Either love me
Or
Hate me.
Don't be two-faced.

You were long gone
before I could knew
and yet
I am still talking
to Aroma of You...

I'm mad at you
and I don't want
to be mad at you.

but at the same time,
I'm not mad enough.
I should be angrier.

there have always been
gaps in my memory,
places where my trauma
nibbled away until the
memories were useless.

you knew this.

I have spent years of
my life trying to recover,
trying to patch up
the holes in my memory.

I lost my entire childhood.
I spent all of it trying to
remember what my brain
wanted me to forget.

I have cried and hurt
and panicked and once,
I even tried to give up.

for most of my life,
I have hated myself
and harmed myself.

you knew this.

you knew how badly
this ****** up my life.

you even tried comforting me,
giving me brotherly speeches
and advice that I took to heart.

I trusted you.
for all of these years,
I have trusted you.

the memories came back.
I haven't slept in six days.
I am being slowly destroyed
by my own mind, and
I don't know how to stop it.

you were there that night.
I ran to your room and
I banged on the door
and you opened it,
and I told you everything.

you were the voice
in the bathroom with me,
helping me undress
and assessing my injuries.

you knew what happened,
and you said nothing.

I know you were young,
and I know that this has
traumatized both of us.

but you were old enough
to remember everything.

you remember the
blood stains and the
fear in my eyes and
how I barely knew what
had happened to me.

I understand why you
didn't say anything
on that night all of
those years ago,

but why didn't you
say anything when
I was older and you saw
how it shattered me?

I almost killed myself
trying to remember
what you already knew.

this is my body.
that was my trauma.
those were my memories.

you knew this whole time.
you knew everything.
you ******* knew,
and you said nothing.

why did you say nothing?
why didn't you tell me?

I just need to know.
why didn't you tell me?

why did you keep this
locked inside of your brain
while mine desperately
searched to find it?

how could you?
I trusted you.

and this whole time,
you already knew.

Wake up.
You've been asleep for too long.
You haven't seen the sunlight and experienced its warmth.

Wake up.
I want to see you living well,
doing the things that you love.

Wake up.
You still have a lot to do.
Achieve your dreams.
Give love.
Celebrate life.

Wake up!
I beg of you.

Wake up!
The world is waiting for you.
I am waiting for you.

There he was, picking up your broken pieces. He said, 'You're a beautiful mess', so he tried to solve you like a jigsaw puzzle. But along the way he got confused, randomly placing pieces where he thought they would fit.

In the end, he did make you whole. Looked whole, at leastーfor most of the pieces were just forced into spaces they didn't actually belong. Out of frustration, he turned into an impatient child, scattered you into pieces again.

Then there you were, hoping he would attempt to reassemble you. But no, he did not. Instead, he just left. Leaving you exactly like how he found youーbroken.

Until one day you realized, he couldn't fix you. He couldn't make you whole again. He couldn't, because no one couldーno one but yourself.

At last, there you were, picking up your broken pieces. It would take time putting them back together again, but that's fine. You embraced yourself and said, 'Indeed, I'm a beautiful mess'.



ーkg
"Shattered" Series

𝑨 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆,
𝑨 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅.
𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍,
𝑨 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆.

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏,
𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒖𝒑.
𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑰'𝒎 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔,
𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒎𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕.

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒖𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒚 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈,
𝑺𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓-𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒚.
𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒓𝒕,
𝑴𝒚 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒖𝒛𝒛𝒍𝒆 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆.