My split surface
Your cracked skin
There's deep confusion
Without, within

Blurry views
Crawling clocks
Helping hands
Splashing rocks

Summer sadness
Sunshine blues
The buzz of drugs
The hum of you

Falling petals
Misty sigh
Unexpectedly happening
Before my eyes

Twirl, my princess
Spin around
Twenty fifteen
A friendship newfound

Gentle kisses
Midnight glow
Not the first
To let me know

Muddy puddles
My grey boundaries
I was out of line
Crossing out memories

My muffled moans
Your dimpled cheeks
Leave park benches lonely
For weeks and weeks

I do not know how to feel,
I do not know how to function,
But at least I no-longer dream,
Of serious self-destruction.

I dream of living anxiety-free,
I dream of compassion, of care,
I dream of being able to breathe,
Without choking on fresh air.

Blue lips
Slow hips
Sway away, darling
I need to relax
But I more-so need
To express myself
To dress myself
With a smile
Fragrance myself
With positivity
Your passion within itself
Is my favourite scent
It is sweet
Like recognition
For who I am
But gentle
Like your touch
Like your art

Blue lips
Beautiful even when hurt
Soft even when bleeding
Swollen with effort
Stolen with a kiss
You touch my soul
With less fragility
You are rough
With your ideas
Your beautiful ideas
Share your ideology
With me, please
Spill your thoughts
Onto more than just paper
Pour yourself
Into my heart
As if you haven't already
Come back soon
I'll be here, waiting

Blue lips*
You must remember
That beauty comes
After pain...
You may go through a lot
But I see only more beauty
Within your bravery
I admire you
I desire you
For you are strong, darling
You are fierce
Pretty, simple, complicated,
Like a silver feather...
You just need to remember
That you will not be blue
Forever.

Do your lips
Match your heart?
They're both red,
But different shades.
Does that mean
That they clash
With one another?
Or are they able
To embrace each other?
To embrace their differences?
Oh, what a wonderful collaboration
Of the soul...

Contradictory feelings...
The buzz is insane.
Squealing with excitement,
Although I feel ill.
You are extraordinary...
I want a closer look
I wish for better luck.
Come here, darling.
You don't have to
Hold your tongue...
I can busy it otherwise,
If you'd prefer.
I know I would.
We are so close
In distance,
But not quite there yet
Emotionally.
If I reached out to you,
Would you take my hand?
Take my hand,
Until you understand...

Anytime you feel lonely
Beckon for me to come into your arms
Catch hold of my hand in the shadows, in the back row
Don't let go.
Every day is a new day
Feeling good
Good feeling
Happy... Almost.
I* don't want you to leave as well
Just stay, please...
Keep your fingers crossed
Love the way that your dark eyes shine so brightly
My heart races in your presence
No good can come from this
Only few understand.
Please hold on for a little longer
Quit with the teasing already
Ridiculous, our circumstances...
Slow down, I want to know more
Tell me your deepest secrets
Under the light of the moon.
Velvet blankets, picnic baskets
What's next?
Xoxo, your biggest fan
You never did understand my jokes
Zzzzzz, goodnight, day dreamer...
Now I know my ABCs,
Next time won't you comfort me?

I'm no good at this...
No good at this at all.
I'm not ready,
I never will be.
I wanted independence,
Not neglect.
I feel really, really alone tonight...
Vulnerability at its finest.
Sweet, sweet pain.
Salty, salty tears.
1 year, 178 days sober.
I congratulate myself.
Last night was great,
In the glow of the moonlight,
To the rush of the waves...
The ocean waved at me...
And she smiled.
What a smile she has.
I need to quit,
I never will quit.
With a sigh,
I disappear into myself.
Who knows when I'll come out?
Who knows when I will be okay?
I better be okay, one day...