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 Jul 2018 Lostwithin
july hearne
big mess
big miss
emptiness, emptiness

a big mess grows
all the places emptiness goes
can't always have a garden,
a flower garden
a  dancing kiss upon a fountain

two tiny feet standing on the fountain
two tiny feet, light as air
dancing on the fountain
where kiss on the cheek is a little unfair

i last saw you there
in pictures of what must have felt so weightless

could have been a little more gracious
not just some harmful acquaintance

sure as a black hole to fall through
moment i met you
doing nothing for you

king helpless child
my biggest miss
all the ways to my emptiness
emptiness
nowhere to go
i've been to the places emptiness goes
in this big mess that grows and grows
Neil Young Lyrics



"Flying On The Ground (Is Wrong)"

Is my world not falling down
I'm in pieces on the ground
And my eyes aren't open
And I'm standing on my knees
But if crying and holding on
And flying on the ground is wrong
Then I'm sorry to let you down,
But you're from my side of town
And I'll miss you.

Turn me up or turn me down
Turn me off or turn me round
I wish I could have
met you in a place
Where we both belong
But if crying and holding on
And flying on the ground is wrong
Then I'm sorry to let you down,
But you're from my side of town
And I'll miss you.

Sometimes I feel
like I'm just a helpless child
Sometimes I feel like a king.
But baby, since I have changed
I can't take nothing home.

City lights at a country fair
Never shine but always glare
If I'm bright enough to see you,
You're just too dark to care.
But if crying and holding on
And flying on the ground is wrong
Then I'm sorry to let you down,
But you're from my side of town
And I'll miss you.
 Jul 2018 Lostwithin
Jess
I wanna tell you
That I do think about you at night
I wanna tell you
That sometimes I really can't sleep thinking of you
I wanna tell you
All the nasty things you say to me hurt so much
I wanna tell you
You've made me cry much more than a few times
I wanna tell you
That sometimes you make me want to die with the things you say and do
I wanna tell you
When you hurt me so much that I can't sleep
I wanna tell you
That you stress me out to the point that I'm losing my hair
I wanna tell you
Not to treat me like the things you hate
I wanna tell you
I'm extremely fragile, yet strong
I wanna tell you

You're  b r e a k i n g  me

I wanna tell you
That I still love you despite that
I wanna tell you
That it's not always the ways you hurt me that keep me up
I wanna tell you

S o   m u c h

Sometimes I feel like I can't

I'm so scared to lose you

I wanna tell you
You are so immensely important to me
You are my best friend

I wanna tell you
You are caring
You are genuine
You are not alone


I wanna tell you
That all I want is to love  and be loved in return

I wanna tell you
It scares me
I wanna tell you
That I miss the happy you
I wanna tell you*
I'm so worried
unfinished
 Jul 2018 Lostwithin
She Writes
There is too much regret
In unspoken words
The quiet thoughts
Whispered only to the moon

There is too much longing
In wishful thinking
Daydreams
Can quickly become a nightmare

There are too many tears
Spilled onto pillows
Over suffering and longing
From words unsaid
 Jul 2018 Lostwithin
larissa
i don’t like to dream
because when i do
i dream of you
and you being in my dreams
will cause my head
to be full of you
and when you are in my head
i can fall asleep at night
probably thinking of you
so when your memories
flatter my conscience
my conscience
will choose you
to dream of tonight
and that maybe
in a perfect world
you dream of me too
 Jul 2018 Lostwithin
Lily
She was allergic
To pollen, but she jumped in
Flowers anyways.

She was terrified
Of thunderstorms, yet she was
A storm of her own.

She said she didn't
Know how to love, yet she loved
Him to perfection.
 Jul 2018 Lostwithin
Jess
Seems that I always came last

Didn't know how to put myself first

Took care of others to fill a void
That I couldn't place

Tried to be there
Tried to give
What I didn't really have

So I gave up myself
All of me
Everything

To others
Gave it all away

Gave everything I cherished
To those I cherished

Because happiness matters, right?

But my own happiness
I could never find

I don't think I ever had that in mind

Because I gave it to others
So they wouldn't have the void
That ate away at me

Couldn't find myself
But I never had an idea of who I was anyway

Serving the needs of others

So I didn't have to face
The lack of self
That I never gained

So I put myself on a shelf

Saved for later

And collected dust
Forgotten and left alone

For all the years that came
A love that was boundless

Never shined bright enough

So I left myself on the shelf
Hoping someone would
Return the favor

And here I am collecting dust
Left to myself once again

Lost to the world and
Lost to myself

Forgotten
Always forgotten
Always picked last
By those you picked first

A shine that was just never enough
 Jul 2018 Lostwithin
Lily
When I say, “I love you”,
I'm saying that you are beautiful, and
That no matter what you think, if you just got
Drenched in the rain or just woke up, that
You will always be the most beautiful human to me.
When I say “I love you”,
I'm saying that I want to stay with you for the rest of my life,
Grow old and gray with you,
And never, ever leave you.
When I say, “I love you”,
I'm saying that you're my most favorite person in the world,
That I want to care for you with everything I have,
And that you are first and I am second.
When I say, “I love you,”
I mean it.
Do you?
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