I once caught a sparrow, small and black, its wings shivered as I took it in,
Fed the poor little thing, stroked its breast and listened for a heartbeat,
There it was, small but strong, its pulse erratic. Scared creature,
After the day, it had recovered and was ready to fly away, as it was born to do
So, I broke my sparrow’s wings.

Now my sparrow sits in its box, its heart is small and strong,
But I don’t let it out to see the light of day for too long,
I love my sparrow, I look at it night and day,
My warm embrace, from time to time, reminds the thing that it’s mine,
I keep my sparrow in the dark

Today, my sparrow was looking as effervescent and as strong as ever,
It hopped with pride and glee and looked so lovingly at me,
So, I took it out of its box and placed it by the open window,
The wild-eyed adoration of Raa was in its eyes as it peeped at freedom,
So, I broke my sparrows wings.

My sparrow is looking a little tired and upset,
I placed it in the box without a friend or a strand of hope to live on,
I told my sparrow that I love it and that it is special,
And it believes that I love it as it loves me, but I only like it because it is black.
I keep my sparrow in the dark.

Bahamut, splinter my ribs into dust.
Carve your scripture into my scalped skullcap.
Brand me with the shame of fool-hearted lust.
Tear me limb from limb in your tangled trap.
Spit my name into the annals of Hell.

I know this loneliness
Will forever be around.
Giving me pains,
And hurting my wounds.
.
I know this loneliness
Will never leave me.
It will torture my soul
And will break me.

My stronger warrior soul is confused and lost
Longing to be free from the visit of unpleasant thoughts
For five years, I was a wanderer between the glorious light and the evil of darkness
Which  seldom renders me adrift but often empty  and frightened
I would only try to dismiss the spell, the fight
Then battle to find my soul and to restore my heart
At length, amidst these giant storms and misery
Never would my tongue reveal my real unutterable agony
But the memories of the past became too haunting, more violent
And now I’m at the edge of the dark and eternal uncertainty
For sometime, I continued to believe that the nightmare was gone
That my visions were blessed with joy, and my dreams were untroubled
Suddenly, I awoke with the same frightful dream as before
The devil visited me again in my hours of sleep
Where did he get his powers and permission to torture me?
I contemplated one more time and realized
I understood why I dread my dreary destiny
I have not completely forgiven the devil for what he has done to me
So now to release myself from the chain of pain
and suffering
I’m breaking free from the sweet revenge I daily seek
As I command my wings to flee from hell and whisper my forgiveness
I heard a hymn from my  guardian angel’s melodic voice
A wonderful prayer for my deliverance

A soft, gentle warmth
A touch of pillowy, overly perfumed femininity
Suffocating me into serenity

Quick, slender fingers
Bandaging my every move
Warning me against standing in the rain
And quick fingers slipped under my skin

Small, frail waist
Brushes against me as we dance
And I am pulled closer reluctantly
Into estrogen and ecstasy

Full, colorful lips
That would drive anyone else crazy
But they just seem to spit the most horrid things ever said
And they seem to sentence me
(Under the blissful vow of marriage)
To a life of torture and conviction
Underneath a piercing gaze...          




    I would rather die.
  
                


              “You may now kiss the bride.”

Your words are like an arsenic drip
  slowly destroying me from the inside

Some people like being *******.
Being ******* scarred me.
Being ******* unable to stop the torture, was disturbing.
Some people will never understand this torture.

He said it was the goodbye to our relationship.
This was a goodbye no one wants.
People thought it was consensual with the marks on my neck.
They were wrong this wasn't consensual, it took my self esteem.

The ties were broken after that night.
When the ties were broken, he didn't like that.
He made different media accounts under different names to see me.
I'm proud to say I survived the ties but not many do.

Amidst the twelfth hour
When I shut my eyes
It is always you I see
Very still before me
Overwhelmed by your intriguing beauty
Distressed by your magnetic glow
Invariably my old wounds slash wide
As my sullen moods follow
I freeze at the yells
Of the sacrificed ones
And helpless witness them flood
Your antic temples
With innocent blood
Like the spinning moth
In the merciless light
The stage is set
For my untimely death
Have you drawn closer
Or is it me
Pray hurry
Torture afresh till dawn
Your victim’s ready
I won’t cry I won’t flee
Of a perfect lover and slayer
Oh Venus I swear
I could never have dreamt
Of none other than thee!