Such a con man convincing me that I was so beautiful, his saving grace,
With his hands, he painted my face,
With make-up I would have to retrace,
I would dress pretty just for him,
I kept my body fit and trim,
Though for real, I didn't know it was a messed up,
I tried to be his best partner, his loving wife.
Shocked and and scared every time,
like it was something new, that just began,
He'd beg my forgiveness again & again,
how I always forgave, forgetting all the prior distress,
just to continue day after day.

Pulling my hair, using your fist to paint my lips the color of crimson red, fearing each time I'd die.
It even happened when you weren't full of whiskey,
I'd have moments of reality,
knowing I had to get out for my babies,
You had everyone convinced you were innocent,
I was the one that suffered your vengeance,
like an illusion, everyone took your side,
they all believed every time you lied.

I have no more shame, no more fear,
I don't have to pretend because I'm no longer your possession for abuse.
How do you feel now tough guy, knowing I'm free?
How does it feel every time you look up high,
Knowing I'm a shining light in the sky,
You probably don't feel nothing at all,
your just a parasite who is the devils delight,
You look so pathetic and small when I look down from heaven each and every night.
Be careful because for you, it's still a hard fall on the way down.
You're out of luck because I'm out of that box.
The last night I was scared to close my eyes was the last time that I closed them once and for all.
~SacredInkedBlood

oh, the wind
           it knocks now on
         my sliding glass door
     the same door that causes me to lay awake at night
         the knocking, i don't like it
                                     no, not one bit

is it the wind?
           or is he back?                               has he found me?
                                          is he going to hurt me again?

          i                  the
                 fear        
                                        wind

This morning,
I’ve shed the heaviest tear
after twenty-one years
of deadly silence

It rained today
And I thought of you.
The flashbacks came
Again.
Your voice
Like the thunder.
Your rage
Was the lightning
It rained today
And I forgot about you.
Washed away
And clean.
Like the sidewalk
After the storm is gone.

I know the lingerie is meant to be taken off, but
my nakedness makes my eyes dart quick and
count every hair on my skin.
picking scabs turns into scars that
I have yet to tell you about.
without permission, I close my eyes
as you love me in the dark and
I wonder if you’re counting too.

I could never own a gun,
I'm too much of a risk for that.

you dimmed the lights
closed your eyes
and so did i.

still felt the weight
and all the pain
when you left marks on my thighs.

i just laid there
weren’t you aware
that i didn’t want to die?

though out of sight
out of mind
you heard me cry.