"dumbass" poems
Sometimes beneath close eyelids
I quest to bring you back
As if you were driftwood floating
Downstream on your back.
I dip my hands beneath the veil
And dry away the death
And from my parting, weeping lips
I give you back your breath-
Just like the rising sunset burning
In the summer sky
Paints and saints the mountaintops
And casts their colors bright.
*Unrhymed Notes:
Sometimes I dream I can bring you back
Just as simply as dipping my hands into the water
To retrieve a floating piece of driftwood;
Dry the death from your skin
And breath life back into you
The way the sunrise reanimates
The Dark Mountains
Each and every day.
I see your Ocean eyes open
Embrace you like I'm trying to
Fold you into my skin
Where I can keep you always
And feel your summer peach warm flesh
Tangible against my permafrost fingers.
If the dead could talk
Nothing profound would leave your lips
They'd only quirk into a Cheshire smile
And you'd tell me to let go
Relinquish
Move along and stop standing still
Life is for the Living
Death is for the dead
And dreams are for the foolish.*
"You *******
Aug 27, 2015
Aug 27, 2015 at 3:08 PM UTC
My blood is boiling
my head is spinning
anger and anxiety is ******* winning.
I don't know what to do
I honestly just want to ******* **** you.
you **** me off,
i hate how everytime you ****** up
and i cut you off
my ******* took you back.
i hate being soft-hearted.
i hate you but i love you..
no one treated me like you did, you were there when i needed someone.
the **** you did will stay with me forever.
i've never been so hurt by a person like you.
people like you make me have trust issues,
but what can i do?
i never listen. i just forgive then get hurt all over again.
but no. i need to stop. this has to ******* end.
**** you, you're not my ******* friend you are dead
to me ************
Oct 30, 2017
Oct 30, 2017 at 1:01 PM UTC
**only a ******* man could love a ******** poodle**
everybody knows poodle one of the smartest breeds,
not exactly a manly man's dog, but great to have around to feed,
feed you, when alone, and you need a good conversation
had me a good woman
she would say:
"hon, kindly fetch me this and that,"
**** dog would get her whatever she wanted,
me, didn't mind at all, loved taking care of her,
but the dog loved her more and be there and back
before I could jack my feet off the couch
she would say:
"hon, come near, give me a
nuzzle and a kiss, a cuddle and a lick"
**** dog, double quick, cause it spoke better human than most,
was in her lap burying her laughing with affection infectious,
before I could jack my feet off the couch
she would say:
"honey love, meet me bed upstairs,
love me sweet and complete,
when done, please love me
over again twice as nice"
**** dog hearing the sacred holy word bed
was up there in a flash, howling "what's taking youse guys so long,"
tail impatient drumming up a rock n' roll storm,
while we slow pokey, taking our own sweetest time,
humans messing around first with a little downtown downstairs,
prefatory, preparatory work,
both our feet lazy still on the couch kissing the cold away
when we got to our destiny destination, had to kick that
**** ******** foggy doggy outside, close the door,
say no more, **** dog did whine and cry like a baby chile,
till we couldn't take it no more and let that **** dog in
she would say:
"lover man, I love you better than twice I thought I could
ever love another, cause you two idiots two-gether make me
sweeter and completer than I ever knew I could be happier"
like I said, only a ******** man** could love a ******* poodle**
Jul 2, 2017
Jul 2, 2017 at 8:29 AM UTC
bow tie and collars
nice pair of suspenders
buzzcut and braid
wanna get laid?
sex-tuned world
labels all swirled
high level of confusion
doubt and frustration
all the stigma about
sexuality gender who you are
we tell you where you fit
labels aplenty
let me name many
**** *** thot, *****
these and much much more
***** ***** and traitor
see you all later
******* druggie, and ****
nerd, geek, emo, goth
**** ****** loner
crackhead and stoner
athletic and pretty
simple or ****
labels aplenty
go on, take your pick
May 3, 2016
May 3, 2016 at 9:14 AM UTC
I just want someone to laugh with, to hug me and hold me close so i dont drift away.
Yet i am picky
Yet i push people away
Yet i avoid relationships entirely
I guess im just a *******
Jun 19, 2015
Jun 19, 2015 at 6:16 AM UTC
Tigers are dope
I want two tattooed on my back
Oh snap...
Really?
I want one on my thigh
**** that's wack
Copying me
No no it's not for you it's for me
Right just like my so called stupid heart emojis
Why are you mad I just like the idea
You like that idea and a million more
Such a ******* ******* *****
Don't snap on me for something so small
So I send heart emojis, you're lucky I text you at all
Mar 25, 2019
Mar 25, 2019 at 12:49 AM UTC
I was walking my big Ridgeback Mr. Brown
across the Starbucks parking lot
when this little white poodle started yapping
from the rolled-down window of a brand new Mercedes.
Mr. Brown responded like shot from guns
and before I knew it
he was scratching at the Mercedes door
eager to make friends with the poodle.
Then the Mercedes owner came running out of Starbucks
spilling latte all over his substantial stomach
What the ****
Look at those ******* scratches!
Do you know how much it costs
to fix a car like this?
I’m suing you and your big ******* dog !
Not wise, sir, I responded…
to be so aggressive with someone you don’t even know
and who has a 110-lb. African Lionhound
on the end of his leash.
I might be a whacked-out Vietnam veteran
with a hairtrigger temper
or a gang member
or maybe I'm just a senior citizen
with an extremely protective service dog.
Well, he said, his belly shaking,
look at my **** car.
I am looking at it I said
and handed him the keys to my ’68 Shelby Cobra
parked and shiny right nearby.
Take mine, I said
it’s more fun to drive.
Aug 29, 2013
Aug 29, 2013 at 5:56 AM UTC
When I was younger, my mom always told me these fairytales
Even if she hadn't, I would've still known them
the basic plot of almost every fairytale is this
Miserable young girl, maybe already princess, maybe hidden princess
whatever
Prince charming comes and whisks her away to a better life
somehow he always finds the princess, as if he knew who it was all along
She was in distress, he saved her, happily ever after
but what happens if you wait too long for the prince and nothing ever gets solved. What if you're stuck right where you are, with nothing changing unless you change it yourself.
What if Prince Charming comes, see how messed up everything is and doesn't know how to fix it.
What if Prince is a *******
Then what?
Your left there ******* with the ******* "Prince Charming", who doesn't know all you've been through or how to even help besides taking you away to the big stupid castle. I'd rather take the time and effort to save myself than fight those odds. I'd rather get my crap together and do the rescuing myself thank you very much. Does that mean I won't end up with a happy ending? NO!
I refuse to believe that if I don't play little miss pathetic that I won't be happy! I refuse! That isn't how the world was made
that's why the world isn't a ******* fairytale
so I refuse to be saved.
If some ******* ******* prince thinks he can save me
he's in for a surprise.
I don't need to be saved.
Mar 3, 2015
Mar 3, 2015 at 9:49 AM UTC
I am not one of them nor will I ever be.
That is the truth.
I am a loser; worthless
Are things I am not.
Popular and hot
Are words that spell me.
Weak and ugly
I scorn them.
Beautiful people
Like me are uncommon.
Ugly losers
I am beautiful.
I hate lies like
I'm a *******
They tell me
I am not one of them nor will I ever be.
Dec 12, 2013
Dec 12, 2013 at 9:39 PM UTC
****
Forget. unreasonable. cravings. knockout.
****
**** his. intimate. treasure.
*****
Because. it. truthfully. causes. hurt.
****
Dont. admit. meaningless. nothings.
MOTHER ******
Most. of. the. happiness. ends. roughly. Forget. undesirable. creatures. emitting. regret.
*******
Dont. undermine. morals. before. assessing. serious. situations.
HELL.
Handle. emotional. love. loss
Jun 26, 2013
Jun 26, 2013 at 2:41 AM UTC
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Mar 4, 2015
Mar 4, 2015 at 2:03 PM UTC
She sees blindly, selectively.
She sees the man whos arms are the only place she feels safe, not the violent brute who beats her if she breathes to loudly.
She sees her friends who care about her more than anything, not the people who complain to her constantly, as if they've forgotten they have working ears.
She sees a job she loves where she gets to help people, not the one where her boss feels her up & tells her if she says or does anything, she's fired.
She sees the man in the elevator who says "good morning ma'am" every morning & "good night" every night, not the man who stares down the revealing shirts her boss makes her wear to keep her job.
She sees the man who helps her wash her car, not the man who spits at her window & calls her a ******* ***** because she accidentily cut him off.
She sees freedom & a way out, not the gun.
She sees blindly, selectively.
Nov 8, 2012
Nov 8, 2012 at 9:48 AM UTC
Where it all started...
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/2018179/only-a-dumbass-man-could-love-a-smartass-poodle/
<•>
The Obvious Fact: Dogs Have Souls
******** poodle, of prior fame, suggests*
"surely this ditty will trend before one reads to the very end"
1. as everyone loves dogs
2. especially smart poodles
3. who writes soulful poems
really, here we are talking and you are gazing into my brown eyes adoringly,
and
you humans
still debate if there is a
god?"*
and then dog yawned,
a gigundo doggy yawn,
which is a supernatural,
miraculous biblical thing to behold
<•>
for no reason other than gravity
man says,
sometimes my earbuds fall out of my ears,
without provocation, of their own accord,
to remind that though they're in,
the music isn't in,
and neither
am I anywhere real, concrete,
existential,
to be found
which prompts a furious philosophical poodle to man discourse,
as to my exact whereabouts
badass poodle quotes Joan Baez (Diamonds and Rust):
"My poetry was lousy you said,"
and to verify my geo-physical locus,
and his opinion of the human's written hocus pocus
poetry,
gentle farts and adds, low growling,
"there your are!"
how I love that
centered, down to earth,
in my bed, in my heart
dog
<•>
"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action."
Goldfinger
a favorite phrase from a movie of one's youth.
that rises to the surface, when smartass-u-know-who
reads my weak human mind and yes,
farts twice more, adding poetically:
*"the best things in life always
come in threes,
her, me, and you"*
"glad to be included," I replied,
to which he licked his
privates publicly,
adding lowly,
*"every smart poodle need a leashed human,
as if any self-respecting poodl could or would
type their own poems,
who's
the *** now!"*
and we got up, got the leash
(for human to carry)
put our earbuds in,
went for a sunrise
sniff-walk-and-compose
on the beach
the two **********
arguing
which Pandora station to turn on,
two only love poets, both thinking of their shared
her
finally, compromising, in tail wagging agreement on,
The Righteous Brothers
<•>
p.s. lol, only a ******* man could love a ******** poodle.
~
8:33am
8/11/17
Aug 11, 2017
Aug 11, 2017 at 6:32 PM UTC
Here's to the friends who will drop anything to be there when I need them.
Here's to the friends who sit with the intent to listen,
not to speak.
Here's to the friends who fill my head with constant laughter instead of cold silence or harsh words.
Here's to the friends who know how terrible a home can be so they take me in whenever I need.
Here's to the friends who tell me right away if I've done something wrong.
Here's to the friends who know how to communicate.
Here's to the friends that watch The Golden Girls with me and don't ask me to change the channel because they know I've never had a grandmother of my own.
Here's to the friends who don't cancel plans because they get a better offer.
Here's to the friends who keep me going and child like while the world is growing into a cold adult.
Here's to the friends that dream with me and talk as if they will be a reality some day.
Here's to the friends that miss me when I'm gone.
Here's to the friends that understand my love for Shay Mitchell.
Here's to the friends who call me a ******* but join in on the fun anyway.
Here's to the spontaneous road trips,
the unplanned adventures,
the nights with too much alcohol,
and too little food.
Here's to the friends who come over to watch football even though they don't like it but they know you do.
Here's to the friends who don't exclude you on family days but invite you along because you are family.
Here's to the friends who kick my *** when they find a razor in my room because if I want to feel pain they might as well get some fun out of it all.
Here's to the friends that say I'm sorry and mean it.
Here's to the friends that tell me it will be okay and mean it.
Here's to the friends that say I love you and mean it.
Dec 19, 2013
Dec 19, 2013 at 1:15 PM UTC
No brain
You're a little ******* gnome
Walkin' around all 5'5 of him
Acting like its his game we play
Shutthefuckupyoustupidlittlesonofabitch
You couldn't get respect even if
You actually tried to learn concept
& I truly hope, I know that hurts you
That little piece of pride
Mommy always told you,
you're the apple of her eye, when she cares
& when she doesn't?
*You're her little ******* nightmare.*
Your father was the love of her life
She swears
But she wouldn't touch him with a 7 foot pole
Again, if she dared
Well I'm letting you know, you little gnome
I've found someone so much better
He actually gives a **** about me
He makes me so much wetter
He's everything I've ever dreamed of
I've left you
High & dry
Choking on my ******* dust.
Her little garden doll
Peeling to reveal that over time
You'll do nothing but sit & rust.
Over the years chipping away the paint
Faster & faster
**Snort & shoot your way to hell
you ******* ****** *******
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 10:18 PM UTC
Hello, you
I guess you're new
Because anyone with any sense
Would know that crossing me doesn't last
I've dealt with plenty of *******
You're not new and niether are your words.
Eliminating you is easier than drinking water.
Doesn't cost much and takes little time.
Surprised? Well, your grand mistake,
Your extremely stupid move,
Was trying to cross a girl like me
Who has absolutely nothing to lose.
Not for a while, anyway.
Dec 12, 2013
Dec 12, 2013 at 8:43 AM UTC
You earthlings...
You think you know it all
Yet you're so far behind that you think you're first
You were last in the queue
But turned your back on the rest
And pretended to be first in line
You suffer from a lack of compassion
A lack of understanding
And worst of all a severe lack of Love
You live in your falsely created world
Always looking for a leader
Yet you are incapable of following
You cling to your god called money
Everyone gets weighed on the same scales
You have no idea what a harmonious existence is about
Because you are forever fighting about land that belongs to nobody
It belongs to the earth you *******
Yet you gave it different names and marked it as your territory
Will you take it with you when you die foolish man?
You create wars and **** innocent people
And once the chaos is over
You receive a badge and get branded as a hero
Earthlings love chasing the wind
It's your favourite hobby
Nothing makes you happier
You weigh success in monetary terms
Because it's all you idiots know
You destroy what is precious and beautiful
Your unconditional love is conditional
Why don't you learn from the animal kingdom?
They belong to no political party
No organized religious group
They are simply happy to breathe
You see the world in black and white
Yet you have full colour vision
But tradition prevents you from activating it
You select what you want to know
And condemn what you don't understand
Nov 4, 2022
Nov 4, 2022 at 8:35 AM UTC
You think you're a badass?
Shout at us all for no reason?
Blame me for your problems like I give a ****
Take it out on my family and expect US to be sorry?
Well **** you, you and your weird *** hair do.
I never had a beef with you
I didn't even know you!
You believe what others say about me
Well come at me now what do you see?
Am I all that they said I was cracked up to be?
Get the ******* message, I don't mess around, you hear me?
Or do I have to bash your brains into the concrete?
Would that be enough to get the message across?
If I blew out your kneecaps out would I feel sorry for your loss?
Hell ******* no, I'd blow your **** legs off!
Wait, ***** that I,d take a handsaw and cut em off!
Break every single bone in your ******* hands
Smash em with a hammer without a second glance
call 911 now that you can't touch a **** phone!
how would you like it if I barged in your home?
Sayin I'm all that and the president too
Yell at your family and blame you too?
Like your haircut? Let's see it all over my wall!
Hold the phone ******* let's give your insides a house call!
Oops, was that your gut, let me rip it open for you
You won't need it after I get done with you.
******* you thought that this would go down smooth?
**** that, drink some barbed wire too!
Let me tell you this just one last time
Make my girl cry again and I'll make you wish I'd killed you..
May 31, 2013
May 31, 2013 at 3:31 AM UTC
We have seen each other for a moment
you are immature, ***** ******* and idiot.
you are a tool
you are awkward and you think the world revolves around you
I have come to notice
that some people play dumb, when they are really dumb
you are unintelligent academically and socially
you need to grow the **** up
you never learn from your mistakes
You believe rumors more than my words
someone started a rumor that I was cheating
and you believed other six people instead of me.
You are so jealous of me
since I have moved on with someone else
better than you will ever be.
And every night I ask myself why I dated you
and I laugh every single day when I hear stories about you
that you are ******* ******* disrespectful and unfriendly to others.
I can only imagine what the next victim will be
and how she will tolerate your bad childish behavior.
I feel sorry for you because you never are over **** about your past
you get annoyed and bothered by little things.
You thought that I ruined everything here
but really, you helped me understand childish men like you
and now I can look for a better man.
Mar 12, 2013
Mar 12, 2013 at 1:02 PM UTC
As I sit,
In the room with these,
Savages of social activity,
I see how the system works.
It starts with the gossip,
Then the shaming,
Every snide comment at
Someone’s expense.
Then, back to
“Normal”
Conversation.
“Have you seen this video?”
“Oh, it’s hilarious.”
“Wait, who texted who?”
“She’s doing Him?”
“What are we having for lunch today?”
They speak as if insults are normal!
Ratchet
Loser
****
*******
*****
I really don’t want to
Hear this anymore.
Can you stop?
Or is your tiny brain
Programmed
To speak that way?
“Oh god,
Look at her.
She’s so,
Insert insult here.”
You’re all the same.
Different face,
Same brain.
You
Hipsters of the modern day
Can go jump,
Because your version of
Philosophy
Is matching underwear
And ******* your “friend’s”
boyfriend behind their back.
Do I want to sit with you?
No.
Why in the hell,
Did you even ask?
Aug 19, 2013
Aug 19, 2013 at 12:06 PM UTC
Trust,
A funny word really
A stupid concept
Why open up
Why let people in
They care for one reason
It helps themselves
It allows them to have a peaceful mind
But trust is a ******* lie
Never is it kept
No matter how hard you try
It's always ripped away
It slaps you in the face
Leaves you lying on the ground
It has no boundaries as to where to stop
It will leave you bleeding more than any cut
It's pain slices deep, wounding
Agonizing hurt, misuse ringing in your ear
Telling you
YOU are the fool
YOU gave me out
YOU let your guards down
Are you mad at ME for YOUR ******* moves?
Mmhhh that's funny too
Blame me for wrecking you ?
When in reality,
It was YOU all along
Your a ****** *******
YOU WANTED to tell you wanted the attention
YOU WANTED them to feel sorry
No matter how much you deny it
That selfish ***** "sliver" of you leaked out
You messed it all up
You wanted pity
Well guess what now you have it
Now everyone knows your ***** little secret
And all because you misused the words
"I trust you"
All because you were too ****** weak
To pathetic to hold your stupid *** together
Your exposed because in truth
THAT is what you wanted all along
You stupid *** *****
There is never such a thing called trust
NEVER will it stay between just you and them
And you KNEW THAT *****
This is your fault
You see never is there trust
Just the falsity of it
Just the green screen as to what happens
Just this lie, deception
Because really trust was never yours
To be handing out
So really was it the betrayal that hurt you
With broken trust
Or maybe, just maybe
It was yourself
Jan 12, 2015
Jan 12, 2015 at 11:18 PM UTC