For those fortunate hearts
Who ignore the feeling
And for those unfortunate ones
Who impose the feeling
You'll know.

It is like forgetting the lyrics
Of your favourite song.
It is like having a cough
That just won't give up.
It is like every punch in the face
You've ever had and will ever have.
It is like forgetting midsentence
The last line of your essence.
It is like not being able to draw
What seemed perfect in your mind.
It is like the feeling you get
When you are strucked by the wind.
It is like spilling something
In your favourite shirt.
It is like a deep ache
You can't locate.
It is like loosing the last piece
Of a 1000 pieces puzzle.
It feels like falling
Without an end nor beginning

If you love someone who won't love you back.
You'll know.
It feels like everything you can think of.
Except for being loved back.

Why can't I lie?
And pretend I'm fine and I'm not hurt at all.
Why can't I lie?
And say I don't miss you anymore and I'm not lost.
Why can't I lie?
And act as if you were nothing and I'm alright.
Why can't I lie the way you do?
Maybe because you are not lying.

She's looking in the mirror,
Getting ready to hit the club,
Smokey eyes on point,
She's just trying to let go
Of what she keeps inside.

Prettier than her surroundings,
But still lists her flaws upon her soul,
If only she knew,
That the sun battles the moon,
To see her first.

So bright, so great,
Her smile lights up the sky.

Everyday her spirit fights,
A battle she knows well,
Fearing to grasp,
The reaching hand.

A soul so pure,
You can see it clear,
While she's looking in the mirror.

It wakes me in the morning
The song you dedicated
Now some would say this is obsession
But I beg to disagree
My mind knows well that you are his
But my heart keeps you near
And I'm sorry for the inconvinience
I swear I've tried to unlove you
And I've tried to ignore you and forget you
But my heart keeps on betting on you
We both know you'll never read
All the poems I lay here,
So grant me this reception
It's all I got from your deception.

I've loved the wrong people
But I've loved them right
I've learned how to love
The people I shouldn't have
I've given up my heart
I've shown up my art
Expected what they couldn't give
But I've done it right
I've loved purely and bravely
But the direction was misguided
But I can't help to fanthom
That maybe one day
The right person will show
And I won't love him right.

If I had known it was the last time.
I would've kissed you less harder.
And more kinder.
I would've looked you in the eyes
And felt my melting ice.
I would've felt your skin.
And felt the lightning.
I would've told you
I loved you.
If I had known it was the last time.
It wouldn't had been the last time.

Let it be prismatic,
Make it enigmatic,
You can even let it be exotic,
Avoid allowing it to be toxic,
Don't be like an alcoholic,
And don't let it turn melancholic,
For god's sake make it romantic
But make it happen.

We'll smile for the camera
Smile for the picture,
Then why won't we smile
When we see our reflection?
We'll held our cups up
And scream 'cheers' together
But we are not cheering,
We are actually trying
To clear up our conscience.
We'll discuss about ***
Like we are the masters
But the truth is,
We are still not over
Our last ex.
We act so precocious
To start the next stage
But we are not conscious yet
To leave this stage.
We should stop expecting
To do what we see
We are still on time
To change
What others will see.

This pride tastes sour,
and the dignity bittersweet,
and all I can taste
is your lips touching mine.

All I can feel is
our skin so tight together and,
your voice saying
our hands fitted perfectly.

Where are they now?
I can't even recognize
myself without you
or trust the decisions I made
when I was high
with your smell.

It is like a facade that
has fallen  and,
I'm staring at the
same black wall, I
thought had left, but
in fact it never left.

It wasn't real
and yet
this broken heart, is
killing me
though.

Tirelessly, waiting,
For another week or so.
Listening to the silly advice,
That true love comes only for,
Those who wait.

All it takes is a word from him
A romantic speech,
A caring phrase,
To keep me hanging,
To this weird love.

I've been waiting, for him,
To be my true love,
Or the real one to show,
But it seems as if,
Whoever it is,
Still thrives for another.

I dream of his voice,
Whispering in my ear,
All those words,
I long to hear.

The feeling of kisses given,
Makes my heart drum,
Like with no other.

I could wait on,
But I can't keep following,
This old advice,
It leaves me cold,
When all I want is your heat.

Why should we keep on waiting?
I'm done with complications,
Be with me.

You asked me to wait
So I did.

Small,
Cold
Was the table.

Big.
Crowded
Was the place.

Black.
Hot
Was your coffee

Steam floating from it
And just like fog
it dissappeared.

Black,
Cold
Was your coffee

Big,
Empty
Was the place

Long,
Sad
Was my waiting.

I blame my mind
For believing my heart
And picturing a future
That was only a dream.

I blame my lips
For believing my heart
And surrender to yours
When you had another.

I blame my eyes
For believing my heart
And ignore the truth
That you weren't mine.

I blame myself
For loosing you
And letting you go
When I did nothing wrong.

I will keep blaming
Everything but
My stupid
Careless
Wrecked heart.

I can still trace,
Where his hands were last night,
I can still picture,
His chest and how it felt,
I can still taste,
His *** growing in my mouth,
I can still feel,
His body perched up on me,
I can still recall,
His voice, grunting in pleasure.

But his face I can't remember,
Neither his name I could tell.

It is all about the memories,
That like the dreams we fail,
And the thoughts we will not share,
They drain and slip through our fingertips.

Waking up from a sad dream,
One we would love to forget,
But love induced sadness,
It is hard one to get rid of.

The dawn rises synching with your chest
Your eyes shining from the watery tears,
And your mind is playing games,
It feels as if you are together,
Then reality and the dream world collide.
And you are staring through the window,
All alone.

It is all about the memories,
Those we keep close to our hearts,
Close enough to make us feel alive,
Close enough to let them hurt us.

That like the dreams we fail,
We forget and never go for them again,
Ashamed of the idea of fulfilling them,
Too frightened to share them.

And the thoughts we will not share,
They are rotting in our veins,
Growing hungry inside their lair,
Waiting for a chance to escape.

You know that itch you get.
When a bug bits you?
And suddenly there's a rash,
Not just in the place you were bitten,
But you can actually feel it all over you?

They say we shouldn't scratch them
or it could leave a scar.

So we try to control the itch.
And we focus to not focus in it.
In fact, it's almost impossible.

But then there's you.
You are not a bug.
And you sure did not bite me.
Worst
You kissed me.

And left something worst
than just an itch
or even a rash.

For the thing is.
a bug may leave a weal
somewhere in my skin
and that would be it.

But you are worst
than the most savage itch
and the poisonous bite.

You are in my skin.
inside my flesh,
deep in my bones,
locked in my heart,
haunting my mind.

I could take any kind of itch now
any kind but you.

And the truth is,
I've scratched too much.
and all that is left of you
is nothing but an infamous
itch.

Look at the clouds
Swimming in the deep blue
Of the sky
And I'm [not] thinking of you.

Hear the birds
Singing their lungs out
Preaching their love to the morning
And I'm [not] crying.

Feel the warm of the sun
How it ignites your skin
With the heat of the universe's stars
And I'm [not] ready to start.

Gaze over
To the boy sitting alone
Who is [not] in denial.

I love you
But you are his now
He can feel your lips
Whenever he wants
And all I have is memories.

I want you
But you are his now
Your smiles are dedicated to him
And not a single thought
Is spared towards me.

I love you
But you are his now
He can hear you laugh
And I must let you go

I don't see the point of your glare
Staring, and calling me unfair
There is no need to feed
My overflowing despair.

You say my eyes seem empty
And lack of emotion,
Well, it was no lie
When they said  eyes
Reflect what's inside.

I am not heartless
On the contrary,
I got so much of it
That I can't stand it
Feelling everything
I wish I was hearless.

But what did you expected
I was promised the sky
And got thrown to the ground.

Do you remeber the last time?
How you failed to love me right,
And how I felt like with no light.

I holded you close
Trying to keep you tight
With my head upon your chest
Begged you to remember.

One by one, tears flowed
And I felt as if I drowned
Between us there was no sound.

Felt your lips
One last time
Swore to keep
You on my heart,
But as I walked
I turned back
And you were gone.

I'll keep writing you
although I know
you'll never see them
not even a word

The sad part is
I got so used of
being ignored
that now I don't care

Now we are nothing
we drifted
and you are not alone

But thinking of you
still aches
just as much
as listening your name
or remembering your voice
even the 'if's ache

How wouldn't they?
when you first came
flashing
'Hello'
but left
without a
'Goodbye'

Left me to figure it out
that your heart
was no more
mine
and mine
with all the ache
remained yours

There,
In the night sky,
in the space between stars,
lies a dim light,
looking for its partner.

Flying in circles through space,
Floating still in the sky.
wandering around the corners
of the dreams of men
haunting the minds
of those who are awake.

There, it lies.
Lost in the light of its surrounding
slowly fading into a memory

Once it shined
More than any light,
but now
there's nothing it might,
since the light has died.

It turns exhausting
Over and over again
With no change at all.

Why don't you hate me?
God knows I hate this feeling
Of never being enough
To turn my dreams into reality
And dissolve my nightmares
In oblivion.

I can't be the other
I want to be your lover
But that's work for another.

My heart keeps beating
Like a broken record.

So stupid
That it keeps loving you
After all the waiting,
All the hurting,
With no change at all.

Over and over.

I had some letters,
Written with your small
Handwriting and,
Filled with promising moments.

Now they are somewhere
Where the trash went
Along with our pictures and,
All I thought mattered.

Conversations deleted
Sad songs play on repeat
Avoid your profile
I won't be able
To see you together
I've had enough with,
My ******* imagination

I've loved.
I've loved a dead man,
I've loved a warrior,
I've fallen for a doctor,
I've loved a musician.
But it is clear as glass,
That sorrow has
Been my true lover
All along.

So forgive me if I leave,
Close my eyes
And go to bed with
My other half.
And never wake up again.

Today I missed you,
My mind wandered
And led me to memories,
Of you, of kisses
Of vows forgotten
And broken promises

I thought of your whereabouts,
If your heart is being taken care of
If your smile is still the brightest
I thought of your voice, echoing,
Through my veins and bones

Today I missed you,
I promise I won't call, neither text,
There is a reason you are now my ex,
A reason with a name and last name
Any other attempt, will keep me lame
So I'll just think,
And miss what you where

You get there
by words unsaid
things undone
falling in love.

It is surrounded
by frozen smiles
haunting memories
broken promises.

It is made
by the sound of kisses
a big laugh
a dropping tear

It is life without you.

I'm stumbling like a toddler in a room.
My hands are on my sides plane-like in the air
trying to give me some balance, to keep me from falling.
My feet hurt and are clumsy, they're not used to this.
I'm using my father's shoes.

I'm wearing them to feel like an adult,
like one of those old humans who go and live an adult life,
but my father's shoes are too big for my baby feet,
no matter how hard I try, they just don't fit.

But I keep doing it.
I'm not alone in this room,
There's no way I would be doing this just for myself,
maybe at the beginning, when it was fun.
My family is staring at me.

They are all expectators.
Of this crazy show I'm directing,
Half thinking I'm cute for pretending to be one of them.
The other half's just waiting for the moment I trip and start crying.

My father's shoes are too big for me,
This adult mockery is not for me,
Just as I realize about this.

I trip.

I must say that it got me fooled
The road seemed straight
The scars had cooled
And the obstacles had strained

But the turn eventually came
And now I'm coming back
To the spinning hail
To my self attack

Further self,
I know you will get us there.

Former self,
Forgive me for getting us here.

So here I am, once again
Lacking all self esteem,
And dignity and pride,
But above all things,
Lacking him.

If I don't run in his direction,
If I don't hug him when he is near,
Is because all my loving,
I keep it caged,
Suffering,
Starving,
Begging for some love,
A kiss, a smile, a look,
Anything from him.

But I keep it caged,
For its own protection,
I'll let it die,
Rot and decompose,
A dying love is easier to take,
Than his indifference.

Ground of flowers, I seek.
wounds of lovers, I see.

Broken hearted, I fit.
Wars of hatred, I fight.

Lost in the blur, I stay.
Craving for more, I say.

Grounds, of broken flowers
Lost, in hatred of lovers
Wars, craving for more.

In-between, I shall pay.
In my dreams, I won't stay.

Love for you, I keep.
More of you, I need.

Soulless, I die.
It is all a day.

Let me give you some advice
for the next time you dare to say
'I love you'.

Don't flash it just because you are happy
or because you are just sad
or alone
next time you say those words
made sure you meant them.

If you are feeling the heat
between your thighs
say anything
but don't say it

The next time you say those words
I know you won't say them to me
that is a fact
but anyone could be me.

There is no need
To remember my dreams
I know what they are all about
Your taste lingers in my mouth
Long after I woke.

The swolen feeling in my chest
Is all I need to know
Another night has passed
I have been dreaming of you
Once again.

When I was able to remeber
Those dreams of november
I dreaded the time to sleep.

Now that all that I have
Is the dark feeling of
A forgotten dream.

I used to write what my soul poured,
Let the words set themselves,
Anguish and despair were all I wore,
A flame and a cig were my only friends;

It made me feel like Bukowski,
Drowned in words filled with sorrow,
With a broken heart because of him,
But now that it's all over;

I only write out of habit,
He took my poetry when he left
Like Alice through the hole of a rabbit,
And disappeared witht the perfect theft;

I'm trying to figure out
What to write about,
The new boy who hasn't come out?
Or the man who craves for my mouth?

But my poetry, my poems,
The only thing I was proud of,
Are the ones who suffer the most,
They're lacking the fuel that ignited them,
I let them all be about men,
And what was the cost?
I've obliterated them.

My poetry is dead.
Like my soul hopes to be.