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Erenn Jan 2015
Denying stigma of bided truth
You're still breathing, this is proof
Stagnant lies with poignant breaths
You chose this fate
You created this mess

Denying truth will only make you bided
No matter how fluctuated life is
Circles of contempt will never end

Rotating to the eminent truth
You'll be stuck in this loop hole
Repetitions of remorse will tire you out
It's never too late if you just shout

Shout for forgiveness
Shout for compassion
The fallen you condemned
The innocent you slaughtered

The devil always waiting by the gate
The time when the angels die
That's when you realized it's too late
It will always come back to you.
So face the truth.
Andrew Rueter Jul 2018
There's a contentious subsection
Of the homosexual community
That go in a different direction
Hoping to find social immunity
The word masculine
Is the mask they're in
To live life saccharine
Wearing a plastic grin
From the sensation
Of over-compensation
Actuating placation
To differentiate
From the effeminate
They say they're separate
But really they're just desperate
To be accepted
By their own dejectors
To not be rejected
They become defectors

To avoid ridicule
They stack their deck with nothing but physicality
Their mind minuscule
The albatross on their neck is a lack of personality
To please those that compare them to *******
Internalizing their homophobia
An infernal mighty cornucopia
Creating an over abundance of rules
One must follow to be a proper male
But we should jump out of the pool
If being miserable is what that entails

The more genuine version we see
The happier we all should be
Then we might all be free
But if I were to show glee
Someone might call me a ******
And I don't think I could hack it
When the rest of society backs it
With an approval that is tacit
So I convince myself I'm avoiding identity politics
Using total discretion
To make no impression
But my friends and family would know that's not what I'm doing
So why not tell them?
I haw and I hem
Because the underlying ghostly shame
Is the true nature of this social game
When you have the fame of the flame
You're told to get in a lane of the same

Erase my ******* sin
With the title masculine
There are practical reasons to hide it
But how much time will be bided?
Will my life be derided
Until the evil are delighted?
Life's a Beach Sep 2013
It is not who you are,
but rather what you represent, to me,
which defines you.

You encapsulate a love for me,
which I will never know again,
all-defining, pain and fear filled love-
the one he took away.

In a manner, when I look upon you
I look upon him too.
The face of one who
tore my heart and threw it back
cemented in me all that I did lack
which he would then attack.
In a one sided battle,
the blows raining on me like tears,
adding years to my tender age.
You see he had tore the page of childhood,
leaving this book beyond recognition.

Looking back, perhaps I should have had a premonition,
Phil,
of what you were going to be to me.
But I did not want to see
that which would break
the tinted image which I owned of you
which I knew would remain
true
only to a point,
from which it would then be tarnished forever.

I so wanted you to love me back
and so agreed that I lacked
in all that you'd say,
come what may, I know that
I allowed you to control me.
It was not always so one sided.

You bided your time well, you know,
you timed it 'just so', so you
could be sure this final blow would hit.
A finishing spit in the exposed page of my future,

You turned,
you changed,
and the burning pain I felt within,
is possibly your only sin in
this endeavour.
As whatever you are I cannot
blame you for that
which is past.
No matter how long this pain will last-
possibly forever.

And I will prove myself again.
I will prove that I can still love and
be loved in return.
No matter how my heart may yearn,
I have no choice but to spurn those
who are like you.

A half life it may be,
but half full to me.

What you once seemed,
that which I never dreamed you would turn from.
That which, though I may long to,
I shall never see again
when I attempt to see anew.
Not even blindness could hide
all that is true.

Now all I can do is to
bow to the memory
in defeat.
I will never greet who you were again.

You will never eat your words,
you meant them then.
You still do.

The final blow is that;
I will never live up
to the girl you thought
you thought that you once knew.

You reap only the fake crops which
I attempted to sow
in desperation to be,
all that you thought once thought of me.

That girl is dead.
She lives only in my mind
and your heart.
Our paths were meant to be apart.
I have bided you,
in the center of my gravity
cause I love you.

@ Musfiq us shaleheen
my center of gravity that bides you........ (A Haiku)
Sam Hain Oct 2014
One autumn day in Providence
   I opened up a door,
And entered into a stuffy room
   Called "Edgar's Nevermore",

A curio shop with things forbidden,
   And things bizarre and perverse,
And obelisks of ancient books
   Occult, arcane, and diverse.

I poked around the pint-sized potions,
   Inspected a petrified eft,
But made no purchase; and empty handed
   The merchant's lair I left.

Returning home, to my surprise,
   Like one who'd broken the law,
I found I'd taken a good unpaid for:
   A little monkey's paw.

It tightly gripped, with fingers curled,
   A flap of baggy sleeve;
And there it stayed, upon my jacket,
   When I hung it up at eve.

For many days it didn't move,
   And seemed the perfect pet;
But never trust a monkey's paw,
   Or this is what you'll get:

I went to bed a drunken evening,
   And slept as though I were dead;
And I didn't hear the monkey's paw
   As it crept beside my bed,

The monkey's paw that had bided its time,
   And waited, still as could be,
To choose this night to strangle it—
   My voodoo doll of me!

(Why did I have a voodoo doll
   Of me, you ask? Well, I...
Well, let's just say...well...I can't tell you...
   I'd blush to tell you why...)

I awoke (with bleary, blurry vision)
   To the monkey-****** grip,
Then died without a single curse
   To swear upon my lip.

And in my town I'm still remembered
   As that quintessential loner
Who died alone with a mangled throat,
   A creepy doll...and a *****.

O.O
am i ee Sep 2015
"i ain't got no fat bootay.
i am just a little husky."
she said to me.
that big fat bus with the big fat yellow bootay.

"i'm a thinkin'
i'm gittin' REAL tired
of all your verse."
said she.

"you should live the life i do.
yes you should.
just for one day.
grubby little kids kicking the back of my seats,
hanging out the windows
screaming so loud.

"crying and punching
throwing each other's gear.
boxing an ear.

"picking and fightin'
and bullying every year.
wet boots and sand
poking me in the tummy
with their little stupid umbrellas.
wiping snot on my clean seats.

those high schoolers
smoking in back,
tobacco and joints
and drinking & stuff
thinking i don't know it.

well the he-ing and she-ing,
on trips, to games and more,
i won't go into here.
what do they think i am?
a rolling motel
hotel
super 6?

it's enough to drive me right
out of my mind here.

"i used to be shiny and bright and new,
and i was so happy
to finally get out on the town.
then i realized for what i was made
year after year,
driving around,
the very same trip
all over town.
more than enough
to drive anyone insane.

"if i had wrists,
i assure you i'd slit em',
for you can never imagine,
what is it like,
to be me."
says that big fat bus with the big fat yellow bootay.

okay so now... i'm starting to feel
just a little bad,
all the mad verse
i hurled
at her
all of those days.

so i say,
to that big fat bus,
with the big fat yellow bootay,
"why wait around?
set yourself free,
before you end up in the big fat bus
cemetery!

now in some other time,
in some other life,
i start to see,
i could see ,
the possibility,
of what good friends
we could have been.

i would have waxed her
well, brightened her up
shined up the grill
made those white walls sparkle.

i coulda detailed her
inside and out.
checked her oil
and tweaked those points
making sure those
spark plugs would light.

rotated her tires and
lubed all her joints.
windexed her glass
front, side and back.

so now
still feeling a little bad
i say,
to that big little-husky bus
with the big little-husky yellow bootay,
"go single,
go solo,
but GO NOW!"

taking my advice to heart,
that big fat bus,
with her big fat yellow bootay,

she discharged that last child,
and driver so worn,
and bided her time,
till well after dark.

she took a quick,
furtive look around,
stealthily rolled  
out of the yard.

once a safe distance away,
set her engine in gear,
and got right the hell
out of here.
right away.

flying down the open roads,
careening around every
sharp curve,
every bend.
tipped on her side,
tires right up off the ground.

shrieking like a madwoman

"it's a good day to die!
i'm finally free!"

"It's a good day to die! mother f-ers" she cried
as she sped down the road.

until,

HEY?
HEEEEYYY?
What's THAT in my way?

OH NO!
it's a BIG FAT BUS !
with a BIG FAT YELLOW BOOTAY!
and it's in MY WAY!

...brakes stomped through the floor with all her might,
smoking tires and squealing rubber, and skidding down the highway,
way out of control...

more to come ...Chronicles of a Big Fat Yellow Bootay
Big Fat Yellow Bootay has made 2 previous appearances here.

if you have a hankerin' to read from the beginning... see the Collections,  The Manly Cowboy & Chronicles of a Big Fat Yellow Bootay
The ladye she stood at her lattice high,
Wi' her doggie at her feet;
Thorough the lattice she can spy
The passers in the street,

"There's one that standeth at the door,
And tirleth at the pin:
Now speak and say, my popinjay,
If I sall let him in."

Then up and spake the popinjay
That flew abune her head:
"*** let him in that tirls the pin:
He cometh thee to wed."

O when he cam' the parlour in,
A woeful man was he!
"And dinna ye ken your lover agen,
Sae well that loveth thee?"

"And how *** I ken ye loved me, Sir,
That have been sae lang away?
And how *** I ken ye loved me, Sir?
Ye never telled me sae."

Said - "Ladye dear," and the salt, salt tear
Cam' rinnin' doon his cheek,
"I have sent the tokens of my love
This many and many a week.

"O didna ye get the rings, Ladye,
The rings o' the gowd sae fine?
I wot that I have sent to thee
Four score, four score and nine."

"They cam' to me," said that fair ladye.
"Wow, they were flimsie things!"
Said - "that chain o' gowd, my doggie to howd,
It is made o' thae self-same rings."

"And didna ye get the locks, the locks,
The locks o' my ain black hair,
Whilk I sent by post, whilk I sent by box,
Whilk I sent by the carrier?"

"They cam' to me," said that fair ladye;
"And I prithee send nae mair!"
Said - "that cushion sae red, for my doggie's head,
It is stuffed wi' thae locks o' hair."

"And didna ye get the letter, Ladye,
Tied wi' a silken string,
Whilk I sent to thee frae the far countrie,
A message of love to bring?"

"It cam' to me frae the far countrie
Wi' its silken string and a';
But it wasna prepaid," said that high-born maid,
"Sae I gar'd them tak' it awa'."

"O ever alack that ye sent it back,
It was written sae clerkly and well!
Now the message it brought, and the boon that it sought,
I must even say it mysel'."

Then up and spake the popinjay,
Sae wisely counselled he.
"Now say it in the proper way:
*** doon upon thy knee!"

The lover he turned baith red and pale,
Went doon upon his knee:
"O Ladye, hear the waesome tale
That must be told to thee!

"For five lang years, and five lang years,
I coorted thee by looks;
By nods and winks, by smiles and tears,
As I had read in books.

"For ten lang years, O weary hours!
I coorted thee by signs;
By sending game, by sending flowers,
By sending Valentines.

"For five lang years, and five lang years,
I have dwelt in the far countrie,
Till that thy mind should be inclined
Mair tenderly to me.

"Now thirty years are gane and past,
I am come frae a foreign land:
I am come to tell thee my love at last -
O Ladye, gie me thy hand!"

The ladye she turned not pale nor red,
But she smiled a pitiful smile:
"Sic' a coortin' as yours, my man," she said
"Takes a lang and a weary while!"

And out and laughed the popinjay,
A laugh of bitter scorn:
"A coortin' done in sic' a way,
It ought not to be borne!"

Wi' that the doggie barked aloud,
And up and doon he ran,
And tugged and strained his chain o' gowd,
All for to bite the man.

"O hush thee, gentle popinjay!
O hush thee, doggie dear!
There is a word I fain *** say,
It needeth he should hear!"

Aye louder screamed that ladye fair
To drown her doggie's bark:
Ever the lover shouted mair
To make that ladye hark:

Shrill and more shrill the popinjay
Upraised his angry squall:
I trow the doggie's voice that day
Was louder than them all!

The serving-men and serving-maids
Sat by the kitchen fire:
They heard sic' a din the parlour within
As made them much admire.

Out spake the boy in buttons
(I ween he wasna thin),
"Now wha will tae the parlour ***,
And stay this deadlie din?"

And they have taen a kerchief,
Casted their kevils in,
For wha will tae the parlour ***,
And stay that deadlie din.

When on that boy the kevil fell
To stay the fearsome noise,
"*** in," they cried, "whate'er betide,
Thou prince of button-boys!"

Syne, he has taen a supple cane
To swinge that dog sae fat:
The doggie yowled, the doggie howled
The louder aye for that.

Syne, he has taen a mutton-bane -
The doggie ceased his noise,
And followed doon the kitchen stair
That prince of button-boys!

Then sadly spake that ladye fair,
Wi' a frown upon her brow:
"O dearer to me is my sma' doggie
Than a dozen sic' as thou!

"Nae use, nae use for sighs and tears:
Nae use at all to fret:
Sin' ye've bided sae well for thirty years,
Ye may bide a wee langer yet!"

Sadly, sadly he crossed the floor
And tirled at the pin:
Sadly went he through the door
Where sadly he cam' in.

"O gin I had a popinjay
To fly abune my head,
To tell me what I ought to say,
I had by this been wed.

"O gin I find anither ladye,"
He said wi' sighs and tears,
"I wot my coortin' sall not be
Anither thirty years

"For gin I find a ladye gay,
Exactly to my taste,
I'll pop the question, aye or nay,
In twenty years at maist."
PoeticPresident Oct 2017
Sunny days bring smiles on faces
Girls with ***** shorts and sunglasses
Guys with muscle tops or floral hemps and snapback caps
September 19th was sunny
Well, that's until the clouds acuated the skies
and made all the smile evacuate to dystopia
This was an apocalypse
in my parent's house,
a place I used to call home
My father, Christopher
was the devil, Lucifer
and my mother was an angel with wings-
a delightful servant of Venus,
the goddess of love
Only, she couldn't fly
Not mentally, not physically and definitely not verbally
Her vocal chords were shaking as she passed her voice to my dad
She was the rainbow and sunshine
that was no longer divine
it was cryin’
while the devil was roarin’
as if he was a god
in which he was, but only of hell
He omitted fire but this time, it was cold
So cold that a tornado spun around the dining room
as I sat there, frozen, and watched like a snowman
The pupils of my eight year old eyes
witnessed the ending of a love I thought was immortal
A love that I used to think was magical
and illiterate
A love that formed in two hearts that bided into one
on their own
without the education of authorities
This was apartheid!,
and my parents were illegally married
A white European knight in shining armour
to an African goddess with attractive eyes
I started to believe that my mind
used to be a foolish thrall to the world of perfect love
But now I believe that it’s a vendee
who bought the saying, “love is blind”
I was a child who no longer believed
in the love of mankind
I had trouble finding myself
‘cause faith is to believe what you cannot see
and self-love was nowhere in sight
Now love is something I have to draw
and I cannot neutralize it
with optimism ‘cause my world was at an apocalypse
when the sun was supposed to be out...
It's quite difficult to accept that your parents, who you loved both dearly, are going to divorce. The first time you see them fighting as a child actually turns out to be the last. They've been fighting for quite some time, just behind closed doors because they didn't want to scare you or get you worried. You find it difficult to understand why they don't sleep in the same bed or live under the same roof. Only later on in life, you realise what has happened. This poem expresses the thoughts of a teenager who finally knows and understands what happened to the two heroes of her life.
Onoma Mar 2016
Wisps of fog dragged
upon the ground, as errant
raindrops bided gray time.
Eyes fixed afield, sharing
an inertness that revitalized
our gray matter.
Robins and blackbirds scattered
their weightless will upon the
damp field.
As nearly imperceptible twinges of
sunlight interrupted the air, then
vanished.
This occurred in confidences, everytime the sunlight gained
upon itself.
The fog began burning off in
decrepid scraps...put asunder
by the field's thundering
anticipation.
The fog was lifted to spring's hierarchies of light...as blackbirds
electrified puddles in a flurry of
wings.
Spraying droplets of water
adorning the sunlight, then flying to
a favored branch shaking dry.
Eyes fixed afield, I was showered below
by accolades of rebirth.
Ottar May 2013
All the pattern pieces were made with individual care,
Woven together, the journey through life women share,
But there remained some loose ends, unused threads.

They were the ones that did not get used,
Not part of the pattern, not fused, they refused,
To be set aside, they bided their time, knowing...

Just as the women had been brought together over a dire need,
With prayer, they assembled the quilt pieces knitted without greed,
No gossip filled the air, a sense of urgency to complete the work.

Each piece was attached to another, using the left-over threads,
The many became one community, tied together with the short threads,
The rejects now held the whole quilt together, instead,
Of being discarded.

It takes all in a community, to make one quilt, one banner, one voice,
One future, from patterned pieces to a hand full of loose threads.
Terry Collett Feb 2013
Between full moons
And new moons he lived
Half crazy, or so he said,
Putting that down as his
Excuse for his raving moods
Of pinch and punch whatever
Time of the month, but you

Thought it best to wait and see
If it would all go away or if he’d
Grow out of it like an old sweater
Or maybe have some religious
Conversion and be a better person,
But he never did, and the cruising
For a bruising, as he said to you,

Continued, the moods changing,
Darkening, the rows, the words,
The up you signs, the pulling down
Of blinds before the beatings began,
(That sort of man), the neighbours
Saying, yes, he’s a good steady type,
Wouldn’t hurt a fly, smiles and says
Hello, how do you do, and goodbye.

Between summer sun to winter death,
You waited, bided your time, watched,
Felt, ached, then one winter morning,
Out of the blue, he stopped hitting you,
You hit him instead and now he’s silent,
Good to be around, because he’s dead.
2009 POEM.
Dave Hardin Oct 2016
Work History

I lucked into my first job
building four-letter radio station
call signs from tangled bins
of consonants and vowels.  

In those days it was
all done by hand.

Sharp corners on the F’s kept you
on your toes, O’s easy to bobble
when you got careless, “slot four,
out the door!”, a newbie mnemonic

forever lodged in my brain.  
I bided my time on the K line

until a spot opened on the W,
the graveyard shift.  It paid
a little more, the hours going
toward my Creative License.

It was the seventies. We chewed
betel to stay awake during long

classical station runs then punched
out woozy, blind in morning sun,
fingers bleeding, teeth stained red.  
Top forty, we popped ‘em out

like biscuits and squirrelled
away X’s to slip onto the ends

of freeform formats, small acts
of defiance.  I quit to avoid prosecution,
nabbed sneaking parts out
in my pants, one letter at a time,

building words, paragraphs, whole
stories in my basement.
scar Jun 2015
sgs
it has been ages since i have felt
the grass beneath my feet.
a long time since i have stood, helplessly laughing,
as someone drenches me with a garden hose.
a long long time since someone broke an egg over my head
and used it as shampoo.
an even longer time since i watched my father fixing the seat of my little pink bicycle
and ran around the garden
with my curls bobbing in the wind.

relatively

it's been a short time since i left the school i called my home
a short time since i walked the corridors late at night when everyone had left
and early in the morning before they got there.
not long at all since i swung the hoover again and again over the floors
and sang castle on a cloud.
a short time has passed since i called alana by her surname
since she stood outside the classroom watching silently as i cleaned
and sang of hoping for a better day.
since she saw me walking down the corridor
bent over with the weight of all the things in my heart
and snapped at me lovingly "scarlett! head up!"
i still think of that
when life becomes tiring
when i walk down the street and find myself looking at the floor.
i think of sally and her own brand of concern,
of brigitte, nina, wendy
and the time they spent ensuring i was ok
even when i wouldn't let them
(especially when i wouldn't let them).

of mark and tracy, who wouldn't let me give up on myself
(my self)
even when i broke
even when i couldn't stand it anymore
mark would make snipping scissor motions with his fingers:
'do you want to be a hairdresser?'
tracy, making me smile
showing me how to understand
that i didn't have to apologise
for being
me.

of joe, who gave me the key to the little hut
and told me it wasn't alarmed
when he found me sitting outside the school door at 6am
for the fourth week running.
i went to the hut that evening
and opened the door
inside the cupboard at the back was a duvet and a pillow.

they made me understand kindness, these people
the ones i knew cared, even when i wouldn't really let them.
they taught me so much more than their lessons contained
held me up to the window and showed me the light of day
through the cracks.
i waited
bided my time
held on with them behind me
my silent guardians, watching, willing me collectively on.

i want to do them proud
they are what keeps me going
when i see them again
i feel how others must feel when they go home.

these people are more than my friends
more than my surrogate parents, even
they have been my saviours through the years
when i was too tired or too naive to save myself.

i have no words, really
to express the gratitude i feel towards them.
and yet somehow i must write something
even though it can't come anywhere close
to what i'd like
to say.

i guess really
that the only thing i can say to all of them
is
i love you all
and thank you
more than you will ever
ever know.
Tony Luxton Aug 2015
If we trust our peace to a peace maker
to whom or what do we trust our time?
Maybe it's a watch alarm or beeper
in work or play until our final chime.

Time may be measured even treasured
though never really saved or enslaved.
Now long now short now spent now pressured
sometimes borrowed bided always craved.

It has no substance but is the essence
whose tincture tipples us into truculence
perhaps some paranoid pretence
amidst much of irrelevance.
Tina Marie Oct 2014
When I first saw you
And you saw me too
Sparks of passion ignited my veins.

I looked in your eyes
And tried to disguise
The fact that my heart was riddled with pain.

For you had a girl
Who was your whole world
And all of my love was all in vain.

So I bided my time
And sipped on my wine
And silently prayed that one day

That you'd call it quits
And after the split
You would come to me and say

Well I like you baby
Do you think that maybe
We could spend a few lazy
Days alone?
Or maybe talk on the phone?

Cause girl you know
You drive me crazy.
You make my mind go
Fuzzy and hazy.
So tell me baby
Do you think maybe?
Lol, channeling my inner redneck. Sung to the tune of "Friends in low Places" by Garth Brooks. And yes, I know there's an extra verse before the chorus. =P
Sequoia Sawyer Mar 2016
Seraph and Ephedrine*
     or *colliding, and by ash


Blond rain, hot, braising a brunette burn.
The stage was taking turns when she turned up
beneath me; meek petite, turned out to be
a wishing well while I adored the ring-
song of another southern belle. "Fall in,"
our notes implored to me and I, delighted, did.

She astride, we twisted up in splendid
flow, the baby blue's and sultry auburn's
nightly sojourns. Tucked unknown inside
her chest's soft comfort, lazing, I'd wake up
and glow. Two autumn lovers racing spring's
escaping tide, colliding, and by ash besnowed.

Scottsdale found me prey in unbecoming
news of winter crimes. I learned of didoes,
sickening grit, soirees of summer scoring
lines and picking pits and nursing burns
and being crooked all the time. Upside-
downing and dying, still, I bided her decline.

Bushy tailed and bright eyed, I entertained
elides not all bright white inside. I climbed
Sioux Falls and foraged for seduction. Lit up
and afflicted? Fix: a sick and sordid
sort of wickedness, a Pyrrhic forfeit's burnishing
reduction. Spurred, I galvanized, ceased her ringside

and matured. I'd drift immersed in suffering,
so, and surface shown not shore or certain
earthen berm; soon I earned my sideburns,
emerging taciturn, eternally, to her. Beckons
chirped at first, then mewed, then roared, candid
advents went ignored, an epoch couped

with cruel and sober sword. I suppose
the years assuaged the ache enough to wring
my rage awake and tough; seeing the iodide
wraith herself, withered and rough and raked in
such concern, she saw me unperturbed
because I finally wasn't shamed how things had burned.

I was always proud of her suffering; her ruin in bedlam by design,
but burned-up notes and buried bedding didn't seem so tragic at the time.
I'm always seeking crituque.

This is a sestina that I've been working on for 10 years. It's still far from any good, I think; but I like it more every time I revisit it.
Lauren Mar 2014
I only smell the bakery down my street the sewers are clogged with our dead ends while spring makes a guest appearance, finding my way home to the spot I've name always "the end" the stars have always led me back here. To the smell of bliss and Italian hair nets. The nests above always crest a hold on me. The curving plate of land leading to the window-sized door I've memorized the cracks and bruises of each push, I know I've pushed too hard into the wind and a battle started that I tried to drown with envy and sink with grief. You never fit on my block, you looked too focused and confused and too illustrated under each paragraph and each line you couldn't align yourself between finger tips or look at poetry, looking at you made me get the concept of a sore thumb, I couldn't bare to watch you lie there longer, you've  always managed to touch me like an empty canvas, a loose picture frame and if there is one thing left to say to the rosy cheeks of you entering the castle I thought bided our humanity, beneath this ginger bread smell and silence it would be thanks, for stopping by.
ah, tis in regard to praise worthy of zee
sylph van halen wondrous sigh door house
   where boot LIX ******* ruled thee,
this missive (fertilized ova byproduct),
   sans newly wedded whoopie
between n betwixt carnal existence
   involving stiff joint courtesy of randy
(loch ness hike hood only imagine)

   engendered pleasurable scree
ming, when enfilade eruption occurred
   sans papa's engorged tree
into verdant valley shaped like miniature "v"
when bare naked lady n beastie boy - with re:
tractable shaped magic flute
   mountebank upon late
   (then young) mum when she

acquiesced bing dominated
   during **** version with glee
  club (prickly ***** per papa)
   unplanned romp or x game of thrones
  whereby rampant animal urge beckoned to free
flagellates searching mini verdant zyder zee

which warm fuzzy i.e. cop u lay shun
   nine months later with meself as baby
baked to imp perfection second to none
   this futre puff daddy slated
   tubby conceived via *** pistol gun
in tandem with mull ate mum,
   who cavorted in naked fun
   begat word **** as second brood ding bun
in the oven o me late mum...
   gone against desire tool heave anon!
------------------------------------
(long prose and poetry my atypical mode at introducing myself).

How apropos and divine to stumble (merely by happenstance) across a chance to claim my (virtual) fifteen minute fragments of fame just in the click and nick of time.  

Although gainfully unemployed (do to a series of unfortunate events that now finds me receiving social security disability), I can still vividly visualize utter despair and vouchsafe to acquire the requisite trappings emblematic of psychic misfortune.

Indelible, permanent and unfading abysmal damaging domestic dynamics got etched deep upon the memory of this erstwhile individual! The general gist in the form of quick brush strokes (namely written) of psychologically traumatizing recollection now follows.

I can attest to malevolent mean-spirited objections by my father (and late mother) in regard to my grossly unacceptable attire, deportment and work ethic.

Nonetheless, a sense of righteous vindictiveness manifested itself thru attendant Pyrrhic victories.

Back in those days I (a grown adult male and considerably past the age of rebelling against authoritarianism, and their only not so prodigal heir hiss son) poorly wore mantle and staff of supposed maturity.

Lack of compliance and obeisance with regulations and rules of Harris household (mainly thru being in constant denial to conform, maintaining emotional detachment and estrangement and evincing little or no concern for family members) brewed, festered and lied dormant during prepubescence.

The pressure and tension between and betwixt genetic kinfolk (so palpable one could sense an indomitable barrier), would rank as successfully dysfunctional way before such nom de guerre became in vogue.

Fury and wrath became markedly and noticeably pronounced once exiting the storied four walls of high school.

The venomous barrage and fusillade spewed forth from off parental tongues at an exponential rate and on a par to feeling the stinging cudgel of a horsewhip.

Out of fear and timidity, I consequently and silently absorbed cruel treatment.

Neither the eldest nor youngest sibling bore witness against the tender spirit of their only brother.

A façade as hardened (statue) conveniently adopted.

This embodiment poorly served to fend off onslaught of incessant anger.

This defense mechanism (identified as passive aggressive by mom) offered  minuscule protection as I mentally dodged lobbed insults and affected defiance (in league like poisoned bards and daggers hurled) of said threats and ultimatums.

No matter these bitter pills of blaring character assassination (mine), denunciations, fulminations, incrimination's, intimidation's, vociferous vocalizations (by said parents), I stood my ground at played the deaf mute, which repression and internalization of emotional maelstrom only caused self contamination and manifestation of humiliation.

They (dad and mom) became further angered and inflamed per my total oblivious stance! This reaction added insult to injury.

Deliverance (minus dueling banjos) per tough love lessons amplified to the tune of additional feats at becoming excoriated, ranted and raved against this, that and the other of my habits and nonchalant indifference to pursue work.

Those involuntary, unrehearsed and vicious family chats happened to be replete with heavily exploding and uncorked anger.

That (of course) would be a considerable understatement!

Dad (the de facto, elected and nominal spokesperson for unpleasant chest thumping exclamations, (which conveniently took place no earlier than the stroke of midnight) - emphatically swore (adrip with dramatic livid rage - like rabid beast) all manner of **** vulgarity and demanded from this insolent appearing male offspring immediate compliance.

Defiance and fatigue offered him predictable and usual blank stare upon hearing the kind and lenient sentence to pack bags and GET OUT!  

With dreaded approach of dire and sealed fate (played out in this over active imagination of mine with dad and mom egregiously fiendishly, grotesquely expunged themselves of any last vestige personal emotional belonging), I anxiously bided my time.

Those next couple weeks forced self-evaluation of Atheism.

The recurrent consideration of relinquishing nonestablishmentarian paradigm in favor and lieu with God, miracles and salvation seemed to clash being liberal thinker.

As indicated, the tempest and tirade quickly got turned back upon those who so masterfully tormented this second born, whose steadfast stoicism and subservience to a higher power perchance brought a temporary respite.

That deadline (which happened to be just one of many similar sputtering swearing fulminations, salacious ultimatums valuations of love) blithely came and went without incident - no matter expletive filled intense oath to remove) continued to keep pull to remain an occupant with kinfolk.

What caused especial ire and wrath to fester (per apparent ambivalence, indifference and nonchalance for me to take any job - even shoveling **** - particularly within emotional bedrock and firmament of deceased mother) constituted remembrance and vivid reminder of her father.

My maternal grandfather (Morris Kuritsky) supposedly never paid much heed to regular and steady employment (to support his four children and wife) despite his skill as a swift tailor. Hence my mother (Harriet) grew up and lived in utter destitution and poverty.

Mother subsequently reacted with ferocious vindictiveness upon witnessing a near magic transformation of near identical behavior in Matthew - the single heir to the family name.
---------------------------------------
...from this middle and sole son harris progeny
who willingly shared hoop - ping equal play zure
   arose from wading thru verbiage of letters abc...
...xyz
in various combinations he
arranges/arranged foe his passion to be
somewhat liter aery.


your prerogative, to message or email
(hay4four@aol.com) typed
   back what ever impulse            
juiced where ever spools create poetic strand
asper fingers comprising specific black keys land
to react inspires with nuttin grand
viz **** sapiens
   pearl jam chrome once canned
gene net tick trader joe brand.

postscript: a dream to wit ness
mine current high school senior
   a name y'all never guess
to make the entrance grade for university of penn
   after the truckload of application material
   someone or many doze *****!

http://about.me/matthewscott.harris
Matt Berkes Jun 2017
My arms too short to reach the door,
Motor skills unaccounted for,
And he had yet to build rapport.
But he wore robes and masks
And skulked beneath
The floor.

My heart abounds without a care,
Laughter floats on blissful air,
He's only in places of disrepair.
But when I stare at the cracks
I see him
Waiting there.

A time for change of flesh and mind,
A sense of reality rendered blind,
To my imagination, he resigned.
But he bided his time
As his methods
Were refined.

The rise and fall of her chest is slow.
We hold our breath and don't let go.
Time limps toward a fate we know.
And just like that
He's real with
Fear bestowed.

And now he's every face I see,
In thoughts and words and inquiry,
A tidal wave I cannot flee.
His reach, I feel,
Is greater than
The sea.

And those eyes, those
Sinister eyes
Are always watching me.

I can almost feel them.
Thomas Walsh Oct 2014
Ever since that night
My thoughts have slipped away.
I cannot think about anything,
Except for you everyday

I can't concentrate;
You're toying with my heart.
I scream out in silence
I don't know where to start

When we met
I knew it was you.
I bided my time
Never wanting, but withdrew

I've never felt this way
I can barely breath or see
You're the girl of my dreams
Yet you hardly notice me.
And when you do
You relight a candle I can't put out,
Until it rises in to ta great flame
Built from my own doubt

So close to love, to hold
When we talk
As I gaze at your beauty
You look at another

Your wit intrigues me
Your laugh haunts me
You dance like the summer
Hot, powerful, moving, ravaging, and beautiful
Like the summer you heat me up
Until I'm burning like never before
Hoping you can catch a bit of my passion
Terry Collett Apr 2013
Between full moons
And new moons he lived
Half crazy, or so he said,
Putting that down as his
Excuse for his raving moods
Of pinch and punch whatever
Time of the month, but you

Thought it best to wait and see
If it would all go away or if he’d
Grow out of it like an old sweater
Or maybe have some religious
Conversion and be a better person,
But he never did, and the cruising
For a bruising, as he said to you,

Continued, the moods changing,
Darkening, the rows, the words,
The up you signs, the pulling down
Of blinds before the beatings began,
(That sort of man), the neighbours
Saying, yes, he’s a good steady type,
Wouldn’t hurt a fly, smiles and says
Hello, how do you do, and goodbye.

Between summer sun to winter death,
You waited, bided your time, watched,
Felt, ached, then one winter morning,
Out of the blue, he stopped hitting you,
You hit him instead and now he’s silent,
Good to be around, because he’s dead.
nivek Aug 2014
we danced out the womb
singing our songs loud
refusing to be ignored
we bided our time
Scarlet McCall May 2020
She only wanted to walk freely,
or gallop through a valley
and feel the wind in her hair.
To camp by a stream and eat lembas
and wild roots.  Wander here and there
with Feanor’s sons, hunt wild boar, and drink
and laugh.
She would cast away the distaff.

But freedom for a woman can be a fragile thing,
beautiful and brief as a moth’s wing.
Eol, the Dark Elf, dwelt in shadow, in Nan Elmoth.
He saw Aredhel, alone and lost, and desired her, to betroth.

She had no choice
but to seek help at a stranger’s door.
And then she had choice no more.

Captivity breaks weaker hearts.
But Aredhel was Elven, and of Finwe’s line.
She bided time. She worked her womanly arts.
She raised a son, and loved him,
and told him stories of fair Gondolin.
When chance arrived, they broke free
and fled West, to the fair city.
Eol, enraged, pursued them,
and the words of Curufin stung him.
He would have killed his only son
for his defiance, but fate denied him
this pyrrhic victory.
Maeglin lived, and watched his father
die, as he stood by, free.

Maeglin—his father’s son—desired one
who loved him not. In reckless despair, he traveled too far,
and Morgoth preyed on his shame and desire.
It was not hard to turn Maeglin traitor and liar.
But no reward had Maeglin in this life--
never did he take fair Idril to wife.

Aredhel died to save her son, not knowing
he would be the one
to bring ruin on the Elven city.
Maeglin (his father’s son) had no kindness nor pity.  
He revealed the secret path
to Morgoth (his likeness in envy and in wrath).
And in the end, all fell: Gondolin, Nargothrond
and Doriath.
The tale of Aredhel, from the Silmarillion, told in verse. If you've never read the Silmarillion, it might seem a bit obscure
Randy Alvarez Mar 2017
My heart has been set ablaze
Mind is stuck in a cave
Your heart is what I must tame
We're driving each other insane
Who is to blame but who am I to say.
Drugs are what have overcame
Keeping us partially sane
I wish to be more brave, going insane
Heart as hard as stone
Feelin it when my feet tread through snow.
Your heart beats a sad monotone
There's a unpatched cut in my heart
My only wish is to keep yours from being ripped apart.
There's a blade against your heart
Barrel against my chest
I can't take another breath
Dark shadows haunt me
Counting down my death
Grey clouds stalk me
Knives falling from the sky
Rain drops hurt me
Your soul burns me
And your touch melts me
One has never felt such pain as thy
I have the affection you need
Tell me why your heart must bleed
This is one thing I ask, I plead
The darkness is what your sadness feeds and where I rest my left knee
Prayed to a diety, speech is which he granted me
Spoke is what I did indeed
Told him what I need, that is of a key
Bided my soul just to see you walk free
Would you cry for me?
No, just think of me, as you walk free
Don't pray for me
Just wait for me
When you near your final breath I can finally rest.
Death will not do us part.
Free X <3
slight *****, but otherwise... positive pitch
re: without a hitch
the first innoculation approximately
five months prior also nary glitch.

Preemptive needling measure
regarding getting fully
immunized at CVS
(Zieglerville, Pennsylvania)13:08
military time May First
2020 bruised left arm update
status report regarding
preventive measure well worth

suspenseful interlude preliminary
delay imposed wait
while pharmacist at
aforementioned Consumer Value
Store (common everyday Joe)
bided time to cogitate
proactive decision to become

fully immunized against
Chickenpox, an infection
courtesy varicella zoster virus
later in life ditto bugaboo
can cause shingles reactivate
head by whim of ******
zoster the latter occurring late
adult life, neither rhyme,

nor reason weakened immune
system (possibly stress)
suddenly avails blimey candidate
to experience shingles tatted
telltale rash with radiating,
shooting, tingling pain

affecting one side of body decorate
ting once lovely fleshed
bones with red fluid filled blisters
said dry out pustules dry out
and crust over within seven to
ten days, which above
outbreak preceded by fever, chills,

and fever, whereby raised
pimply red Morse code a dash
of dots, (albeit raised) on skin,
and redness not to agitate
impossible mission (more
difficult then threading camel
thru eye of needle) tingling

under skin topping off slate
head symptoms with upset
stomach, no matter physician
(perhaps doctor tending one
after another family member
think Marcus Welby, M.D.,
Doctor Who, Doogie Howser...)

Nope, no cure for shingles,
but treatment can decrease rate
complications arise, postherpetic
neuralgia (condition affects
nerve fibers and skin, causing
burning painful state
lasting long after rash and
blisters of shingles disappear.

Unbeknownst why once
chicken pox runs rampantly askew
said subsequently taking
their furlough into nerve tissue
tinier, yet more mighty then
garden variety/generic bacteria

inexplicably "wake up" and
travel along nerve fibers moo
ving utterly uncowed wreaking
havoc as shingles re: ******
(dizz) zoster relentlessly
assaulting beastie boy/goo
goo doll as rapacious motley crew.

Please to report, I experience(d)
minimal adverse reactions such as,
redness, no swelling at the injection site,
yes muscle pain, tiredness, but
no headache, shivering, fever,
nor upset stomach plagued me
lovely skeletal musculature,
albeit generic healthy male.
There is smoke
but no fire,
My ire burned to ash
Rash decisions
a well run dry
As I try to free my buried soul
From the control that you have taken
By the gods forsaken
To lie with the sucubi
You and I two headed
And two sided
Our time bided to ensure
All pure was perverted
And twisted like the snake
That spake in your head
In the bed where I tasted your beauty. ...

There can be no found without being lost
No final cost till we are bought
The prize sought simplistic
Animalistic in our pursuits
Of the gods for which we yearn
Well,it's not bad for a work done on the spot. ...15 min or so
Kurt Philip Behm Feb 2019
I once tried crossing over
  a bridge that silence built

And for mile after mile
  the quiet maimed and killed

My speech was dumb and dormant
  as I bided all my time

In hope of passing through the cracks
   the exit doors unrhymed

My life dead on arrival
  till a voice inside decreed

To build a frame beneath that bridge
   —and set my meaning free

(Villanova Pennsylvania: February, 2019)
David R Aug 2021
Autumn brushed her golden hair
curling locks of auburn-red
as she shed the gold 'n fair
as she donned her white to wed

she swirled around for me to see
the colours cascade, as waves of sea,
her rain of auric crimson leaves
over hay and golden sheaves

and round about, upon the ground,
a scattered patchwork of earth's finest
clothes of copper, bronze 'n browns,
as befit her regnant highness

weathered skin of palest alabaster
with hints o' coral hue,
glistening dew on whitest plaster,
as cream of marbled statue

as she shed her harvest raiment
stark beauty in the sky
heady jasmine and cider scent
betray her unclad thigh

and he waited, bided time,
with snow and crystal'd silver
bedecking ice-king in his prime
still and patient Winter

wrapped himself in single sheet
of luminous, crystalline ice,
as he laid his ivory feet
on mount of edelweiss

for Autumn, she had melted
'fore his numinous gelidity
invisible she lay pelted
'neath his averous cupidity

he tapped his toe in single tone
in beat of coldest shiver
as in the moonlight, there alone
shot arrows from his quiver

darts of hail and blustering wind
his army of projectiles
hid benevolence as he grin'd
a warm, pulsating smile

for now sweet earth, beneath her blanket
of whitest, softest snow,
giveth forth roots for sumptuous banquet
sun shines on afterglow
BLT's Merriam-Webster Word of The Day Challenge
#numinous, #regnant
Michael Marchese Aug 2021
As if it mattered
Colored lives
When nothing in the world
Survives
She’s taken
Great
At this rate I
Have only stake in
Yet to die
No reason to report
To work
To have the boss
Impugn my worth
Incentive’s solely
Meager pay
Misplaced ambition
Power play
Some day I could be
In control
But don’t get fired
Is my goal
For now
And patiently preside
Over the wasted,
Bided time
Until she stands
And cracks a smile,
Asks to use
Some stupid file
All the while
Unrequited
How she makes me feel
Ignited
Scott Gunnion Oct 2018
13 stroke 14
Or some time in between
An evil angel- having bided its time
Thrusts a pound into an apple

The world grinds to silence

In the brunt of dusk
Lightning struck four chambers
That one by one did turn to mush
And for months to come
There was little else of which they talked

Red run dry overnight
Awash in the moonlight
Though your name peeled slowly
Like a toffee apple painted with gold

And in the smudge of dusk
Infinite eulogies did erupt
Embalming you
Sweeping away all wrong

Enlightened
They carved their condolences into toilet doors
And gawped through stained glass windows
As your shadow did spasms  

An **** of taxidermists
Painted you peach with modesty and
Stuffed you with hindsight
Before blue light ignited

Making you shapeless

They made you a martyr
Your funeral a coronation
- In Technicolor
Though you only ever wore black  

Now history fills you with fiction
Fills you with colour


End
15
He was 15 when it broke out and he stood on the shore 
Signed up with the navy and sailed off to war
8 months went by then they found out his age
'Too young ' said the captain 'to take a sailors wage'
Dropped off in a strange land he bided his time
Till his 16th arrived and he could rejoin the line. 
With his best friend and his brother 
They stood in ua trench
Near a town called passion dale
Breathing death's dreadful stench.
Over they went into deafening hell.
Brother and friend he lost as they fell.
The last one alive as he reached German lines
The enemy guns fell silent As tears filled their eyes
'Go back tommy'
'Turn round and go home'
'This slaughter must end for shame for shame'
'There's no German bullets that will carry your name.'
Grandad turned and walked back alone
ACross no man's land across blood across bone.
I was just a boy and He hardly spoke of war to me
'it's nothing i'd like your young eyes to see'
But he cried when he told me 
about when the barrage was done 
That He heard One lonely skylark sing a 
song of hope 
as it flew over the Somme.

— The End —