknown was created by a man who died between the same walls i am in, staring at those walls entering the realm of his thoughts trying to solve the mystery of darkest most depressing riddles, i talked to his lost but not dead voice, leaving me with pictures moving fast, creating a message holds the answer to the voice’s master door, knees of mine touched the ground, a world of his own creation, a world he escape to,
when his soul loses it’s light, forcing that world to enter the real world, one of many “once upon a time” buried myths that hold no happy endings, merging night dreams with the real world is the worst forbidden act, walt disney you were so naive to coast your soul it’s home.

I escape to a place built by me. where the stars are bigger, brighter, warmer than the sun rise upon us everyday, i escape to a place where no soul can be reached but mine, lately I’ve been spending most of my time in my wonderland, more than the world that fill with chaos, it is just a matter of time and i’ll forget my way back to the real world..