This is my favorite time of year
The one thing I live for
Is getting my annual invitation
Hand delivered at the door
It says "Dear Occupant"
or sometimes "your name here"
"We would like this chance to ask you"
"to see what's new this year"
"Please come to this year's Psychic Fair"
"We hope you will attend"
"Please RSVP by Tuesday"
"We'll see you soon...our friend!"
Dear occupant...how did they know
I'm unlisted in the book
My identity is secret
You can't find me if you look
I guess that's why they're psychics
They know exactly where I'm at
They know I'm waiting for my invite
They just KNOW....and that is that
Each year it's at the same place
Off the highway, past the mall
They always set up lots of tables
But, they never fill them all
This year's ad had promised
This year would be better than the last
So...I sent them back my rsvp
And I got it to them fast
I showed up in line on Friday
Not too early ....not too late
The fair began next morning
The ad said...doors open at eight
I sat outside and waited
Had my blanket, pillow too
I was there for oh....six hours
Before I saw occupant number two
"****" he said when he pulled in
"I was hoping to be first in line"
"Now, I'm gonna miss the real good stuff"
"I may as well have come at nine"
I sat there and ignored him
Knowing deep down that he was right
Then I settled down to sleep a bit
And help to pass the night
At seven ten I woke, all set
To get into the fair
I looked around and saw no one else
Just the two of us were there
I didn't mind, I thought...so what
I'm still the first one in
the others, just can eat my dust
Though the crowd, looked kind of thin
At eight o'clock the doors went click
The lock had been released
From somewhere in the building
By a switch inside the beast
We went inside and looked around
Two hundred tables on display
My heart was just on fire
This would be a special day
Tarot cards, divining rods
crystal ***** and magic wands
Harry Potter robes, more tarot cards
Crystal light strips for your ponds
Readings, Writings, images
Pictures written in the stars
They even had some dream catchers
You could hang up in your cars
I went up to the first booth
I met a psychic there named Joe
He asked me what I wanted
If he was real..then he would know
I saw comics, mind drinks
astrolgers, and saw lots of things to buy
But, every single psychic
Seemed a fraud to me...but why?
I picked up a blue crystal
Was told it would swing and show me things
It would help me to get centered
Good luck to me...it'd bring
I held it and I chanted
It just hung there on my chest
I said "This thing's not full of magic"
He said "It's just having a rest"
I tried again, with thirty more
they all just hung there like dead weight
He said "they all were swinging yesterday"
"give them time....just wait"
An hour passed, my neck gave out
They all fell to the floor
He said "don't leave..I've got a special one"
"Please try this one rock more"
I said that I would try it
But this one would be the last
I'd noticed more folks coming in
And a lot of time had passed
Again, it just ...well, hung there
Nothing happened...but just then
I sneezed and yes ...you guessed it
Nothing happened once again
I left and found a reader
One who said he'd tell me all
I just had to pay him twenty
He said the cards would make the call
A simple deck of tarot cards
All dented and all marked
Were laid out front before me
So in the seat I parked
He turned over the devil
Followed by the jester and the moon
I asked what these three cards meant
"He said, you might be dead by noon"
"or, they could mean something else"
"We'll let the cards decide
"they also might mean that you spent
Last night sleeping outside"
the next three cards turned over were
"A castle, queen and wreck"
He said that these tell me
"My kids have used my deck"
I left him there and moved along
I would give them one more chance
I tossed a coin to pick with who
I would dance the psychic dance
I made my choice and walked on to
A psychic known as Rosie
She was dressed in jeans, and tunic shirt
Just sitting kind of cozy
"I know just why you came to me"
she said as I sat down
"But, you don't have that much trust in me"
"You think I'm just a clown"
"Without belief the things I say"
"will not mean one **** thing"
"without belief you'll waste my time"
"and the knowledge that I bring"
I told her I would listen first
and make my mind up later
I liked the way she came across
I didn't want to hate her
She didn't ask to touch my hand
Didn't even ask my name
She said she picked up my vibrations
That way it wasn't just a game
She told me things I never knew
Some things I'd heard before
But when she told me about children
I then passed out and hit the floor
she told me I'd get married
that I was precise and very giving
She asked if I had teapots
in my house, where I was living
I told her yes I had some pots
and then I asked her why
She said each *** inside my house
Meant one child born for I
This is when I hit the floor
I got a bump that was quite large
I told her "I made tea pots"
"I have a kiln inside my garage"
I said "each *** is one new child"
she said yes that much is true
It was then that she passed out
I said my house held ninety two!!!

your feelings for me are twisted and unlisted
yet you're the person who keeps crossing my mind
I can't say that I never resisted
to keep our strings from being intertwined
but I know
the version of you that I knew so well
is no longer my precious freak show
you aren't my favorite thing for show-and-tell
anymore

I'm just

I can't feel my lips
on my face
so still
i cant move them
on their own
i can't tell if they are parted
i can't tell if they exist
i can't feel my hips or
my feet, or my lefs
i can't move them
i can't feel them

i want to break
i want all of the confusion, the disconnectedness
i can cry

but i can't escape this
and i can't can't escape this
there is no break

a million scattered shattered steps
stood stunning
chameleon flattered

I can't move.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6n_z-FdEkw&feature;=youtu.be
^unlisted

a human tool, a drawing pencil, shedding snakeskin cells as
lead from no. 2 pencil

am **** and blood, skin and hairless,
all-to-come-to-go,
return retuned, at their own chosen speed,
gen of regeneration of disrupted oils and heavenly blessings,
morning cracks and orifices, filling and emptying obediently,
to the tidings of the grieving gravity of my moon’s decisions
that govern the lunatic cycle

you may kiss me with all your heart unto a robust welcoming,
scorn with spittle and deem unfit,
I know the difference and it is inconsequential

see me as combustible or flat, airless and empty,
as a new or a two day old leaking birthday balloon, or a haiku
that makes the reader gasp for the reasoning for breathing

think of me as a meme who responds to the touch of
your nippled forefinger, but my powers are unlisted,
therefore unlimited

for I am neither cyber or cypher though aesthetically they
appear as parts of my humanity, a human machine
forever reprogramming to new stimuli sensating,
the temperature of your breath, the many odors of you
as inputs that bear newborn children notions in
my chested gas chambers, the belligerent bellum bellies of my brain

my digital describe in thousands of computers do hide,
but to comprehend the interacting calculations that are
my constancy and my inconsistencies, you must make a tour
if you are awake between midnight and dawn when from
wells the visions, the fluids - the words are drawn

they, the residuals of a man’s ******* with
other humans, kin akin, and the thriving discourse between l,
man and parental gods of invisible powers, that offers insanity
as a viable solution, to cracking the codex human DNA
in the vial labelled Medusa

Who else?

Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are ******
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted

So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted

Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted

On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I do not go, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted

Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted

Man I think I've seen enough of staring death in the eyes, cause couldn't disguise or even come to terms to emphasize  what was before my eyes, I've uncover the lies, made a paved pathway for the condemned to walk upon.
Depraved to stand aside, when we confide what left of us, words of this sort..to some wont comprehend.
unlisted.  Missed it.    Before your eyes.
          Harmonize the thought                           To later dismiss it.
     But we all know I'll reminisce it later.
To my twin, or wrath.
No difference of how thick the blood runs if my math is right I step foot right into your path.

First they broke up the unions, and I did not speak out,
Because I hadn’t yet learnt to speak.

Then they sold off the British – BT, BP, BA – and I did not speak out
Because I was only ten and no one would have listened.

Then they came for the coal, the power, the rail. We did speak out –
We held on to the post office and voted in New Labour.

Then we watched them PFI the underground, the NHS and schools
And we did not speak out, because we thought they were us.

So on they went and PFI’d Iraq. We did speak out,
But that was not enough. A million died.

So then they PFI’d the **** out of the NHS,
Some car parks here and there,
Some targets, some consolidations -
But we weren’t concentrating on that because -
Were we the baddies?

Then they came for the prisons, and the police
And even China had a go at our 5G
And then they asked the people how they felt
And used that to make them feel something else
And then they asked those same people what to do
And those people were very confused
And then a PLC stood for election
And refused to make any promises
Because promises are lies
And do or die
Before the 2020 tax rules
Or something
We got bored
And people voted
Not to have another vote

And I wasn't even sure
At which point it was
That they came for me.

But at some point.
They'd already come.

Lists of endless lists listed

Lists of listed horrizonal lines

Lines of horrezonal listed lists

Laid out lines of lists, row after row

Lines, lines, lines, lines, lines

Lists of lists, of lists of lists listed

Lists of lists not yet listed in lines

Listed not yet lines of lists listed

Lines, lines, lines, lines, lines, lines

Lines waiting to be listed in lines of lists

List this list, it hasn’t been listed in

Lists of lines unlisted, hold on I’ll make a

List

I let you into a very exposing and vulnerable side of my life.
I am very fragile and sensitive.
The more you claim I am perfect, the less real I feel.
The less human I feel.

Perfect is not real.
Perfection is a perception.
I don’t want to be labeled as anything that is not me.

I don’t like it.
I will not allow it.
I’d rather choke than swallow
Those thick sticky words.
For once I’m happy to be
A picky eater.

I am not a body.
I am a soul.
Words I have said before,
But now found myself shouting
Loud enough to have you back away
Far enough to collect some space.

Your thoughts about me
Are not reality, just a fabricated fantasy
Created in your head.
I am not a made up character
Or this fleeting entity, like a fairy;
I don’t need claps to exist in this world.
I don’t need your beliefs for me live.

My skin has been hurt again and again.
Through my experiences,
My layers have thickened
Now calloused, and stiff
Which is why I’m self-conscious
Of holding hands.
And you’re not the man
Whose fingers I want to be laced with
Or tracing the tracks of my spine.

I am a hand written letter.
Never delivered
With an unlisted address
And words still unfinished.
Save your kiss, lips, and spit
For a different envelope
Don’t spend your pennies
Or waste your postage
On the mail that will come back to you.

I am free.
I am air.
Limitless, boundless, and ubiquitous.
Toxic if overdosed.

I change, never staying the same.
I circulate the room, and cannot be contained.
And **** the day you dare even try.

Watch me overflow, and spill all over the floor
Creating a sloppy mopless mess
Oozing through the edges
Seeping between the cracks.

I will not be held down
Wings clipped
And cage nailed to the ground.
I will not be suffocated.

I am air.
Yet, I cannot breathe.

Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open...hands are ******
Deep inside I'm warped and twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys... nobody's special...nobody's gifted...
I'm just me warped and twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream..
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind...the numbers unlisted
Lost in someone so warped and twisted
On my knees alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone my mind has drifted...
Don't expect much...I'm warped and twisted...
Burnt out...wasted...empty & hollow
Today's just yesterdays tomorrow...
The sun died out...the ashes sifted...
I'm still here warped and twisted!

Throughout the day they chime
Telephone off the hook ring
one eight hundred calls are frequent
Unknown names appear periodically

Despite my number being unlisted
The owner decides to tell it straight
And it goes on nevertheless
To make him do the ultimate

Would pull the plug for fear of
draining the brain from restating
All that have been stated far too often
And that's the best choice to remain calm

This pulling plug thing works great
As the answering machine would not pick up
The intruder's voice thus stopped
Before it had a chance to irk

Throughout the day they chime
Telephone off the hook ring
one eight hundred calls are frequent
Unknown names appear periodically

Don't call Trump a chimpanzee.
Chimpanzees can't talk.
Don't call him a pile of ****.
A pile of **** can't walk.
Don’t call Trump an Orange
That would be indiscreet.
You see, different from an orange
Trump is in no way sweet.

Don’t call Trump a swindler
Take his fat *** to court
Because when he needs proof
He will always come up short.
Don’t accuse him of bribery
Unless you have the proof.
He’ll just change his residence
To another unlisted roof.

Don’t call him a squanderer.
He’s not if it’s his money.
Trump likes stealing from other people
He finds that hilariously funny.
Don’t accuse him of gross lechery
He feels that is his right.
Don’t appeal to Trump’s conscious.
He doesn’t have one quite.

Don’t expect Trump to speak the truth.
He doesn’t know what that is.
When they were passing out ethics
He was off taking a wizz.
Don’t whine to us about that ****
And how he disappoints.
He’ll claim you heard him wrong
And that is his only point.

Don’t hope everything will work out
In any way in your favor.
Doing what’s right for regular folk
Is not Donald Trump’s flavor.
Don’t look for anyone in authority
To rescue you from the dump.
And, of course, most of all
Don’t call Trump.

Winds still gusting and went to all your sites looking for words by you.
Nothing yet and I hope you are safe from this ice cold rain.
No digits so  I can't call your unlisted phone number.
I laughed thinking it impossible to like someone you barely know,
I no longer believe it's a laughing matter.

This feeling is tucked in I don't know how to express
This feeling is utter hurt
After I cried all that I could, my eyes still shed countless more tears I try to sleep, I have nightmares of so many fears
I walk in footsteps on an unsure path
My load feels so heavy I am not sure I will last.
I am afraid of life now that you're gone because I have always had a mother for oh so very long, you were my first love my first kiss my forever wish, loosing a mother is the hardest Battle, it's like I'm on a filed jogging bombs,
Because my heart explodes for ever on.
I miss you mum but heaven needed another angel, Call my mind but the number is unlisted, I will always hurt but I promise mum I will try my hardest to stay very strong.

She caught
you fair and
Square
The never_
((Singlehanded))
(Jingle ****-pit landed)

The napkin
crossed legs
Married
her favorite drinks

((Uncrossed or divorced))
Bachelorette
Never drink
and ride her
Corvette

50 unlisted shades
green drinks
Spiked
Too envy_*
Personality can win
One *** single
Emmy
So Cool and collected
He's so hot saturated

Her College Humor
Mom got ulcers
Such a bust of
tumors

Bring on the
Buzz Feed
Amazingly enough
Drinks are our
Drug need

Single she had ti
Married to regret it
Amaretto  went
Solo
Card game
Played upon like the
City Ghetto
In your mouth
Smirnoff__Off the record
The turn-off
He tried to win her
Such Sweet nuts
The olives Italian
Hey Juice horse
Stallion
The
Gala Ha

Ha baba
Shrimp and sheep
Pretzels lime twist
This is NY
we never sleep
Dogs Yen of Yorkie
Liqueur lime
his crime
Gala Forgie
Quicker and
City slicker
One drink
to pick Fergie

Big Daiquiri
Hot stuff singer
Never a
solitaire game
He got stiff
Frangelico
Of the Pinnacle
The ***** Princess
Lost her dress
Playing Russian
Roulette
Magically Mike
Came all over
Collette imaginable

His drink was
the hottest rated

Never by one
Bad drink
Sip to your drinks
Gala party tricks

welcome to my poetry page! i want to share with you guys all facets of my creative expression and interests so this is a little experiment and unlisted only, but in any case please remember this is my treasured and valued work and all poetry really is so subjective
<3 nicole


YEAR ONE

shoes on.
buckle, tie, a particularly satisfying snap.
foot out of the
door, heart against the world;
the pulsing beat feels like it might
hit the floor





--


YOUNG

When we were young
you told me you didn’t have a favorite place on earth
so you drilled a hole
In the dense black dirt
let down the rope ladder
made of fragile cares
i guess you didn’t make it back up here

you forgot to anchor it





--


NEW AGE
store bought happiness, sterile words, plastic hearts; manufactured, you and i




--


THAT *****
you laugh that cold coarse laugh. tilt your chin and sigh- ‘don’t quote me when i'm high’  




--



CHERRY BLOSSOMS

you were an artist
with paint smeared over your face
the brazenness and colorfulness visible in your gaze
you’d stretch out your arm
trying to gauge the right perspective
stamp a finger on the canvas if were all too congruous
your mark: a line of staggered footsteps,
haphazard and drunken; sideways
determined to do it your way


you lived life resplendent- often slovenly
the mess and the mixture
of a palette of the brightest hues
the wind whipping your face
as you screamed a new reckless dare
the way you laughed at challenge
as if it could give you no greater cheer
mocking, mirthful, reckless, morally pure
if i didn’t know better,
id think you didn’t care

you had keen interest
in old tapes, odd books, and flowers
writing letters, discovering shortcuts, and ridiculous puzzles
I- logical and always present
wondered what you were trying to piece together
why you would venture off into distant times and seek ways of wasting time
but you had a way of preparing for the future
investing in it and storing a safe
‘cherry blossoms’ you sputtered
your favorite flowers were cherry blossoms
when you said that i was indifferent
but when you explained their meaning
i could only silently implore you to be mistaken
—two weeks
of life, ethereal and bright, two weeks of light


we stood at the sea’s edge
only rocky cliffs on our coast
you gazed into the far distance,
waves lapping the shore
seagulls croaking their cries

i was reminded of your often soliloquies
moments of imagined tragedy and despair
when you would explain your paintings with a knowing
and set entranced and conflicted there

but you turned toward me in faked oblivion,
that i know were not abluvion of thoughts
a warm smile crept into your eyes,
a playfulness gently settled on your lips
your being lit up with rays
an innocence and ignorance
dissolved into your air

you gave the ocean water its sheen
a marmoris of glittering creatures in there
of what otherwise was a graveyard, a cold air
a grey calm, a great unflinching stare

colors- why were you so determined to die
they were your best known tool
colors- why did you not have more time
how they mask and trick
this fool

---




SOUNDS OF YOUTH
the first breath
clockringcrowsalarmtoaster click!
Heavyfootstepsloudfights and
flickeringthelightsplayingwithsticks
first kiss HAH i wish

star twinkling melodies

careful typing to you
(i hate wearing out my thumbs.)

the rush of the train

the toll of the bell

the raucous laughter of kids

cereal box shake

men’s loafer beats  

snip of hair 5 inches across

packaging tape unrolled

opening to go boxes

washing machine stop

bubble wrap pimples
water lapping my state
green lights to go  
homemade dynamite  
anvil clanging headaches
slow stirring of my thoughts
cycling my mind
silencing my heart


--




EIGHTLY

it was a swirling sky, so beautiful that beautiful could not begin to describe it, beautiful a word so overused that could not encompass our sky.
because it was orange around your head
you were gilded in gold by the flames,
glowing almost effervescently

It was cloudlessly blood red,
hugging your body fiercely
and flickering at the edges of you, like smoldered parchment

the blue, the blue stretched lifetimes and light years above us, it was dark and endlessly so, a black hole not because of the physical pull it exuded, but a gravitation beyond the guidelines of this world

beneath us, the lush grass cushioned our bodies and tickled our feet, not because it was particularly soft, but because we melted into each other and that made all the difference

you tilted your head and smiled at the boundless and infinite sky, painted in all hues, almost as bright as all the colors of you.

I could've sworn it was real

But the colors were a facade for the meaning of the moment, and it was almost as if you were color blind, blind to the beauty of the colors, because to you,
t o  y o u
the orange was a warning in front of your eyes,
the red was the blood you spilled last night,
the blue was the dark shade you always cried,
the green grass the prickling greed you could not hide

and I could not do anything
as I stood there and watched,
watched how you slipped into the sunset without a word
how you withered and shriveled at the hands of the sky
they strangled you and constricted
you just stood there, stoic, wordless
And fell backwards, tipping over the edge of the horizon, into the painfully beautiful sky.

it all comes back on the pillow of my bed
that day under the orange sun
i travel by train and plane, long days passing to meet you
and in that orange sun
We dance and dance
and it ends the same,
all too same.
a memory trapped in a prism, a colorful illusion.
the colors that fade, day by day

there was no goodbye at the end of our story
even though I try again and again.  
even so, I'll come tomorrow
so please come again, and meet me in this memory
for 8
∞


--




SHADOW

this shadow does not follow me
step by step, now forward now back
it is ahead of me, extending a hand
beckoning forward to the pitfall lands
this shadow is not the little voice in my head
it is the ghost that speaks for the face in the mirror
the more i deny it, the more i agree
with the words that i dare never to speak

a room with four walls echos back
with no interference, a straight linear path
a room with shadows devours the pack

--

By: Cedric McClester

Listen closely
So as not to miss it
If they come with a plot
By all means resist it
Nine times out of ten
Though probably unlisted
It’s government hatched
And also assisted

What don’t you get
They weren’t plotting ****
But isn’t that
The point of it
Though the fuse wasn’t lit
The bait did get bit
You have to admit
So in prison they sit

Hard to understand
If you even can
How they became
The Boogie Man
Or were entrapped
In the government’s plan
Now they’re doing time
That’s federal man


So just pledge allegiance
To the flag
Don’t let ‘em put you
In their trick bag
‘Cos life in prison
Can be a drag
Especially when you
Become a may tag

Copyright © 2015, Cedric McClester.  All rights reserved.

when you are travelers
your conquests are
passages highlighted
in yellow
dog earred pages spoken
in pictographs
but when you are conquests
with velvet letters painted on your back
rooms filled with red thumb tacks
girls with names scrawled all across
their thighs, passport stamps carried
from country to country
milling about with scabby knees and
raw elbows
a noh mask to hide your shame
and not your face
a push pin on an unlisted county
barely within a three mile radius--
he's a photo up on the shelf and
you're just another notch in his belt.

We know what reality
Becomes .....when the banality
Of everything
Has gone stale from overuse
Try to find  a spark of life
In what is rapidly
Becoming rife
Nothing is worth fighting for
EXCEPT.....FOR A TRUCE
But if you will
Just take a pill
And let it conquere every ill
Feelings ...that you
Just can't comprehend
And in this state of blissfullness
You miss your stop and then you end...up
Coming to the conclusion that you are lost

None of this will harsh your bliss
Unless you find ...that what you miss
Is destined to
Never ever .. Come Back Around

So if the army that you've unlisted in
Doesn't care if they lose
Or if they win
Is that the reality you think
That you have found

Because if it is then what it says
Is nothing but....
A pack of lies
Staring down the open pits
You realize that it's
What used to be your eyes

Then everything comes crowding in
Pushing you to defend
The status
That you never --felt
That you had earned
And then you find
You can't unwind
The tangled mess that you possess
Thats commonly  refered to as
Your daily grind

INDUCE ME TO GO CHEMICAL
REDUCE ME TO IMPERICAL
AS I THROW REASON
STRAIGHT..
... OUT THE DOOR
ANY SUBSTANCE I CAN FIND
TO HELP ME TO ERASE MY MIND
WILL SURELY HELP ME
FIND MYSELF A CURE

For all the pains that I have chained
To myself and noone else
Ever really knew ..that I
Even carried it around

The weight of the world
Wrapped around me like a steel cocoon
The only hope I can see
Is that someday --a better me
Will rise up to take what life will bring

Chrysilis is at the heart of
All my hopes and all my dreams
But chemicals keep putting holes
Chemicals keep putting holes
In all my future wings

⁣Open scene, we begin, lights dimmed, back alley vibe, ominous.⁣ ⁣⁣

Air thick with viscous mist, ambience anxious, overtone venomous.

A young woman walks slow, headed home, fixated on her phone⁣ ⁣

ambulance tones punctuate the foreboding sense she shouldn’t be alone.⁣ ⁣⁣

Discounted high heels click, sticking slightly to flag stones, pace quickens⁣ ⁣⁣ ⁣accelerated heart ticking,

we feel her doubt, poisonous fear of this, modern Britain.⁣ ⁣⁣

She cups her hands, lights up a cig, grabs a bottle from her bag, takes a swig,⁣ ⁣⁣

⁣tosses the empty plastic vessel to the ground where it sits on a bed of moss and twigs…⁣

⁣⁣and hurries home safely, escaping the scene of the crime, unconvicted.⁣ ⁣

450 years later, a bottle lid chokes it’s 78th fish, last of a long list of murders unlisted.

I changed your name in my phone a couple times
You haven’t been your name in awhile
From your name to “don’t answer”
To “unlisted”,
“He’s not with it”,
That little heartbreak emoji,
Just your saved number,
Your initial,
That stayed awhile when I thought we were vibing,
Then you got deleted
And I deleted the message thread along with it
I recognized a switch
You started moving different
Your last saved was “heartbreak on a full moon”
Now it’s just f* you