All the escape routes I found were dead ends
I hate when everyone around me just pretends

Ever wondered if life's worth living?
Got scared every time you thought of ending it?
Will the parents & gods ever be forgiving?
Trust me it’s not that easy to quit!

How do we end the suffering?
How long should we bear the suffering?

The only one way to end the suffering is to suffer
if you choose a different path, it’ll just get tougher.

Their life must be more colorful with their life's complementary, not might be.
but they do not have rights to seek nor control what is mine.
I know that at the moment im doing the best for myself in my own perspective, but not may be the best in theirs.

It is not easy to get out from comfort zone, i said.
Once i tried it, i just regret it.
Regret what i have done.
Im afraid, what's done, done again.

I disgusted with all of this happened.
But yeah again, this is mine.
Not yours.
I got mine, take yours.

I might be the foolest person in this eternity.
And yeah, just me.

we become our surroundings
the outer world tries to mold us into soulless creatures
shaping us into the next generation of disease,
blind to the fact that we are destroying cultures
like its the next big thing
lately, im starting to realize
im the wrong piece to this puzzle
i do not fit, i am the black sheep
fallen off of the never ending cycle

in order to change we must first change ourselves
the one bright star must shine its light onto the others
so that they may discover
there is more than hate out in this world.

the question is time
the question is when
the question is how

to break our habits
pushed onto our neighbors
searching for a cure
in this reckless place on earth
will we ever find the answer before were kicked
in the dirt?

I returned back to the same home I used to know,
Oh boy, it feels familiar but I'm not so sure if it's good thing.
My first few steps back inside I heard some creaks on the floor in a silent room filled with dust on some brand new furniture
I mean, how is that even possible?
I take a few steps forward as the door behind me closes..
"is this the right choice?"
Pictures on the frames take so little amount of space in the house but somehow they constantly remind me of the past..
Of what this house used to be.
So I tore them off.
I tore them all off the walls so that all you can see is the clear empty walls, looking cleaner and more innocent with a hole where the nail used to be.
I'm not sure if it even looks better.
But I shoved the frames in a box, beneath my bed..
So why is it every time I take a stroll in the house it smells the same, and every time I sleep at night, I feel something hiding under my bed..
I mean, let's be more direct.
You were my home.
But I don't know who you even are anymore...
Cause every time I want to smile, I hear the picture frames knocking on my door, telling me I shouldn't.
Every time I think of coming home, I stop by every store just to make sure I have all the different frames so I can hide that nasty hole on the wall that the nail left behind..
But every time I did that, I couldn't tell if I was redesigning my home or lying to myself.
Tell me, what makes this one so different?
Is it a even a second chance.. or the seventh chance?
The ghosts of you don't creep behind me, it's the knives on my back and I can't tell..
Tell me, are they still there?
Or am I reminiscing about the past, feeling on the scars that I can't see, hoping one day I'm able to study every curve and every mark of where I went wrong that caused me to carry them for the rest of my life..
I mean tell me, because if I can't trace my steps back to the time I've twisted the door **** and walked right in without studying the room or listening to these same empty walls.. would I still be alive?
Or would you have killed me with the same knives that's already deeply rooted into my spine..
you say you love me but it sounds the same.
****! That ******* knocking is getting louder, it won't leave me alone.