Feed me lies
So I can grow

Technology is a beating heart
A life that has become an integral part
Of me:

I am the internet,
The apps,
The text messages
That cause collapse

I am the Google searches,
The Amazon purchases,
The single letters
That create these verses

I am the statistic you search for
Of Depression in America.
I am the sad song you play,
When you realize life is an enigma.

Im there when you lay in bed
At 3 in the morning,
And ask Google why it's been years and you still feel like youre in mourning.

I'm the quiz that you take
To test the validity of your sadness.
And the other 5 you take
As you succumb to your own madness

I'm your Facebook friend,
Sharing mental health posts,
About women your age
Writing their suicide notes.

I'm your Instagram feed
You have a smile on your face
But people never read the caption:
"This is the last post I will make"

You can get all you want with just the click of my button
Please dont buy anything that contributes to you being forgotten

You can say anything you want
Within a text
As long as I turn off auto correct,
Because when you say "I've been doing great",
You mean "I'm going to slit my neck".

I'm the to-do list app you download
To feel like your life is together
But my boxes never get checked
Because tomorrow sounds a lot better

I'm the pictures in your phone
To remind you your not alone.
I'm the memo in your technology
Where you write your suicide apologies.

I'm the alarms you never touch
That alert you to start your day.
But when you never turn me on,
Youre just skipping the foreplay.

I'm the email notifications
Spewing the benefits of *******
Because you need something to distract you
From it's negative connotations

I'm the flashlight when you need me because your lamp won't be going on.
Its already 4 in the afternoon,
your bed is now where you belong.

I'm your two way connection
When your boyfriend calls to check on you
He can hear the sadness in your voice
But doesn't know what else to do

I'm the calendar that alerts you
You have an exam next week,
I hate being your YouTube search on the best suicide techniques.

I wish you would reply to the group chat,
They want to meet you at the mall.
Now they're bad mouthing you
Because you don't seem to care at all.

Please, just turn on some music.
I promise that you can choose it
I don't like the words you're typing,
"Death" isn't better in writing

Just stop what you're doing,
And let me bring up your history.
Remember before your dad died,
You were his greatest victory?

I'm the forums and the hotlines
and the encouraging words,
That people all over the world want to be heard.

You can use me as your outlet,
but I won't be your oppression.

It's so easy for technology
To manifest as your depression.

My body split in two.
Broken without you.
What is it about love,
That, when lost, causes such intense emotion?
I think that when we lose it forever,
When we truly cannot share in that love ever again,
That is when we question...

Why we ever love at all.

Flowers don't bloom in a day.

No matter how many times you water them.

I'm salivating for happiness,






Yet, never seem to get a taste.

And as they watched the steam emit from her skin,
they awed,
as she was not tame and cold
as they once thought,
but a wild fire
that could never be
controlled or extinguished.

The worst way to fail
Is
To not try

To be a writer
Or a poet
I believe
Are the same
Whether it's stories
Or haikus
We have something to say
In a journal
Or a stanza
A screenplay
Or two
A life without writing
Is a life that won't do

It's better to know who you are not
Than who you are

Like a sandcastle built
With the ash from a flame
You're a monster inside
Masking all of your pain

Yes, you do.
It's not you.

Like the void of the world
You can't run, you can't hide
Then you promised to change
Now you're on a back slide

So, whats new?
Who are you?

The time has come
To stop twidling thumbs
And running for cover
In a battle thats won

The abuse ends here
Let me make myself clear
You are rotten and smug
You dim my light to cause fear

If we fight, i will win
If you smile, i will grin
Dont start playing these games
Cuz Im an angel that can sin

You belong in the trash
With that stick up your ***
Light a fire, its a burn
Now Im gone in a flash

Why do you always have to be in my way?
Don't you want the same thing?
Your standing in OUR way.
Always looking at the cloud above your head,
Never at the sun peering through.
You'll never be anything if you dont move.
Move away from the door,
So I can open it;
So you can be happy.
You're in your own head
Instead of your own mind.
You know what you love.
You get confused.
But you know your capabilities.
You know yourself.
You're standing on the line of fear;
Just move your feet.
Move forward.
You'll never know whats behind that door
Until you open it.
Until you walk through it.
With your heart open,
And breathe.

When you have to have it...

When there is no fork in the road, no plan B, no scenic route and no short cut

When you need it to be happy, chose it over food or money, lose something or someone for it

When it consumes you, naws at you, breaks you until you get it

That is when you will achieve your dreams

When you HAVE to have it.

When you hold me in your arms
I melt into the comfort of your
Beating heart
I am safe amongst the wild things
Scattering in the night
What else
Could make me feel
Completely vulnerable
And undeniably safe

Than Love?

Ive never felt so

lost

In a place so

transparent