I may never forget that night that you took what was not yours
But I must thank you in some odd way,
For you showed me who was there for me and who was not when I was at my lowest.
And I have found that cutting toxicity out of my life was necessary.
For if they cannot be there for me when I am  broken, they cannot be there at my peak.

She asked for help,
But nobody was willing to believe her
Society told her to shut up and deal with it
Society stole her voice and hoped she would be compliant
But she is a warrior,
And her voice unwavering

It let go.
I struggled out of its pale, bony fingers...
I doubted and contemplated other means of escape, but I kept fighting,
Never giving up.
***** fingernails, bitten raw,
Was what I saw when it grabbed me in the hallways many years ago.
But I never stopped trying to break free.
Never.
I scratched, kicked, and screamed!
I scratched and hit,
And the blood of the hands just poured   Down,
Down,
Down,
Red thick blood.
And it laughed. It laughed in my face.
When this happens, don’t be startled or scared. Don’t give up.
Because when it laughs, it’s in pain. And
Finally,
Finally,
Finally,
It let go.
A month ago, maybe two.
Maybe yesterday or tomorrow,..
I stopped keeping track.
But I’ve finally been able to smile
Without the sadness holding onto me.
You’ll get there too.

I lost myself at age 7.
I crawled into bed and then disappeared.
my childhood behind me—
erased.
set on fire.
all it took was one touch for it all to burn down.
no more trust.
no more love.
no more innocence.
gone.

You choosing not to stay
made me find my way

You're quite the trickster,
With tall pair of gin and tonic.

Shall we dance a set or two,
Before you assail me
In the dark, with objects
Stowed away in your
Glove compartment?

I promise to walk into walls,
Become pliable in your arms.

You even have my word,
I'll lose control of all
My faculties right about
The time you begin ******* me.

And I will wake up
In the morning,
With no memory
And no underwear.

You can then move
Carefree, on to your
Next hapless victim.

While I merrily go about
My day in the numbed womb's
Afterbirth of that last sentence.

Forever to ***** at
Flesh and membrane.

Sincerely quiet,
Candace

Watch the wild winds of a whipsy whim
Courage
Cure for the caged coward covering care
Valor
Value validates the victim of violence
Patience
Paint pride in the presence of perturbed people

I rid myself
of every shard,
every little piece
that reminds me of
you.
Knowing
one day;
there will be a me
put back together.
complete
and whole.
a me,
you have
never
touched before.

They tell me the war is won, that I was some kind of chosen one.
I do not feel like the victor.
There lies this inescapable feeling, a hollow ache inside.
The pills were tough, but I have felt worse.
Beams fired towards me as I lay beneath, as my heart gently beats.
I lost no hair.
I lost no weight.
My face and skin stay clear of grate.
Children, Elders, families, they all gambled with  surgeries fate.
What makes me different?
Why do I remain so free?
Why does this victory seem so empty to me?
That little girl who wheeled on by, why was she the failure compared to I?
My heart weighs with guilt for winning a war I did not even feel.
Every week.
Every day.
Every minute.
Why did it have to be me, crossing the lonely line back into reality?
It should have been Jeana, Stephan, Jamie...
It could have been anyone.
Anyone but me.