Dear Brianna Evelyn Heins,

Stop Spanx sitting me, I’m old enough to take shape of my own.

Sincerely,
You’re Hips

P.S.

Stop convincing the lips to call me flab-u-lous!
I have my own name.
Stop knocking the knuckles to bone
To hear that hollow hound sound, now don’t use me in your measurement references, I want to live a day
Without spinning round the bouncy bands of your operation game
I’ve seen tweezers fall out of your eyes, to plummet under my moon shone complexion
Please keep in mind the brain is a liar.
And well, I have no twins; your pessimistic ways don’t acknowledge my individuality
The color of shame is not moving, while your red majestic
beast hair torturously tickles my clear space of face.

Brianna,
The brain is a liar!
I know you are told you’re observant;
The deception is grand
Stop pretending you know me
Let me dance dizzy
with the calves
Like coming out of the closet
I’m showing you I’ll never be straight
but brains whisper “weep, weep, weepweepweep”
at the sight of the salt soaked, taffy stretched skin
the brain sends me signals, but I beg for the heart to seep in

Please listen up
rarely do I talk,
for you think words are merely a sound
but the profoundness hasn’t shaken
I know you must feel my urges like
I’m on tonight and my hips don’t lie
beauty may lay in the fragile way I sway
said I’m below
But to hell with you
because this bridge can be crossed
but embers fly in you eyes
and the brain is a liar
a family member I wholeheartedly despise.

ೋღ❤ღೋೋღ❤ღೋ

Walking down a wooded path
tall flowing trees all around,
I came upon the river’s edge
and sat down on the ground.

Sitting at the edge of the river
I stare at its ongoing flow,
I start to give it all my pain
a release with each little throw.

My hardest pain is fear
that I’ve had from so long ago,
of never feeling good enough
that’s dulled my inner glow.

It eats at me like a cancer
each and every day,
the fear of never being good enough
and again being thrown away.

Years of disappointment and abuse
only being property, nothing to love,
but always trying to make things right
so everyone else could rise above.

I throw this fear out into the river
sit back and watch it pass slowly by,
I wrap my arms around myself
feel the release, let myself cry.

I throw out all the other pains
betrayal, heartache, loneliness and more,
I watch them drift gently way
these last tears will be left on this river shore.

Noticing as each and every pain
slowly floats down the river away,
I observe at a distance
as they fade into the suns sparkling rays.

Walking down a wooded path
tall flowing trees all around,
I came upon the river’s edge
and was surprised at what I found.

And ever onward shall we strive
and from the circle peace derive.
The sea in robes of mossy green
and blues the eye has never seen...
In grays that mock the stormy sky
and depths that hold the tears gone by....

A sweet release we give our heart
from pain of past that tore apart,
relief that only one can find
when hearts we let, become unconfined,
to leave behind those stormy skies
letting self-love baptize…

A tide of tears resides within
and waits to overflow.
i greet with a smiling face
so others will not know.

How feeble is this masquerade.
Transparent are the games.
Emotions should be given room
without the chides and blames.

The time will come to open up
and let the dam release...
my will, the pressure stop.
my soul will be at peace.

Weep when grief prescribes.
Laugh for humor's sake.
Love with everything you have
and forgive, all your mistakes.

ೋღ❤ღೋೋღ❤ღೋ

Again the moonlights company
4 am. She's somewhere.
About the skies glow
Stars flicker eyes turn
Search seek
A lone northern light
A light show
I gaze up to search for
And she's there I turn. My
Sight looks beyond now
Beyond my dim sight
Farther than I can reach
And I hope.
I remember
I close my eyes
And see.
But
For tonight
Her memory
And the moon
Light glow northerly
And a star's
Twinkle
And all my might
Are all I can see.
She is everywhere
But here...

She walked this night
in a snow covered field
as the snow blew all around
dancing diamond’s, iridescent light
with a kiss, the magic was sealed.

To the sky she points, lights appear
stunning colors, fill the dark of night
a graceful dance, only he will see
the beauty of the northern lights.

To him, she sends, her heart, her soul
through lights that dance among the stars
pushing back a looming shadow
she takes comfort in their beautiful memoirs.

Closing her eyes, she sees his face
his eyes, his heart, her beaconing light
pushing back that looming shadow
bringing comfort to her fright.

So she walks this night
in a snow covered field
as the snow blows all around
dancing diamond’s, iridescent light
with a kiss, the magic was sealed.
~

✿ڿڰڿ♥♥ڿڰڿ✿✿ڿڰڿ♥♥ڿڰڿ✿

In wonder of the world
of her mysteries
sitting here dreaming alone
I wandered over a hill one day
seeking expecting
nothing
and she appeared
like a vision
shimmering perfection
mysterious
mirage

I had been admiring
for years
the beauty of his heart
I had watched
from a distance
never letting myself
become apart,
  there were times
   he would approach
     the top of the hill
      always stopping
        and turning back
       my pounding heart
     would then painfully still.
    I sent him dreams
  of a sweet first kiss
sprinkled visions
of starlit bliss
then one day
by the touch of grace
I looked up to find us
standing face to face.

I saw her in dreams before here
she was standing growing
over the hill the whole time

always she had been there

I had just not gone forward enough

I stood in awe

and she like a tulip
shivered

dreams, now reality
love floods this heart of mine

I stand in awe
of beauty, so magnificently divine

the essence of love whispered
and I, like a tulip
    blissfully
        shivered…

✿ڿڰڿ♥♥ڿڰڿ✿✿ڿڰڿ♥♥ڿڰڿ✿

A white horse
body armor
a fire-breathing dragon
a sword
a Knight
a Warrior
a Prince
a Lover….He is…

A lady
in waiting
her love my destiny
her desire
my need

That connection of the heart, of the soul…
of each breath…. just breathe, deep feelings,
trust of the heart, the essence of each soul touching,
blending, combining, linking, joining, connecting,
entwining, merging together, deep feelings….Love…
a Knight, a Warrior, a Prince, a Lover…. He is….

she is the faith I have lived
each day hoping
she is the horizon
come closer be real
and it is her
which essence takes
as truth and honesty

Dreams, serenity, peacefulness, that calm feeling of
tranquility, that connection of the heart, of the soul…
hope and faith, trust and love, those deep feelings,
stardust sparkles and moonbeam glimmers, fireflies,
soft kisses, gentle embrace’s, finger traces….Love…
a Knight, a Warrior, a Prince, a Lover…. He is….

depths of hearts are lethal
and mine has been broken died
now in her eyes
words of future
peace
arise
take wing
on Angels
make beauty
real
and on that
glimpse I breathe



That connection of the heart, of the soul…
a quaint riverbed, big oak trees, leaves singing
a gentle breeze, the moon, stars the sun, hearts embrace,
souls collide touching deep inside, mornin giggles,
toast and jam, moon pies, warmth and hot coffee….
forehead kisses, lips brushing the shoulder and…Love…

That word she knew that
promise that thought
the knowing
the sublime connection
I saw her there
giggling sweet
coffee and normal things
my dream

A white horse
body armor
a fire breathing dragon
a sword
a Knight
a Warrior
a Prince
a Lover…My Heart…He is…
~

**A lady
in waiting
her love my destiny
her desire
my need

Marissa Ann was a firecracker of a little girl.
For her, there was no fence too tall to climb, no bully too mean to face, no street too busy to cross.
She was all tangled hair and toothy grins.
And she'd yank the book right out of my hands and say, "Gabrielle, we have more important things to do than read."

In the jungle of our lives, Marissa was a lioness, queen of the pride.
I was a mouse not indigenous to these parts of the second grade.
The world was a terrifying place, and I had no problem cowering in the corner, knee-deep in a pile of Nancy Drew.
I tried to stay huddled behind my words, drowning in the ink, attempting to let the pages be my armor.
Marissa would not let me.
When I allowed bookshelves to be my shields, she came guns blazing, and kicked them all down, then stood me back up on my feet.
She'd grab my hand and pull me head first toward adventure.

Marissa was tough, and everyone knew it.
There was not a soul alive brave enough to pick on Marissa Ann.
But me? I was an easy target.
The other girls said I was "weird" with my enormous wire frames resting atop full cheeks, and my frayed jeans, a glowing reminder of my mother's lack of wealth.
I heard the whispers on the playground about the chubby girl who read, (can you believe it?), chapter books.

Brianna was a demon of a child.
She'd bat her pretty little eyelashes and everyone would melt.
She had the entire second grade class wrapped around her tiny little finger.
She'd corner me on the soccer field and do everything she could to remind me that I was different.
But one day at recess, she was nowhere to be found, until I made my way through winding halls, back to the warmth of our classroom.

There sat Marissa with a devilish glint in her eye, waving me over to sit in the desk beside her.
Behind us, a sniffling Brianna, looking forlornly at the teardrop stains on her pink lace skirt, her mouth pulled tight into a perfect straight line.
I looked back at Marissa with a curious glance, then intertwined her hand with my own.
The sound of stifled sobs behind us and the warmth of her skin on mine sealing an unspoken vow between two girls with puzzle piece fingertips that only fit each other.

ღ♥´¯'°¤ღ ღ¤°´¯'♥ღ

My last first kiss
shall be
remembered
taken in with every touch
into my very last nerve
every fiber of my being
make me whole my
soul find heaven
my life have meaning.

My last first Kiss
shall be
instilled
in my heart forever
eyes meeting eyes
as anticipation peaks
hearts pounding fast
even skipping beats.
I will take it all in
blissful love on the rise
gentleness in the moment
as emotions intensify.

That last first kiss
I shall savor taste
I shall be united for once
when I taste her lips
meant for only
me to find
from the beginning.

That last first kiss
will be
heaven on earth
as our
passion flows free
and our souls
lock together
just him and me.
Melding into one another
as our lips meet
time and space
will still….
repeat… repeat…repeat…

Just her
And
Paradise

A magical moment
with him
so beautifully divine
our last first kiss
will drip
forever
of honeyed
sweet wine.

  ღ♥´¯'°¤ღ ღ¤°´¯'♥ღ

✿ڿڰڿ♥♥ڿڰڿ✿✿ڿڰڿ♥♥ڿڰڿ✿

where the most importance resides on
the meadow
rise
in apparent
glaring
I saw
her eyes.

from the first moment I met him
I knew we sang the same song,
I watched from a distance
with loving eyes
staying his friend
all along

took several decades and wrong turns where
until I found that there
her being life
an angel you might call
her, yet flesh and blood,
and heart
and soul  so much
in tune with my
song.

I loved him    from afar
his caring heart, his loving soul
I kept a distance but, stayed near
giving love, encouragement, and hope
when I could sense his fear.

my lungs called her name for many years
sang out searching for her eyes
and did not know she had been
answering
all the time
along
in
away
I refused to hear.

I always heard his song
I sang back
never loud enough to be heard
and in my heart I would long.
I’d step back many times
but  
his song
would always draw me near,
I knew then that I would sing
until the combined melodies
he would hear.
Then one night melodies sang
calling song
answering
calling song….

And now,
like newness and hope and heaven
we sing together!

                      ✿ڿڰڿ♥♥ڿڰڿ✿

The Fairy Tale of the Warrior Prince

Once upon a time, long, long ago, far, far away there lived a Warrior Prince at the edge of the Magic Forest. The Warrior Prince once rescued the fair maiden Shelby and the fair lady Di, Shelby’s grams, from the Evil Mystical Wizard who lived on the far side of the magic forest. After settling the fair maiden and the fair lady into his castle where they would remain safe until his return, he set out to do his one and only job; guard and protect the magic forest.
He liked guarding the forest during the day because it was quiet and peaceful. But in the dark night, the great magic came to life and even his trusty horse became on edge. The bushes and trees took on eerie shapes that seemed to move. The night noises were loud and frightening. It was not like the beautiful forest noises of the day. At night the trees became witches and the bushes became trolls and animals. They would claw and scratch at his legs as he rode his horse through the forest.
It was at night when the largest magical creature appeared. It wanted to take over the magic forest. That creature’s whole purpose was to steal all the magic from the Magic Forest. The creature had been made that way by the Evil Mystical Wizard who wanted all the magic in the land for himself. That is why he kidnapped the fair maiden Shelby and the fair lady Di in the first place. He knew of their magical powers. The fair lady Di had the magic of touch. She could feel if she knew a person from another time and if they were good or evil by the touch of their hand or by looking into their eyes. She could see if love had ever found a home in their heart. The fair maiden Shelby had the greatest magic of all; the magic of sight. She could see into a person, see their life and what was to come. These magical powers coupled with the powers of the forest would make the Evil Mystical Wizard unstoppable.
The warrior prince had no magical powers of his own but was highly respected by the magical world because of his willingness and ability to protect them. He thought of them as family and would fight to the death for them. The love in his heart was a pure light of goodness. He knew if the Evil Mystical Wizard took over all the good magic in the world, everyone he loved would suffer greatly to the end of days. He pledged to fight for them to the end because of his love for them. It was his greatest power.
One night as he rode his beautiful horse through the magical forest, he heard the fair lady Di cry out in grief. Riding toward the sounds of her cries, his heart sank with the visions that flooded his mind. The fair lady Di had been restless and not able to sleep so, as many nights like this before, she went for a walk in the magic forest. The forest had always been a place of calm for her. It was a place where the hurts of the world would quiet and fade away. She could feel the love of the magical world around her. She could still the fears in her heart.
On this night as she walked along the forest floor she came upon a beautiful unicorn. It was waiting to bless her with his own magic of love. As they stood and stared at each other, she could feel the magic of his love flow into her heart and settle deep into her soul. She knew he was giving her his magic of love but didn’t understand why. When the transfer ended, she stood in awe as he bowed his head and told her, “You are the keeper of love. You always have been and always will be. My time is ending and my magic needs to live on. It will live in you and you will do great things with it.” Fair lady Di started to ask, “Why me?”… when the wind started to blow.
The clouds moved across the moon and lightning struck a tree somewhere deep in the forest. Just as the moon peaked around a cloud the thunder crashed and the creature was standing in front of them. The fair maiden Shelby was in her bed and could only sit up in fear as she watched the sight play out before her eyes. She saw the creature inch closer to her grams saying the words “Love must die.”
The fair maiden Shelby could only do one thing. She sent her sight to the magic of the forest hoping the forest would see that if love died, the world died too. As she watched, she saw two small magical creatures of the forest pull her grams back and away from the fight that played out before her. The creature moved forward and the fair lady Di thought her night would end. She closed her eyes and felt the wind blow through her. She let go ready to float away to a world without pain. As the crashing noises grew louder and the wind blew harder, she felt unknown hands pull her to safety.
The fair lady Di opened her eyes and watched as the unicorn fought with everything he had to save her from the terrible creature of magic who only sought to end love, to end her. The fight was long and hard but in the end, the beautiful unicorn stood no chance against the powers and strength of the terrible creature of magic. As the unicorn fell to the ground and his breathing slowed, the fair lady Di ran to him. All the creatures of the forest tried to stop her but she pushed them away. She had so much love for him and needed him to only feel love as he floated away to that world where there was no pain.
As she reached him she laid her body across his and poured out every ounce of love. Through her grief and pain, she gave love as his last breath left him. She cried. The wind blew, lightning flashed across the sky and the thunder crashed high in the heavens. Just then, the Warrior Prince came through the forest walls into the small opening of the forest center. He pulled his horse to a sudden stop at the sight in front of him. His blood began to boil. There was the Magic Dragon with a cruel evil grin on his face. He stood over the fair lady Di with her face buried in the mane of the lifeless unicorn. She was crying and pouring all the love she could into him.
The fair maiden Shelby watched with her inner sight and knew what she must do to save them all. She emptied her sight to the whole magical world and focused it into the center of the Warrior Prince. She showed him all the good he had ever done for the ones he called family and those he loved so dearly. Through the magical world he touched in so many ways, she showed him their respect for him, their gratitude for all that he had done for them and their unconditional love for him. Through her sight, he found the strength to fight the greatest fight of his life: The fight against the Magic Dragon who was there to destroy them all.
The Warrior Prince wasted no time as he pulled out his sword of courage and truth. He fought long and hard but, even close to death himself, he would not give up. With each swing of his sword the evil he so feared died a little more. Swing after swing until he pierced the heart of the great beast. Upon the death of the beast, the magic of the world returned the magic of the fair maiden Shelby to her. The magical world knew only one willing to give up her powers to save those she loved could be trusted with such power.
Very battered and bleeding, The Warrior Prince walked over to the fair lady Di, held her close and let her pour her grief and pain into his heart and soul. When she calmed, he lifted her onto his horse and brought her back to the castle where the fair maiden Shelby waited for their return.
When the Warrior Prince slayed the Magic Dragon and ended the magic that had been instilled within him, it also weakened the Evil Mystical Wizard. For the wizard had given all his power into the dragon and was confident the dragon would succeed in taking over all magic in the world. By the Warrior Prince destroying the dragon, it also ended all and any magic the Evil Mystical Wizard had or ever would have again. The Magic Forest, The Magic of The World, The Magic of The Fair Maiden Shelby and The Magic of The Fair Lady Di was finally safe. The Warrior Prince, he also learned he had a little magic of his own and had only needed to look inside himself to find it.

Writing Copyright © All Rights Reserved
2017 Brianna Love/SA/DBMA

Anyone who knew her last name knew the fire she set in the heart of the expresser. I called her Bri, girl wonder, the original poetic queen by her own words. She called me her poetic god when I was first getting off of my feet in expressive poetry.
I took it slow, like a freeze-frame of which I’m not too proud of. If I may, I’d like to sort of explain what was happening in my position.  A beautiful day, cirrus clouds, December Alabamian weather. I was leaving, never to return or try my hand at our love again and all I wanted to do was show love to the one who’d declared she would desire it from me.
Insane.
Insane for thinking that a request of which as simple as it is can rearrange the very fabric of time would be accepted into the universe and granted to me as a blessing and a step forward in lively progress. My last wish was a simple kiss.
But it wasn’t meant to be.
Why? Why something so harmless as a that would put so many barriers before itself in an effort to avoid it is beyond me, but what I do know is that it haunts me to know that I missed my opportunity and let out an emotion of neglection, and I hope she didn’t create a feel of aggravated rejection In her heart, for that wasn’t my intention.
She, my dancing queen, right? Shier than the sun at two A.M, too self-conscious about the smallest detail yet still flawless, true poet by accident yet a poet all the same.
This woman’s worth, like Maxwell. The worst like Jhene Aiko. But my ribbon in the sky like Stevie Wonder, basically a symphony of emotion that I played a part in. I, a master of ceremonies in her play of life as she expressed herself and wrapped me in layer upon layer of unknowing intimacy.
Why? Why do I always fall for your type?
Why did I fall for you?
I can’t explain without uprising the controversy in my heart, the controversy growing in my soul,
Love.
What I believe we were trying to achieve before the divide, the main reason I sit on the couch listening to love songs and counting my losses as they compare to my blessings and curse the time that brings turns in events, buildings to the ground, men to their knees in submission to the will of it.
Love
What I would’ve said if I’d had time to show more of it. You are the ocean to my sea creature, the grasslands to my herbivore, the nature to my nature, a perfect fit through connection.
Thick lips, wide hips, dark chocolate skin with a clueless soul, I was the gateway in progress, the channel for the guided ship. You made me find myself better, closer, more accurately, and I will never forget you for it.
Not everyone is meant to keep in contact, but our souls are entwined within a universe all their own, a dance floor to you, a laptop and forum for me, completely customizable, and a warm embrace where our worlds collide and create the aftermath, the afterlife, of which all shall witness the greatness of such a creation.
The abdication of a king, the separation of a natural pair, the things that we must live through, so if you remember me, When you remember me, think of the possibilities, the unknown realm that we never explored.
Brianna
The heat of the fire I kindled in my heart, the girl who left the mark of possibility and opened my mind.
My first queen, my billionth girlfriend, but first pending love. I gave her her credits and accolades once more.

✿

a bit of

in her hair I figured
all along the strands down to her bangs
I lingered along the lashes
became a vision
leaked down a cheek fell onto
her silky neck
became a molecule came into her
blood flowed down her heart
pumped me into her toes as they curled
traveled vascular
up her spine-tingling and came
smiling out the corner of her mouth
a wet spot
next to the corner of her smile
soft silky moist glistens
a mist on her breath
a bit of touch on the pillow
a dream on the next day's memory
a dream for forever

every touch a slow-moving pulse
sending shockwaves
through every point of touch
awaking every part of me
with his soft touch
his warm lips
our bodies move gracefully
insight
his brown eyes
lingering deep
touching the core of my soul
the warmth of his kisses
his fingers floating
like a paintbrush
leaving a burning trail
of ecstasy
and brilliant colored hues
each stroke caressing
each caress leaving
a beautiful new color of love
filling me with all of him
his heart
his soul
his being
all of his colors filling me
with his love

✿

the judges liked brianna, a tiny girl
from texas with the janis joplin rasp in
her  voice...the headstrong teen had
been on the road forever to get to the
"american idol" audition site in dallas.
the judges really liked her sunny girl-
next-door looks, her honey blonde
ponytail tied with a bright yellow
ribbon, her sweet, innocent smile,
and then she went on to wow them
with her soulful rendition of "me and
bobby magee." she thanked the judges
for giving her the green light to go on
to hollywood for the next big step in
the competition. she could not believe
her good fortune and told them
everything was truly possible and
how her family and jesus had brought
her to this magical moment.

...just seconds before she was called
into the audition room, she'd been
daydreaming about the fourteen-year-
old ****** boy she deflowered in a ford
focus the weekend before. it happened
in a mall parking lot just a mile from
her home. she was trying to remember
the boy's name: justin? jason? joshua?
something with a "j" and then - just like
that - someone was summoning her
into the judging area and she quickly
forgot about the boy. she had so many
things to contemplate now. stardom
was within her reach and, besides
that, what's in a name anyway?

I've seen dreams fail
or fly
I've seen her face fall
or smile
Every time I hear that song
or go anywhere
it's where we've been
I've been everywhere with her
or just here
you've been here
I can almost smell it
but that was months ago
I'm just so ******* tired
so *******
lonesome
I can't make music anymore
I can't play guitar
I won't touch a piano
the only thing I'm motivated to do
Is write these poems
because it's something new
I want to write these poems
for you
because writing songs
is your gift for others
and for yourself
I miss it so ******* much
so Brianna,
this is for you.
If you ever happen upon this
this is for all the times we
listened to Kanye in your car
smoked a cigarette; a life
smiled
jumped
driven
hoped
this is for hoping
you'll come back
just long enough for me to tell you
that I'm ******* sorry
and I will always be your friend
always
even if you don't want it
even if I don't see you for years
I've seen your face fall
or fly
and I've seen your fingers fly
over the keys
over the frets
around a cigarette
I miss it.

Dear Self , Sometimes I Wonder What It Would Really Be Like If I Really Took The Time To Love You .. If I Gave You A Chance Instead Of Ripping You Apart Piece By Piece Every Chance You Get .. I Allow So Much To Happen That I Probably Had Control Of .. I Beat You Up For The Hurt That You Had Nothing To Do With But Yet I Expect You To Be Happy Even When You Not .. You Can't Even Allow Anyone Into Your Live Without Living In Your Pass .. Sometimes I Wonder If Your Heart Is Filled With Hatred And Pain Because You Once Love The Unloved Or Is It Someone That Wasn't Good For You Because Your Scared To Trust And To Believe In Something That You Think Or Even Thought Was Real .. But I Just Can't Love When I Don't Know How My Heart Grew Ice Around It .. But I Can't Even Want Or Hope For Someone To Love Me Or Be In My Life When I Can't Even Love And Trust Myself .. Hmph Ain't That Twisted Up ? I Just Want The Unknown For Myself To Conquer What People Said I Wouldn't Conquer But I Have To Gave Myself The Respect That I Deserve Before I Ask Of That From Someone Else.. I Wonder What Life Would Be Like  ... I Blamed You For Not Letting The Pain Stop ...  But Really The Pain Stopped But You Can Still Feel The Pain Even When It's Over , Because Believe It Or Not You Overcame It .. Now Do Me This Favor Brianna ? Smile Look Into What Your Future Holds In The Palm Of Your Very Own Hands .. Hmph Not That Simple Huh See You Have To See It Or You Will Never See It, Meaning It Will Never Come To Pass But See I Believed In You Even When Others Didn't I Knew You Could Do When You Thought That You Couldn't Do . When Those People Left I Stayed Here But You Over Looked Me , "But Now That You Let You Shine Through You It Has Become Much Easier For Things To Happen For You Saids The Lord." Now Shine Brianna Like I Taught You To Shine .. Walk Like I Taught You To Walk Brianna .. Speak What I Told You To Speak Brianna .. Because That What Makes You Who I Told You To Be .. My Child ☺️

"Baby Brianna was five months old when she died...she had multiple broken bones. Over thirty bite marks. She was beat to death..." "Susannah Martinez (campaign ad)

Doe eyed ghosts
Y los ninos mi corazon
Mall haired mamacita with the lined lips
505 madonna meant nothing to you
Bust that cap while she sleeps
Represent
And leave the little ones behind
Curled up against her cooling breast
Black blood and coffee grounds under their nails
It took them weeks to starve to death
Abuelitas they lament
Light the candles in Torreon
Would you buckle under the weight of tiny bones
Small hands that clutch the sky
Sightless eyes
Fragments of a smile stopped by a single shot
Gangstas gunning the wrong house
Little girl lost in poppi's arms
would her whispered breath against your neck
bring one tear
Baby Bartholemew in his car seat
choking to death in his own blood
Head lolling back crying for mommy
One last time
The sound...the stench forever resonant
Cuz teddy bears cant stop a bullet can they
Wrong place
Wrong time
Hand the grieving parents a tissue
And straighten her hair
For the cameras
This indignation will rise
Bile in your throat
for the next 40 minutes
Until you return to the blur
Of your regularly scheduled lives
We're so casual with our offspring
But Brianna, Bartholomew
and the ghosts in Torreon
they haunt these tears I cry

"It took us three years, but we fought to make it a death sentence. Baby Brianna's picture still hangs in my office." Susannah Martinez (campaign ad)

I will not forget....

TL Boehm
December 2010

Shannon, Mariah, Serena, Maria
Meridia, Midian, Sharon, Alliah
Rochelle, Camille, Rose, Halo
Trenna, Jessica, Ashley, Georgia
Marla, Olivia, Sofia, India
Daniella, Diana, Christina, Caroline
Isabella, Amelia, Amanda, Matilda
Nadine, Haley, Bailey, Francine
Eliza, Annabelle, Kathryn, Sandra
Melinda, Audrey, Aubrey, Emily
Tara, Emma, Ginny, Kathleen
Josephine, Helena, Charlotte, Laura
Chelsea, Arkady, Megan, Kelsey
Kayla, Karliah, Moana, Vivien
Kaysea, Macy, Stacy, Lorraine
Theresa, Felicia, Cecilia, Darlene
Holly, Brianna, Alexa, Ariel
Marianne, Miranda, Jennie, Coral
Korra, Daisy, Penelope, Rayne
Zoey, Cassandra, Grace, Stephanie

here i am again
trying to write something down
that makes sense
when nothing seems to make sense
i can't quite remember when it used to

an old friend killed herself three nights ago
and i still can't think of much else
than the time she wrote me
asking me if she could use one of my simple songs
to help tell a story
or the time she started dating the man
who tried to date me
how silly life seems
right now
as i sit on a stranger's bed
writing out my failures
strung out before me

Brianna,
your voice haunts me
as you sing about heartbreak in a room with no walls
the space enveloped around you

i wish we had more time
i wish i could have told you more
more than anything, i wish i could have listened

to anything you wished to share
to everything you couldn't speak

i wish we had more time.

First girl I dated
Second Girl I loved
No need count the one before her
Brianna was so much more
and not much less
of what I expected
to fall in love
with

Brianna Love in Minnesota and I in Alabama wish to announce and share with all a new addition to our family.
So far one beautiful kitten has been born to babygirl, Brianna's cat, who for eight years lived in the wild. Last year when  temperatures reached 30 below zero babygirl decided to adopt Brianna and move inside. Today she is gifting us with beautiful babes!  Hope this link below shows off our newest pride and joy!

Oh yes, where to start….
          
                 A Kiss behind the ear
             trailing across the jaw
                  a light sweep of lips across lips
                       a catch of breath…

                               moving down….

Fingers tracing every move….
    soft wet kisses to the neck
           ….are you feeling the groove?

                 Slowly lips move from neck to chest
                             as they lovingly adore
              fingers lightly travel down
                                           eager to explore…

      Wet trailing kisses to the navel
               fingers circling around chest
      bringing forth trembling lightheaded sensations
                    lips against skin, pressed…..

                              Moving ever so slow….

                                        finger traces
                                           circling tongue
                                              lips adoring
                                                 wet embraces
                                             intensity flowing
                                          curling toes
                                        twitching muscles
                                      heart pounding
                                        breathless
     ­                                     out of body
                                            a second of clarity
                                              Sweet Release….
                  
                                   Good morning baby, shall we go on……..
~
© 2017 Brianna Love/SA/DBMA

"As a core, idealistic truth, love is all that matters. In practice, especially between fundamentally flawed and unfinished beings, it’s not. Sometimes our love isn’t greater than whatever is doled out beside it. It doesn’t always win out. Sometimes it shouldn’t.

When you first realize someone could be something to you, the days become hazy and fluid and the last thing on your mind is logistics. It seems cold to be calculating at the beginning, to compartmentalize a person and see if those parts match up to the whole you envisioned.

We’re so quick to glide over whatever instinctive inkling resonates every time we realize there’s a void greater than our love for someone can fill. We press on, seldom realizing that every relationship culminates in deciding whether or not those instincts are the ones to follow.

Love exists in multitudes. In shades and elements and dynamics. In pieces and in learning, in growth and in change. In strangers and in soul mates. It does not exist as a single, expendable truth or experience. We’re so quick to attach that idea to one person or one relationship. We don’t want to go through the motions of experiencing those levels of commitment, attraction, interrelation with anybody else. The risk of losing is too great, but withholding waives the possibility of ever finding it in the first place.

Some relationships are long, steady, and easy; some are quick and enlightening and challenging. Some brush along our surface and others dive beneath and uproot us. Some might be temporary, one might last “forever.” That doesn’t mean it has to be the only one there is. That doesn’t mean there’s not something to be experienced, to be taken, to be learned, from whatever came before.

You can’t make a relationship something more than what it inherently is. You can’t make yourself fit into something you inherently won’t.

The whole of human love is what’s enough, the parts are just precursors.

We are unfinished, every last one of us. We have to let go of wishing each chapter was the last one because we’re afraid of how it could end otherwise. We have to stop forcing people into being the end-all-be-all for the same reason. We have to paint in contrasts, in love and from loss, and we have to find eventually that the whole picture is filled, and we are filled, from what we take, find, lose, gain, learn, give and create with the multitudes of people who loved us, in the multitude of ways that happens.

You’ll realize you knew the answers to your questions all along, it was only a matter of having the courage to act on them. You’ll let go when you don’t realize you’re doing it. You will have to learn that loving someone doesn’t always mean that being with them is the answer. You’ll realize that love is enough, but the kind of love that makes you stay only partly comes from the person you stay with. The other part comes from you.

You’ll realize you don’t have to be out of love to say goodbye. You’ll learn to separate the two: the loving part of you and the logical part of you. You’ll learn to use them in tandem. You’ll learn that two such things can be used in tandem, though you were taught otherwise and it seems impossible. What you’ll find eventually is the only love worth having is the kind that’s there even when the rest is gone."
-Brianna Wiest

You will never understand the contribution you have made to my life,
You are the friend that really came through for me when I found myself in strife.

No-one else could see past the mistake I had made,
They chose to ignore how I felt and fixated on my darkest shade

I have always looked up to you, you have always inspired me
You've always been the one I've looked at when deciding who I'd like to be

Please don't throw your life away,
I really count on you
I know that being here for me is something you can do
I love you, I appreciate you.
- Brianna Carter

You look up to me,
Quite literally,
But in this case you mean metaphorically
Yet similarly,
I looked up to you,
Size doesn't matter just a point of view

You are a better person than I,
As pure and beautiful as the stars and the sky
In harmony, elements defy,
The birds and the planes that roar or sigh

No matter what happens, you always come though
Shrug it off, move on, it's just what you do,
This is why I wish I were like you

Yet despite all this you look up to me?
I am blind, can't really see clearly,
But even I can tell you are a rarity
A treasure, and thus better than me
-Conor Blatchford

You go to school
Like a regular day
But your friend, the price
She had to pay.

Your teacher comes in,
Her nose is red
She tells you, "Sweetheart,
Brianna is dead."

You don't understand this-
It seems too soon-
Brianna, you expected
Had many more moons.

Your feelings are tangled
Your heart sends out a cry.
Brianna is dead,
But her legacy will never die.

No time for having

withdrawals_
All friendship
click
Lets 
 Click-bank it

Gratitude
so thanks

Just mail it
My mind
chocolate
clustered
Wounded
like a
bullet_
Postcard
Like
E- Allen Poe
related

Polluted by
Naked Gun
My heart was
fully loaded

"My Psyche"

Glossinidae so
****** "Red"

Women Wartime
she knits

Wildflowers
in her bed
He was more
worried
about the
postcard

Split Banana
personality
Plain Monkey
***
Crazy on Sunday

Sundae's
on Fridays
Yes we have no
bananas
Postcards laid
T-L-C cared for
cabana

But Gina
Loco?
Crazy bridge
Lollobrigida
Postcards
Just
Like Lazy
Susans
Georgiana
Or Brianna
Bella Bella

Leaving notes
with few
good men
Nicholsons
Nicole with
her Kidman

Construction
hard paper
Snip here
Pulled into his
psyche
All cliche's
The fondue
French talk
face to face
Jack snapped
beanstalk

In front, words
fingered
Her words
of roue'
Catch up with
Ketchup
Pretty but Petty
petticoats
"Billy Goats"
Titanic ships
Beguiled
by
him

Cottage home
bacon bits
of
Salad postcards
from
Egypt
The holy land of
Mohammid
Dancing like an
Egyptian

Rumi
of all
Gods
in vain
Your so
vain I betcha
you think
the
postcards
about ya

"Psyche Monday"
Coming to grips
(Girl Friday)
versus
(Man Friday)
with his lips,

The Postcard
postpartum
depression
((What Moves))
on my hips
Strawberry
jam and
my biscuit
"His Girl Scout"
recruit
Being pursued
shortcake
So ironed
longed for

Postcards
floating
through
"Spa dream"

Highlighted*
Crazy in love
hallucinating
being flirtatious

Oneself
But she doubted
therefore
My psyche
wanted more
(Danger=Hunger)
after you
Darling
Civil war
Loves don't finally
meet someone
They are in each other
all the time-----

Double crossed-Star

Trying to pass the bar

Fair lady or the
distinguished
Gentleman

"Aircraft"
Postcards came with
ownership
Bombs stay funds

So Psyche
The future
Be smart
"Smartphone"
Like a rope and
silvered computer
links
The chain- chain gang

The train blue-skying
Crazy skywriting
A strange device
(UFO) now BOO
requiem in a dream
Royal lips
A plus postcard
Deeply within
The hundred's
of lovers tongue
Going once but twice,
The Postman stamps
psychic
"Auction house
My postcard
Peanuts and
Charmed by Charlie
Brown
The Tarot elephant
pants
Double talk Parrot
Superbowl
the postcard
intellectual

"Hallucination Beware"
Strong accusation to
compare

An app "Activation"
Star Wars  may the force
be with you one and
only card
British fine tea guards

The love red tip
matches
The new
postcard
the
new black
Mary Mack
Stamped and
smacked
Smashbox eyes
like crazy lunatic

(Dora Explorer)
New Orleans
Nasty stickers
Richness of bourbon
Sweet Caroline
Graphic art turban
8 sides
of the moon
Such
consequences?

My hair
ponytailed
You mailed
words short
Styled pixieish

Dots.....crazy points

Oh! Gosh
The
Hoarder
of
postcards
Crazy Gorilla
Mozilla
"Queen of Sheba"
I rather walk my
Shiba Inu doggy

Miss baby jane shoes
French connection my
La Femme
Oh La La
Haha
Funnybone
I refuse to be
loved like
a postcard
Self-assurance
love is frozen
and stamina
Postcards back
in the future

((Wonder all drama))
Psyche ward she got
hammered
Stacks of postcard
Her wrist got cut
Cold cuts
Irish Spring soap
VIP Postcards RIP
Replacing her hip
Her crazy lips kissed
the postcard
her bodyguard
Those maneaters
and deadly hitters
Mega babes babysitters
To be so loved and read

Postcards speak to us
listen
Glisten
Crazy Bitch__ is in
The innie or outy
Paper towels Minny
Mouse
She cleans up
her postcards
When the postman rings
twice

Pass it on

Has it troubled you
papercut you
Was this postcard
meeting
your  card
expectation

All you?

If you take my gun
You may as well take my rights
I have the right to bear arms
To protect my fortress
To defend my family
I will use everything
Machine guns
Shotguns
High-power rifles
Anything
So I can feel secure
Around bullets of death

3 people lie motionless
Blood seeping from shell wounds
In the middle of a crowded mall
12 people lay lifeless
Two years since their last death
In the middle of a movie theater
28 innocent souls lay empty
Most of whom couldn't understand
In the middle of a elementary school

What other people do with their weapons
Doesn't concern me
I will protect myself with my shotgun
My machine gun
My high-powered rifle
Maybe I'll teach my child how to shoot
So one day he can protect his family
With assault weapons

The victims of the crazed people
Those insignificant others
Are not dead by the shooters gun
But by the shooter's insanity
Those insignificant others
Were just poor, unlucky souls
Insignificant souls

When I get older
And not fit to live
I'm going to give my machine gun
My shotgun
To my son
So he can hold the fortress
And protect his family
From those insignificant others
Those poor, innocent souls
That will awake from the grave
That will trespass his property
That will look him in the eye
With the wounds from Sandy Hook
Aurora Movie Theater
Columbia Mall
Still viciously bleeding
And dare him to shoot again
To protect his cold-blooded ignorance

RIP Brianna Benlolo and Tyler Johnson

She
so- she
And He_ so
Never ending
She Comma
Do-So
Shop to Soho

Electronics
Like a Saint
Satanic's
His or hers
Nic's and Pix

Never the end
If so_
Yes Sir
The math flame
Password
To end the
dating game
Hot green
tip
pistachios
Like the long sentence,
Your
Nephews

He was
Huh? ,
So compelled
to be sentenced
The time
treacherous
Was so long
At that end is
where
you
belong
Column
his
comma
She comma

Prima Donna
Oh! Donna
A love
should
be in
the
moment
Too
many

Dots?plots/whatnots

You forgot
semicolumn
The head page
Semi-sweet
column
End chair
Kingdom
Knock on wood
Getting
splinters
He used
Plastic
condoms

Braveheart Lion
Twisted sisters
I was
at the
very end
Wella
She -Comma
The money
Higher up
Society Brianna
Barcelona Cafes
Giraffe ladies
boisterous
drama

Begin now
The beginning
Never met her
  middle-section
Which breed?
She-comma
She could
make
Anyone's
bad heart
Drug fix well
The good
heart
Should be ended
Dead end&
the
morgue

Her long tongue
All She_ Rouge
The question mark
All parts dots here and?
What is
next!!!
You hear
the ring you jump
Off the cliff
the text
Meet me
greet him
Chances
are
never
The front
It was
a front
Fine print
you
could
see

Smitten
written deed
And
left her
money

Heavenly
bliss
This
paper
kiss
Did you
miss
Her
signature,

Never a
good gesture
She-devil
Comma,

Never good
ending
movie
Feature

Never ending
Please visit
and come back
Do I need your opinion?
.,,  ...   ??

Brianna: "Happy Valentine's Day!"
Me: "Happy On-My-Own-For-The-15th-Year-Of-My-Life Day :( "

"Gloomy Conor is Gloomy :/ "

Sunshine makes her skin glow,
Like honeydew dripping from it’s blossom.
The stars can not compare to her everlasting beauty.
Strength and power, love and wisdom,
All shimmer out into the world.
She walks with grace, like a cool smooth breeze of the wind.
Her smile radiates in the room.
Her voice as soft as a lullaby.
The soft chocolate ruby brown eyes,
The soft luminous honey blonde hair blows in the wind
Smelling of a sheen cocoa and shea butter.
~Brianna Springs 11/13/19

i'm one lost little girl
but maybe i'm in my place
you wouldn't know, wouldn't care
what's left behind this pretty face

and some people do
some people look at me
with such heartfelt love
and admiration
like i'm some angel
that's come from high above

but what about me?
what makes me so special?
what makes me nervous?
and, what, exactly, makes you think i will call?

i've fallen from grace,
can't you see?
i've terminated my soul
there's no brianna left to be

so *******
but you won't
and i'll be who you want me to be
i'll live this life with you
until i don't

Jax,Lily,Flawless,Marta,Dr.Shweta,Shiv,Neeraj,Dg.
Emeka,Miss,Jule­s,Bridgett,Salim, Joceyn,memoona.
Sampreeta,daud,Stephanie,Grace,No name,Eloisa.
Hijenduanao,Kauthar,Damien,Joye,Marta,Narendra.
Jole­ne, Perry, Freebird,Surbhi,Godawan,Ikimi,tm,
Xaela,try,S Nirmal,Astrea,Erin,Mindless,Lace,HB.
AP,Timur,Kasidee,Caterra,the­ untold,Melancholy.
Melanie,mckenzie, clark,beebz,sherri,bryan,bakunawa.
khaliyah,brianna,Ay2brutus,Ang­el-like,Maxx,Lure ***.
Mike, me zeal, Kim,Kim,Maeiby,Shanath,Marshall,xallan.
Weeping Willow,Mike Hauser,Serena,AnnMarie,DavidLewis.
JenniferJohnson, itgonnamakesense,Mike Essiq,Nancy.
Olivia,Paul,Mark,Phil,PoetressBhumi and Wilyam Pax.
Here some more love you all, I pray that you are blessed.