Have you ever done something
and then could not believe
it could possibly have been you?

Have you ever said something
and then cringed when you heard it
exiting your mouth?

That would be me, sometimes . . .

Or, while mentally calculating
your accumulating grocery bill,
have you run into a friend
only to completely lose count?

I have stood in front of the door to my home
trying to lock or unlock the door
using the keyless entry fob from my car.

I have done this --- more than once.

I have, months after getting rid of that car,
searched for its keyless entry fob
on my keychain.

I have spent hours and days
searching for glasses on my head,
for keys that I was holding,
for the purse on my shoulder,
and have managed to miss them completely.

I have called information for a number,
written it down,
and then had to call them back
because I misplaced the number before I could redial the phone.

I have neglected friends and family,
duties and responsibilities,
not from lack of love
or sound intention,
but merely by allowing myself to be distracted.

If I had followed up
on what I knew at seventeen
whales, sharks, mankind ---
might already be saved.

Who knows what my focused mind might have accomplished?

But instead
I put myself to sleep
because the real world
was far too much to bear,
and living in books and dreams
so very much safer
than all the dysfunction awaiting outside.

I met my soulmate at twenty
and then left him behind
marrying one man,
and then another,
who never got me -
instead of the one and only man who truly did.

There's a reason that God protects children and Fools.
There's a purity of heart,
an innocence of spirit,
and . . . occasional lapses in intellect.

So, for all of the lessons I've learned and I've lost,
There are worse things than being a Fool.

Which I remind myself again
as I accidentally call my own cell phone
and then hang up my land line to answer the call.

In parting, I offer what I finally learned, which is

This above all:
To thine own Fool be true.

Cori MacNaughton
6Apr2005

I'll be waiting
By the locked keyless backdoor
I'll linger
No matter how many times the moon greets the day
I'll stand by
Or how many times the sun kisses the night
I'll still be here
By the locked keyless backdoor
That you had no idea existed
Always.

Even though there are a million locked keyless backdoors
I'll break them all down
Once I'm tired, and I am
I'll wait.

How we dance when there is no one looking
Whispering marmalade cream as we watch boats of steam
Drift towards a not so distant infinity
Praise the one your with, even when they've gone away

I think the question where there are no straight answers
Are the one's that I seem to be better at
At least there are questions still to be had
For if there wasn't, we would all go mad

I have these hats
Some brown, some polka-dotted, some grey
You have those eyes that stare at me
In a musical genius that are present
But secretly say they wish to go away

Oh', you know were broke down
We got not style to call our own
And I'm lonely here without you
This night I'm in doesn't seem to be ending
And I'm too tired to invent a beginning

Movement of a heart don't mean its beating
Love's absence still holds a fragrance
I got life, some days more than others
Don't worry about where I'll be
There will always be another

Let me whisper in your ear
Let me dare you to get near

What I want
Isn't me with you
Or you with me

What I want

Is for the sun to rise
The snow to melt
And for the door to open

Without key

There was a saviour
          Rarer than radium,
     Commoner than water, crueller than truth;
          Children kept from the sun
          Assembled at his tongue
     To hear the golden note turn in a groove,
Prisoners of wishes locked their eyes
In the jails and studies of his keyless smiles.

          The voice of children says
          From a lost wilderness
     There was calm to be done in his safe unrest,
          When hindering man hurt
          Man, animal, or bird
     We hid our fears in that murdering breath,
Silence, silence to do, when earth grew loud,
In lairs and asylums of the tremendous shout.

          There was glory to hear
          In the churches of his tears,
     Under his downy arm you sighed as he struck,
          O you who could not cry
          On to the ground when a man died
     Put a tear for joy in the unearthly flood
And laid your cheek against a cloud-formed shell:
Now in the dark there is only yourself and myself.

          Two proud, blacked brothers cry,
          Winter-locked side by side,
     To this inhospitable hollow year,
          O we who could not stir
          One lean sigh when we heard
     Greed on man beating near and fire neighbour
       But wailed and nested in the sky-blue wall
Now break a giant tear for the little known fall,

          For the drooping of homes
          That did not nurse our bones,
     Brave deaths of only ones but never found,
          Now see, alone in us,
          Our own true strangers' dust
     Ride through the doors of our unentered house.
Exiled in us we arouse the soft,
Unclenched, armless, silk and rough love that breaks all rocks.

Failure is a haunting fear
but fear itself is worse.
A deceitful ghost
like the closed door

keyless

now a wall.

Victims of self discovery
Burdened by unwanted embraces
Searching for a release
Creeping into pools watched and gazed
Adjusting their lives as they unknowingly perform
Twisting structures and sparking atoms
Fling and hitting the walls
Trying to run for it
Attempted escapism and keyless doors
Clouded entryways with a dim glow
Beckoning to be explored
Unknowingly opening Pandora’s Box again
Magnets in the air to collect the scrap metal
Scratches and deep cuts on the interior
Nowhere to dispose of it
Folding and storing again in the grand drawer
Dresser pressed against the door to keep it shut

One? Two? Three?
Or is it Four?

All of them wide open, infinite doors.

Some ahead call me, some already
chose.

Though past their light still shimmers,  
never really close.

my critique of
them
when I am of
them...

with no keys for
them
to drive from
them
to
us

thickens the line between
them
and
me

and these  divided social seas
on which we sail
shall ever
be...

~ P (#Pablo#TKC)
(8/12/2013)

503

Better—than Music! For I—who heard it—
I was used—to the Birds—before—
This—was different—’Twas Translation—
Of all tunes I knew—and more—

’Twasn’t contained—like other stanza—
No one could play it—the second time—
But the Composer—perfect Mozart—
Perish with him—that Keyless Rhyme!

So—Children—told how Brooks in Eden—
Bubbled a better—Melody—
Quaintly infer—Eve’s great surrender—
Urging the feet—that would—not—fly—

Children—matured—are wiser—mostly—
Eden—a legend—dimly told—
Eve—and the Anguish—Grandame’s story—
But—I was telling a tune—I heard—

Not such a strain—the Church—baptizes—
When the last Saint—goes up the Aisles—
Not such a stanza splits the silence—
When the Redemption strikes her Bells—

Let me not spill—its smallest cadence—
Humming—for promise—when alone—
Humming—until my faint Rehearsal—
Drop into tune—around the Throne—

Falling fast down hovelled stairs,
digesting wealth to ransom cares,
grotesque men who soil and harrow
suspend my dreams from thinning rope.

As discharge weeps from places raw
and blisters burn a molten core,
another phallus, soiled and poisoned
wants for smack and *****’d ******.

I bleed from wounds so deep within
of pain so stark and crude and raw
that pins me ‘neath the brine of sin
like drowning prey in ***** and ****.

I fail to dim the moving shadows:
those twisting jerks of spewed release –
but coming soon will silent growls
of dripping fat and blistered guilts.

Voiced within me, vague and distant,
something cries, yet tears withdraw.
Copious unheard pleas are buried;
here lay I, unknown, destroyed.

To burrow past unhuman men
(to further seal a keyless lock)
would ‘splay me in the public eye,
exampled, maimed, defeated; lost.

Phlegm and fur may line my mouth;
engorged, my lips, a ***** for more.
But somewhere deep inside myself
I’ve walked away from Brothel Shore.

I was unaccustomed to keyless locks,
Nor the binding doors
You set ajar, like a teasing shock,
Bled deep in the chambers of the heart,

Where the arteries of your hair played on
And strung my out to fry,
Until my hands were roped and singed raw
Spurned in the chambers of the heart.

I was deserted, lost, run aground, drowned,
By the ocean of your eyes,
Wholly held, captive in loves ghostly mansion,
***** alive, in the chambers of the heart.

Write me like a rose
Soft petals built of prose
Carve me like a keyless lock
Whose secrets no one knows
Draw me like a dream
Who isn’t what she seems
Mold me like a polished mirror
Who says just what she means
Craft me like a crime
Who stole all of your time
Paint me like an endless youth,
Never past her prime
Form me like a fire
That never, ever tires
Lull me like a legacy
That stays when things get dire.

The mother pearl.
Starved.
Marveled by it.
In the deep blue sea .
Sparkling precious gemstones.
In keyless entry without technology.
Treasures like feathers.
Marble statues you want to pursue.
He thought you knew.
Creepy janitor.
Endless corridors.
Vacant Lots.
Dark stairwell.
Late night patrol.
Criminals out of control.
Cereal for breakfast again in a bowl.
Foul people.
Full of regret.
With a stubborn mindset.
Don't fret.
You don't need a vet.
Let's make a bet.
You'll be in my debt.
You can try to disappear on a jet.
I'll catch you in my net.
You'll be my pet.
A mistake I won't let.
If you betray my trust.
I will do what I must.
You lost your wallet again?
All your money gone.
How sad.
That's bad.
Did you tell your dad?
I guess you really are bankrupt.
A life unfortunately got interrupt.
It's disturbing how I choose my wording.
Slime, mold, mildew.
Gross slosh.
Dreams of floating.
Lard thats bloating.
Braggers gloating.
Forget everything I said.
And all that you read.
Meaningless words that make no sense.
Confusing thoughts written.
I can't concentrate on reading what I wrote.
I blank out.
It's not in here.
Don't whisper in my ear.
The same things you said to her.
Nobody's jealous.
Relentless ranting
Annoying chanting.
You choked me on purpose.
Skipping thoughts.
Unreported crimes.
Shameful timing.
Pityless weeping.
Silent cries.

1 feckless 2 dabbled breathless charming
rose smattered garden. 3 came a forward
prancing chill prose tongue hewn cool 6ing.
scattering all the correct petals precisely.
a   d   an:
   n                   abderian 4 chuckled loose
                 woven laughing leafs. yon 7 corpulent
                locks keyless secret green. dig deep soiled
          fingers. find the beating source pulse bearing
       seed. if so ever you loved the summer golden complexion
of sun folly songs trembling kiss. here now be 9 musky calf.

                                                                                                  you
                                                              will
                            burst
blooming
                                            

                                                     8;

Taste the black and white keys
Caked with the blood of passion
Sweep the streets of keyless doors
Find the lock that fits under the trees
Ration the waves of this nation
And the lonely desert breeze

I have seen the golden sheen
In the alchemy of ages gone
I have worn the berserker's skin
And sung the piper's song
I have heard the sound of earth
And I have learned the beating of the land
I have learned that God can not be captured
By any mortal man

The tower will always fall
But flight will forever be ambition
The human soul is impregnable
The revolution never asks permission
To place that first brick down
Take more than it's been given
To see God within the clouds
And pull him down to be forgiven

I was unaccustomed to keyless locks,
Nor the binding doors
You set ajar, like a teasing shock,
Bled deep in the chambers of the heart,

Where the arteries of your hair played on
And strung my out to fry,
Until my hands were roped and singed raw
Spurned in the chambers of the heart.

I was deserted, lost, run aground, drowned,
By the ocean of your eyes,
Wholly held, captive in loves ghostly mansion,
***** alive, in the chambers of the heart.

I'm all for the truth
Even if it hurts
I prefer the pain of honesty,
Not the pleasure of lies
If you hate me,
Can't you just say you do
Can you just let me go?
Staying here is burning me alive
I want freedom, to be apart from you
You're my keyless locks, chaining me down
Guitless, you ravage, my life, my sanity
Leave me be, it's only distruction you're causing
I'm almost done trying, I just don't want
To give up.
Just let me go

I put walls up made of cinder blocks
Each one a lie uttered by a former love

There was a gate, covered in keyless locks
But soon even that was a weakness to the doves

So I build another line, cement and glued together thoughts and painful sensations
It was an ugly wall, but all the better to keep things away

Each time someone chipped a peice away I would it was replaced without hesitation
"May I come in?" You call, "Maybe another day"

I was unaccustomed to keyless locks,
Nor the binding doors
You set ajar, like a teasing shock,
Bled deep in the chambers of the heart,

Where the arteries of your hair played on
And strung my out to fry,
Until my hands were roped and singed raw
Spurned in the chambers of the heart.

I was deserted, lost, run aground, drowned,
By the ocean of your eyes,
Wholly held, captive in loves ghostly mansion,
***** alive, in the chambers of the heart.

I was unaccustomed to keyless locks,
Nor the binding doors
You set ajar, like a teasing shock,
Bled deep in the chambers of the heart,

Where the arteries of your hair played on
And strung my out to fry,
Until my hands were roped and singed raw
Spurned in the chambers of the heart.

I was deserted, lost, run aground, drowned,
By the ocean of your eyes,
Wholly held, captive in loves ghostly mansion,
***** alive, in the chambers of the heart.

I was unaccustomed to keyless locks,
Nor the binding doors
You set ajar, like a teasing shock,
Bled deep in the chambers of the heart,

Where the arteries of your hair played on
And strung my out to fry,
Until my hands were roped and singed raw
Spurned in the chambers of the heart.

I was deserted, lost, run aground, drowned,
By the ocean of your eyes,
Wholly held, captive in loves ghostly mansion,
***** alive, in the chambers of the heart.

...In honor of my red maple, cut down yesterday
and one from my childhood
________

My father had the tree cut down
Drought finished it... after a couple years of blight

A hundred seasons
Spreading sweetness
commanding grace

Mom took pictures of it
coming down
Neighbors with lawn chairs
Ring-side seats
for the aerial gymnastics
this circus of snarling saws
Dad joked about selling selling tickets
backyard picnics-- a Red Sox game

While silent photos watch
she surrenders her shadows
to the terms of light
stumps, dust
stages of death
the good-bye of a friend

What must that Yard look like now?
A shadeless glaring lot

Excuse a few silly moments to mourn a tree
to remember lying on flagstone
after sweeping them off
(They must have circled her trunk once
kept finding more as I worked with a broom)
building a sweat, a fort, my private place
under the tree that offered shelter

My father worked too
Trimming, raking, mowing, cursing her keys...
Maple keys...
that when you stamped
had that satisfying snap
of plastic bubble packing

Says he's gonna buy a new one
...sterile, hybrid, keyless kind
...so I was tired and lay down to watch
white clouds float in the bluest sky
I can remember...
...daydreams...interrupted... Air Raid Warning...
..Noon...
Then clouds again
...and I was with them

She talked in leaf language
and had much to tell
When her song part came, I slept somehow...
Since then years of singing in my head

At the end of the world
when the young man left
I lay on a hammock under her

When music turned...Savage
Hers?   The same...
presence... yearning...rooted... direction

this letter says. “She's fallen”
a slab of trunk for family members
A neighbor will have firewood for years

Her memorial?
...in my front room
to set coffee on...
to lay magazines....

But I will find the rings that belong to us!
Cut her song from tangled voices
in anxious traffic
on clearer days— when clouds won't float
but grasp, instead
a sky attempting a silvery-blue
...the cooler shades of memory

From the lawn chairs—groans, apology!
“ Not many trees like that one!”

Not many lives have majesty....

I used to think the wind was born in her arms
...then spread to all the other trees

Keep trying to remember what she said...
but there's only her hush

...and the rings that belong to us

Yours is a space
Inside my heart
Kept safe
By you and just you

This realm has a door
Hidden from sight
Keyless
To those who're not you

Feel free to enter
As you see fit
But please
Let it be just you

Bring in some magic
And a bean bag
Make it
Just right for you

Snuggle up to
My ventricle
Feel it
Pump strong for you

Take a swim through
My aorta
Hear it
Pulse steady for you

Stop for a break
In my right lung
Know it
Fills with air for you

Cascade into
My atrium
Sense it
Keep rhythm for you

Yep, you are part of
My anatomy
Science just
Never had a clue.

.
I was unaccustomed to keyless locks,
Nor the binding doors
You set ajar, like a teasing shock,
Bled deep in the chambers of the heart,

Where the arteries of your hair played on
And strung my out to fry,
Until my hands were roped and singed raw
Spurned in the chambers of the heart.

I was deserted, lost, run aground, drowned,
By the ocean of your eyes,
Wholly held, captive in loves ghostly mansion,
***** alive, in the chambers of the heart.

that loves you the terse crushing pulse of hard darkness a forest through
infinite leaf opens the keyless vault of being and parts every vestige of
self beneath the moon becomes livid every cutless blade with white
incredibly fleeting dust of immense light

it wigs

instantly the body

in tons of weightless flower

all limb to dance with coursing heave

of minute electricity

over which
can barely be heard
the mute rushing
of
grass, "

Time isn’t anybody’s friend,
How I wish I knew this, before then.
Seasons rush past my fingertips,
I swear to caress each minute;
Can kiss those leaves goodbye,
Tho It never quite feels like it’s the end.

A never ending carousel spinning,
Turning each and every page;
Faces mold into a montage of past adventures;
Swear chapters flown by,
Yet I haven’t seen a glimpse of winters fall.

Oh, Radiant sunshine
Guide me threw your
Different shades of passages,
Keyless, and directionless I dare;

Shivers hide behind my spine,
Cautionary light footprints whisper feathers
To an age old harden curiosity.

Time is simply a storyteller of great many tales.
How I wish I knew this, before then.

Close to this end you were a free-spirit caged
Body-bound parlyzed, muted and muzzeled, entombed
locked alive and screaming from a keyless cell.
A fleshy coffin-with-a-view, an unburied object of pity on public display.

Further from this end you were daughter, sister, friend,
wife, mother. More. You will always be so much more.

Leading up to this end you showed me a suffering so completely devestating
I can't bear to think of it. I can't bear to speak of it.

A suffering I could never endure myself.
A suffering I can't understand or imagine, and hopefully never experience.
A suffering I had been praying your release from for years.
A suffering you had been pleading your release from for years.

A suffering that thankfully you are now released from.

It is a suffering I will never forget, that you alone endured.

I had never known strength until I witnessed your strength through your suffering.

Here at this end I know real loss.

It is a loss I cannot possibly bear, but will.
Using a strength that is not mine, but yours.

Dearly beloved
I am gathered here to say
That nothing that you believe to be
Will happen on this day

You were given a false narrative
One of ownership and lore
Meant to keep our people down
Locked behind a keyless door

Fire should frost
But the smoke dissolves your lungs
The alarm works well, even in the sticky heat
Professionals visit the keyless lock
Liquid extinguishes the flame
Strength is key
Heat drives you
Cars swivel
Too late

In sweet visionary illusion
Swept up in mindless delusions
Grand thoughts swelling fourth
As mind over matter which pierce the sky
And at this time I cover my eyes
To Shield them from reason
But their is no need as it’s all obscured by clouds

Grey is the colour an eclipse of judgement in fine detail
Status Quo agenda, dig a hole
Bury my head in the sand as it comes through the other side of a flat moronic earth
Social distance from reason, No vaccine to cure the brain from this ignorance plague
Weeping from the wound of privileged upbringing, In a prison surrounded by lacklustre villains watching society crumble from the cell of self justification, Locked doors and keyless thought

Rushed to the windows to watch the sky, No way to see the sun when it’s obscured by clouds.