"chloroform" poems
The tractor stands frozen - an agony
To think of. All night
Snow packed its open entrails. Now a head-pincering gale,
A spill of molten ice, smoking snow,
Pours into its steel.
At white heat of numbness it stands
In the aimed hosing of ground-level fieriness.
It defied flesh and won't start.
Hands are like wounds already
Inside armour gloves, and feet are unbelievable
As if the toe-nails were all just torn off.
I stare at it in hatred. Beyond it
The copse hisses - capitulates miserably
In the fleeing, failing light. Starlings,
A dirtier sleetier snow, blow smokily, unendingly, over
Towards plantations Eastward.
All the time the tractor is sinking
Through the degrees, deepening
Into its hell of ice.
The starting lever
Cracks its action, like a snapping knuckle.
The battery is alive - but like a lamb
Trying to nudge its solid-frozen mother -
While the seat claims my buttock-bones, bites
With the space-cold of earth, which it has joined
In one solid lump.
I squirt commercial sure-fire
Down the black throat - it just coughs.
It ridicules me - a trap of iron stupidity
I've stepped into. I drive the battery
As if I were hammering and hammering
The frozen arrangement to pieces with a hammer
And it jabbers laughing pain-crying mockingly
Into happy life.
And stands
Shuddering itself full of heat, seeming to enlarge slowly
Like a demon demonstrating
A more-than-usually-complete materialization -
Suddenly it jerks from its solidarity
With the concrete, and lurches towards a stanchion
Bursting with superhuman well-being and abandon
Shouting Where Where?
Worse iron is waiting. Power-lift kneels
Levers awake imprisoned deadweight,
Shackle-pins bedded in cast-iron cow-shit.
The blind and vibrating condemned obedience
Of iron to the cruelty of iron,
Wheels screeched out of their night-locks -
Fingers
Among the tormented
Tonnage and burning of iron
Eyes
Weeping in the wind of chloroform
And the tractor, streaming with sweat,
Raging and trembling and rejoicing.
5.2k
You are a tornado.
You spin anyone too close to you, leaving them in a dizzy fit.
You break them before they break you.
No wonder I thought I loved you.
A tornado like me.
Promising trouble at every turn.
You whispered, "I love you".
Presenting it with secrecy.
Holding me hostage with twisted logic.
I am a tornado, I admit it.
And two tornados only bring more chaos.
I'm self-destructive but, you're too much for me.
Your lips were drowned in chloroform.
And I kissed you for the burn.
The same way I smoke cigarettes to pollute my lungs.
We drag each other to hell.
Shoot each other's hearts.
Naming it love, so we don't have to call it "just ***
You were always too much for me.
Too much chaos.
In return, I was presented with such little love.
We wrapped up each other's hearts.
Hid them in the shelves.
And danced away our summer days in my sheets.
Sep 24, 2016
Sep 24, 2016 at 12:21 AM UTC
the glass jar
full to the brim; steaming
teaming with drowsiness
he left it
out
lid-less
7 pages ,
front & back
he said he had so much to say
he could've gone on for
biblical lengths
he drove 45 minutes out of his way
just to say
nothing
Only glare
he said he thought about me
for the last 3 days
even more at nighttime
in the dark room
unhinged; TV on
I unfriended him nervously
phonecall
phonecall
phonecall
phonecall
phonecall
voicemail
Nov 13, 2012
Nov 13, 2012 at 2:38 PM UTC
12/3/12 16:15pm
The painted lady waiting in the wings
Now parts her lips to sing her lover's name;
She enters, arms spread outwards as she sings
Like some fantastic orchid made of flame.
She scatters fragrant petals in the hall
And yet more petals round the master bed
Her sweet song echoes like a linnet's call
Her swirling silks are edged with golden thread.
Then comes a telegram from overseas
To say her love will not return again
The lady falls, still singing, to her knees;
Her heartbeat speeds, like wings beating in vain.
Such is the way of love made through a lie;
Like chloroform, to **** a butterfly.
Mar 12, 2012
Mar 12, 2012 at 12:15 PM UTC
I hold glass bottles to the sky
In thunderstorms,
I go home and shelf them for light.
I crawl up and back into you
In thunderstorms
and wrap in warmth till I can't breathe.
Drown me
In thunderstorms;
Hold my head down inside your veins.
Your goosebumps hug me to you, snug,
In thunderstorms
When I find asylum under
Your thumb.
In thunderstorms,
I love you again. Just for a while,
While my mind pours columns of cold,
In thunderstorms
That hang over my head and haunt
Me with self-doubt till I stress out.
In thunderstorms,
I watch the rain drip down my brain
And cut through ice and chloroform.
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 4, 2016 at 3:30 AM UTC
Sparks from the fire float into the night, pretending to be fireflies
Ashes from the fire reminds me of lost souls, searching for a way back into life
Smoke from the fire surrounds and blinds me, like bad memories
Flames from the fire reach out to me, beckoning me to embrace them
Smells from the fire consume me, acting like chloroform
Crackling from the fire puts me in reality, sounding like guns in the distance
Color from the fire convinces me of anger, but also of beauty
Heat from the fire warms me, so much like my hatred
Embers from the fire glow with motivation to prove something
The fire in me is what makes me alive
Dec 10, 2012
Dec 10, 2012 at 1:50 AM UTC
Oh daffodil, you are not what I had hoped for
but you are alright now. Do not weep,
and please, do not wilt on me,
this fertilizer is a necessary evil, to devour
your bad things
in a basin, or howling at the moon –
dogs you left empty-bowelled,
sunken as a level cloth in the rain, still fat
but darker than smoke haze at dusk
not better of what mothers feed the precious
stuck, and stinking sons. I love men, I do,
just not the boys I have been handed
in their snotty noses, copepod backpacks &
bandanas for the laboratory. Promise, though
to make chloroform for your head
as if the sun could slap your eardrums,
what wonder would it be! A yellow plague,
bit the toenails of your baby’s feet,
said to injure petals among tall, lusting slopes,
hope you will die as a blonde woman,
and dye, daffodil, goodbye.
Nov 3, 2012
Nov 3, 2012 at 7:27 PM UTC
I was in love
with Denise,
(She sat behind me in the third grade and
moved away in the first few weeks of the fourth),
but it was Tasha,
(who sat next to me and was the
best friend of Denise),
that I would fantasize about.
I would wait in some bush
for her to pass by and then
leap out
wearing a black ski mask and
armed with a rag drenched in chloroform.
The part of the fantasy that would
constantly change was
the way I would drag her back to my trailer.
Sometimes
I would have a Tasha-size duffle bag and
other times
I just dragged her by her feet
or grabbed her by her arm pits.
I often thought it would be smart
to bring my little red wagon.
except that I didn’t have one
In my fantasy it was always late morning
because that’s when my mom wasn’t home.
Once I had Tasha naked in my room
I would tie her hands with a rope secured
to the ceiling
I would pinch and poke and rub Tasha’s body
everywhere.
And stare
She would be blindfolded but
I would leave my ski-mask on
just to be safe,
in case Tasha’s blindfold fell off,
you know?
it’s hard to find chloroform when you’re
only eight.
Anyway,
she would squirm and writhe and
wiggle
but soon she would change a little
and she would start to moan
she would gasp
and eventually
she would beg for more.
And then more Chloroform
I would drag her back
so that when she woke up
she would maybe think it was
just some fantasy SHE had.
But Denise,
when I dreamed of her
we just rode bikes and stuff.
I was in love with her.
Dec 26, 2012
Dec 26, 2012 at 2:27 PM UTC
Banality reins supreme
In our children’s dreams.
What do you expect
When principles defect
And brand names
Mark the scene,
When rock stars sell their souls
To executives in suits,
Make perfumes
From their dance room sweat
And wear expensive boots,
Then slap their name
On random ****
And sell how nice and cute
Their clothes look on baby girls
They know we can’t refute.
As if they write their music,
Or pen their awful hits,
******* souls for millions;
Tear integrity to bits.
When art is lost for money,
And the formula is the norm,
When thousands gyrate madly
To aural chloroform,
When children posture wildly
In photos with no shame
And send them to their idols
Who don’t care to carry blame,
When all we know is taken,
Corrupted and perverse,
And all our keen philanthropy
Is squeezed into a hearse,
When there’s nothing left
But adverts on our doors,
And mindless dancing robots
Falling to the floor,
Then we might just notice
How much we had to lose
When we turned our children loose
To tie up their own noose.
No matter how steep the cost,
There’s always room to climb
As soul-less music moguls
Wrangle for a dime.
Apr 1, 2015
Apr 1, 2015 at 2:51 PM UTC
~
*I work in the clouds
Building a world out of hype
I could be a beekeeper
A prison guard
Reverse pop idol
Extinguishers, all
Hackers ferry contemporaries
Around the diseased city
Merchants of transference
Polymorphing
Paths and angles
Pieces of eight
They could be brutal war fantasies
White noise translations of the snow
Cathedral nights in the deli
Ghost recordings from an opera house
Each with its own price tag
All the pretty girls
Thick with mascara
Go to plasticity
Drink chloroform
100 aspects of subterranea
So long as they come home
With a credit problem
Money devotion
It's what transferred us
Into numbered silhouettes
Slavishly pouring our blood into the sea*
~
Aug 24, 2022
Aug 24, 2022 at 5:12 PM UTC
Dizzied by a porch swing's varnish Chloroform,
I shared a silver hook with a knotted rope
snake for stability. Although my finger
constricted the viper against the cold metal,
it did not hiss or spit psychedelic venom.
I braced my bare foot against the truck's
wheel cover around a twisted corner
by an empty church, tolling
my heartbeat. Cardboard acted
as the bed liner, I played the liability
if the swing should slide past the flush tailgate
and take me along with it. If it did,
shifting gravel guitar solos and cherry pie blood
would swing my pain away.
May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 11:33 PM UTC
Dreaming has never felt like such a horror.
I wake up in the morning,
kiss my lonely cigarette.
peach fuzz is desperation for such ripe fruit
it is only sin that will lead into temptation
holding back my grudges
puffing on the words that seem to escape
as though i cannot be free of a feeling
non-exsitent
the tones, the strings
pitiful my voice
careless her actions
is there no thought to my grievances?
my well-being cursed, relinquished sanity
nothing feels real
as the breath of a soul.
Sep 10, 2013
Sep 10, 2013 at 6:16 AM UTC
What is this hold upon me?
It constricts and stifles every thought that appears,
with a chloroform rag drenched in discontent
Mild perfectionism, if such a thing, and procrastination leave me
frequently wondering where the time went
The questions I ask myself repeatedly
never receive answers with credibility
A rhythm with no rhyme; a melody in offset time
A misty meaning behind glossy eyes
that I’ve tied together with endless lines
of verbose attempts to explain my mind
No feeling is palpable, no imagery fabricated
Only an idea of what could be,
of what I cannot grasp,
and what I cannot convey
So I’m left with this clouded mind
jostled by ambivalence
(this word ceases to elude me)
on a maladjusted playground,
teetering and tottering on the fine edge
of sanity in this bleak reality
Mar 9, 2012
Mar 9, 2012 at 12:17 PM UTC
Lulu pulls me down the
Sidewalks, keeping me
Dangling a leash length away
She's in training for the
Iditarod and she's
Breathing hard with her valentine tongue
Lolling about
Across the street she
Spots a squirrel and
Climbing the tree after it
She bends the trunk
Arched like a trebuchet
"Should I?" she
Asks me with her chloroform
Eyes "sure, " I say
"Why not give the neighborhood
A new sport,"
Lulu's snowshoes flex and
Let go and
Before we know it
The whole district is
Placing bets on how far the
Coconuts will coast
Before falling back to earth
In flames like
Vacation-scented rockets
Jul 22, 2013
Jul 22, 2013 at 10:09 PM UTC
With Sweet words that capture my essence
I'll believe in you within your presence
clouds fill the depths of my mind
Best regaurds to the fact that im now blind
But I don't care, not right now
Surely I'll be regretful tomorrow?
Just hold me till it's too late if you're willing
Say the tings that make me smile
Even if its for a short while
Make me forget that this was a mistake
Let me think that its me that you want
Just me
Forgive me, i'm in to deep
Though i've tried treading in shallow waters
You've sadly almost caught me, was it easy?
I struggle to get loose
Your grip intoxicating
Breath like chloroform
Those soft touches burn, please don't stop
my insides crawl with amusement and fear captivates my soul
Though I know nothing good lasts an eternity
I cling to this moment ; never letting it fade
Forever burned into the side of my brain
When you kissed me with velevet
Jun 20, 2013
Jun 20, 2013 at 1:11 PM UTC
A drop-dead gorgeous young lady,
With the eyes of an angel she looks,
Her gaze met mine in dark of day,
My thoughts are just like clay,
Getting molded as whatever she may say,
I feel my senses waning off,
For she is My Chloroform.
Feb 23, 2017
Feb 23, 2017 at 12:02 AM UTC
projection of disemboweled guts oozing blood
dripping entrails onto starched white linens
hung in pristine precision, poisoned into submission
my demonic parole officer has come out to play
from the dungeon of hell's seventh circle
i swallowed a hive of maggots with my lunch today
forked serpent tongue slurping slime and slugs
unholy satisfaction from magicking fantasy into
ghoulish, gory realities and ******* tears from deserted lungs
the lion's dinner watches his stomach being eaten
dull but forceful rock formations cracking and crunching
disembodied hallucinations, presupposing predilection
i am the grim reaper's prom date, predisposition
gussied up in cobweb tulle and glittering larvae
with a chloroform corsage, what generous perfume
the skeletal dance floor creaks under my spinning,
groaning of lives sped through on tranquilizers
dancing a tango with Death, i smirk in dizzy abandon
the band is beating their bones to chalky pulp
music made from desperate self-destruction
projectile ***** onto my pedestaled ideas
chunks of last week's insights stink the room
the bile which processed them to rejection
is sticking dripping off the untethered chandelier
i watch them both fall towards me
first, in slow-motion glimmering
and then,
all at once,
i am below them
and we are below the skeleton floor
in the cellar of the scorpion's dungeon
that i escaped from this eery morn
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 9:26 AM UTC
Behold me waiting--waiting for the knife.
A little while, and at a leap I storm
The thick, sweet mystery of chloroform,
The drunken dark, the little death-in-life.
The gods are good to me: I have no wife,
No innocent child, to think of as I near
The fateful minute; nothing all-too dear
Unmans me for my bout of passive strife.
Yet am I tremulous and a trifle sick,
And, face to face with chance, I shrink a little:
My hopes are strong, my will is something weak.
Here comes the basket? Thank you. I am ready.
But, gentlemen my porters, life is brittle:
You carry Caesar and his fortunes--steady!
1.2k
They hang limply from the walls as
Old friend DECAY settles
Suburbia Mexicana neons and
Obscene jabs in raspberry
Demonizing the scalp of an 18th cake
The lipstick is not dark enough to
Carry a meaning here
No scent lingers as the calendar turns
Another year burnt to death as
We move further away from coincidence
And desperately memorize the lines of a
Modern work, every brushstroke an intellectual
Marvel so if we stare enough it will enfold on
Itself to glass
Guten morgen, Herr Schicksal!
Would you be so kind as to
Dissolve the peppermint stench
And leave the shower on?
I may see a reflection through the
Steam and like it more than yours
I never much liked chloroform or
Frosted roses
Settle on with
Delusions of Poland
And lazy eye tangos
With naked melodies re-vamped
By a 21st century greaser
Please don’t leave
Hail to Canon, brute of mine!
Jun 10, 2014
Jun 10, 2014 at 2:43 PM UTC
So pick me up some cherry pie
some chloroform and cyanide
because, because
life is hard and then we die
without a rhyme or reason why
because, because
I've been sleeping in the bathtub
one toe before the dream door
I've been sleeping in the bathtub
there are no walls, there is no floor
I'll call you my dandelion
my sweet perfume
my great desire
because, because
life is short and love is wild
a passing truth, the raging fire
because, because
I've been sleeping in the bathtub
one toe before the dream door
I've been sleeping in the bathtub
there are no walls, there is no floor
Don't know who or where or when
but I'm gonna fall in sweet love again
because, because
bottom dollar, rich or poor
if you sneeze I'll bless your soul
because, because
I've been sleeping in the bathtub
one toe before the dream door
I've been sleeping in the bathtub
there are no walls, there is no floor
Aug 4, 2018
Aug 4, 2018 at 12:36 PM UTC
Two. Two things that I keep forgetting, they are robbed
Out of my bank vault.
It is full of chlorine, my body reeks of it,
Taste the beautiful chemicals that are my mind.
My history.
The organization is horrible, no constellations made in my skies because
The sun is always out, masking stars and burning holes in my sockets.
I need to fix this.
Pull the beaded string dangling in this dismal room, cement walls crumbling as I dig myself
Out of this well, bricks are chucked down by laughing children.
They don't know that my ghost resides here.
I live in this dark room, where the sun never shines through the heavy velvet curtains.
Paper butterflies catching the heat from candles, singed at the edges, blue turning black,
Bruises deep, ****** knuckles wiped on your dress. Silk ruined, intimate apparel
Discarded by blood. Burn the evidence, escape the nightmare and awaken from this
Sea of chloroform.
You've been sleeping all of these years; the war, you know which one, is still being
Fought, redcoats stained with more.
That was long ago. Just sit and listen to the lecture of stories that we will never
Need to know, take notes in a screen that the pencil will scratch.
Scratches tangle, knot in my hair, so I cut it off.
Collections on the floor. Sweep the water out of the room because the flood has passed.
The house is not worth saving now.
Demolish it, destroy the silence that resonates with shadow.
Bring as one the silly waves that crash on your shores.
Correct what was always wrong.
Nov 6, 2013
Nov 6, 2013 at 2:02 PM UTC
Calico drones line fences and gates
resurrected from old motherboards.
Iron and silicone in contrast with
the decrypted analog sound bites
made from mothers tears.
The lucky village idiots
smoke chloroform cigarettes.
And they all miss the carnage.
The unlucky idiots smoked anything
they could get their grubby lips on.
To be wakeful in the womb of schism
seems far more terrifying than parachuting.
But jump away little one,
for fear will make you mad
or it will make you stronger.
Feb 25, 2014
Feb 25, 2014 at 4:11 PM UTC
With ease, with grace you slithered
into my air.
You breathed your chloroform,
noxious and stale
through the uneasy silence of this tiresome song.
The very word of your presence
chill and forgotten.
Quomodo Ego diligo vos.
The sheets are so cold,
I reach to feel you there.
Books and papers,
a cigarette case,
some silly stuffed **** thing,
left over one night.
Pulling pieces from a mason jar,
words and phrases.
The missive unclear.
Stashed away, here it can harm no one.
The letters familiar in hand.
Irgendwie Ich Liebe Sie , einmal nun jetzt
Oh that elegant flow.
The loops of a madman,
crazed and alone.
You taught him so many heartbeats.
Your long prattling song.
The painting rests by the end.
Short fevered work,
on one of the seldom afternoons alone.
I recall white walls,
toast with strawberry jam.
Loud, obnoxious music.
Brushes in water sticking out of an old can.
Who but I would remember?
Quomodo Ego diligo vos.
Now, perhaps more than ever.
Irgendwie Ich Liebe Sie , einmal nun jetzt
I feel you, wrapped in my skin.
A guest in my most earthly of homes.
Do you know how you intrude?
Even now, as the din has died down,
The curtains have closed.
A pen and the car keys,
insignificant things with no night table on which to rest.
Here, next to me have found a home.
Once there was you,
vile and lovely
warm on that side,
now abandoned.
Forgotten and cold.
Aborted as always.
Irgendwie Ich Liebe Sie , einmal nun jetzt
Jan 29, 2010
Jan 29, 2010 at 6:30 PM UTC
My phantom came to me, a situation so unforeseen.
This dark romance is putting me under some type of trance.
His voice so deep like a thunderstorm. I'll happily breathe him in like he is chloroform.
His eyes so dark like the ocean sea, never do I want to wake up from this fantasy.
He is now everything to me, this spell I never want to break free.
This mysterious phantom, I will do anything for him.
He is craving his way into my heart, mind, body, and soul. He has taken complete utter control.
My love, my obsession, my life, my addiction.
My Phantom.
Apr 8, 2025
Apr 8, 2025 at 1:15 AM UTC