I stared at the ceiling
Remembering when you joined me
On the roof top last summer
You called me Lilo
And I questioning if you were drunk
You said "No, I'm Stitch"

I laughed and played along
But you kept your face quiet serious
You told me that just as I needed you
You needed me

And that together or not
We would always be.

I slip the straps and release the clasp
of your over-the-shoulder boulder holder.
Gravity asserts itself, and you sigh as
I wonder if I should get even bolder

because

The jaws of love masquerade
as petals of a flower

so

Just say if you want me to stop.
We are, after all, in the middle of a shop.
I was attracted when I saw you smile.
As we passed in the frozen food aisle.
Now people are staring though the window.
Shocked at my nonchalant innuendo.
And if your purse metaphor extends to this.
We can go to the Bank for a little kiss

though

I may not be able to afford
nine feather mattresses and a golden pea.
But if you could make do
with a lilo and a marble
then …
You've pulled Princess.

© Pagan Paul (30/05/17)

"Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind, but if you wanna leave, you can, ill remember you tho. I remember everyone that leaves."  -lilo and stitch

When your little you think its just a movie but then your grow up and you watch it again and you relize its has so much more meaning behind it than you thought.  I mean its real lilo and stitch is about to sisters who lost thier parents and are just trying to get by when they adopt a 'dog' and everything goes wrong and lilo almost gets taken away.. thats deep.

as soon as she sees it she wants it is entitled to it while she is stealing it she begins elaborate lie everybody knows if she truly wants it she has means everybody knows she is gorgeous movie actress celebrity starlet awesome accessory genius she convinces herself she did not steal it the darling delicate chain with finely crafted handcuff clasp and accompanying key she wears it effortlessly just another imperial trifle hanging around her exquisite throat she has no idea how it got there she may have a drug problem a little dizzy even careless but she is no thief what with her magnificent beauty idyllic body prominent discography why would anyone accuse her she is submerged in deep denial why with so much to lose and absolutely nothing but tiny shimmering embellishment to gain why do tell would anyone point a finger at her she probably wasn’t even ever there at that dicey store she never tried on the astronomically overpriced bling it may have been her dodgy handlers or stylist’s suspect mismanagement and subsequent loan hypothesis she is positively not a thief it’s too insignificant an item to squabble about a mere gold necklace the whole incident ridiculously overblown cruel in fact she hates the miserable paltry piece of jewelry here take it back she insists it never graced her illustrious neck if anything perhaps a cheap ploy by Venice Beach shop to enhance it’s value oh the genuine necklace that she stole

Do you ever imagine
That the ground beneath your aching body just
Breaks?
& though the sound a heavy teardrop makes
Rings in your ears,
You continue to float.
When the fix is gone,
& every hope in your aging mind again
Shatters.
Forced words insist you're all that matters,
But every flaw ends up
Caught in your throat.
So as you wallow, you sail;
Your vessel is sunken and your lilo - in as
Many pieces as you are.
Your wings, however,
As bruised as they may be,
Provide a path for your broken bones.
It may not lead anywhere but
"Anywhere but here".
& that's ok.
I'm ok.
You're ok.
Just float.

I am the kind of person
Who has mental breakdowns in the line at subway
Decision making is difficult
Or maybe I'm just crazy
And I might be
Every day is unpredictable
Every day I wake up in the same body
A different person
People never believe me
But believe me when I say
I change on a daily basis
My mood is completely erratic
And always shifting
It is not desirable
To be this unstable
With the daily possibility of hurricane
And ever-present disaster
There is bound to be destruction
I think deeply about everything
Too much and too often
My personality is introverted
Yet I get upset when I'm alone for too long
Human contact is critical to my being
But sometimes I get upset if I am looked at the wrong way
I push people away
And then get mad when they don't come back
I don't make much sense at all
Really, I don't
Potato
I got a massage once
And cried for the whole 80 minutes
Because I had realized
I needed to pay someone to touch me for that long
It was still worth it
It's not normal
To fall apart this often
But I do
So often that it's become my daily routine
A repetition
Of overanalyzing
Freaking out
And then worrying
Followed by bouts of hysterical crying
I cry at the most irrelevant things
But never serious situations
I've been to two funerals in my life
And didn't cry at either
I didn't know how to
I am impulsive
I have seven tattoos
All of which were added within a span of three months
I make my decisions at the last minute
I'm addicted to netflix
I bawl my eyes out every time I watch lilo & stitch
Which is often
Sad music makes me depressed
But it's still the only thing I listen to
I say I hate hookups
And then spend a night with someone who will never speak to me again after
I look for love in all the wrong places
And then get ****** when I don't find it
Yell at happy couples because they are happy and I am not
I smoke cigarettes only because I like the smell of them
I drink too much
And then not enough
I look good some days and then like hell the next
My pillow has a permanent imprint of my head because I sleep a lot
Some nights I don't sleep at all
And then cry about it in the morning
I think I cry too much
And most days I realize this
I realize that I am
A mess
A whirlwind of ugly
Black and white
Back and forth
Thunder storm tidal waves
That constantly pick up and crash
A kaleidoscope of everything wrong in this world
All put together in one single being
I am the definition
Of insanity
But when you look at it
In the right perspective
I guess it starts to make sense
Starts to fold into something other than just breakage
I can't see the appeal in the chaos
I can't see the beauty
In any of this
But maybe someday
Someone will.

a little homesick
every day I open my eyes
looking up
these are unknown walls

I miss my favorite mug
the loud music next door
small birds coming into my room
pigeons running on the roof

somewhere
nothing is wrong

when I go back
feel so sleepy
so quiet

don't let me stay for long

What's Mickey without Minnie,

Donald without Daisy,

Buzz without Woody,

Ken without Barbie,

Beauty without Beast,

Lilo without Stitch,

What's me without you?

Let start this day,
With a big smile on your face.
Cause baby we're going to a lovely tryst.
We'll do the things our heart is singing.
Like riding a wave early in the morning.
Together we will climb
The highest mountains and peaks.
Together we'll catch fish,
In rivers and seas.
We'll watch lilo and stitch.
While having some beer.
When you're drunk
I want you to lay your head above my chest.
Listen to my heart and how fast it beats
As I  sing you to sleep.
Forever we'll stay together.
And count the stars in heaven.
As I whisper in your ear.
That I'll be your forever.
This night was so good to be true.
Hoping that someday it would be me and you.

“lay low”,
said the lilo
and stay slow
till the wind blow
go down
don’t drown

go on
slip along
stay afloat
in this boat
be brave
stay strong

drift and glide
hover and rest
ain’t it lovely
ride and slide
feeling alive
without a guide
or safety vest

There is so much blood
It fills in the cracks of the rubble that covers the city like cement mixture.
It takes three shots for him to die.
They ask if there is any rope to throw to him as if he is a child on a lilo who cannot swim.
They cannot bring him back to shore.

It is four thirty in the morning
I am praying.
Please,
Stop killing them.
**** the war that lies in the ink of printed money.
Do not let it resurface.
You have made worms meat of that man who was searching for his son.
The children cannot find a home in either of your houses.

Now, father and son are turning into statistics on the other side of television screens
And I wonder how anyone can expect me to sleep.
We live in different time zones
But I can feel the pain in the oxygen I breathe
It has settled in the air of every nation.
My lungs are red.
There is so much blood.

For you, the one who I never expected.

For you, the one who holds me and makes me laugh and is so very close to my own heart sometimes I think they share beats.

For you, the one who believes in me more than I believe in myself, telling me I'm something even on my darkest days. That I'm special, that I'm worth it, even when I want to believe that I am everything but.

For you, the one who I am so afraid of hurting, but could not stand at this point to abandon out of fear. I find myself standing by your side and wanting to stay there and make you as happy as I can manage, because you deserve it.

For you, the one I fell asleep in front of, a feat not many can claim, for sleep has always terrified me more than it should and the fact I trusted you with unconscious me means the world, when I barely trust myself during slumber.

For you, the one who watched Lilo and Stitch the first night we spent together, and we kissed and laughed and simply were just us and I couldn't ask for anything more wonderful, even though at the time I hardly appreciated it.

For you, the one who was there for me when I thought no one wanted me, and promised you would be there for me even when I couldn't be there for myself.

For you, the one with almost tears in his eyes when you realized the gravity of my pain, of my problems, of my fears. The almost tears that I will never forget, and will make me want to fight for a better me every day.

For you, the one who I never expected, but now would not change for the world.

For you.

Life is a series of experimentation
Tests based on multiple observations
Sometimes of the same thing
And yet I still have questions that still need to be answered
And there are no 4 options to choose from
And even if there were
The letters would have disappeared from how many times
I’ve shaded the circle
Just to erase it again
And sometimes I try to look for a quick summary
Just a simple short answer question
But there’s so many different variations
And none of them fit right
So I end up filling 3 sheets of paper
With just one answer
Just to get no credit
Because your teacher wanted you to
Summarize
What’s too much for you
To summarize

Once I think I’ve found a hypothesis
I receive some data feedback that
Doesn’t correlate
And so this idea
Of what this is
Of what love is
Of what life is
Can never be really answered
Like a webster’s dictionary entree
Or by anyone’s own experience
Because like time
It changes and grows

There was a story of a famous cobbler
Who was visited by a demon
And he was forced to make shoes for it
And when it came back for its shoes
It mutated between an elephant
A mouse
A man
A dog
I don’t know how to cobble the shoes that could fit
So many forms
From hooves
To talons
To perfect pedicured toes
That’s how love has always come into my life
And yet I have felt it so many times the same
Like a squeeze not on my heart
But my entire chest
But how do you cobble shoes
To fit so many feet
While staying the same

It’s like trying to explain why you hate something
To someone who has no idea
But you have that idea
Because of jealousy
Or something that happened
Maybe too long ago for you to
Really
Put words to it
But there’s that feeling in your stomach
And your brain is mashing the eject button
Whenever you have to be close
To this disgusting
Terrible
Ugly thing
That people would hate too
If they only knew
The feeling you
Just have

Until you
I didn’t have that missing link
And suddenly there are words in my mouth
To explain
The evolutionary changes in my mind
Of why
And not how

My Lucy
Knowing that you see the same sky above me
With me
Makes the stars diamonds
You are the reasoning as to why
I have love
Why I try to love
Why I live to try
To love
You are the clips in my brain
Constantly cycling through
The wrinkle of your jawline when you laugh
The way your shoulders bounce
The way you kissed me on new years

You kissed everyone else there
But I had to blame my sore stomach
Tying itself in knots
On the alcohol
But it was the butterflies
That you set a fire to
In my lower intestine
And they were crawling
Up my throat
Choking me
With their wings

And when you finally wanted me
As I watched you,
Wanted you
On the same warm rubber
Of the trampoline
In late spring

But the same rubber
Was cool
The night that I connected your lips to mine
And the look you gave me was
So confused
And distant
We were all so close
And the heat was radiated
Piled bodies pressed together
On top of us
Around us
And yet you managed to pull away

I wanted to break that distance
But that dark night was so bright
And so vivid
That in my mind
The look you had
Pulled away
Again
And again
And again
And in the yellow room where
Everything was so warm
And loving and hard
When it needed to be but
So soft
Recalling that time is
So hard
Because while the yellow is
So bright
It hurts
And photocopies into my brain
Like it was recorded over the same tape
That took in the image
Of you pulling away
The warm yellow
Cut
Again and again
By your face
Pulling away
Further and further
From mine

I cling to those warm images
Trying to think of just those warm images
Why can’t I just think of those warm images
The smell and feeling of you lingers
Like the heart beats I felt throughout my body
I think of you
And not just myself in your eyes
I don’t think of how sad I was
How much I wanted your attention
To validate me
Call me a person like Adam’s animals
Claimed with names like labels
That one has to live up to
I just wanted to experience
Your presence
And that yellow warmth
I just wanted to watch you
As a painter
As he would paint with such a tired, wise, skilled hand
And learn by just observing how you take in the world
And repeat it in your own imagery
Your own beautiful imagery

And I burn
When I think how people have seen this
And scrape at the surface of all you are
To present you dirt
Where tectonic plates should be moved
To give you the yellow sunshine beneath your feet
And swirl around your hair
Like a halo
Just to see how beautifully you reflect it
And when you came to me
With balloons twisted around your ankles
I wanted to hold you to the ground
And be your tethering rock to the world
I loved you too much to say the right words
To twist our fingers together into knots
And lock into place what we could be
So I turned away and let you be pulled back
A memory lost to gravity

To this day I can quote all of lilo and stitch
Or homeward bound
And still they sit on my shelf
Only to exist
When I chance a glance at their titles
And certain scenes come back
In vivid Technicolor
Playing in the back of my mind
And like someone had ****** with the tv’s color settings
Everything is just so
Yellow

If I had followed Peter,
I would have never grown up,
and my child like imagination would have stayed intact.
If I had read all the books like Belle,
I could have seen the beauty and wonder long before I missed out.
I wouldn’t have been so quick to judge.
If I could have had the courage to do what I long to do,
maybe Merida could have helped me through.
And if I had been a little more me,
and a lot less of what the world wanted,
then maybe I could embrace the uniqueness inside of me that Lilo never had a problem with.
Maybe I would have chased my dreams.
But who knows.
The future is still there,
and as long as tomorrow comes,
there is hope.
And I’ll try to embrace that.

Family is great
They have your back
They pick you up
Their on your team
But do they have to be related
Why of course not
Family are those closest to you
Whether by blood or ink
Or whatever
Like lilo and stitch
Blood makes someone a relative
Ink can do the same
But what it means is up to you.

I'll petrify a goon with
the power of ice
  My fire running
Through the universe's veins
Who is he! What is he?
Spirits of the frozen
  Stay following me
  Repent and cast away
  The pain Into the flames!
  
  Rather be remembered
  as a face without a name
  Don't get yourself played
  Like the game!
  You and I nowhere
   near the same!
  Another year
  dying for a better change!
  I must become it,
  before I go insane!!


    Breaking bad.  Breaking chains. Breaking habits. I am savage. I go wreck less. Bring the havoc.


Bringing damage.  Can they handle it? Can't hear your voice over the static!

Change the tactic.  Lyrical addict. Morriss code encrypted spells, can they manage?

I remain erratic.

Talk on us, like we ain't the best,  I am not having it!


Cannot. Will not. Shall not. be silenced under any sound.

I am going over it all. Traveling dimensions. Our voice goes beyond the underground!




I  Burn more trees, than
  a forrest fire in the summer!
  
Don't play me, like
  I won't clap back with thunder!
  
Don't act like
I won't pull up on you

We know shooters and runners

  I am tired of living in a world
  Where we're just a NUMBER!
  
Hope my voice
hunt you Snowflakes
  
in your slumber!
  
It's not about pride
You should been one up!

Even at my lowest I gotta
Keep it 💯

Got so much ****
You only know the sum of

Now I see/ why everyone that

Bangs puts their guns up!

Do what I gotta do

For my babies

From sun set to sun up

At the end of the day

I just want to

See us all come up!


Please, put my respect on
my name when you think of it
or get caught up in some ****
If it ain;t broken then why you're
over here pitchin' a fit?
I'm no easy target
you betta not miss
I am growing tired of cursing in my pieces
but these fools wanna play me like a *****!
I want real one by my side Lilo and Stitch.
I;ll be ****** if anyone takes the light from you
like a sith.
I be on crazy ****. Never harm a jit. Losin mah temper quick. Pop a foo, just like a zit! . Descovia is the name. Remember it. Play with my demons. They dismember ****

I be on the problem's ***. Like I am the nemesis
**** suicide, genocide, I'm go through tides, I am limitless!
This is for Isaiah, Charlie, Mason, Princess Genesis
What in hell on earth do you mean? The corrupt deserves all forgiveness?!
If only you can see and felt what's in my mind as victim and witness.
I don't care what it takes, I'm breaking the numbers and chains for a difference!
I rather take the trash out then let it build, eliminate it from equation of existence!
I am advanced at this, and you're only an apprentice.
Make change for your life if what I say catch interest!
Why is it I gotta get loud to get everyone's attention?
I just need you to hear me out...
Just listen...

(Peaceful warrior)

will set it off by the count down
like 3,2,1! You can try it but you
better be slick, the mind of  a cowboy with guns.
Set it off. Like propane with fire in the sun.
I dunno why ya'll playing  games? Then you run?!
You better be with it if you got good lungs.
God ****** Bobby! I'll kick your ***. Get popped. RICKY!!
Wish a *******, would put his hands on my motherloving son.
On his *** like a sour stomach with the runs.
Take your time eventually, it will all be said and done.
If they are really bout it, then why they gotta media stunt huh?!
I been on it, since day one. **** a ***** out of a million for  thinking, I am not in league with any of the number ones!


No need to flex. I get it . Believe it. (YES)
No need to stress. My son knows his limits. (BLESS)

Strap me up, I am ready for war! (BET!)
No. I am NOT nike. But I will get you in check to get a check. (LET IT REST

You were the chocolate sprinkles on my soft serve.

Burrowing into my chest like a sandcrab melting through saltwater and ocean city sand.

Fading into my body, until we became one gooey sticky sweet mess.

Such a beautiful summertime massacre.

I prefer the mountains in June. A cool evergreen breeze sighing through my buzzcut season.

This is what true royalty feels like, to sleep forever under the pines. A place we wanted to grow.

I shaved my head because I’m not yours anymore. Or theirs. I belong to my own shallow grave. So please, do not call me princess.

Disney did not forget to write my story, he was too busy creating women no one would ever receive.

My life has never gone according to plan, stopped praying before bed for my fairytale to fruition.

I created myself. A handsome hairless heroine. The tallest trunk at the peak.

Only faith I have left is in my own photosynthetic cells.

Feeling still a lingering winter. SPF cannot protect me from my own emotions.

I don’t need it to anymore.

Looking down at you from miles away like that man from lilo and stitch.

Sunburnt and confused.

Black sprinkles and ants slow dance on the concrete in my giant sugary shadow.

I wonder do the ***** still bury their troubles? I haven’t been to the beach in years.

You haven’t considered these sappy limbs a place to call home since then.

I always have and I always will.

You’ve been bullshitting people:
“He is like family, he’s like a brother”
“She is so kind and wise, she is a mother”
Well, are they, though?
Is there a chance he would disown you upon coming out?
Will she respect a man so cynical he threw his true love out?
No  he won’t, he’s got your back, he is your brightest moonlight .
he a is friend, a lilo, those words say all, they say enough.
No, she won’t, she’ll want him gone, wisdom comes with judgment.
She’s a techer or a mentor, these words are true and are enough.
So use the words you should, and stop bullshitting people.

Fingers against the portrait.
Dragging the vision into despair.
Landscape lop-sided.
Stock photo nightmare.
Bared against the lies.
Deformation of character, a characteristic cliché.
A teardown of deception is more like it.
But let's lay close to our lilo of lies in the cesspool of sporadic secrets.

and even in the simplest moments,
i love you.
maybe it's corny to say, but
without ups and downs,
there would be no heartbeat drawn
in our sketch of life.
when the hills get weary
and all the buildings melt down,
i will still love you,
forever, as now.

and i will still remember
that carbonara you made me
or the flowers you picked out for me,
or when you held me while i cried
in sad, as in happy moments of our time.
don't pick another flower,
just because it screams.
for i will let you demolish my petals
and sing you to sleep.
i will cut myself with my own thorns,
twisting them inside,
just so i could spend a moment
in your soft hand, never again harmed.
whether it's lilo and stitch, that i'm
crying about
or all of the things i ruined,
and my horrible times;
it's comforting to know
i've got your arms
to hold me when i
inevitably
fall apart.