don't you dare think i didn't try my best
if you want we can put that to the test
i'm running out of options, help me out
i'm about to leave, never be found
i know the worst is yet to come
and when it does it won't be fun
so farewell in advance
don't hold my hand, not again

don't run too fast, just wait your turn
don't fly too far, you might get burned
no going back, you can't return

i think there's something wrong with the air
i guess that's how it is when you're not there
a toast to all the words i've never said
if i'm being honest. how worse can it get
but i never learn, i fanned the flames
i sat and burned, it's all the same
i shouldn't care that you're out there
with somebody else, cause that's unfair
need nobody else, just myself, nothing to share

i ran too fast, i lost my turn
i flew too far, and now i'm burned
i can't go back, i can't return

i miss you
and for now that's all
i can do
hate to spend another fall
feeling blue

running around, at the speed of sound
hoping to find what hasn't been found
knocking on your door, but no one's home
nothing but the floor, where's the garden gnome
since you've been gone, i've been filling holes
but they keep being dug and i end up alone
if i see you again, what would i say
if i go back, can i prevent that day
is there even another way, another route
maybe i should stop trying to find a way out

chase you to the ends of the earth
just to show you what i'm worth
if only we could just stay
but it's so hard to meet halfway
it feels so bad when we're apart
wish you were here from the start
just stay with me, be with me
if only it were that easy
all the things we could've done
if our chances hadn't stopped at one
now we're miles away, you're yesterday
while i'm today, i don't wanna wait
if i could fly a plane, i'd be there right away
keep a place for me, keep waiting for me. okay?

a picture perfect dreamscape
somewhere for me to escape
away from the daily nightmares
where there's no one to care

i'll dream about a garden
maybe i'll play a martian
it's like i'm back with my toys
but i'm no longer a boy

i wish i could let myself grow
but i'm too scared to let myself go
dangling on a cliff without a rope
is this how it feels to lose all hope

the world in my head is infinite
but i know that i'm still limited
by my own demons, i'm hesitating
we're all wearing makeup
but mine is flaking
frankly i'm shaking
cause maybe i don't wanna wake up

and after all this time
can my life finally be mine
i've missed all the ******* signs
i'm surprised i haven't been left behind

so here i stand with you
the one part i could never lose
is it me or you that's hanging on
some day it'll all be gone
and i'll be alone again
and we'll go back
to where it all began

i wanna feel safe, i wanna feel whole
but some of these days i just lose control
is the version of a person i envisioned
my own desire or just another mission
in a doomed operation, in a doomed war
in a doomed campaign, never made it far
or not far enough, i didn't do much
i can't even gain my own trust
so that made me too indecisive
always feeling like i'm in a crisis
self doubt's a hole i'm too dug into
i'm this close to breaking in two
in the end, what am i supposed to do
if i can't decide for myself
how can i confide in you

The party's over now
The sun's coming up
Not a word, not a sound
Better pack up my stuff

I'm taking the backdoor
Keeping it lowkey
Cause I know you want more
But that's just not for me
I can't be what you wanted
I can't be what you need
I'm just hoping for something
That won't make me bleed

The first train is coming
And I'm feeling cold
I'd miss mama's cooking
But I'm just too old

Always took the backdoor
And kept it lowkey
Cause I can never be sure
That you'll be there for me
I don't think I want to
But it's what I need
Cause after what I've been through
I can't afford to bleed

I always loved summer
But I'm stuck in winter
I took some falls
Thought I'd seen it all
But I'm not even halfway
Still dreaming 'bout some day

Knocking on your front door
You'll be waiting for me
Be mine and I'll be yours
Like it was meant to be
That's all I wanted
That's all I need
But I'm just dreaming
I wanna go back to sleep

i can't hide, no more
i feel washed ashore
i wish i showed more
what is all this for

my head and my heart both ache
how many more pills can i take
is it all placebo in the end
can i become the hero again
or will i just go down a villain
and hate myself for my decisions
i can't be alone, yet i can't leave home
staring at these mold spots that have grown
even thinking makes me feel sick
sometimes i doubt i'll make it through the week
so many wrong things i can't pick one
i've been longing for just a ray of sun
happiness dies fast and regrets last
i even stopped caring about my eyebags
replaying those moments like they'll be different
and i keep asking myself what was missing

it was the last days of high
we were busy saying good bye
all the laughs and tears
looking back on our 3 years

time felt so slow then
but it's so fast now
if i did it again
i would still not know how

how do i step up
the shivers just creep up
never was good at confessions
never was the one to show affection

i never really learned
it's still a slow burn
another love song for another day
i put it on loop, i'll just let it play

i'd rather get missed calls
than get nothing at all
sipping tea on the balcony
thinking bout that night in albany
can't believe how much it rains
reminds me of the day before you came
keeping a place on my bed for you
keeping up the pace so i can catch up too
what are you up to? how are you doing?
i get the urge to call you every morning
but the mourning period is over
time for me to get sober
cause bottles are getting empty
and i'm beginning to feel the frenzy
tangled up in cords that keep me going on
why is your life so short and mine so long

I wonder who I would have been
If things had gone differently
If I had taken a left instead of right
And hadn't wasted all those nights

A dead end at every turn
But if I go back I will burn
I know there's a way to escape
But do I really have what it takes

If I fall again, it might be the end
All the what if's and the back then's
My mistakes are digging my grave
Just waiting for me to die in this cave

I have to get out, one way or another
Crawl back up or die in the gutter
Can't fix my wrongs, but I need to move on
Or it'll be too late and I'll already be gone

i lost track of time
i lost count of days
i would say i'm fine
but i'm in a haze
day in and day out
i already know
how it all plays out
nowhere left to go
boredom on my mind
i can't stay in line
i can't keep this up
i just had enough
need a little change
life can't stay the same

call me up when you're feeling down
sometimes it's hard to feel the ground
sometimes it's hard to make a sound
even when there's no one around

How many years has it been?
How many do I have left?
How many people have I seen
and how many friends have I kept?
I forgot most of them, the good and the bad
Wish I made more memories, cause these don't really last
All the time that's passed was spent looking back
I think I'm just afraid of always going off track

I don't know what I want, I don't know what I like
These days I can't tell what I want out of life
I wake up, I eat and then I sleep again
It keeps on repeating until it all ends
Is this meant to be? Is this it for me?
Am I really giving up so easily?

Being afraid of what I can't see
Being afraid of what hasn't happened
Being afraid that my seatbelts aren't fastened
A car crash in slow motion
Retired with no promotion
Even now, I lost touch with my emotions

I know that this is killing me
But I can't always let my feelings free
If I could stop time, what would I do?
I'd think more about what I should do
But I'd be here all day, just cut the crap
I don't have the stamina to run all these laps

I can't afford mishaps cause I know I can't go back
I only have a knife and I'm supposed to cut my own path
I wish I had a map. I wish I knew where to go
I wish this **** GPS worked off road
Pedal to the metal or take it slow
Either way, I have to continue the show

i'm falling for your smile again
i might die again, but that's not so bad
can we ever be more than friends
can you understand? i'm betting all i have
i might not be a super star
or own a supercar, but i'll try my best
i don't care about where we are
or how far, i'll put it to the test
bungee jumping off the golden gate
that's how i feel before a date
but there's no harm in trying
taking my very own leap of faith
sometimes i wish that's all it takes
and by the end i'll be flying

I don't like what I see when I wake up
Connecting my thoughts but they just break up
Every step's a compromise, telling perfect lies
But you know that I can't pull a wool over your eyes

GPS is gone, I gotta find my way
Can't get lost in what the voices say
Afraid of tomorrow and missing yesterday
Drowning in sorrow, I already hate today

I can't do it anymore, I can't open the door
Losing my center, lost sight of my core
Wasting my time looking back on days of yore
Looking for something that's still in store
Walking these aisles felt like a mile
Hanging on like a WinRAR trial
Why can't I let it go? Why can't I take it slow
Down a slippery ***** and it's getting cold
Watching people take my place, and thinking that's okay
I guess I'm just complacent, with nothing else to say

Watch your mouth, don't let it come out
Don't let them know what you're all about
Next thing you know they're gonna drown your shout
This is one hurdle you can't walk around
How are you gonna find your way out now

GPS is gone, I gotta find my way
Can't get lost in what the voices say
Afraid of tomorrow and missing yesterday
Drowning in sorrow, I already hate today

Call me when you're awake
Cause I can't stand when you're away
You've become a part of me
That I wake up just to see
Is it meant to be?
I dunno, you tell me

It's still so unclear
How I should appear
Am I coming on too strong
Did I do something wrong
I can't shake them off
Those lingering thoughts

I wish I knew better
What to do about you
Two of us together
Would be a dream come true
Don't you think so?
For now I don't know

Three's a crowd but this is way too much
It's too loud, inside voice is enough
The drinks stopped working
The chitchat got annoying
Now I'm trying to leave
It's getting hard to breathe
Not enough walls in this house
Not enough cheese for this mouse
All these noises I can't block out
Right now I wish I was knocked out

I forgot what I came for
Am I still on the same floor?
Tried to take it slow
Now I just wanna go
But it's still too soon
Room full of unpopped balloons

i won't be coming back
so please just make this one last
sometimes i can't stop my thoughts
sometimes i forget what i brought

stormy skies won't bring me pain
cause i'm too **** used to the rain
missed my train then missed my bus
twelve alarms just weren't enough
the world goes around while i go down
i'll hit the ground any time now

and when the clock stops ticking
and my eyes stop blinking
will the world be stopping too
and when the people stop moving
and their heads stop turning
will i be something too

will i be someone to somebody out there
to somebody who cares, to somebody somewhere
i wanna be remembered but i don't wanna stand out
always had a goal but it's never planned out
just running around for a little while
just running around, headless chicken style
what is life all about
what am i all about

i kept dreaming about that day
when i could finally stand up and say
hey world i made it to the top
then at that moment i dropped
and woke up to the cold hard reality
that it was all just a fantasy
everything was still up in the clouds
and i'm still here living in the now
never mind what i have in mind
i'm just wondering if i'll make it in time
how late is too late? how soon is too soon?
won't be long 'till my life reaches its afternoon
i got no other options than to live 'till i die
i need to give it my best shot and try
nothing to choose from, nothing to lose
i want to be somebody, i just don't know who
life won't give all the clues, it's not so kind
i guess i'll just risk it and go in blind

we haven't been the same
it's been years since you called my name
at least not in the way you used to
is it bad if i'm still thinking 'bout you

you're my ghost
you've been haunting my home
when i'm all alone
i still feel your cold

i've been drinking too much
i've been getting ****** up
been thinking way too much lately
been so long since i had a good night's sleep

lost in the memories of us two
dreaming 'bout the things we used to do
i'm in a slump without my muse
but trying to get out is just no use

you're my ghost
you've been haunting my home
when i'm all alone
i still feel your cold

cold inside this heart of mine
brain's on fire but not alive
just one night would be alright
why haven't i killed the lights

seems like i'm just moving along
convincing myself that nothing's wrong
then i look back and wish things were different
i always keep a certain emotional distance
always jumping between several distractions
while all the plans i made never gained traction

why does it feel good to be lazy
why is doing nothing so easy
i might have something to say
but i'm not gonna do it today

it's a vicious cycle, it never stops
it just keeps on going until i drop
the brake's cut, the pedal's floored
and frankly i'm just feeling bored
i should be my own savior
but i'm always saving it for later

maybe it's time to stop pretending
and admit that this problem's never-ending
the sooner i realize, the better
i can't blame the weather forever

i'm not a person
i'm your friend
keep holding me back
but it'll never end

i'm not a person
i'm your friend
keep shutting me out
i'll come back again

you wanted me gone
you wanna move on
but it never goes away
you want me to go
but i'll be here till you're old
at least that's what you say

i have no offers
no demands
please just hear me out
and understand

i'm not the problem
got no plans
but you know that all this
got way out of hand

you thought i was gone
you thought you moved on
but here i am today
erase what you know
and learn how to cope
cause i am here to stay

the butterflies all flew away
broke out of their coccoons
now they're all free to play
but in the corner of this room
sits a lonely caterpillar
wishing he could be someone bigger
i know how you feel little man
you're the same as me, doing whatever you can
only difference is you know where you are
where you're going, you know how far
how long till your days end
how long till you join all your friends
maybe you don't know, maybe you don't care
wish i could afford the luxury to be here and there
wish i knew exactly how i will turn out
wish i knew exactly what my life is about
a simple goal, a simple road
just one destination for me to go
must be so nice to have wings and fly
too bad we can't all be butterflies

i'm reading from scattered notes
cause they're the closest thing i have to hope
i wanna be strong enough
cause i know this road'll be tough
i want to hold on and not let go
but if i do my roots won't grow
i wanna leave and be set free
but i don't know what will happen to me
staying the same feels safe
but i haven't really got out of my cave
if i take a shot in the dark
maybe i can reach for the stars
and then i'll be out of here
if only i can lose my fears

what is it that you see in me?
what's the secret that make your eyes gleam?
what's the tempo of my heartbeat
that makes you stomp your feet
makes you nod your head to the music
or did i confuse it with something else
it has nothing to do with me, just you and yourself
why can't i see what you see?
am i blind to the so called best part of me?
you say i'm talented, i got what it takes
but self doubt makes me feel like a fake
i paint the walls with my mistakes
yet you only see the wallpaper i replaced
apparently i gotta be transparent
my hesitance is inherent
so i put my defenses up
in front of crowds i tense up
now i gotta fess up
sometimes i'm fed up
i had enough of it
of people saying i'm good
when i feel the opposite
i promised to myself that i'll be confident
but i got a history of breaking promises
wrote my life-story but i can't seem to finish it
might die heroic or live villainous

to love, to lie
it's something so complicated
to live, to die
is it so bad to be fabricated

spent most my life looking for something real
didn't stop to think about how i should feel
love seemed to be a goal, not something to enjoy
always felt like a kid begging for a toy
now that i know what that is, i can't live without
and the moment i do, i just want to shout
all my issues ended in piles of tissue
wasted along with the nights where i miss you

my phone keeps sending reminders
and i didn't even set my alarms
almost forgot about my blinders
they feel just like my arms
i'm living through the storm
so why does it feel like the calm

the part of me that knows i'm wrong
keeps convincing me that i'm right
i think that stops me from moving on
and spend more nights without the lights
i guess that's alright
i'll just stay out of sight

pride, the nemesis of love
and the thought that it's never enough
nothing is too much, everything's too little
shines like diamonds but oh so brittle

there are things i never got to do
there are feelings that never got through
words i never really got to say
places where i wish i could stay
i know good things were never meant to last
but i wish they didn't go so fast

sometimes i wish i knew where you are
so i could run straight back into your arms
but life always had other plans
and it's always out of my hands
and i'm trying to find, trying to find
some gravity
but right now i feel so blind, so blind
to reality

i'm so sorry
i never meant to make you worry
i just had no clue what to do
i never had someone like you
to be the anchor for my boat
to be the basis for my hope
all the promises that i've made
never should've turned to heartbreak
and i messed up along the road
now i'm trying to find my way home

i'm scared of the future
of opening my wounds
tearing up my sutures
of what's coming soon
of anything i don't know
can't tell where i should go
how long will this last?
am i going too fast?
the pacing of the show

if i think too hard i'll just freeze
and get pushed down by a single breeze
i don't have enough people who believe
such a short list that it doesn't include me
wish i could just run and be free
but nothing's that easy
afraid that this plane won't take off
too many tails to shake off
and i don't have insurance
so i choose avoidance
every time and always
until i run out of ways to say
sorry, not today.

sometimes i sit there and stare at a wall
thinking if all of this matters at all
trying and failing, losing, prevailing
shutting out the wailing inside my head
making sure that i'm alive and not dead
where did it go wrong?
why is it that you're gone?
come to think of it, we were a pretty bad couple
a couple of bad choices, didn't hear each other's voices
wanted more than we could give
and once we're done we couldn't forgive
thought i knew what i needed
thought it was true
but the right answer was never you

Been reflecting some things
Been affected by feelings
I came out wiser
But sadly not smarter
I'll always make the same mistakes
At least now my heart won't break
Not as much as it used to
Now I'm watching out for you too
I wish I could be a better person
I know that I'm flawed
I can't cut off my yearning
Sometimes I want it all
Didn't share, didn't care
and it left me with no one there
Learned it the hard way
By being a runaway
Now hopefully I'll be the reason
That you're gonna stay
And through all the seasons
We either change, or stay the same
Leaves turning gold, I'm getting old
And all the walls start to grow some mold
I'll always look back and remember
When we were together, and try to be better
So goodbye and farewell
To the guy you knew that came from hell

everybody wants to feel good
everybody says that they would
but sometimes life just doesn't play nice
and all they do is complain they don't get treated right
what happens when you run out of people to blame
what happens when you run out of hearts in this game
hate to be caught in a hall of mirrors
hate to be caught where your exterior is inferior
when you know your interior is superior
or to be more exact, you think that you're better than this
you think that you're worth it, you think you deserve it
but do you really if you don't work for it
not everyone understands what it is to feel like you can't
to feel like everything in the world is out of your hands
feeling like whatever you do won't amount to anything
when all you have to lose is everything
what's the goal? a wedding ring or a home?
or a six figure job? would that make you feel whole?
guess you'll never know. you'll never realize until you grow old.

thanks for the times that you spent with me
thanks for the smile that you never gave to anybody
i wish i could say what you needed to hear
cause you know i was always all ears
but things didn't go as planned
i wish i had taken your hand
and did all i could
i would, i should
but it's all over now
you're gone, to some far away town
somewhere i can't get to
worst part is i can't forget you
but i need to let you go
cause you of all people know
sometimes you just have to let it snow

i was sitting in the dark
just waiting for a spark
scrolling through my phone
asking if there's someone home
it's real empty up there
it's all air down here
they don't care about fears
they just stay and chill
they just want a thrill

i've been losing my mind
i've been wasting my time
i've been lying for awhile
i've been faking several smiles
i've been worked up over nothing
i've been craving for some loving
but i know i'll never get it
i know i won't forget it
while i'm alive
while i survive

i was looking through my scrapbook
never really liked how my cap looked
the faces they have faded through the years
yet i can still hear my peers sneer
a disappointment and i know it
afraid of choices and i show it
i don't know how to be okay
what do you all want me to say
i know you're watching, watching
my ship's sinking and i'm the ******* captain
so hold on fellas and don't let go
it's about to be one hell of a show

i've been losing my mind
i've been wasting my time
i've been lying for awhile
i've been faking several smiles
i've been worked up over nothing
i've been craving for some loving
but i know i'll never get it
i know i won't forget it
while i'm alive
while i survive

i think it's fine
i just need 8 hours or 9
some shut-eye will do me good
but right now i don't think i would
got too much on my mind
but i'm fine

i've been losing my mind
i've been wasting my time
i've been lying for awhile
i've been faking several smiles
i've been worked up over nothing
i've been craving for some loving
but i know i'll never get it
i know i won't forget it
that's if i stay alive
that's if it's not a lie

Look you in the eye
Tell a perfect lie
I'm not feeling blue
I just feel like the sky
Empty and open, with my arms I'm hoping
Sometimes I wish you'd notice
I know that it's hopeless
Why do I do this
I feel so useless
Put my heart on my sleeve
Just leave it out to bleed
I wish I knew how to let go
If I knew what I know now
It would've been better from the get-go
Let's go, what's the problem?
Can't tell, there's a lot of 'em
So afraid of what's at the end
that I never try again
I can't be more than just a friend
I'll just stop at that I guess

the spring comes and the winter leaves
now i'm missing the fun i had with splinters and leaves
crazy how life goes so fast when you don't notice
and everything just slows down when you blow it
i know it's natural, it's okay to mess up
but i gotta fess up, i'll never make it to the best of
the greatest hits won't include me
no one will ever introduce me
you won't ever know the new me
because the version you see will die eventually
buried in a forest of words, six feet under
buried alive until another summer
never stopped to wonder where people go
never stopped to think if people know
if people grow, if people change
otherwise everything just looks the same
it's all so plain to me, somebody explain to me
how you can stay sane doing the mundane
it's all routine, we're all just moving
on and on, moving along, until our next favorite song

i'm just the same as all of you
yet i can't see from your point of view
been awhile since i felt the ground
been awhile since i heard a sound
a grumbling, a noise, somebody's voice
something to pull me out of the void
awake and asleep, awake and asleep
sometimes it's shallow, sometimes it's deep
waking up's the worst part
the same as a restart
heaven or hell, heaven or hell
just ask my brain cells
need another hit, i'm addicted
i need to feel lifted
to really feel like i'm living
like a human being

or at least halfway there
it's the truth laid bare
whatever, i don't care
i was always taught to share
but some things i should keep to myself
wrote this out to read to myself
love letters to myself cause i got nobody else
there's no one left, no more steps
guess no one's right, you're all out of your depth
i can't get you so why would you try
it's only right i'm hung out to dry
i'm just venting, i'm just lamenting
so my thoughts might be offending
but let it be known these words i'm sending
can always be worse, you heard it from me first
maybe this will help me find some purpose
stop feeling useless and be a little selfish
hopefully i can stop acting so helpless

walking slowly down my memory lane
funny how these streets stay the same
yet they feel completely different
like there's a little thing missing
something's off, i can't tell but i know
somewhere there's a huge gaping hole
inside my soul? i suppose
cut off too many things just to be safe
now i don't know where's my own place
a place to call home, contacts on my phone
all those things would make me feel less alone
or maybe not, just a thought
am i really happy with what i got
i can't tell what they are
a new house, a car
they won't get me very far
if i'm stuck in my own head
and i can't get out of bed
like a record on loop
i'm standing still but still i move
i'm ahead but i can't improve
i know i need something. i know it's true
and maybe that something could be you

i was lying on the grass, high off my ***
thinking bout the past, if this life will last
and all that jazz, wondering if i'm going too fast
still trying to figure it out, what my life's all about
the quarter life crisis, i might not be at my nicest
all my friends drive a hybrid but their lives looking vapid
i'm not one to talk, i'm jack with no beanstalk
no golden goose to lay me some eggs
while everyone else says break a leg
i never broke any eggs so i can't make an omelette
but i'm on it i promise. then i ran out of the office
can't deal with expectations, cause i'm still hesitating
so afraid of failure that i keep on failing
it's a ******* paradox. now where did i put my pair of socks?

i don't like you
and you don't like me
it's never eye to eye
what you and i see
i can't talk nice
i never think twice
go on and on
bout how i'm wrong
if that's how you feel like
i think i did all i could
but it's clear you never would
admit that you hate it
why do you tolerate it
just don't act so cold
both you and i know
that it's inevitable
and downright impossible

you can't please everyone
maybe you don't need anyone
when you can't tell who to trust
if it'll all end up a bust
there's a limit to everything
right now i can't feel a thing
i can't tell you how to live
so i won't mind if you leave

i don't need you
and you don't need me
we can go our own ways
but you would never say
that to my face
i wonder what it would take
to give myself a break
can't tell if i'm satisfied
when i'm looking through someone's eyes
overthinking every decision
always believing i'm the reason
everything goes wrong
i should just move on
i should try to focus
on what's really important
if i can get pass the worst bit
i'll feel like i'm worth it

you can't please everyone
but even if it's only one
then maybe that's enough
i don't need too much
always needed one thing
something to believe in
now it's easier to breathe
i'm just gone like the leaves

i'm not gonna lie
used to think i'd die
always knew how it'd end
pushed away every friend
now i'm making ones that count
ones i wouldn't live without
made it with their help
and one of them's myself

you can't please everyone
but even if it's only one
then maybe that's enough
i don't need too much
always needed one thing
something to believe in
now it's easier to breathe
i'm just gone like the leaves

I feel like I've already peaked
And I still haven't found that fire I seek
Something that inspires and takes me higher
If I could see myself now, I'd call me a liar
I don't understand, am I not doing what I can
Is there more and is it just out of my hands
I'm clueless and useless
I feel like I always knew this
I'm not new to it, the disappointment
Too annoyed to feel resentment
At the end of the day, it's just me and the voice in my head
And it'll always say that I'm better off dead

I can't look
Don't force me to see
An open book
But I don't wanna be free

I'm holding myself back
By being hung up on my past
All my regrets are making me forget
About all the people I wouldn't have met
The things I wouldn't have seen
The person I wouldn't have been
I would never be the same
Without that bittersweet pain
It makes me crazy, it keeps me sane
It comes back every time I ride the train
It always rains before the rainbow, I'm sure
But is it a good enough cure
It's not a disability just my mentality
Every time I try I'm reminded by gravity
That I can't be the best version of me
If I can't let the old one go and be free

I want to look
I want to see
I've opened the book
Now I wanna be free

Round and round, and back again
Living a dream that never ends
Waking up, shaping up
"Try your best" is not enough
The writings on the wall echo through the halls
I can't move forward without looking back
And sometimes I lose track, and forget how to act
Forget how to speak, forget how to write
So many things I just can't do right
All it takes is just some rhymes
But I can't keep half-assing every time
My own worst critic, my inputs are cryptic
But I just can't quit, I'm actually addicted
Took some time off to gather my thoughts
Watching raindrops, hoping that time'd stop
My dream state is where I cremate
All my failed ideas, left from all the years
I wanna write something new
But I just don't know what to do
One of these days I'll say "never again"
And all of this will come to an end

every now and then i think about myself
about who i should become, do i need help?
every night i feel like i should start again
but each day feels like it would never end
when everything else falls apart
i'll just retreat inside my heart
and push you all away
one day, i'll be okay
i'll be okay

Something got in my throat
Got something to say but can't
Don't tell me
I'm falling for you again

You got me bad, girl
You really got me bad
I wanna get you back
Gonna get you back

There's something about your eyes
That got me in a daze
It's like I'm in a haze
When we are face to face

Don't you know
There's no limit to where I can go

You got me bad, girl
You really got me bad
I wanna get you back
Gonna get you back

Sometimes my hands are shaking
Feels like my heart is breaking
Waiting for your call
What else can I do
When all I want is you

You got me bad, girl
You really got me bad
I wanna get you back
Gonna get you back

Gonna get you back, yeah
Gonna get you back
Honey, I'll be back
Don't worry I'll be back

I was young, I was weak
And my future once looked bleak
I had no direction, no motive
Broken but no one noticed
But that changed with a look
When you glanced above from your book
I was hooked

Who could've known, even now when I've grown
That it would've been meant to be
Even the blind could've seen
What we had was real
And so I waited awhile, and you looked at me still
And so I waited no more, walked there and opened my mouth
I felt like I wanted to shout
From the top of my lungs, how's it going
My legs moved without knowing
My lips moved on their own

So we talked and we talked
Then we took a walk
It felt like a spark
Then we met again and again
Wasn't a matter of if but when
Then I showed you that ring
My heart could almost sing
And you said yes, as if I couldn't be more blessed
In the end, we tied the knot

At least that's how it would've been
You never looked at me
I never walked to you
There was nothing I could do
And at night I still dream
About what could've been

I got skeletons in my closet
But you already knew that
Anybody else
would leave me just like that
But not you
Oh, but not you

What do you see in me
I have literally no redeeming qualities
Some might call me downright silly
But yet you stayed
Still you stayed

I really don't deserve you
Angel from above
Why are you blessing me
This pitiful idiot with your love
Your attention and your embrace
I can't live up to that
I really am just a ****
But you love me anyway
And I wouldn't have it any other way

Sometimes at night I wonder when I'm gone
Will you all remember me or move on
All that matters in the end is my legacy
Let's just hope this story won't end up a tragedy
One word two words
Couple more then it turns into a chapter
Turn the next page comes another
The story of my life is simple
Just like any other

But is that all that is though
Can I accept it as it is though
If I write these words down will anyone know
Who will I be remembered as
A great man, a father, or just some *******
Will I be able to live up to my dreams
Or will it be lost to the past

Past, present, future
It is this thought that we nurture
That's just our nature
Against all the naysayers
Telling us to grow up
We hope that one day we'd blow up
And touch the sky
Hoping life would give us wings to fly
But I still don't know why

I once thought all it took was happy thoughts
But no matter how hard I fought
I couldn't make these voices stop
Sowing doubts in my head
Saying my life will be a flop

Don't know who to trust
Don't know what to do
Don't know how to get through this
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs
Throwing up my fists in the air
As if to fight an enemy that's not there
But I know exactly where he is
The enemy's inside
And that's the best place to hide

Sleep my dear
Cause the demons are near
No they can't touch you
But they'll hurt you just the same
No you're not to blame
You're just caught up in this wicked game
Like all of us
Oh, like all of us

But be strong, love
Just give your all
That's enough
Stay alive
and that's enough
You got your role I got mine
And I've got to stay tough
For the both of us
For the both of us
I hope that'll be enough

Is there something I could've done
Is there anyway I could've won
To change the results
Was it ever my fault
So close yet so far
So close to unlocking the door
To that place we'd always dreamed of
To that place we call could have

But now I fall apart
Shards of glass inside my heart
Deep in my core
Oh, I'd never felt this before
Deep in my core
So once again, I fall apart

Did you think this was a game
You fooled me twice and I took all the shame
You never said hello, only goodbye
And left me wondering why
Wished I could go on
But really I just wanna be gone
From you and from this place
And that's just great
You be you, I'll be me
At least now I'm free

Wait wait and waiting
All hope seems like they're fading
It's just me and the night
And this thought wondering why
All through the night
All through the night

I'm not asleep but not entirely awake
But what difference does it make
Whether you're drunk or you're sober
Doesn't change the fact it's over
I turned to my right hoping to see you under the covers
But you weren't there
Right, you were never there
Not anymore
I guess it's fair, but I just can't bear
Losing you so suddenly
I can't sleep
And I need you here with me
Be there for me
Even if I was never there for you

I guess that's true
And I'm sorry for that
You never realized what you had
Until it's gone just like that

And now you're gone gone gone away
Even before I got to say
That I love you, baby
And it's driving me crazy
All these regrets
Why can't I forget
It's messing with my head
Why is life always so cruel
Especially to angels like you
But there's nothing I can do

Ain't no feeling like the holidays
A perfect winter getaway
When you don't wanna leave
and just wanna stay
And a cup of hot cocoa
And the heat of the stove
Ain't that feeling grand

On this cold winter hue
I'll write a cold winter blues
Something for me and you
Come let us heat up the room
Just you and me
Just you and me
Right by the Christmas tree