I promise to be good to you
I'll be the guy like you've never known
Whose intentions are everything but anything negative
I'll take care of you from flesh to bone
I promise to help you rediscover yourself
I'll be the best friend who'll always be on the lookout
That despite whatever may come against your way
I will be here hoping to make you smile throughout the whole day
I promise to be your guardian angel
That'll guide you in your path
We'll distinguish what's good and what's evil
And I'll make sure nothing bad will be meant to last
I promise to take care of you
Most especially, your heart
That it won't be like an unfinished puzzle, broken just like the way it was once left
Because a heart like yours deserves nothing but the best
I promise to be understanding
Despite how complicated the situation may be
Because nothing in the world can ever replace the love I have for you
Even when your seventy
I promise to wait until you are ready
Ready to give the keys to your heart once more
That even if it'll take the time to find a cure for cancer,
I will be patient until the moment you open the door
But with all these that I've promised, there is only one thing I ask from you:
Promise me that you will remain even if time and distance permits us to come short and lack
For I've already promised one thing before all these
And that is to take the risk of loving you
-even if I am uncertain that you will ever love me back.
You never told me you were leaving, I waited for days, weeks and months.
You promised me something, do you recall?
"Life must go on" they say,
"I dont want to move on, so I'll stay"
Where are you?? I can still feel you,
Can still hear you, Can I see you?
There are a lot of people at the moment
Since it was a cold midnight on 14th day of March. Im at Mcdonald's by the way.
Intendedly, I'm on the thirteenth table
Good for four on the thirteenth chair where my bag is seating right beside me
While on my left is a mirror where I can see the gloomy atmosphere.
Just so that you may understand
I always write about one man
Except for this one anecdote
For comparison, I also wrote
It was one week before I left him
That I found myself on the other side of a door
Struggling against the brute force of a man
Determined to enter
To shout and yell and accuse and spit fire from his mouth.
Never had I been in such a position
My body trembled from the intensity, I tensed
My muscles and my mind
I held my own against the man who sought entry
Sweat mixed with tears on my cheeks
And in this bleak moment
I knew true weakness.
Pushed back against the floor
I scrambled for purchase
Cool tiles against my back
A reminder of my lack in integrity
Like a cold claw squeezing my heart
Twisting and morphing
If only I could lie still
He might not see me.
I thought nothing could get worse
And I had never been more wrong.
In two and a half years
Only once did I shed tears that scarred blood into my fears.
But now that man I knew is gone
And the reality that I divulge
Sees me on the other side of the door
Struggling to perform the simplest task of breathing in between the tears that threaten to choke and the lies that never broke
On the other side of the door I push and strain and my heart palpitates
A man so filled with hate
Is trying to get in!
On the other side of the door.
Promises of safety and love can only come with a promise of solidarity.
Treasure the first man on the other side of the door
For this man has broken only once
Whilst the other has broken every night
My will to fight
My only right
To love again.
Where were you?
Your promises were empty
Because it is now most that I need thee
When the fear overcomes everything within me
I slide down the length of the door
Sink into the floor
Wood slick with sweat
Throat hoarse from screaming
And where are you?
Feeding promises to another.
Maybe one that you can save
But your lies are all the same.
I should have learned the level of abuse I could take
Because once the rate had risen
I had learned it far too late.
I will open it and you may beat me
Until your mind is clear
And your love returns
Then we will both beg for forgiveness.
You broke that promise...
How can I trust again?
The nights were so long.
I was tormented by the bitter cold
Of a man who wanted nothing more than to hurt me!
The nights I couldn't sleep,
Instead I wept with the rain
Causing flooding within my very soul.
The days I thought would be brighter
But instead I was entangled in the thorns
Of the flowers that blossomed wonderfully.
The days I hoped would be safer
But your hand still struck
Shattering a girl as easily as shattering glass...
The day I was conceived
To protect me!
You broke that promise!
How can I trust again?
She took her time crafting you,
And always remember that every dime she made would go to you.
Her darling little angel,
You aren't even here yet but she loves you unconditionally already.
She is keeping on my toes, knowing never to cause trouble;
She doesn't want you to have a mama that is a criminal.
She'll always be carefully; not taken any chances with her unborn angel.
Even when she becomes a wreck,
And worries about all the unpredictable situations that shall come along,
She remember she'll do everything for her sweet unborn child.
She will always protect, and very neglect,
Even now, even when the sweet cry's become voiced into this world,
And she'll get to see her small one open it's eyes.
She makes a promise to herself,
That her darling unborn child will be loved no matter what.
You don't even know you failed your spiritual test?
Treated me like one of your side projects – left unfinished
You were surprised to find my self worth undiminished
You only devalued yourself and now your charade is finished
So take off on some other vision quest
You'll never even see how much you were blessed
Given so much more than you deserve
You could've had it all if you'd found the nerve
To keep the true course instead of swerve
Break promises and pretend you've done your best
Tore open my eyes and showed me you're no better than the rest
Just another coward claiming to be strong
And you proved to me that my heart was wrong
For my fire in your cold world cannot belong
You're not the hero I deserve and I won't settle for less!
Free Will overrides destiny
I remember when your words were a caress
But now that's gone and you're all business
It's not just warm touch I miss but how you were so present even when virtual
Now you're short circuiting the connection that was physical and emotional, allowing only intellectual or spiritual.
Affection requires all those elements.....
But you seem to have no patience for sentiment
You say I'm just nostalgic for the romance,
And these are the realities of a relationship at Long Distance.
So I wonder if I've committed to a love that won't last....
Because I do want the romance and won't settle for something half assed.
Where's the open hearted warrior who arose to love's divine quest?
Remember when you promised to treat me like I'm precious?
How quickly you forgot that vow
Or maybe you don't remember how
Because for months despite the miles we were so close
And I did feel cherished....but where is that man my heart chose?