Lets be gentle,
slow,
loving.
Lets savor the
moment
and lose ourselves
in the way we taste
together.
Lets whisper
against our lips
as though we've
never heard
each other's voice.
Lets kiss in a way
that will bind us,
tangle us inside
a storybook.

I come here to be happy,
To find my place
And teach myself how to be
A true writer.

To me it seems
I try.
I try to speak,
Show myself,
Do what I am supposed to do here.
I am told to be myself,
There is no blending in.
And yet, it seems I have to.

No one cares. I cry
And they stare and walk past.
I had more support and reassurance
In the place where I was bullied and tormented
Daily.

And here,
Daily,
I am alone.
Cliques formed and I was, once again,
And outcast.

Sometimes I like to think to my self,
"Life will get better."
And then I realize the harsh truth.

It won't

There will be short periods of time
When life is great.
You'll get a new car,
Your significant other will propose,
You'll get promoted and make a **** ton of money.
But everyone knows that those moments will not last.

Depression will hit like a title wave and you wont eat for days.
Insomnia will cause sleep deprivation
And the purple under your eyes will
Cause people to worry if yore dying
And maybe you are: on the inside.

There will be those best of times and those worst of times
But if you have those Great Expectations,
You will get yourself nowhere.

Life is a Series of Unfortunate Events and everything
And nothing will get in your way.
And some day, As you Lay Dying
You may think that it just wasn't worth it.

And then you'll look back.
The negative things are always the most drastic until
The good things mean something more.
Remember your proposal,
Or the time you swam into the lake
And opened yourself to The Awakening.

Remember the times when everything was **** and you said,
this Pride and Prejudice is really getting to me,"
But instead of giving up,
You picked that title up and said,
"Maybe this will help. Maybe these
Tales of Mystery and Imagination
Will heal my wounded soul."

And so you....

Well, now that my life has turned from better, to worse, to the most amazing time I have ever had, I'd like to say a few things.

First off, I have nothing to say.
Second, I am happy. Don't ruin my mood.

Rumbling storms, scolding!
Why me? Tormenting my
Nostrils with something
Grotesque. I see a rotting
Corpse; she is me.

Reality shakes
And now she falls from ice clouds
Under my skin. Shivers
And small geese ****, the sickness
Consuming. I've lost the game.

Black hole, please, absorb this!
This horrible image,
This regrettable instance In which
I had lost myself to
Blindness.

Lover, Force me to look at you
And nit into the past that is
A marble statue with claws and teeth
That protrude like swords.
Tell me I can let go
Of the rotted flower petals
Covered in mold and betrayal,
They said they would stay
Beautiful!
Tell me I can rinse the slime
Of false hope from my body
And my intimacies so that
I may be pure for you.

Quicksand, drop this putrid locket
Into your depths and clog the clasp
So that no one will ever see the inside.
Obey Me!
Take my sacrifice, my past and
Everything
Corroded! Tell me
That I am able to forget
And be forgotten!

I've tried to get over being lied to.
I can't.
I've tried to get through the betrayals and blames,
I can't.
I've tried to get over that fact that I've been talked about and lied about,
But I can't.
I've tried to get past the reasons why I regret so much,
And I can't.
I've tried to get past the hypocrisy and narcissism
And I simply can't.
I've tried to get over the pain of knowing I'd wasted time
And could have had something that makes my entire life complete,
And can't.
I've tried to forget the dreams and wants I used to think were real,
But I can't.
I've tried to work my way through the conflict in my head, but I cant.
I am trying not to hate him, but I can't.

I can smell him on my sheets
      I can taste him in my dreams
             I can still feel every inch where he's touched me
I hear his laughter echoing in the walls
             I can still see him in all these pictures I saved for
           memories

But this bed is bare
My dream's a nightmare
       I can't hear
             His laughter
       He's not near
             Enough to touch
My eyes are blinded by tears
He's killed my senses,  
      I'm no longer aware

Everything around me,  slowly fading away
His face, his scent, his laughter,  his touch
Maybe I'll just pop a few pills and sleep away the day
At least he's in my nightmares, the pain of reality is too much

Vivid cultures dancing
like jellybeans in a frying pan.
Pop like a violin
flow with the rhythm of the sandstorm.
Spinach leaves sway in the depths of the ocean
like worms
hooked through one of its many stomachs
filled with plastic bottles.
****** honey bombs flavour
the ink that spills across
the landscapes.