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Em MacKenzie Oct 2018
I’ve had a rough night.
I’ve had a rough decade.
To clear my head I decided to go for a drive,
the cold autumn air, the dark sky, the vacant streets and the glow of the traffic lights can sometimes heal.
Not tonight.
The cold air chilled me to the bone,
the dark sky is without a single star,
the vacant streets create an atmosphere of being on another world; completely desolate, utterly isolated.
The traffic lights are all red, like the anger that burns inside me.
I shouldn’t have gotten in my car tonight.
I have a single headlight, my passenger side burnt out sometime last week.
These things bother me more than they should.

I drove to my old home, where I spent twenty three years of my life.
It’s gone and I knew it would be, they started the demolition in spring shortly after I left it, during one of our coldest winters yet.
But now, a house is being constructed on the lot.
Where once stood a small, modest, cottage looking home has been turned into only a gigantic skeleton of what will be a modern house that holds no unique characteristics.
It will blend in with every other house on the street.
Notice how I say house, not home.
They built right to the hedge, Jesus, they didn’t even leave room for a yard or driveway.
Besides all that, I can only think
“my mother’s soul left her body on this land.”
The same land they’ve covered.
Her temporary bedroom when she turned palliative will probably be their living room, or maybe bathroom.
Whoever lives in this house won’t know that the most wonderful mother in this world died where their house is standing.
They won’t know it was a Christmas morning, and the last thing I ever heard from her mouth was “your arms are getting strong” after helping her to her OMS supplied hospital bed.
These things bother me more than they should.

I usually drive fast and play my music loud,
tonight I’m driving fast to get anywhere but where I am,
tonight I’m playing my music loud to drown out my sobs.
The kind of sobs that hit your body like aggressive shocks.
I hate crying, I despise sobbing.
I don’t get embarrassed, but I’m mortified by my own vulnerability even though I’m alone.
I even fake a laugh and shake my head.
Pretend it’s nothing, and that I’m an idiot, that “that’s just life” and so forth.
These things bother me more than they should.

When you lose the only home you’ve ever known,
are you destined to be transient eternally?
Is it possible to find someone who will love every part of you,
and love you enough to actually show it?
But most importantly,
does it ever stop hurting,
even for a ******* second?
Just spewing out the cold and dark feelings that are devouring me right now. Sorry for the angst.
aviisevil Oct 2015
.
.
.



how things change
people don't remain
the same
again
it rains
the same
again
it pains
the same
again







it takes your name
and the same story grows old
so cold
in questions and answers
why was I forsaken
where were you mistaken
when It was all taken
my heart was broken beyond
any mechanical healing
you could have saved me
for someone else
J Jul 2017
As I close my eyes I can hear everything,
Not a song that birds sing,
The pain that I feel,
Wounds that are so long to heal.

I can feel my tears building up,
As high as the clouds above,
Slowing breaking.... slowly dying,
When will I survive the pain that i'm feeling?

My heart is crushing,
Shhh, they shouldn't hear a thing,
Maybe it will pass,
Please make it fast.

As I close my eyes,
I don't know if I will still see the sun rise.
Phoenix Oct 2018
You say you love me
But do you?
I’m all you think about
But do you even know my last name
You don’t realize it,
But I do
I’m slowly fading from you
October 16, 2018
Laying in the darkness
Stars glimmer brightly
You hold me tight
This cold winters evening
Whispering in my ear
Saying how much you love me

I turn away
Pretending to sleep
Ashamed to face you
Wishing to be somewhere else
Anywhere else

But it’s not because of you
That I turn away

I’ve dreamed once, trusted once
Loved once but now I can’t
No matter how I try

I do try
But all I see is
My heart ripped in a million pieces
Thrown
Fluttering to the white crusted river of tears below

And now
Like an old photo in the sun
I’m fading
Fading from dreams, fading from trust
Fading from love…

Fading from you

No it’s not because of you
That I’m afraid to love

It’s because of him
He who I gave everything to
I gave my time, my mind, my trust
Shared my fears, my dreams, my thoughts…

My bed

No it’s because of him
That love has become
The thing I
Fear
The most
Hungry Panda Oct 2018
I look down at my hands
There I see they seem to be fading away
I feel like a pill dissolving in a cup of water
I can no longer see my hands
Just a blur of my wrists
The fading continues
Why do I have to leave when everyone else can stay
I am leaving
Leaving forever
I try to call for help
But no one answers
I see everyone else carrying on
but no one talks
No one helps
I can tell they know I am here
Side glances
Whispers
They know I need help
Maybe they just don’t want to
Maybe they don’t want to be needing help too
Loneliness isn’t contagious
I am fading more
Now I know they want no part of me
Now I am almost gone
I will be gone forever
I wonder what they will do
When I am gone
I don’t think they will care
If they don’t care when I need help
Why would they care when I don’t
Yanamari Oct 2018
When people tell me
That I'm strong
I'm beautiful
I'm amazing...
I don't feel anything.
Tell me these things
When I cry about the pain
That has lasted me years,
When I'm up at night
Even when I'm lacking sleep,
And
When I'm expected to smile
My whole life when I don't feel your warmth.

This ice palace I reside in,
Is it my lifeline?
Because if it is
Wouldn't it be better if
It melted?

All these moments
Have become entangled
And the momentary lapses
Irregular,
My world all
Grey
And
I just can't do this.

But my calls are stuck
In my throat.
I'm frozen.
I'm not resilient.
It's taking me so long
So long
To stand up.
And my heart is giving up
It's beat
Fading.
...
Jordan Rowan Jan 2016
I'm calm, I promise
Just don't convert me
Just please be honest
And don't desert me
I'm lost in obsession
In all directions
Will you be laughing,
When I lose possession?

My heart's fading
But there's no answer
To all my waiting
It's like a cancer
That now controls me
It's gaining power
I'm fading slowly
Under desire

The night's a weapon
I use against me
It leaves impressions
On me gently
And when the morning
Comes in higher
Without a warning
Comes desire

If I'm still waiting
When you find me
No escalating
Just please come find me
When it's over
All of this waiting
All this desire
Is never fading
Alyssa Underwood Dec 2016
O morning sky of endless blue
Tinged with purply-pinky hue
You tell me of His mercies new
Whose heart pursues my own

O geese in wingèd winter's flight
Your honking cries arouse delight
And lift my gaze to seek thy sight
As wooing from His hand

O softest breeze which skims my face
And stirs with such mysterious grace
My soul to reach for Love’s embrace
You brush me with His kiss

O snowflakes falling to the ground
You pierce my heart without a sound
To crave a purity only found
Beneath a bloodied cross

O setting sun in half-light glowing
Waning day’s last glorious blush showing
You paint with fire my spirit’s own knowing—
This life is fading fast

O stars of midnight’s blackest sky
Paraded forth, you pull my eye
Toward One Who speaks this ceaseless cry:
“I’m coming back for you.”

O creeping fog to dawn’s light clinging
You whisper, Love’s veiled message bringing,
With haunting echoes faintly singing,
“Lose all of you in Him.”
~~~

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world."  ~ Psalm 19:1-4a

~~~
Saltnoon Nov 2018
Tossing & turning towards the dying light
Tears on the pillow
Desperate calls were made
Empty words were shared

I tied a scarf around my neck
Pull it harder and let it go
Gabriel burnS Oct 2017
The Sun is growing distant
The Earth is turning in her bed
Waking up in an instant
With her nightgown
White in the cold
Opting to sleep it through
And dream herself up, green
And breathe proximity, serene
CK Baker Jan 2017
I can’t wait
to be a hundred
turning over the thoughts
and plots
of Caledon
floating
on Zimmer inserts
and dusted Florsheims
three steps forward
in a dream woven
summer afternoon

Through the
barn doors
and bee keeper flats
assimilating voices
from Sachems
and Forbes
and Hope Healers
coming and going
as the countryman
comes
and goes

You can feel it
in a place like this
the 3 in the tree memories
from Allis Chalmers
to combine parts
of Sundrim poppers
to shallow carp fields
the patterned lawsons
and fading caulk
(on ripped and rolled
frontier seats)

it’s a wishing well
for the peddler
and bold hydrangea...
both peeking their way
through
the rusted
grinders wheel
Seema Feb 2018
I will fade away, like a sketch
Gone, torn, broken so far away
Where no one would be there to catch
Not even a word to say

Alone, in this busy world
An identity of an unknown
I'd be forgotten soon
Like a weary leaf, been blown

You promised to be by my side
But instead, you pushed me outside
Dropped from a glass tower
Taunting every minute, every hour

What did I do wrong?
What have I ever done?
You hated our favorite song
The love that shined, now all gone

Perhaps, burry me in your memory
And walk away like a stranger
You'd not stop, even if I tried
And never see the danger

I'd be fine, yes I'll be
Once you were mine
But now on my own, living you alone
I'll be fine

So sorry, I took up your time
That for now, you labeled as wasted
You never told me my crime
But the bitter hate, I tasted

I'd have lived by your side
In the dark days, showing you light
But now, I am fading away
Like a mist, in the darkest night

I should've never loved you
If I'd known, you'd leave my side
While breaking my heart into two
You gobbled up, all your lies

What should I think?
What should I do?
Atleast give me a clue
Of what I should do?

In a blink, you took all away
No reasons, no words, no nothing at all
So I am fading away, yes I am
I cannot hear your call

Coz,
         I
            am
                  Falling
                              Falling,
                         ­             
                                                 Fading
                                                ­            Away....


©sim
Scribbling thoughts with imagination.
Ivy Dec 2018
Just like clouds on a rainy day
your gentle words fade away
your letters fade from black to grey
your smile slowly fades away
and one day you will also-
fade away
Hollow Steve Oct 2018
I'm ripping myself apart again,
as the wind continues to call my name.
Its presence subdues me
Maybe I can be myself again?
But then I realize,
There is no self
Only hollow grounds
And I play catch in the hole.
I'd rather something pull me up
But there is no such grasp.
My love bids farewell,
As I shed inner tears.
I know it to be temporary.
Nothing lasts forever
And nothing really matters.
As if the pain could overcome my numbness,
I most likely wanted this.
My love, my ache, my other regret.
If I was dead before,
I am still so now.
At least this painful void is gone,
And you helped me set it free.
I thank you again for the remembrance
And I hope this all makes sense.
But my place remains the same
Where do I go from here?
nosipho khanyile Oct 2018
It's the
the love I know that used to be there...

it's the
fading passion that's leaving me bare.


It's the recent use of punctuation in my poetry;

filling the gaps I cannot express.
Salmabanu Hatim Jun 2018
I had put on weight,
I enjoyed life,
I  was optimist,
I was my children's  number one,
My husband had not left me,
Though my beauty was receding.
Didn't have time for beauty parlours,
I decided to sum up myself in the mirror,
Looked at my curves,
None at all,
Looked at my face,
Slight traces of beauty left.
Needed a face lift,
Smile still **** and beautiful,
Hair, high time I went to a good hairstylist.
I turned this way and that way,
I was no more stylish,
I was fading.
Tears welled up in my eyes,
I heard a chorus from behind me,
"BEST CREATION FROM GOD"
My three children and husband
gathered around me for a family hug,
We love you as you are,
Nothing More Nothing Less.
Aztec Cathrine Feb 2018
My friend me and you did everything together. I miss you every day.
I hope to see your smile once again. We had fun together in the sun all day. But the fading memories hurt me when I do remember them. I have hope that one day you will return. Please make these fading memories come back to me. I am feeling so alone. I feel like only you understand me in all ways possible. We were really good friends. I look back on the memories we have made and see the fun we have been through. I wish that these fading memories will haunt me. My heart is fading, our friendship, our trust, our love, and fading memories.
#depressed
CK Baker Oct 2017
they’re pouring out of the
woodwork
those pretentious machiavellians
in ailing albino frames
eccentric masked figures
milling about the glow light
like night moths
in a cold london fog

lunatic gazers
with seeping moles
pinned by frogmen and twine
spider climbers
in hell fire
splitting seams
on the fading
and hideous ink

guards of the perch
stand on hades hand
while monsters and demons
with severed limbs
taunt the condemned
and wanting
souls of the ******

cauldron fire
in blood red sky
silent screams
hack and wheeze
gas lines broken
words unspoken
teetering backward
on the dark shadows
of the phantom abyss
Celeste Briefs Nov 2018
awake between two worlds
my body breaths a final sigh
looking up through clouds
that hide your fading eyes
tears rain down above my head
I search in vain
for your shadow in my bed
where have I gone?
where is my mind?
whose body have I brought to life?
my fertile soul is groaning
beneath your heavy hands
looking up through cellophane
to see my last breath crystallize
within a winter day
Today was bright and sunny
Yet now I feel alone
As the sun sets with a whisper
A voice I cannot hear

Another day without you
You fade into a memory
As you fail to call my name

Will this time bring us together
Or leave us both apart
Only you can know the answer
As I wait here in the dark

A simple sign will you give me
A single word or phrase
Something to acknowledge
To brighten up my day
Missing the light of someone's voice in your life?
42 Sep 2018
The cigarettes to dry your pout
After the beer washes you out
You are  perpendicular the bar from which they had kicked you out of
Missed the show you know that you were so hoping to go to and your story has moved on slowly from what you'd had wished it'd been

And the man you've been dragging through these thistles that you've used for years and beers all bought for you gives with no end knows not what he should do

But what can he do?
Baby blue what can we do?
No body knows what's best for you and we cant keep that poison
From seeping in
September Roses Nov 2017
Rot
My soul has started to rot
Charred black by the flame of heartbreak
Cold as the night you left
I don't think I'm breathing anymore
The feeling of dread carried in with the wind through every open window
Every shadow whispers your name
I feel myself fading as fast as you left
I don't feel the drive and passion anymore
My happy place has crumbled to dust, broken fragments of reality
The air I breath poisons my lungs as I fall faster and faster into the hellish hole that appears on every path
My heart as empty as the canyons that used to make me feel free
My breath as cold as the pouring rain that used to send me to sleep
My soul as rotten as the core of the witches apple
The witch that has cursed me
Cursed me with the boulders I carry on my shoulders
Cursed me to lie when I say I'm fine
Truly and honestly made for poetry not of reality
Prabhat Chhetri Oct 2017
not so long ago
they made you feel
not so alone

before
the social medias and  compulsive criterias

and the claustrophobia
that comes
when you will always understand where some people come from but never love them for it

these days it sits in a blind corner
like a forgotten foreigner
mentioned in sentences
that start with
"remember back when..."

The lesson of technology is to go with the flow

The lesson of time is in old and fading photographs
where you are holding
a landline phone
and pretending to talk into it
because your mother wanted to take a picture
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