The green and the gold
Worth more than you are ever told
But you're not so bold

Just got called trash, but let me tell you something...
...after real **** goes down,
Trash don't belong on the floor

Someone told me once
That depression was
Overwhelming sadness

I know now
That depression is
Feeling nothing at all

Someone told me once
That life was
What I made it

I know now
That life is
Whatever it feels like being

Someone told me once
That love was
Just a feeling

I know now
That love is
Terrifyingly unconditional

Someone told me once
That you were
But a man

I know now
That you are
But a man with wings

Someone told me once
But I know now

A young boy once asked me, "Does it hurt to fall in love, because whenever I fall I get hurt?" Now I didn't know how to reply to the young boy whose heart was one beat away from despair so I told him this: Be prepared for the outcome no matter what it may be. Be prepared for the consequences. Be prepared for the late nights. Be prepared to hate someone that you can't help but fall in love with every time they walk into the room. Don't be afraid to give them you're ribs; They just want to make a clearer path to your heart. Don't be afraid of losing yourself, for they know exactly where you came from and they know exactly where you are going. You see, when I was a kid, I was not prepared for heart break. There was no worksheet on how to get over an ex girlfriend. There was no puzzle teaching us how to put together the pieces of our shattered pasts. I told him that love is like a drug. Some of us are strong enough to quit while others hope for one last hit even if every spike is killing them. So I told him this: Love is reckless. So be careful with the crack of a pretty smile while walking down the sidewalk we call every day life... you wouldn't want to trip.

-a.m.

Nobody told me
That disappointment was your body.
Nobody told me
That hope was something I shouldn't waste on you.
Nobody told me
That blood was a synonym for your name.
And nobody told me
How I should love you
or how I shouldn't,
But then again,
Nobody told me
That you are just like me;

Pushing people away
The second they ask for some
Honesty.

Nobody told me
That I needed to love myself
Before I could ever love you

Nobody told me
That you're the reason
I'm disappointed in every person
I've ever met after you.

You're the reason
Nobody told me.
Because no one told you.

They tell you there's a light at the end of the road
They tell you there's a life for all those they've told

They told me I'd be alright, all I had to do was breathe
But I've been breathing since the day I was born
And I can tell you it hasn't kept me "fine"

They tell you I'm crazy,
They tell you I'm lazy,
but what they don't tell you is how I struggle to get out of bed
what they don't tell you is how close to death I've been
what they don't tell you is how strong I am.

They told me it happens all the time,
they told me soon the sun will shine
they told me many things that were all lies.
What they didn't tell me was that I was crazy,
that I was lazy,
Because what they told me was I would be fine.

But all they've done is make me crazy,
make me mad and desperate for relief from shame
shame that I shouldn't have for needing help
shame that I shouldn't have for bleeding out
shame that I shouldn't have for opening up
but it is a shame that I bear
because they told you I was crazy
and they told you I was shady.

I'm just me. And I'm having trouble being that today.
So please don't tell me that I'm crazy,
because I'm actually quite nice
I'm actually quite fun.
If you'd bothered to get to know me
you would have known all this stuff.
But you didn't.
Because you believed them when they told you I was crazy.

Encountered by chance,
seeking out the thrill,
Stepping over ideas,
swallowing the pill.

Piercing the hourglass,
the sands of time are sold.
No turning back,
there is a story to be told.

You told me you were glad
I had taken a chance on you
You told you would love
To have me at your house
You told me to feel free
To stay as long as I wanted
You told me I could be your friend
Only if you could be mine
You told me you would be there
Whenever I needed someone to talk to
***** data roaming
You told me to shout really loudly
If I could not reach you another way
You told me I wasn't a fool but if I was
I was your kind of fool
You told me you couldn't believe I couldn't dance
Because we were the best dancing partners
You told me that if you brought the best in me
Then the best was pretty ****** amazing
You told me it was hard being us
Always so awesome
You told me you liked having me there
In the same bed as you
You told me the both of us
Made a pretty good team
You told me you did not intend on stopping
Talking to me, laughing with me
You told me you would teach me anything
How to cuddle and whatever I wanted
You told me you would take me to the beach
Because I had not yet been
You told me you would take me to do something fun
Whenever I would get some free time
You told me we made a great team…
… Unless we were playing Monopoly
You told me you would come and try the cheese nan
If I came and tried your fondue
You told me you liked staying up
Just so you could talk to me
You told me you were glad you took the ferry
To meet me a universe away
You told me we would make a perfect team
I could be the olive skinned French beauty, and you the eternal white Englishman
You told me I was too lovely
You told me you would come and get me
Even if you had to walk to get to me
You told me you wanted to go to Venice
And asked me if I wanted to join you.

You told me so many beautiful things and for that I am so grateful
You made me smile so many times
You made me happy every day
For a while
Then you forgot I was alive but I still have the memories of us
In my mind, next to the could have been drawer
Where all the things we could have done, could have been,
Lay still in silence.
You told me so many beautiful things and I
Believed them all.
You made me believe I could fall again.
You broke my heart but you made me believe,
And for the next one who will come along
I will open my heart wide open
Because you made me believe I could,
Maybe,
Love again.

Lies, bruises, insults right to my face
I thought our love was worth it
Until somebody told me
That the people who hurt you
Couldn't have loved you.


F.Z.N

Everybody does it.

I could never dream
Without wondering what someone else was dreaming.

I cannot speak
Without hesitating at another's thoughts.

You ask me what I'm afraid of.
Maybe it is
Bullies,
Offenders,
Liars.
Maybe I'm afraid I'm seen that way.
Maybe I'm afraid of what they say,
What they'll do,
What it will mean.
As to my fears escalating,
I'm more convinced
The world is a better place when I hide in my room.
Their opinions will change the world.
I don't want to be changed.
I don't want to be told
Or to be scoffed at.

I fear
         Judgment.