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he beat her. with intent to ****. still-she is to blame. toxic. male. men are taught. to own. own everything. pushing ownership onto. owning water and trying to own women.

i watch her, my mother. she worries about surgery. not late in life surgery. early. fresh marmalade surgery. a man too angry that could not own her. some old hurt. my father. after tearing of her clothes beat her.

a glint in the sun. how. do i carry this forward. screen of my mind in static. i do not. no man. no woman. no anyone. who cannot show me compassion. cannot show me respect comes along. no aunt. cousin. not enough blood in the world to bind us. no friend of a friend. no old lovers. no platonic love night crawlers. none.none of those. depart.

i work. little lady capitalism is an old hag. but she pays my mothers  medical bills. no one’s meant to pay for their stay on earth. foolish little men. give way. give way and let the good hearted kind ones spill over.

i am done. done. done. like three strikes of a bell with the past. in love. in love. with love i release you. young tender me. at the bridge of new beginning. i cry my most. mostly because i know. all your dream are on the other side of this bridge.
my mental rant, working, trying to do apps, translating stuff and trying to help my mother. I finally realized I could not hold it or carry it. What? What could I not carry…mmm the past

it is an honor to behold one another and to bring my presence. I now know I am am gift like you are. I deserve compassion  at what seems my worst moment in life. that is all. I do not have to earn it or chase it. Or ask they someone be kind enough to put their shoes in mine. it‚Äôs is tough but I am making it through
por amarte se me partio la lengua en dos
el lado irquierdo una rosa avenida larga capaz de querer tu manos y saboriar el manto humano de tu cuerpo encajado sobre tu alma  

el lado derecho igual, bajo mi paladar sensible a tu tacto
se rindo pues es  incapz de juzgarte  

aveces pienso que parezco aserpiente por quererte
y me hace quere inventar nuevos mitos
pues cada mito de mujer y culebra me roba la lengua
this week I have been reading so much in Latin American poetry that poetry in Spanish just starting flowing. Feeling a different rhythm in my tongue made me feel very calm :)))
I will write until there is nothing left of me until everything is poured out and given. Until it‚Äôs over: these hands &   their warmth.
Until someone else comes to let us know what their world has been too
Until my writing is of no need in a world of peace
in a world of beauty
in a world of compassion
Until we have conquered no one’s land except that of our own mind and laid eyes on the cruelty and ailments just as much as on the kindness and cures inside us

Make the decision to see all and pick to nurture only what will bring peace on earth.
Se lo quieras ser
y selo completamente
que te acompa√Īen las racimos
de cada flor y cada fruta
a la adecuada primavera tu y ellos madurar√°n

Lleno y llena
bajo sol y luna ser√°s
como toda flora y fauna
      vivirás y morirás
         madrugaraz y hacia el sol te volteas

puedes arrumbar las historias, puedes derrumbar la reja como raíz que busca  encontrar la ruta más corta hacia la luz
recuperando la tierra y t√ļ recuper√°ndote a ti misma

Se lo quieras ser
y selo completamente
You stretch your hand and this time you will grasp not because your hand is long  but because the line of love that like yarn was made of prayer, of hope, of courage to bring about change by others is strong enough to hold your body as it high lines. over the canyon. You prepare because you know this will take all your focus, all your wisdom, all your agility, and your discipline and all your human heart. Others may shy away but you will not
I run at night and try to jump like a doe towards the sky (it’s the closest on land that I get to a dolphin jumping out of  the great horizontal-ness of  its own life

Under the moonlight
could my two feet multiply into four

At the peak of outward youth  
should I breed

what but love and kindness is better to breed in this world
Thank you to the temporary thing that I cannot keep
that have passed me
thank you for letting me hold you in this one splendorous life
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