I thought of how much time it's been since i first realized you were special.
I don't remember the moment i first loved you;There were so many times.
I don't remember the moment i first felt a crack;There were so many times as well.
I remember the feelings;the agony,the pain,the joy,the passion;All of them.
Love is prideless,love is mirthless.
My heart was a ******* for cherishing what was bad for her,and i was a saddist for letting her do as she pleased.
Each time was different and each time was the same;
You talked and talked,thinking i would never mind
And i closed my mouth and gulped my feelings,because i would never try.
Such is the fate i chose.

I should've loved a tree,
Strong, tall and fierce,
Roaring through me,
(But I had to love you.)

The tree and I could make a pact,
To lay together awake,
(But I had to lay with you.)

To love the sky would be a thrill,
Grey, blue, black, yellow, pink, red,
You were like a cloud,
(But I loved the clouds too.)

I tried to love a bottle,
To tip liquid on it till it swam,
Bitter sweet on my tongue,
(But you tasted better.)

Maybe I'll love the sea,
Cool and dark and swirling in mystery,
(And I'll love the waves forever.)

Have we forgotten how to love?
Or worse, forgotten what love is?
Maybe it's not love we're looking for.
Maybe we only look for the excitement and thrill in life.
We want someone to watch movies with.
We want the limited and will spout off about endings.
Have we ever thought that maybe, just maybe, we just want to spend time together but don't make memories at all?

when is it crossing the line?
when I am in front of it all
laid out on the table
seeking a potent euphoria
constantly wondering if I have done enough
but it is never fulfilling
on a search for a meaning in this mess
yet never finding one
there's always suspense
wondering if I am secure
the thrill is so intriguing
and too hard to give up

The sweet taste of hope
The spicy taste of thrill
The bitter taste of reject
The sour taste of neglect

You learn to love the taste of bile
Everything comes up
But you keep it in
Everytime. The pain almost hurts more

Swallow.
Swallow
Swallow.
You learn to hate the taste of blood

Tongue in pieces
Soul is shattered
You can't find the words for how
empty & small
You've always felt inside

So you shape. The physical
To become the emotional

Maybe you'll find the words if you can visualize

Maybe if I see
I can understand
why
I feel so
Impractical & Frail
inside