By Arcassin , Mayas , Wolf , patty m and creep


AB: Baby I know this mite sound crazy, A remix is just what you can't see, Baby,

Mayas: My love,
You drive me crazy,
I think of you daily,
My love, My love,
Touching me so kindly,
My insides go tingly,
My love, My love,
Seeing you rarely,
Missing you I wait patiently,
My love, My love,
How you kiss with ease,
I want you more 'oh please',
My love, My love,
If only I could be,
The one to hold the key,
My love, My love,
Not letting me in is misery,
I wish to love your mystery,
My love, My love,
Let our love be,
Let yourself love me,
Stay with me, My love.

WSQF: honey, honey
i ain't bein funny
honey , honey, 
we don't need too much money
honey, honey
your my centerfold bunny
honey, honey
you make my skies sunny
honey, sweet honey
you're the onliest oney in my soul,
i adore you honey,

Patty : All is devastation, incrimination,
why the f--k do we fight, happens every night, even when
we make up you whimper like a whipped pup, whine whine, 
a warning sign of some other lover, Out late, another date
U go undercover, 
Cold heart, ripped apart, 
tries to make a brand new start, 
You're taking it to your boys ,making lotsa noise now,
I come 2 grips with your lies,
in the event of my demise,

I wish u knew how much i cared,

testament of what we shared.

Off track, never coming back, my pain, your gain
never letting me explain,

i love your kisses, your body bootilicious

men make mistakes, so do what it takes
punch a wall, stand up tall, you don't wanna
be no loser at all. How will i know if
my missions achieved, when u come 2
conclusions before the question's conceived?
Before I was blinded, now I am reminded
out of place out of time, my reputation on the line
A voice inside, my spirit guide, leaves no speculation. 
I look wise in review, fake fairy tales do come true, when manipulated 
askew, by people like U.

bleeding heart torn apart, needs a lightning strike 

a doctor friend of mine, his name is Frankenstein 

No babies, this lady, wants romance, to dance 

and be charmed by a storm out of the blue

not to be tied down and misconstrued. 

CTLY : Baby,
You are my one and only,
Without you, things are way too lonely,
Baby,
Baby,
You're the only one I can seem to think about,
I just hope I don't creep you out ;)
Baby,
Baby,
My love for you is limitless and stretches past the galaxies,
So let's just skip all the formalities,
Baby,
Baby,
When you message me,
It's all I can do to not to kiss thee,
Baby,
Baby,
There are no words to describe what you are to me,
'Cause you're more than perfect,
Baby,
Baby,
Kissing you,
Loving you,
Baby,
Baby,
If you're James Dean,
Then I'm Audrey Hepburn,
Baby,
Baby,
You are my miracle,
I love you,
Baby.

AB : Baby,
I need you to be with me,
I know you think I'm acting shady,
Baby, Baby,
I need a sense of empathy
Put yourself in the place of me,
I need someone like you to save me,
Baby, Baby.
Baby

I'm a dead man walking
dead man talking
dead man running to his grave.
I would have stayed if I wasn't so afraid
adding and subtracting
all the mistakes I have made.

I never could have stayed
it never would have worked  out that way.
In the end was that last smile
and saying,
"I'll see you down the road after a while."

I'm a dead man walking
a dead man talking
a dead man running towards my grave.

My crimes
they have been small
mostly involving
self harm
The self-inflicted wounds
are stings that last the longest time.

I'm a dead man walking
a dead man laughing
a dead man running towards my grave.

I have always tried my best
to be as loving as I can
little acts of kindness
now and then
Even have submerged myself
in others
talking their pain

I'm a dead man walking
a dead man falling
a dead man running to my grave.

Many small crimes
many petty misdeameanors
never meant to hurt you
only wanted to touch you
but all these judgments
all this self-incrimination
can't be undone

Too many
justifications, rationalizations,
too many words to say
too much water? the bridge has washed away
I don't think I could ever explain

Even for a dead man running
let's just say
"one touch on the hand
and
I'll be on my way."

My poetry is open and bare on the examination table
While my brain falls into place in the exsanguination cradle
Pieces fit together like a monster from the old world fables
Set up to disassociate the Cains from the Ables

We're all meant to die
There's no harm in asking why
Self harm, drugs left in the arms, premeditation, self incrimination
It won't matter when we're stitched up in a Y

Theres hidden meanings in every line
A chance to put aside all the woes and keep feelings burning inside
When things are on the decline
I can write down facts and theories
Like self investigation as to why I'm feeling weary
No Overbearing intoxication here just a rough cut heart of ice melting due to overheating and slipping liquidation

(song)

Lord forgive me for I know what I do but forgot or was never taught how to change
I've called on your name many times but always had to leave a message, all my life you've simply been out of range
The spotlight is on and all I ever see is your seats vacancy when I look out into the crowd from the stage
Even though I know that chair will never fill I'm disappointed every time, even still at my age
Actions speak louder than words but you must be frozen in silence, feel like an abandoned fight dog chained to a cage
Incased in mange, engulfed by the plague that is you, unrecognizable, who I've become is hard to gage
Sad and lonely, afraid and angry, I cover it all with the only two things you ever gave me, questions and a replacement of blind faith, a blind rage
My very being spills out as ink on the page, page after page after page after page

It ain't just me, look close and see that most your people are lost too but that doesn't seem to be a loss to you
Looks like it doesn't even bother you, indifferent even to those who look up to you
Could care less if your carelessness caused you to lose a few
Well aware the earth is a godless venue, how dare you demand we follow you when you've no plan to follow thru

Since you're hard of hearing apparently let me share a literary entry or three from my diary
Its an open book, entry requires no key though some pages have been savagely pulled, I'm sure you saw me bury a few in the cemetery
What remains are snippets of my memory that clearly show you've been side by side with me on the daily
Obviously that's sarcasm, you'll never see another set of foot prints anywhere near me, this wounded animal is on a lonely journey
And I don't think you abandon me, that would imply that at some point you were actually a father figure at any time in my history
Never seeing eye to eye, you're always a mystery, these mysterious ways of yours never get applied to me or I wasn't supplied the decoder key
And if you have had a hand in my trajectory, if you formed my destiny that just means you were the good, the bad and the ugly respectfully
I humbly come to thé only to learn a lesson in humility as I'm ignored repeatedly no matter the clarity of my sincerity

It ain't just me, look close and see that most your people are lost too but that doesn't seem to be a loss to you
Looks like it doesn't even bother you, indifferent to even those who look up to you
Could care less if your carelessness caused you to lose a few
Well aware the earth is a godless venue, how dare you demand we follow you when you've no plan to follow thru

Beam me up Scotty because I need a face to face conversation, I want to see your reaction to my devastation in person
You have a reputation of making light of a serious situation, who's the next poor victim your hand of vengeance gonna land on?
Why take a shot at creation if you're just gonna fade into oblivion the moment you're challenged by the simplest question
This can't be your vision for me, or can it be? Do you enjoy watching us drown in misery, ****, probably but whats the reason?
You're supposed to never give us more than we can actually handle but I've been at maximum capacity since infancy, more added with every change of the season
I know it's somewhat of a tradition to **** on those who don't listen, follow direction or simply weren't paying close enough attention to decipher the complexion of the lesson
God forbid you take action or show compassion, if off the beaten path by even a meer fraction it's eternal damnation
You went out for milk with no intention of returning, I'm left waiting at an abandoned train station
I think you have a **** personality, I hope you take that personally, if I was your son I'd be calling on CPS to send someone to do an investigation

It ain't just me, look close and see that most your people are lost too but that doesn't seem to be a loss to you
Looks like it doesn't even bother you, indifferent to even those who look up to you
Could care less if your carelessness caused you to lose a few
Well aware the earth is a godless venue, how dare you demand we follow you when you've no plan to follow thru

Just show yourself and the rumors done, you're the one, all the evil I thought you spun could be undone
It's looking like you do this for fun, showing me the best spot on my cranium to position the gun
Fully loaded but only needing one and even before I squeeze I watched you turn your back and disappear over the horizon
Looking up to you is as harmful as looking directly at the sun, but blind faith is your expectation
When it comes to you I was a loser before I even begun, who can ever say they actually won?
In my opinion, no one, winning isn't an option when the opposition draws inspiration from a place of a self fulfilling Armageddon
Confession is self incrimination, life is incarceration and death a forgone conclusion
It's what comes after that we are left in the dark on and you care so little you let that carry on

©2022

ah, tis in regard to praise worthy of zee
sylph van halen wondrous sigh door house
   where boot LIX ******* ruled thee,
this missive (fertilized ova byproduct),
   sans newly wedded whoopie
between n betwixt carnal existence
   involving stiff joint courtesy of randy
(loch ness hike hood only imagine)

   engendered pleasurable scree
ming, when enfilade eruption occurred
   sans papa's engorged tree
into verdant valley shaped like miniature "v"
when bare naked lady n beastie boy - with re:
tractable shaped magic flute
   mountebank upon late
   (then young) mum when she

acquiesced bing dominated
   during **** version with glee
  club (prickly ***** per papa)
   unplanned romp or x game of thrones
  whereby rampant animal urge beckoned to free
flagellates searching mini verdant zyder zee

which warm fuzzy i.e. cop u lay shun
   nine months later with meself as baby
baked to imp perfection second to none
   this futre puff daddy slated
   tubby conceived via *** pistol gun
in tandem with mull ate mum,
   who cavorted in naked fun
   begat word **** as second brood ding bun
in the oven o me late mum...
   gone against desire tool heave anon!
------------------------------------
(long prose and poetry my atypical mode at introducing myself).

How apropos and divine to stumble (merely by happenstance) across a chance to claim my (virtual) fifteen minute fragments of fame just in the click and nick of time.  

Although gainfully unemployed (do to a series of unfortunate events that now finds me receiving social security disability), I can still vividly visualize utter despair and vouchsafe to acquire the requisite trappings emblematic of psychic misfortune.

Indelible, permanent and unfading abysmal damaging domestic dynamics got etched deep upon the memory of this erstwhile individual! The general gist in the form of quick brush strokes (namely written) of psychologically traumatizing recollection now follows.

I can attest to malevolent mean-spirited objections by my father (and late mother) in regard to my grossly unacceptable attire, deportment and work ethic.

Nonetheless, a sense of righteous vindictiveness manifested itself thru attendant Pyrrhic victories.

Back in those days I (a grown adult male and considerably past the age of rebelling against authoritarianism, and their only not so prodigal heir hiss son) poorly wore mantle and staff of supposed maturity.

Lack of compliance and obeisance with regulations and rules of Harris household (mainly thru being in constant denial to conform, maintaining emotional detachment and estrangement and evincing little or no concern for family members) brewed, festered and lied dormant during prepubescence.

The pressure and tension between and betwixt genetic kinfolk (so palpable one could sense an indomitable barrier), would rank as successfully dysfunctional way before such nom de guerre became in vogue.

Fury and wrath became markedly and noticeably pronounced once exiting the storied four walls of high school.

The venomous barrage and fusillade spewed forth from off parental tongues at an exponential rate and on a par to feeling the stinging cudgel of a horsewhip.

Out of fear and timidity, I consequently and silently absorbed cruel treatment.

Neither the eldest nor youngest sibling bore witness against the tender spirit of their only brother.

A façade as hardened (statue) conveniently adopted.

This embodiment poorly served to fend off onslaught of incessant anger.

This defense mechanism (identified as passive aggressive by mom) offered  minuscule protection as I mentally dodged lobbed insults and affected defiance (in league like poisoned bards and daggers hurled) of said threats and ultimatums.

No matter these bitter pills of blaring character assassination (mine), denunciations, fulminations, incrimination's, intimidation's, vociferous vocalizations (by said parents), I stood my ground at played the deaf mute, which repression and internalization of emotional maelstrom only caused self contamination and manifestation of humiliation.

They (dad and mom) became further angered and inflamed per my total oblivious stance! This reaction added insult to injury.

Deliverance (minus dueling banjos) per tough love lessons amplified to the tune of additional feats at becoming excoriated, ranted and raved against this, that and the other of my habits and nonchalant indifference to pursue work.

Those involuntary, unrehearsed and vicious family chats happened to be replete with heavily exploding and uncorked anger.

That (of course) would be a considerable understatement!

Dad (the de facto, elected and nominal spokesperson for unpleasant chest thumping exclamations, (which conveniently took place no earlier than the stroke of midnight) - emphatically swore (adrip with dramatic livid rage - like rabid beast) all manner of **** vulgarity and demanded from this insolent appearing male offspring immediate compliance.

Defiance and fatigue offered him predictable and usual blank stare upon hearing the kind and lenient sentence to pack bags and GET OUT!  

With dreaded approach of dire and sealed fate (played out in this over active imagination of mine with dad and mom egregiously fiendishly, grotesquely expunged themselves of any last vestige personal emotional belonging), I anxiously bided my time.

Those next couple weeks forced self-evaluation of Atheism.

The recurrent consideration of relinquishing nonestablishmentarian paradigm in favor and lieu with God, miracles and salvation seemed to clash being liberal thinker.

As indicated, the tempest and tirade quickly got turned back upon those who so masterfully tormented this second born, whose steadfast stoicism and subservience to a higher power perchance brought a temporary respite.

That deadline (which happened to be just one of many similar sputtering swearing fulminations, salacious ultimatums valuations of love) blithely came and went without incident - no matter expletive filled intense oath to remove) continued to keep pull to remain an occupant with kinfolk.

What caused especial ire and wrath to fester (per apparent ambivalence, indifference and nonchalance for me to take any job - even shoveling **** - particularly within emotional bedrock and firmament of deceased mother) constituted remembrance and vivid reminder of her father.

My maternal grandfather (Morris Kuritsky) supposedly never paid much heed to regular and steady employment (to support his four children and wife) despite his skill as a swift tailor. Hence my mother (Harriet) grew up and lived in utter destitution and poverty.

Mother subsequently reacted with ferocious vindictiveness upon witnessing a near magic transformation of near identical behavior in Matthew - the single heir to the family name.
---------------------------------------
...from this middle and sole son harris progeny
who willingly shared hoop - ping equal play zure
   arose from wading thru verbiage of letters abc...
...xyz
in various combinations he
arranges/arranged foe his passion to be
somewhat liter aery.


your prerogative, to message or email
(hay4four@aol.com) typed
   back what ever impulse            
juiced where ever spools create poetic strand
asper fingers comprising specific black keys land
to react inspires with nuttin grand
viz **** sapiens
   pearl jam chrome once canned
gene net tick trader joe brand.

postscript: a dream to wit ness
mine current high school senior
   a name y'all never guess
to make the entrance grade for university of penn
   after the truckload of application material
   someone or many doze *****!

http://about.me/matthewscott.harris

(alternately titled:
why yours truly crafted six electronic aliases).

No rhyme nor reason beatle browed
beastie boy long ago
created INXS of half dozen
email addresses gallivanting
feigning himself a most sought after

singular modest beau
courtesy crass brazen duplicity
eventually forced to eat crow
campy bonehead devoured carrion
(blech) property extinct dodo.

Egregious discreet escapades
sneeze silly explains at chew
(albeit lamely) philandering,
foolish extramarital dalliances,
I now regret and genuinely eschew

interesting complete one hundred eighty
sobering perspective regarding grandview
emotional shell shocked fallout experienced
courtesy this wanderlust myopic
quite reformed practicing Jew
whose doubting thomas belief, credo, dogma...

closely aligned with Unitarianism milieu
***** deeds done dirt cheap willingly crafted
previous poems offering adulterated preview
years after, the missus
got told deux gals I did hammer, nail and *****

at present juncture within space time continuum,
yours truly maintains critical view
bespeaking polygamous antics,
now reviled when garden variety
generic primate initially acted cagey
while going bananas within human zoo.

I sought amorous affections
(think verboten fruit) cuz marriage went askew
(daily altercations transpired
between me and the missus),

thus as iterated above
unhappy husband stealthily finagled bravado
(dreamt up one after another digital pseudonyms
blithely cavorting debauchery *******

unsuspecting self incrimination) cyber *** debut
successfully launched prurient hitherto
novel short lived role as Casanova
starring me... Matthew

Scott Harris whose hubris
coursed thru mine every sinew
until... worst fate than being caught
by cannibalistic Zulu.