i waited for you
on the dark side of
the front porch

pinching the filter
of my cigarette
between my teeth

as the smoke
leaked from
beneath my tongue

Are you happy with yourself,
              When you jot down lies?

Do you smile as your forked tongue,
               Contorts itself putting pen to paper?

Does your reflection haunt you,
                Or are you used to that monster staring back?

Do you fear that once all your sin spills out,
                You will have nothing left to offer?

I have never stuttered in pen
misspoken in ink
or choked in my writing
the way I do
whenever I speak
my fingertips always know
the right words to say
my tongue is still learning

It haunts me,
The presence of her absence
her voice, only exists in one place
and that place, is my mind,
a place of noise
Her smile, engraved in my mind
she cannot speak anymore,
for she has a tongue, but no voice
she cannot show herself
for she has a body, but no life
she is not here anymore
but her soul lingers on
the crusts of this home
and on the crusts of my heart

- Kaya

Whether one would wish well,
Well wishing with water,
When writing wrong words,
Would weaken another,
I sadly suggest,
A short sentence sees sun,
Sometimes silly sounds,
Start slowly with one.

Blah, I just want to eat your brain
and experience
what's it like to think with
your thoughts
feel with your feelings
and see with your sight

Grrr, I want to kiss with your tongue
and feel hers, warm and ***** flavored
with a hint of cranberry
Yum, I can already taste it baby

Breathes, I want to exhale
smoke with your lungs
tinted and abused,
over used yet they never
refused working

******, I want to grab her waist
with your arms
and slide them down to her hip bones
and sway her with those beats
that she loves so freaking much

Oh, I want to mess her hair
with your fingers and feel every strand
as it leaves the tips of them
magically numb

Gahd, I want to see through your eyes
and paint my very own masterpiece of her
see what you see, and see it well
"Hey", I want to vocalize
all that's in my mind
and lull her to my arms

With each thought comes disaster, a living corpse hung high
Oxymorons and illegitimate thoughts, broken voices
Tomorrow is the future but another days past
When it all ends there will only be dust
Rumbling pixie dust from nonexistent faeries
It's time to pull the batteries out of the controller
Auto pilot feels so good
Like tomorrow won't happen, never said those words
Just like that, stand still, stand tall
Eat your words as they leave, rot through your gums
Hang men with the melody that leaves your notes
Only then beg for solid thoughts, for one line
To end the thinking
Intoxication is so cruel, it let's me forgive my own tongue
How scornful

You can't tell me I'll be better
When you've never felt how I do
When you've never held the world in your hands
Only to drop it, watching in slow motion
As it shatters on the ground
And you feel your stomach drop
And you heart stops beating
How do I go on?
How do I pretend I'm okay
When in reality I cry
Just thinking about everything that went wrong
And how do I go on when
Your memory haunts me still
And I cry myself to sleep at night
As your name slips off my tongue
I yearn to cut it off but
Everyone says I'll taste another
What if I don't like my tastebuds anymore?
I can feel my throat swelling shut
But I do not panic
I sit as I let the reaction take over me
And you wonder why I couldn't just move on
Because you didn't realize the pain
I put myself in
In the first place.
My words taste bitter on my tongue
How I wish to cut it off.