My mamma has cancer and I
Haven't shed a single tear
But both my heart and mind
Run to you to feel you near.

You are that safe place
The haven to my chaotic surround
The chord I follow in this maze
My whole body aches for not having you around.

What do I do?
If I know you are not right for me,
If I know you love like a virus,
If I know you don't want me,

But

Yours is the hug I've been longing
Yours are the eyes that confort me
Yours is the only romantic love I've felt
(or at least that's how I felt it)
You are the person I want to be next to in this chaotic days...

I know it is sick,
You wrote me on my birthday,
And I didn't say a thing,
Yet here I am, writing you again

Where's my pride?
Where's my dignity?
You may ask.

My pride is right here, as well as my dignity,
They are here in this transparent lines,
They are in my honesty.

I didn't answer on the 14th,
Cause I didn't know what to say,
I felt the same cycle beginning again,
And I'm in no state for our silly games.

Maybe I still love you
Maybe I just need you right now.

I don't know what do I want,
I don't know if I want you back or
if I just want to feel again what I felt when I was with you.

I don't know what to do
Nor why do I think of you
I know you don't think of me back.

When in a blue notebook I,
Presented you the chance to change
Or be better,
You ignored the latter as well as me.

So I can imagine how this must look like
Again, my crazy obsessed mind running to you.
I swear it is not.

You might ignore this like you've done before,
Feel no obligation to respond
Feel no remorse for your actions,
Just do what feels right.

I'm just troubled, and I'm tired of speaking with you on my mind for months,
I'm setting it free,
My feelings,
My words,
And maybe, just maybe,
The last strands of you.

Like a lost arrow
You struck my mind
A gentle breeze, a certain smell
Lead me back to your memories
But you are out of my life
I doubt you will ever come back
So everyday it's new
I'm learning to be myself again
A new beginning
A new life
A new future
I'm stumbling around
In a crowded room
With my eyes folded
I don't know where to go,
What to say,
Which dreams should I follow,
All I know is that I find it
Quite difficult to beging again,
It's a tedious and
Uncertain life
Without you.

I'm afraid it seems that I,
Can't runaway from my sadness,
It is fragmented in my soul,
I'm tired of all the madness of

This world,
It is such a ridicule place
I can't keep up the pace,
With the race against our race,
There's nothing else to do,
Than keep chasing up the haze.

Looking up to the sky,
I'm yelling up at life,
Urging it to end,
I never asked for this.

The more I grow,
The smaller I feel,
It's time to accept that I'm
Not made for this world.

There's a new restaurant
Downtown
We should go, we should go

That town looks quite nice
During spring time
We should go, we should go

That place looks
Kinda cool
We should go, we should go

You know?
I've never been there before
We should go, we should go

"I don't want to be rude,
But I don't want to see you anymore"

*I should go, I should go

I hope one day you get to
Recognize and value happiness,
With whoever it is, even if it's on your own.

I hope one day you get to
Get rid off of that hidden depression,
That drives you to multiple raves,
But only keeps you in haze.

I hope one day you get to
Accomplish the few dreams you told me,
And all of those you did not.

I hope one day you get to
Feel as happy as I'm hoping to be.

My heart would wish for you
To realize you want to be with me,
But I'm truly hoping to get a real love somewhere.

With whoever it is, even if it's on my own.

If there were no time,
If there were no lies,
Tell me if you would consider
Changing up your mind?

If there was a place
Where we could escape,
Forget all the past,
Never think of the future,
Living the long eternal present,
Tell me if you would consider,
Running away with me.

If there was a way,
To ignore all the voices,
All the ideals, all of our pride,
Be just two souls in love with each other

If there was just love,
No richness nor poverty,
Only happiness
In our minds.

Tell me if you would consider
Loving me again.

Back away
Trace your steps
Turn around
And rewind your words.

Leave by yourself
Just like you have done before
Go and grasp your new love
For I am to weak to deny you again.

Don't come back
Even if I plead you to
Disappear once more,
You know how to do it.

Stop haunting me
Keep your distance
If you come any closer
I won't be able to control myself.

If you don't leave
I'll fall once again
Like I have done before
I'm not strong enough
To keep unloving you.

Nostalgia,
Would you keep me warm at night?
Not with tears,
But with embrace.
Nostalgia,
Would you make me feel again?
Not this sadness all over again
I want madness pure and loving.
Nostalgia,
Would you take me for a ride?
Not down Memory lane,
Take me someplace I can't name.
Nostalgia,
Could you bring him back to me?

Fourteen days
And I knew I liked you
Fourteenth
It all began
Fourteen times
I followed you
Fourteen days
You ignored me
Fourteen texts
You read
Fourteen lies
I believed
Fourteen dreams
You shattered
Fourteen times
I think of you each day

Fourteen months
Since the last I saw you.

For you
My best
Won't pass
The test
But if you try
I must not
Cry
If you don't get
What I try
To set
I'll have to change
And start to explain
If you don't set
And I don't get
You won't explain
Even if I go insane

When you look at me.

Do you see the boy,
Who played with strings?
Or perhaps,
Do you see the man,
Who'll become a king?

Do you fear,
Of the things I could repeat?
Or perhaps,
Do you believe the things,
I can achieve?

Do you see the life,
I cannot give?
Or perhaps,
Do you see the wife,
I'll never kiss?

Do you see the time,
I've wasted?
Or perhaps,
Do you see the life
I've chosen?

Either way you see
Who I
Was
Or who I
Will be
Will you ever see
Who I
Am?
Will I ever be
What you
Wanted?

I want you to love me
I need you to love me
Calm me
Don't haunt me
Make me whole again.
Don't just pop
And dissappear
Since a word from your lips
Will keep me on my knees
You may go
And be with him
Love him the way
I want you to
Love me
You may come
And make me cry
Then just leave
Without a lead
All I wish is
You could take off
With my memories
Whipe my mind
Hand me my heart back
But all I crave for
Is for your love
Your tender touch
And your voice
In my ears
Filling my heart
Making me feel joy
But all there is
Is what it was
And all there was
Is now there gone
With you.

I keep running every day
To avoid the ghosts,
Being careful with what I say
And with everything I thought of.

Mantaining busy my mind
Working
Eating
Drinking
Expecting
To someone kind
Who can stop me
From crying

But my heart is
A brainless fool
That keeps looking for you
Everywhere I see,
That keeps whispering
Your name
Between sighs,
Yet still inside
There's nowhere
To hide.

Maybe I died.
Maybe my heart couldn't take it.

What if I died?
When you left me for him?
Maybe I'm dead

I may be laying
Two feet under ground
While you lay in bed
Next to him.

What if it killed me?
And my heart gave up
Like you gave me up.

So this is hell?
It must be
Maybe I'm a ghost.

And I'm not haunted by memories
Maybe I haunt them

Was I that bad?
Is this the purgatory?
Did you mourned my death?

Are you even aware that I'm dead?

Maybe I died
Poisoned with kisses
Scorched by your touch
Shot with promises