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Staff Sgt. Joseph D'Augustine
a proud Jersey son
whom Thou hast blessed
laid in St. Luke’s ground
for his heavenly rest
April 4, 2012

1.

in a far off province of
God forsaken Helmand,
our dear son Joey
met his untimely end

an explosive crack
a most terrible sound
felled a beloved Jersey son
to the cold cruel ground

working the live wires
of a well placed IED
a deathly burst killed him
it was awful to see  

Staff Sgt. Joseph D’Augustine
in solemn duty fell
fellow brothers in arms
will forever reverently tell

of courage and character
of a dear fallen friend
and how the valiant warrior
met with death at his end

for he was always faithful
to his beloved corps
comrades couldn't ask
a valiant marine for more


2.

details of his death
are not the real story
selflessness and bravery
are but part of his glory

is it brash to
question why he fell?
in a useless bitter war
an embroiled senseless hell

a generation mustered
to fight in the war on terror
serving four tours of duty
in a lost decade of errors

two tours in Afghanistan and Iraq
could a nation ask a man for more?
for he was always faithful to the call
upholding pledges he hath sworn

3.

the burden of war
to a  few confined
it rarely crosses
an American’s mind

incessant war machine
drones on apace
the horror of conflict
so cleverly displaced

with afternoon baseball
and super bowl parties
big disco paychecks
and other selfish priorities

pay hollow tribute
to dear weary troops
when valor is mentioned
we gather in groups

we’ll raise the flag
sing stirring anthems
than its back to the party
pay it no more attention

self styled patriots
wave handfuls of flags
but ask them to contribute
the zeal soon lags

its left to the few
to shoulder burdens of many
fairness is lost
its a democratic calamity

four tours in a decade
an inhumane task
burdens require sharing
its only fair to ask

Joey was always faithful
to the task at hand
willing to step forward
to serve his homeland


4.

in the wake of 9/11
a nation deeply shaken
young patriots stirred
liberty’s call not forsaken

a call to serve answered
to quell the rise of terror
a clear clarion alarm
marks the nature of the era

Joey boldly came forward
to train and learn
the art of warriors
his bright patriotism burned

deployed to Afghanistan
to capture Osama
routing the Taliban
without much problem

but a pacified Afghan
not enough for Bush
he invaded Iraq
another military push

we rolled into Baghdad
adorned with victors garlands
Saddam’s statue toppled
our troops were honored

deposing a dictators
soon turned to occupation
a ****** mission transformed
to build the Iraqi and Afghan nations

once honored liberators
now a conquering force
bestriding broken nations
on a civil war course

military industrialists
stood to profit most
sweet protracted conflict
record earnings to boast

lives bartered for lucre
a region held hostage
the conflict deepened
hostilities hardened

America dipped into
a great recession
the war machine
bled money and
kept on ticking

scooping up contracts
rewarding investors
the dividends of war
heaven sent treasure

continuation of hostilities
preys on a nation's youth
as casualties mount
ill portents forsoothed

a fraction of citizens
bare heartaches of war
gulping measures of despair
to guard a nations door

a nation always faithful
to the holy pursuit of profit
a highest citizens calling
put money into your pocket


5.

our beloved Jersey son
gave a full measure of devotion
in dress blues they shipped him
back across the ocean

on the Dover tarmac
they received his remains
for a last ride northward
to his hometown terrain

repatriated body
bereft of soul saluted
solemn escort knelt
hearts trembled, tears muted

a hearse for a gallant man
flanked by state troop cruisers
to escort the funeral train
assure an honored movement

one last trip up
old thunder road
the storied highway
Joey often trod

the last detail legged up 17
reverent firefighters saluted  
from overpasses
to honor  the woeful scene

as the motorcade passed
the Garden State Malls
frenzied consumers
failed to notice at all

busy window shoppers
didn't to turn an eye
as Joey rolled home
to the sweet by and by

vets interred at the
Old Paramus Church
gently stirred in their graves
reasons for war they search

Channel 12 Chopper
circled its eye in the sky
televised the sad parade
captured many teary eyes

the early spring blooms
colorful petals displayed
maples and forsythias
a royal carpet laid

spring remains always faithful
as the new season turns
offer sunshine and glory
as our sinking hearts burn

6.

motorcycle escort
northbound lane clear
rolling homeward
Waldwick was near

leaves exploding
green shoots budding
****** white maple blooms
natures accolades stunning

the oaks yet bare
just waking from slumber
winters death passing
a sad day put asunder

the motorcade passed
Joey’s home on Prospect Ave
few  envision lifes endings
this woefully sad

red chevy pickup idles
in hoop crowned driveway
never to drain jumpers again
departed children can’t play

the eye in the sky
framed neighbors in mourning
welcoming back a fallen hero
unsettled emotions dawning

neighbors waved Old Glory
from painted stoops and curbs
unsure how this tragedy
visits this blessed suburb

green grass of home
always flush with spirit
tears welled in the eyes
most difficult to bear it

last cruise of the town
sad neighbors stand witness
paying final due respects
and ponder from a distance

what purpose is served
by this man’s passing?
the dead cannot speak
rationale is for the living

the terrible herse
death circles our town
moves through our day
hope of spring drowned

murderer of sunshine
killer of young flowers
budding trees breaking
our hearts an ashen pallor

we remember the beauty
of Joey’s stout face
as it looked on your finest day
exuding pure honor and grace

old vets gather
donning caps and pins
boasting semper fi jackets
jutting tear dripping chins

shaking hands, giving hugs
bearing tattered banners
the hearse ambles onward
we head home in solemn manner

good folks are always faithful
where beloved ones grew
the death of our children
we sadly cannot undo


7.

the bells of St. Lukes
called out from the sky
platoons of limping vets
marched in with pride

pomp and circumstance
requisite dress blues
family, friends, townsfolk
overflowed the pews

doleful bells resound
tolling a mournful reckon
the cost of war mounts
a family’s loss beckons

the casualties of war
falls upon a nation's youth
a seasons page not  turned
a flowing wound not soothed

the wistful cornet calling
floats on the fluted air
the bereaved ***** gently sounds
a congregations somber despair

an unsettling dirge
the parish grows uneasy
nationalist bravado wanes
in the forlorn sanctuary

both church and flag
draped in colors of war
mock stain glass windows
communicants adore

is it a betrayal of the flag
to offer enemies
psalms of reconciliation?
where does true loyalty lay
with God or a warring nation?

afterall this is a sanctuary
where peace and harmony reigns
are we not called to beat swords
into ploughshares as the highest
calling of our Lord?

we are always faithful
to the pathways to war
when the practice of peace
is what we should adore

8.

coughing and whispers
incessant low murmur
a baby cries out
we sit and remember

the crucifers process
in solemnity to greet
subtle ***** notes salute
a coffin draped in Old Glory sheets

the beloved child welcomed
to his eternal repose
priests splash holy water
within the sacred dome

an amazing grace revealed
lifted by marine pallbearers
dearly departed body presented
gently placed at the altar

a grief struck sister
lovingly eulogizes
recalls tonka trucks,
GI Joe’s and cool transformers

a punch in the nose
an approaching wedding
beckoning Eastertide
vacation plans left begging

my second grade class sent
Christmas cookies and cards
to dear Joey and warrior friends
he said it warmed stark winter hearts

he was raised in this church
taught trust and reconciliation
the comfort of the Lords peace
may it surely go with him

for he was always faithful
to sisters, family and faith
his resurrection service
imbues sacredness
to this space

9.

sharp in dress blues
Eddie T USMC Gunny
big 50 caliber smile
offers his eulogy

Bada Bing Jersey Humvee
we called him Joey Calzones
good mood, loved sausages
he tickled the funny bone

always willing to sacrifice
loved the Patriots Tom Brady
a women dominated household
gave him a way with the ladies

his calling explosive ordinances
he said he was livin the dream
March 6th last time we met
knocking frost off cold ones
man whatta scream

a gallant marine,
beloved brother,
a sure friend
he was always faithful
I’m deeply wounded
by his untimely end


10.

the gospel read
the homily offered
Ecclesiastes wisdom
a time for everything
proffered

God never turns
an eye from the beloved
though seasons change
we are not forsaken
never unloved

as loss arrives
surely grief grows
turn away not
wisdom knows

in resignation
love lay dead
diligent intention
banishes dread

our rekindled hope
we rend and sow
our beloved Joey
knew this was so

our favorite son’s
example taught us
now rises on eagle’s wings
to claim his divine justice

Jesus faithfully tramped
the path to an awful death
Joey too fought the good fight
a warrior now gratefully at rest

The Lord holds him close
to the ***** of sure love
a cantors beatific voice incants
Joey’s spirit that forever enchants

The Lord is always faithful
to the bereaved and  beloved
no one ever forsaken
all unconditionally loved

11.

the Holy Eucharistic cup
affirms everlasting giving
tasted to nourish evermore
a libation for the living

singing the Beatitudes
praising peace makers
mercy filled voice and song  
pallbearers lift Joey’s coffin

off to seek his final peace
an earthly occupation ended
he’ll suffer worldly hate no more
down the aisle his coffin wended

the family closely followed
a mother haltingly sobbing
faithful marines came forth
to steady her wobbling

there is no sudden waking
from this terrible dream
the pungent incense rose
to the chapels sacred beams

the stained glass murals depict
the passion of Jesus’s story
illuming a consuming sorrow
in all its grace filled glory

the ***** of death slinks on again
we search for consolation
the recompense of honor blest
leaves a hollow heart wanting
no answers offered to quell the dark
of these terrible life’s moments
only the desperate need to hold onto
beleaguered treasure that sustains us

for we are always faithful
to the things we know
always faithful to the
things we refuse to let go

12.

the color guard and funeral detail
assembled in front of St. Luke’s
the cemetery right next door
the procession a short troop

the living will stumble through
the darkness of separation
seeking elusive answers
of poignant uncertainty;
all gave some, Joey gave all
nothing more required for his
journey through eternity

Joey will always be with us
his stories forever retold
as long as the machinery of
great nations engage
the gears of wasteful war

Joey’s spirit lives
in a peoples desire
for freedom, only if
our hope of peace
is greater than the
need for conflict

Joey’s lifes work
is sure to bear fruit
if those remaining
fight the good fight
by taking up the
task to protect and
expand the values
of liberty we
hold most dear

like our good
friend Jesus
Joey wears a crown
bejeweled with
a ring of thorns
hoisted on a
terrible cross
the sweet
incense of you
meets our nose
we inhale your
earthly presence
beholding beautifully
adorned crucifix,
a reminder of
unjust persecution
and a perfect
resurrection
yet this wretched
coffin remains

pledging allegiance
we rationalize our
stories, articulating
our small parts
in  heroic sagas,
reciting myths of
ourselves, recording
the grim history of
a young marine
surrounded by
a smart color guard,
feasting on todays
eucharist, this
days sweet taste
of  the daily bread
of human sorrow

The priest finishes
his graveside
commendation
of Joey D

Taps conclude
a wind rises
crows take flight
winging over
a stand of budding
Sugar Maples
exploding in white
blooms, reveling
in the glorious
sunshine of this
magnificent day

St. Luke’s stairway to
God Country and Home
smiling portrait of you
forever young

we surround your grave
to bless the earth
you've returned home
to your place of birth

our flowing pride
and salty tears bless
the anointed ground
that you loved best

a proud Jersey son
whom Thou hast blest
laid in St. Luke’s ground
for his heavenly rest

for he was always faithful
to the blessed land
forever at peace
in the soils sure hands

Charles Ives
The Unanswered Question

Oakland
11/10/13
jbm
Jedd Ong Jun 2014
Breathes through
A broken lung,
Gray air slithering in like
A snaking, sneaking
Through the street gutters
And down into a seedy underbelly.

From above,
You can see overpasses sprawling
Like swollen organs—
Cracked pavement,
Wet cement,
Heavy traffic.

In the thick of things
Is where the real soul
Lies:

Children playing hide and seek in
Thickets of rain and mud,

Damp yellow teeth brightening
Ashen faces,

Light feet doggedly dancing.
Not my best, but it reeks of home, so...
Cristina Dean Jun 2015
you will fade away
you will fade like the others
did too
you will fade, my SOS
and leave me with this island's truth on solitude

i rode as passenger once
in a boy's car
i had named Bessie
Bessie grunted and took naps
like a narcoleptic
we drove together
me and this green-eyed boy
in ol' Bessie
through the construction of the Yards in the summer
with our windows
rolled down
smoking cigarettes
under overpasses
on a highway bridge
the city swelling, heaving
over us
and the wild winds
splashing my face
hair tantalizing
impatiently over to his side,
my downtown apartment waiting like a desert flower at dusk
throbbing to bloom
David Bowie sang heroes and i believed the song
could never mean anything more
than our moment shared

years pass and summer nights choke me again
i'm in love again

thundershowers knock on my window
David Bowie sings
but i don't think of that green-eyed boy anymore
now, it's you
tall, spectacular man
spritzer of mystery magic from your hands
i think of you
but i'm alone in my apartment this time
i climb out of the fire escape
thunder cracks the sky
and i let the rain soak my bones
i want to hold you, but
you will not have me
completely
like how this storm
is finding
its way to the last inch of me

i close my eyes and
give
myself away


you won't be the last of them
i know
my story of heroes and lovers sits on the doorstep
of a vacant home

you won't be the last of them
i only dreamed you would
like the sight of a ship too far from shore
Medusa Oct 2018
You matter to me,
You art the ghost in coffee
Clouds whistle around you

Too much energy scares
Hoi Poilloi but we rule these streets
Call us out by righteous name

Love is all you have in the Swamp
I imagine it in the hot night
Running from New Orlins

Tide tryin to eat you
Water mixed with kerosene
There is suddenly no god

My three year old daughter
Left in that miserable
Water, and nobody did a thing

9/11 was a kind of blackened day
But when the Levees Break
Nobody gets out alive

Without money to roll
It’s time to yell truth of my city
Marie Laveau in all her forms

She cried with me
She held my hands and said:
Do not lament forever
Sorrow has its place & tyme

Marie Laveau comes to me now:
Saying Rise Up and Save This  City
Something so still, so solemn

Guards the city of the yellow moon

I feel it
Almost reaching it
Hands touch my eyes and
I know them

I dream of Big Chief
Who flew from Heaven
Bringing the saving of the 9th ward

Nothing can save the 9th
But Marie Laveau, both a dem Ave Maria’s
No god no Saints came marching
Saving my role on freeway overpasses

Left there to be displayed, to die of thirst
Where were you, oh God?
We loved you even as we died of thirst
In a country that could pf delivered rations to Iraq
In less than six hours.

We have been sacrificed to low cause
No happiness shall come from this
True badlands, had Saints, and Faith

Nature took but once
Government took it all &
Left us standing
Or dying in attics
Screaming

Save Our Souls
Man May 2021
the big easy
is hard lives,
what gives

this rainy city
so sublime,
it's almost a pity

that streets are lined with ****
pests and rats in the alleyways
how did things get so ******

or have they always been?

overpasses with people
lying underneath

so many homeless
it staggers the mind to think

bread bags and coffees
floating in the wake of the ferries

outnumbering 10 to 1
the loads that they carry

all the old growth
coming down

all the gold of their headpieces
tinfoil hats fashioned from crowns

no jazz or blues can save them
from the fate that waits

an engraving reading,
here lies what once was a haven
-- Apr 2016
The fog spread like peach jam
overtop the overpasses.

Deep inhalations
held in our tired palms
as we watched exit signs
pass by
and marked each mile
we could no longer turn back
further.

A colony of sparkling starlets
lay a glow on the dashboard.

A small slip of fumbling thumbs  
or perhaps a trip
in the wrong direction
sent me backwards
a tipsy turn
or subconscious fear of directions.

But soon,
she found herself trapped
between diluted affections
and a car headed fast
in but one direction.
Ju Lia Dec 2016
I was born amidst the city,

I am one with busy highways and graffiti carelessly scrawled across overpasses

I am alive at night,

Lights shine against bare skin;

I’m small against my backdrop

I’m one drop of water amongst a stream of people


I have lived in the country,

Where nobody could be found for miles

Where I was expected to rely on myself and grow into myself

I nurtured myself,

I killed myself,

I wavered and withered with the seasons

But I flourished


I will die by the sea,

Waves may crash against me,

But I will remain upright.

Salt water will heal my wounds

I shall return to nature

I will be washed away; yet eternal
Don Bouchard Sep 2016
If I may presume to summarize the concept,
"Eminent Domain,"
The Big P People own the Right of Way
And the little p people
Have temporary possession of the  opportunity
To get out of the Way,
Or to be smashed under the wheels
Of Big P Progress.

Appropriate compensation will be paid,
Of Course,
And living spaces provided
To the little p people,
While the Big P People thunder by on their new highways,
Overpasses, airports, causeways, and thoroughfares.

Reclamation will be done over the torn earth
To re-bury the unearthed little p people's dead,
To restore damaged aquifers,
To "replace" trees and grasses "just as before,"
Never mind the pipelines,
The concrete roadways,
The railroads,
And the power lines....

Eminent Domain...
Rhymes with Capitalist Gain,  
And little p people's pain....
Thinking about misuse of eminent domain....
Why?
Because
Of you
And you
And me.
Mostly me
in reaction
to the both of  you.

He's
got me locked up
Shot frozen
In the midst of worldly knowledge
And survival tactics
that I wish I could mimic
But that have me curled up
in the shower
Wondering
What if I never happened too?
Clutching the slick curtains
Wondering if I melded
into Cruella Devil?
And crying on a level that
Overpasses the physical
Because I know it should only be true.
And stuck
In the middle of my day
Questioning mid-sentence
Mid-conversation
if I am losing the sanity
I thought I regained
Over a year ago?

And now,
Because I dove in head first
into your endless pool of mixed signals
Even two years in,
I cannot figure out
Whether I am just scared
Or I am lacking in love?
That I am not sure
I have
Unless I'm hooked around his curls
And leaning into his lips
Or staring at him blankly
And when I stare
It only takes two
seconds to look
away , wonder
Is he seeing
your eyes
Through me?
Am I giving him
What you gave me?
Am I giving him anything
or did I give what little I had
to you?

Am I giving him an sweetly wrapped
Empty box for a gift?
That I may have mistakenly put
Unsatisfied lust in?

Or am I really scarred at all?
And maybe I never cared
at all
about either of you
And every tear was a child
Crying over her lost toy.

Or maybe
I am deeply sad
Because I am fussing
over boys
instead of becoming a
neuroscientist
and I let you tell me
that becoming an art teacher
wasn't enough.

Or maybe,
Neither of you were worth
my time.
But were necessary for me to find it

Or maybe,
life just is what it is.
And all stories
have at least three different sides
And maybe, sometimes
Words just don't want to get out of bed
to string together to make
my conclusion-less,
spineless
poems.
b e mccomb Sep 2016
eyeshadow ground into
a finely powdered bath rug
feet stained gold and as
straight as sink ringed coffee

(it's a perfect day
to run away
from all the crew neck
collars choking you)


fall face down into a
cornfield and climb
dead pine trees clear
up to the blackbirds

(i think you were once
upon a time the one who
never spent weekends
home and hurting)


i am not your past
not your mistakes
i am not who you used to be
but won't say it didn't shape me

(clattering red and
white checks skittering
across the floor as
hydrogenated oils)


i know you're
disappointed
sometimes in who
i've turned out to be

but i am also
disappointed
sometimes in who
i've turned out to be

(only ever thinking about
ceiling fans and my latest
mistakes or an odd assortment
of unspoken disagreements)


i can't breathe under
highway overpasses
in parking garages or when
my hands are made of leather.

(suburbia is just a
repainted mid-century
modern way of covering
up dysfunctional families)


here and there
then and again
i remember that you
probably don't love me anymore

i understand that
neglect destroyed you
but you don't understand
that involvement destroyed me.
Copyright 8/19/16 by B. E. McComb
DaSH the Hopeful Jul 2014
Do you know the feeling of holding on to abstract ideas?
Hot and abysmal
Whimsical fears
Dry and unenchanting miserable years?

Do you?

Or do you know the road of normal hopes,
Overpasses and classy folk,
Cheap sunglasses and average Joes?

Do you know those things?
Or does light bring dimmer views
Shadows of doubt cast around
A darker, livid hue
If someone had to die,
Would it be him or you
Or would you simply choose to escape and sing a hymn or two?
See forgiveness doesn't come to those who ask, ask anyone

Even me,

I have asked you plenty ones.
In hindsight, you will see
Not only he breathes
Millions do, and want to stop
Wishing co2 would fill each lung
Swallowing poison, inhaling fumes
Bringing cords into water
****** relics in piles
Belts cling to ceiling beams
Feelings etched into wrists, blown away and thrown
Before traffic from overpasses
Right now
He chose pills, antibiotics
They tried to pump it out of him
Pressing down his chest
They want to make him one of them
Beep… Beep…
Every limb restrained
September fourth, 9:42
Pronounced alive
sandbar Oct 2010
A dreary September day, raindrops the size of quarters,
smacking into the windshield at 60 miles per hour.
Passing through this subdued city, a concrete jungle,
grown quiet in the tempest.
Gravel & broken glass tumble over flattened bottle caps
& cigarette butts, into the gutter.
A lone man in a white shirt & blue tie rushes for his car,
stomping through puddles, newspaper covering his bald head.
He must be thinking about getting out of the rain,
or getting back to his office, his tired cubicle life,
or how he's going to make it through another endless day.
Selling his soul & happiness for enough money to support
three kids, his wife & his mother, to put bread on the table.
To have a nice little house in a nice little suburb with a
nice little lawn, a tombstone, a paragraph in the obituaries.
Now we're crawling along the asphalt, the scene replaying itself,
a different story, but the same, always the same.
A figure strolling between dumpsters, looking for a dry spot,
a blur down an alleyway as we speed by.
If it wasn't raining, she'd be on the corner with a sign,
living on dollars a day, enough to buy a few beers &
forget about it all for a while, until the next day.
To many signs with "Veteran" or "I have children"
or simply "Help." To many people with signs.
Then you really begin to see them, crouching under balconies,
one or two at first, do you really even notice?
Just a nameless name, a faceless face among faces, a storyless
story, with so many stories to tell you.
Mismatched shoes, a shirt to small & to thin for this
ripping wind, this freezing, tearing wind.
Under overhangs in any dry place they can find,
a kingdom of soggy cardboard & pipe dreams.
But this is nothing compared to the overpasses,
every single one packed to the brim with the homeless,
escaping from the downpour, trying to find a place to sleep.
The night is coming and the rains still pouring, and the winds
still howling, and I have a warm bed to collapse on.
I have food in the pantry & food in my stomach, & clothes on
my back, & hope for tomorrow, such hope I have, such illusion.
I remember his face, as we sat at the red light,
waiting for the trivial green to wave us on our way.
Old enough to be my father, huddled in his blue poncho, slick
from the rain, shaking from the cold, waiting for the night.
Beard like tangled roots, hair gray as concrete,
just like concrete.
His eyes told of emptyness, of routine, clenching that
brown bag idly, watching the world pass by.
Another name that fell through the cracks, for no particular
reason, things piled up, what could you do?
No job would hire you, you were just a pink slip, then a
foreclosure, then it all went to ****.
Your eyes catch mine, for that brief second as we pull away,
& I finally see your sign, such beautiful handwriting:
"I am human."
Dylan James Mar 2012
At six in the morning when the inches
of snow are still holding the sunshine
off with their vacant swelling hills
and troughs, I hear the passing traffic
a block east. Will the traffic stop?

When I say traffic, I mean the rumble of coal
cars two miles distant. I mean garbage
trucks full of yawning men I don't know
and garbage I've known for a week.
I mean the women leaving hospitals
bound for sunbathed sleep habits
and more long days of night. When I say
traffic, I mean the adolescent fox foraging
through the Baptist churchyard. I mean
the line of metal carriages trailing
from checkout line 10. I mean the blood
racing to my arm after we spent the night
holding each other.

When I say blood racing I mean the multiplying
and dividing of cells, beats in a symphony built
up, crumbling down by an ancient arithmetic
pulling us in, broken gravity we fight by holding
onto it, clutching it to our hearts as we step into
the earth.

When I say blood racing, I mean the tiny
blind lives bustling under flesh overpasses,
blood cells commuting perpetually even after
years of smoking cigarettes, lungs an oil spill
butterfly resting in the chest. When I say
six in the morning, I mean the dark hour,
my second wind, when I rise to clear our
tables and stack the dishes in the sink.

I mean the hour you finally went to bed
after we fell asleep on the couch, again.
I mean the hour I crept into the hall
to take out the trash, tight hand-rolled cigarette
patient on my lip.

When I say six in the morning, I mean the time
between the milk man and the sunrise, I mean
the minutes falling around the decaying beauty
of gold and scarlet leaves prostrate on cold
sidewalks.


When I say decaying beauty, I mean the wizened
grey tree, standing naked, no, stooping
over the fence by your road.

When I say stooping, I mean the man draped
in a scarlet vest and goldenrod button-down
wincing himself upright on the stool, unconcerned
with the dark pub behind him or the faces bent
through his glass in the dim refractions of the Open sign,
faces bent over mostly empty glasses, empty faces.
gabriela Aug 2017
YOU NEEDED THAT COMFORT DIDN'T YOU HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP UNDER ALL THESE OVERPASSES WHEN THE CARS DON'T RUN LIKE THAT AROUND HERE TELL ME HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE EVERYTHING YOU SAY WITH A GRAIN OF SALT WHEN I'M TOO HOPEFUL FOR THAT **** WE BOTH KNOW IT GETS DANGEROUS I HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND FOR HUNDREDS OR THOUSANDS OF YEARS BUT I KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT "STORAGE" AND MEMORIES THAT LIVE PACKED AWAY IN THE ATTIC AND ON GOD YOU CAN'T BLOW DUST OFF THIS ONE LIKE THE REST
i'm not really sure what to think of it anymore.
Mish Jul 2011
city lights & I'm
coming home, this
"who you know, now what you know" echoing
                                                 needs escaping..

in alleys/on rooftops, visions
             of reality: what real
                 reality is now a
fierce fight for what I know
       is good & beyond the afternoon,
       things really aren't that
       bad are they?

or are we just making
it seem like they are?

            always shining:
                                   overpasses, freeways,
                                   suburbs & subways -

city lights,
               in my veins like a virus,
               in my head, like a dream..
written about Toronto..when I was still new to that city... having left it since, I can honestly say that I'm glad to be back home in Northern Ontario, fresh air in my lungs and friendly/familiar faces close to me again..
Mish Sep 2011
I am the reckless voice of a thousand nights spent driving down
highways too close for comfort when hometown familiarity
was everything I was trying to escape
                                             only to end up face to face w/ cold
                                             concrete Bank Street(s) where reality was shovelled
                                             in my lungs, where fatality was imprinted on my veins
                                             & where circumstance became a real reason for
those overpasses where I constantly searched for a friend..

you see, the strangers I’ve met have melted into my memory
& given me such capillary strength that the whole world seems like
it’s right in my own backyard too often, & it’s never too late to
                                                extend an energy to save another’s skin..

warmth now pours from their eyes & I realize that it only takes a second
to change a life, a striving moment can be stretched out to last a lifeTIME!

so we survive in these streets of small towns or big cities
& we strive not to repeat what’s been taught to us by silver & living room screens:

I am the reckless voice of a thousand days spent walking on & along sidewalks
                                                                                            on dirt roads
                                                                                            on early morning wet grass
                                                                                            on those highways heading home
Tamara Fraser Aug 2016
I am astounded.

My cage has been rattled.

I am shocked, disturbed, dazed, fearful, isolated, saddened, used, violated,

agonised, tormented, defeated, sensitive, anxious…..

I am numb to the point of icy pain, hands wrapped around an ice cube too long

or drowsy and burning in the sun.


Slowed movements, hypersensitivity.

Tossed around like an angry wind, howling against locked doors and battered, stuck

shutters.

Adrift, skinned like game, on a still ocean sailing for nowhere.

Hunted and forsaken in a desolate crowd of onlookers, puzzled and ignorant of their

games.


This is for all the people we have failed.


Abused and tormented in sickening places and deserted dreams.

Alone and neglected, hugging the dirt in cold overpasses.

Starving and frightened of the guns that come creeping around the corner.

Intimidated and overpowered in darkened corners and pitiful shelters.

Traumatised and pillaged for their self-worth; their integrity stripped and naked.

Discouraged and silenced from voicing desires and fears and nerves;

humiliated and mortified in feeling a certain way, describing processes and beliefs and

doubts and insecurities battered away like persistent flies,

to masses of individuals too small and petty to understand.

The deprived and vulnerable, resigned to poaching and begging at your feet for some sort

of salvation, some help that you deny.

Those re-abused, broken and prone to retaliation.

The abusers and addicts, with no other faith to follow.

The destitute we turn from;

fear tactics of government and the impossibilities they promote for people.

We can’t help you.

The falsehoods we idolise.


The loss of empathy is so whole and catastrophic, lives are rendered pathetic,

belittled, scrutinised and judged unnecessarily for shell-shocked, domesticated,

embittered humans to mock and disgrace.


Ignorance and dishonesty prowling homes, and lives and friendships and lovers;

claw marks separating precious flesh from bone.

Those alone, locked in bedrooms, looking down at who they wish they weren’t.

Pawed and petted, fragile girls taken over by ruthless men before they cry.

Even in reverse, the vulnerable boys stripped and used.

Men in chains, abused and threatened and stripped of dignity, in yards and prisons,

in families, in offices and secret hideaways.

Runaways chased, pursued and shooed; harassed until beaten.


Turn your head and notice the scars they hide from you, sleeves rolled down;

the red marks and seeping blood from opened veins that you deny exist for people.

How real those demons are, how terrifying and ghastly they are because even you can’t

visualise such horror.

Blackouts ended in crashes and destruction and blood and tears;

drowning bathrooms, locked rooms, ***** floors and painful years.

Nightmares and paranoia threaten safety.

Agonies of the mind can never be realised, internally cutting.


You want to know what society is like?

You want to know how inhumane the humans have become?

Don’t bury your head in the sand.

You only ever paint what you wish to see, alone on your raft.


If I’ve forgotten someone, some place, some awful truth, you are starting to see then.

You are believing me when I tell you it’s all real.

What are you going to do now?
Mish Jul 2011
we march under overpasses much too low for our own concrete heads
w/ so little time left over to spend any of it thinking about our future
mistakes & what we'll never do about them.. a journey without
a destination, a marketed smile without a cost:
these are things that just don't matter (in a long series of ends..)

& you can tower all you want over zen skies, I will not answer the call
that is expected of me - change(s) flattened out the horizon & clarity
is my new virus, my new vision, my new void to fill up to the rim..

I have seen & felt the distance that is thrown on me once
that blue sign is crossed.. I want to shout at #11 for ages
because we can't keep being strangers in such a familiar place..

we can't keep being strangers around such familiar faces (anymore)
Charles Nov 2017
He used to walk back and forth across overpasses
You would too
When I met him he said to me,
“Have you ever been in Chicago in the middle of the night?
When the whole city pauses in between breaths
In between screams
Day by Day
We ******* scream
Every ******* day we’re ******* screaming
And when there is no more breath
When there’s no more light
We wait and we simmer
All the while the hungry commuters flit back and forth under the auburn aurora of our hopeful solipsism.”
I did not answer him.
He was not asking a question.
And then I understood why he used to walk back and forth across overpasses.
EK Mar 2018
LA is grey.
All asphalt and concrete
Overpasses
High rises
Dirt-tinted buses
The colors are too bright, in an unnatural way.
Smiles are fake and the thrum of life is auto-tuned
“Natural” is skimmed and trimmed and clipped
“Healthy” is shiny with oil  and goo
“Pretty” is doing what you’re not supposed to
They’re different because they all are - and thus surprisingly the same.
Empty, searching, tired of life’s game.
absinthe May 2017
incessant selflessness manifested is ignorance
opposite its notorious nemesis, selfish, insidious

let the latter mask the masses,
they are us and we, its masters

yes, i was them till i was casted
i will not master nor be mastered
for voicing inquisitiveness
similar to the kin of the sin
rumored to have killed the cat
let them castigate and excommunicate
my mask will decay in the casket

till, that is,

they let the former; its toxic gasses
end times nine lives like mine
shunned and inhabitants
who slumber under overpasses
and would unwaveringly pass
on being passive
on not going under
long before playing roles active
in a world so colorfully composed
of paint strokes dipped
in tin cans consisting
of the blood and innocence
of shunned masses,
the victims of ignorance
and its subsequent massacres.

asleep in peace
at rest with my dignity
my pride
and all the answers.

as are the circumstances
of those who will not master
nor be mastered.

disaster

- end
SJ Mar 2020
There was a time when I was young and nieve to the world that I thought everyone suffered in quiet agony.
Not caused by others or the situation you existed in.
Just silent soul-crushing pain.
Pain that carved a hole in your chest taking over where your lungs should be.
Cutting off airflow to the rest of the meat sack your soul called home.
I never can remember the last time I was truly happy.
Genuinely happy where my laughs were real with substance and my smiles weren't hollowed out caricatures of the ones I saw around me.
Hollowness, I guess is the second form of this agony.
Where im not lying on the floor begging for the pain in my chest to stop.
Where instead I am moving through molasses in time with self-preservation because right now I don't feel like dying.
It's too much effort and apathy is my best friend.
Automatically living because your brain tells your heart to beat so, and your stomach to take in nutrition.
No matter how poisonous overall to the system it may be.
Some say your past self chose this suffering for a misdeed.
Redemption of the soul.
Purification.
The gods above or below didn't choose it.
Free will and all that.
Then on a rare cloudy day,
(**** those who say the sun is the only thing that helps bring you happiness).
You feel giddy and you don't know why your smiling.
Or laughing.
Or full of energy.
(It's definitely not that sun with its Vitamin D).
The thing broken inside of you is suddenly okay.
The cracks have been taped over.
With haphazard stitches, that wouldn't stop a wound from bleeding out.
But your smiling and laughing and spinning in the middle of the living room like a six-year-old.
Watching the ceiling blend and blur until your dizzy and you fall to the ground.
Talking a mile a minute even though your body is going too slow.
TOO ******* SLOW, HURRY UP, HURRY UP!!
Smelling flowers, hugging loved ones, baking too many sweets, dancing to slow songs like a techno beat.
Your heart is strong for once beating loud and heaving.
Ready to burst.
Some people stay like this for a week, a month, two maybe or more.
Anf they climb higher and higher.
The Dropdown is like Goliath's height.
Gravity taking hold and slamming you to the ground.
I, me, we, us...
We last not even a day, sometimes half a day, sometimes, most times, its a good solid hour...maybe less I don't know.
I don't remember.
Then im apologizing, second-guessing myself.
Trying my best not to cry.
Selfishly and guilty thanking whoever gave you a broken body that those highs aren't as high as Goliath is tall.
The Anger is next.
It simmers below the skin.
Bubbly, itchy, tight.
There is a monster that wants to escape.
Shiny things beckon you.
Overpasses on the freeway sing to you.
Traffic seems to fascinate you, and all of a sudden you want to test out the physics of a car speeding by.
Curiosity gets you.
Do things that move really stay in motion until something stops it?
Are you, I, we, us big enough to stop it?
Like Superman stopping a missile in the sky.
Your self-preservation kicks in then.
Sometimes. Rarely.
It shakes its head.
"No, you know this, you took physics in high school remember. You tested out this theory before."
Before though was a toy car and a golf ball.
Not the bones that hold us caged inside.
Stupid you smile and wait for the light to turn green and the silly what man to shines bright.
Funny, Desperation bled into anger just thing.
Selfish little thing.
I guess I don't need to talk about you anymore.
Suddenly! It's there!
A small hidden smile sits on your face.
Content is the word.
Its feather touch caress's your cheek.
Lulling you to sleep.
Though you stay awake.
The night bleeds into the morning.
You stay asleep until three the next day.
The pain hasn't set in, the hollowed-out sensation isn't anywhere near you yet.
The abnormal and rare unicorn that is Mania.
In its many wonderful terrifying forms is a galaxy away.
You might not see it for another half-decade but there is hope still.
The Rage settles, quiet you can't remember how you calmed the raging beast this time.
But it sleeps now nuzzled warmly into your neck.
You run light fingers over flesh just to make sure you didn't feed it blood this time.
All clean and smooth.
Yes.
That desperate snake is also quiet now.
No longer famished.
It's had its pound of flesh.
A warm weight settles in your chest now.
The airways are clear.
Air, polluted maybe.
(The world is a mess.)
Fills you up.
You wake the world is tilted and the bottles line your dresser.
I didn't' miss a dose, did I?
What time is it?
What day?
Is it still the same year I least fell asleep in?
"Yes, you're okay. We all slip from time to time."
The doctor says.
"No, I didn't skip a day...do I need to readjust?"
"Maybe."
Then, as sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.
The cycle begins again.
I wrote something again after a long time. Yay. Not really a poem but here you go. Remember your not alone.
Greener grasses, next to overpasses
Culvusacs, with gardens lushushly captive
***** nails from working class, riches of a hopeless ***
Dedicated to so much, trying hard to keep in touch
Yet impulsed with tendencies to undercut
Moving fast, but in a rut

Striving on to better futures
Giving yourselves to bluer waters
Native humans, disguised as intruders
Sinking into sewage manure

Greener grasses, next to overpasses
Culvusacs, with gardens lushushly captive
***** nails from working class, riches of a hopeless ***
Dedicated to so much, trying hard to keep in touch
Yet impulsed with tendencies to undercut

Slamming doors & screaming cries, as we arise
Uncertain with feelings that we subside
Intentions from intuitions,  of our dislikes and false ambition
Apostrophe's Mar 2019
Danger danger
This could be fatal
This could be real life
Or one of Aesop's fables
Prayin for sunshine
These kids just wanna make it rain though
I used to be able to take body shots now
I get a flag thrown for a tackled ankle
I'm exploring my options from every angle
Been broken, mangled
To feeling like my life is a movie, Fandango
Could really cash in on cuz
Today I feel like a new me was born
The calm before the storm
A swarm of birds and bees
Flock to the last sunflowers and worms
Block the past out
obnoxious facts bout
Leaving on your own terms
Believing in achieving
as long as the sun burns
Lather up that lotion
Don't leave no stone unturned
In search of purpose
Hurts the surface
But deep down I find comfort lurkin'
Just a couple more layers to peel back
Don't shed a tear
Get the **** up out my hemisphere
You don't want no problems here
Smiling from ear to ear helps me
Stear clear of fear that's drawing near
Unchartered territories
Run farther from careless worries
Become part of this unburied treasure hunt
It's cloudy with a Chance of flurries
Be careful on the off ramps Bridges and overpasses traffic may be delayed in these areas.
Bob B Mar 2019
California--earthquake country--
Faces a threat that's true:
A massive quake we call the Big One
Is LONG overdue.

We must face the facts, and here
Is something to think about:
California's experiencing
A so-called "earthquake drought."

The southernmost stretch of the San Andreas
Fault--it appears--
Hasn't had a major rupture
For 340 years!

When it happens--man o man!--
We'll be rocking and rolling.
Even though we're better prepared,
That's not too consoling.

The ground will shake, overpasses
And bridges may collapse,
And houses can slide off their foundations
As the seconds elapse.

Walls will crack, chimneys will topple,
Dishes will crash on the floor.
We will see a mess such as
We've never seen before.

Knick-knacks will fly off the shelves.
What else? It's hard to tell,
But bookcases and curio cabinets
Will topple over as well.

Objects will fly across the room.
So, be sure to stand clear.
If the magnitude is high,
Damage will be severe.

Gas lines, sewage lines,
And water mains may break.
Widespread, destructive fires
May happen after the quake.

We may be without power
And water for many days.
Helpless, we will have to stand by
And watch the fires blaze.

The Big One could happen now,
Tomorrow, or years down the line.
To scorn its inevitability
Would be asinine.

Without warning, the quake will occur.
It's hard not to be scared.
I'm NOT looking forward to that day.
Tell me: are you prepared?

-by Bob B (3-5-19)
Roses in a pitcher in a window at a suburban Starbucks. They’re still wrapped in the plastic from Publix. A koolaid pitcher. A kind gesture from a stranger to another.

Eating my roommates left over pastina (the kind he makes that I like with carrots and kale) room temp out of the *** while I load the dish washer

While I’m loading the dishwasher it begins to rain (ga is turning into Florida) but I like how the rain looks out the window in front of the plant cuttings I have rooting on the windowsill

The plant cuttings in the cute jars I don’t need to collect but still find joy in collecting

New leaves and how good it makes me feel to talk to them

A *** of tea I bought for two, and even though I’m just one now I can almost always still finish the ***

Peppermint

The tin of loose leaf jasmine, its golden color, and the instruction manual that comes with it. How to make jasmine tea.

Spending as long as I want in the grocery store or famers market

Produce makes me really happy
So does the bakery
So does planning a meal for friends
And so does buying flowers

Crying listening to npr in my car (this American life or wait wait don’t tell me)
Crying feels good sometimes and these programs make me feel closer to my mom even though we’ve almost always lived far apart

Making bread. I can only make focaccia right now and I’m generally bad at baking. This is teaching me a patience that I think I can have else where

Sunbathing

Time in the water til you get pruny and your skin feels slick. This is a specific summer joy in a lake or a river
Maybe the ocean

Public pools and the way little kids really have no spatial awareness
When it’s hot in the summer a lot of parents/babysitters, grandmas, etc bring the little ones into the sun for a few hours. Wading through the 3ft section dodging little kids with goggles that come up gasping for hair all snot faced

The idea that maybe I want kids one day
It’s a nice
Daydream

Talking about daydreams
Making big plans that you aren’t sure will happen, but there’s still joy in the giggling delusion you share with friends or lovers or strangers

The train, the light in the train, the knowing you’re on a train
I mean even Marta

Mushrooms. I think chanterelles changed my life. Brought me back to the day time. Brought me back to connection not involved a dime bag or 20 shots back to back. A day time connection. A natural one cultivated at the roots of oaks.

Oak trees are old.

Black berries grow everywhere in Georgia. I find them hiding along the fences under overpasses. Hushing traffic with their glistening dark pearls and red thorns. I’m not sure I’d eat those but they still bring me joy.

Honey suckle. I thought they smelled like jasmine so I told everyone I had jasmine in my yard. I was wrong. I love the smell and how far it travels. I love the tea I make from it sometimes.

Ash’s giggle and brightening personality
Danielle’s fierce loyalty and dedication
Mias softness, wisdom, and determination
Emma’s playfulness, her creativity, and wanderlust

Theo laying behind me on the couch
Using her as a pillow

Dog birthdays

The guy riding his moped with a plastic rain bubble around it on boulevard

Trying to place a prank call but giggling too much to finish saying anything. The adrenaline hits me despite my failure.
Knave of bards May 2020
You know the Five Stages Of Grief?

It's like that.

Stage one, Bargaining.
I told him I'd do anything, absolutely anything to keep him in my life.
I pleaded, I begged. I was ready to drop anything and everything for him.
Just for him.
All for him.

Always.

for.

him.

He was worth my entire life.
At the drop of a hat.

Or a noose.

Then came the Grief. I was... Incomparably sad.
My life fell apart, I felt nothing but pain.
Felt like my guts were being torn out, and spilled at his feet.

Choking on tar

my mind was never quiet.
It was all my fault, If I'd been better I'd still be his.
It hurt.
So much.
  So
       So
            Much.

Then Anger.
It was his loss, I was SICK AND ******* TIRED OF BEING ******* OVER BY HIM! I deserved BETTER than that ******* and whatever PITIFUL MEANINGLESS FLING our two years HAD BEEN.
I'd burn every precious **** thing he'd given me.
He'd filled my life with bits of him... Art, poetry, clothes. Built me palaces of paragraphs.
I'd tear it all out of me as if it was a tumour.
A desise.
Discusted by the thought I'd ever affiliated myself with his filth.. Inch by toxic inch I'd tear him away. Dig in my nails and press hard Hard HARD with the point of my razor.

Then I crashed.
The fourth stage, Depression kicked in.

Nothing had meaning,

my anger had evaporated, without it I was the shell of the person I used to be.
Empty
Cold.
Dull.
His City lay,
all burned out,
no longer aflame,
my highway overpasses crumbling and scarred with decay.

My dark glassy eyes now dry, no more rain soaked asphalt.

No more laughter or dancing.

No more cheap laminate countertops.
and he was gone.

And he was gone.
And
     He
            Was      
                        G O N E.

Like watercolour dripping off a canvas.

Nothing i could do. I had no purpose anymore.
My life was cold and grey without him lighting it up, painting cave walls with his love.
My perfect, perfect boy.
He'd gone forever.
I slept and slept and slept. To try and stave off the emptiness. The hollowness he'd left inside of me.
To pass the seconds ticking by without him. It didn't hurt, I was just... in my heart there was emptiness. Grey and blank and hard as cold concrete. All the bright chalk mandalas washed away.
Now the last step.
Acceptance.
Acceptance.
Acceptance.
I'm working on it.
I can live without him. He's not my one and only perfect thing. I wasn't blinded by love. I was idealistic. Hopeful and nieve, praying and begging to anything that could mean hope, that he wouldn't leave.
Now I realise You are, Tom. Toby and and Emma are.
Pippa and Frankie and Willow and Jack and Chris.
Molly and Emily and... Me.

Every beautiful person in my life.

I know none of you would leave me.

Not like he did.

The song. Our song.


Honeybee

It feels like acceptance to me too.
I know it's dumb, it's just a song, but it came on shuffle last night and I think it triggered this.
I'm far from okay,
but I'm closer than I've been before. ****, I've got trust issues, I feel like I can't ever let anyone that close again.

I'm terrified of vulnerability.
But that's what you're here for.
You guys are gonna help me out the other side.



Thank you so much for that.



"Hello Goodbye, Twas nice to know you
How I find myself without you
That I'll never know
I let myself go
Hello Goodbye, I'm rather crazy
And I never thought I was crazy
But what do I know?
Now you have to go"

You set me free.










I
Forgive
You.


Even if you hate me.
Even if it should be the other way round, and you can't. Won't.
I loved us.
And I'm sorry.
🖤
I know.
I know Its gonna be hard.
But I refuse to hate him. Or myself for it. And god, I've never actually ever been able to be angry at him before. He ******* me over so many times. Probably without knowing he was breaking me. I refuse to be another of his broken toys. He broke up with me on a regular basis, and didn't even ask me if we wanted to get back together. We always just did. Because, I guess, he already knew my answer. It would always be an unquencing gratified 'yes'. An unspoken 'always'. Not this time. Not that he wants me back. But no hate. No regret. Not any more. He's cost me so many emotions. I'm not sparing him anymore. I just wish things were different. If he was more trusting we'd still be friends. Not necessarily lovers, but I will still miss the times when I could call him my best friend. But I guess it's his loss. And for the first time in pretty much forever... I'm okay with that.
I sleep on concrete and blacktop
side of highways and parking lots
I live between sentences mostly
small spaces tiny forgotten spots
beneath overpasses in pouring rain
eat stole cans of chili and ravioli
dream of soft places feather beds
waiting for the likes of you and me.
Anton Angelino Jun 2023
I’m so ******* high on stardust, I inject glitter into my bloodstream.
I live in no fairytale and that a prince won’t find me is highly likely.
I only write stories about longing, after all that’s all I feel.
But I’m good with the pen, have a soul of a poet, I’m creative.
So I grab my calligraphy pen and I write your name in cursive, then I take one breath and write mine next to yours.
It’s an untitled story, an unpublished romance and I’m not sorry for any nuance woven into it.
I take his proposition.
Ask my everwishing soul to speak sweet compliments like someone playing the harp.
I polish my blue eyes like sapphires, let them sparkle in the glow of big round emeralds,
and that is the start.
That is the start.

Where do I continue, I wonder.
Friends first or lovers, I ponder.
For realism I’ll make it meander and weave in a couple of tears wet nights so when all the lights turn back at them, he would grow fonder and realize he loves him so much.
But my pen is just an object, I’m the object of some grand plan, I’d try to paint what I crave so bad, but even the greatest painters fail, cause love is hard.
Play my song, take a cruise under overpasses in West Oakland, California is home, but if he won’t come I think I won’t go.
And that is the draft.
That is the draft.

After many ripped out pages and grenadine flavored drinks, I can’t write the conclusion.
I don’t wanna be there yet
I don’t wanna skip past that
I don’t wanna climb that high
Cause if I fall, may not stand up.
I leave my calligraphy pen, shut the pages provisionally, then I get undressed and swim in the glittering stars.
And that is the ending for now.
That is the ending for now.
Poem #7 off “Divine Providence”

This poem is about imagining love scenarios in your head and then disappointing yourself. I do that all the time and I’m the ****. It’s addicting and beautiful.

— The End —