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Mina Feb 2018
your face seems so calm
as if
you know
whats going to happen next
"i dare you"
i say and smile
"what else"
you ask
as you put the little figure down
and suddenly
"checkmate"

i am aware of the loss
yet
i am still hoping
"i won"
"i know"
i say
"what are you waiting for then"
"i dont know"
i say
my eyes burn
i try to fight back those tears
traitors
"i won"
you say
"i won"
again

i shake my head
"i dont care"
"but i won"
"lets play one more time"
i beg

i never beg

you look confused but do not refuse
"another one"
i position my king
you position yours
"what if you lose"
you look at me
gently
"then i lost"
i position my queen
you position yours
"the queen is indeed the mightiest of all"
i say
as i do the opening move

you put on your pokerface
i dont bother putting mine on
"your turn"
"this leads to nothing"
you say
you see it
dont you

you
are
losing

the game goes on
"this leads to nothing"
you say
again
I crack a smile
my fingers set the next move
this is your end

you stare at me
i grin
your face filled with
pain

"checkmate"
you say





maybe you really suffered more
even when you won
Rod E Kok Feb 2018
An axe was put to a tree;
a sharpened tool cut,
causing pain.
Causing pain.

Blow by blow, that tree shuddered;
what once was solid and strong
became fragile.
The tree no longer had confidence
in being able to stand
straight and tall.
Too much damage
had been done.

I wish my hand
had never gripped
that axe of destruction.
I long for the tree
to be whole again.
I weep for what I have wrought;
my tears are not enough
to replenish the strength
of that beautiful tree
I caused to suffer.
I returned back to the same home I used to know,
Oh boy, it feels familiar but I'm not so sure if it's good thing.
My first few steps back inside I heard some creaks on the floor in a silent room filled with dust on some brand new furniture
I mean, how is that even possible?
I take a few steps forward as the door behind me closes..
"is this the right choice?"
Pictures on the frames take so little amount of space in the house but somehow they constantly remind me of the past..
Of what this house used to be.
So I tore them off.
I tore them all off the walls so that all you can see is the clear empty walls, looking cleaner and more innocent with a hole where the nail used to be.
I'm not sure if it even looks better.
But I shoved the frames in a box, beneath my bed..
So why is it every time I take a stroll in the house it smells the same, and every time I sleep at night, I feel something hiding under my bed..
I mean, let's be more direct.
You were my home.
But I don't know who you even are anymore...
Cause every time I want to smile, I hear the picture frames knocking on my door, telling me I shouldn't.
Every time I think of coming home, I stop by every store just to make sure I have all the different frames so I can hide that nasty hole on the wall that the nail left behind..
But every time I did that, I couldn't tell if I was redesigning my home or lying to myself.
Tell me, what makes this one so different?
Is it a even a second chance.. or the seventh chance?
The ghosts of you don't creep behind me, it's the knives on my back and I can't tell..
Tell me, are they still there?
Or am I reminiscing about the past, feeling on the scars that I can't see, hoping one day I'm able to study every curve and every mark of where I went wrong that caused me to carry them for the rest of my life..
I mean tell me, because if I can't trace my steps back to the time I've twisted the door **** and walked right in without studying the room or listening to these same empty walls.. would I still be alive?
Or would you have killed me with the same knives that's already deeply rooted into my spine..
you say you love me but it sounds the same.
****! That ******* knocking is getting louder, it won't leave me alone.
Sometimes, we don't learn our lessons.
Tkpoet Feb 2018
Alone soldier on the battlefield
The dark was overcoming heart
That wound can't easily heal
This hand need someone
A light when there is no one
Hard to erase this empty rage

Eyes on the mirror with some tears
It's hard to keep yourself tranquil
Time will guide you to face yours fears
Look forward
Ignore those blind horde
This stone is yours

Manage to get some sleep
You are already failed to keep
Death is enough
To make you tough
How would someone like to dive away
From my dark side
Nayana Nair Feb 2018
I can’t hear your sighs

while you think I do not care enough.

I would love to bind myself and my life

around you,

Had I not been so sure

that freedom is the only measure of happiness for me.



The love they talk about

is not in my heart.

I can’t harbor such sweetness.

I can’t live in surrender.

I was not made for that.

My heart was made to be loved,

but to be cherished.

I won’t settle for anything less.

I do not ask for anything more.



My idea of love was never

the protection or sense of safety I always lacked.

Or admiration true or false

that could put to sleep the complexes I have.

Or to be touched in ways

that make human hearts race.



My idea of love was

to be so precious to someone

that they you never

change me or break me.



You changed me.

You broke me.

And I only remember the sighs you took while doing so.

Making me feel less than what I am.



But still, I breathe the same air as you,

Cause,

Once,

You almost loved me.
Evelyn Genao Feb 2018
“Why must I suffer from this pain?”
Is your constant question, that remains unanswered.

No.
Don’t cry, not in front of them, please just fight back the tears.
Please, just don’t let them see you cry.
They don’t know what it’s like.
How difficult it is to get out of bed and act happy for the day when all you want to do is breakdown in tears.
You’re afraid because you know you can’t fight forever.
Maybe you’re just not meant to live a happy life.
Maybe pain is all you’ll ever know.
You’re so broken.
Mentally and emotionally.
Literally and metaphorically.
This is so much more than being sad now.
This is affecting your whole body.  
What happened?
This just part one. I hope you like it.
Allena Iris Feb 2018
I want the night to stay its night
Stay its blackness and dimness
I want the night to drop its curtain
To cover all the realm
Where humans roar louder than beasts
And do more murders than tigers
I want no day come into light
For hunters can see the clearest
And blood looks the reddest
Let the black sweep things down
From the dreadful streets to the peaceful forests
The world of fear doesn't deserve the light
'Cause darkness is sweeter than nightmare
A poem for the cruel and wicked world
Yanamari Jan 2018
Many times do I deny
The reasons why
I feel the pain that I do,
Vying to forget
And cause myself
To suffer ever longer.

But I can only try to
Run away
As I know that these feelings
Will only fray
As they are left
Unobservable by you.

How do I know?
I don't.
But you never saw these feelings
Even though you knew.

And if I were to wait for
Your gaze to fall upon
My stranded feelings
It would be too late.

So that's why I ran away,
Even if my heart is forever stranded,
It'd be easier to forget your smile,
Your voice,
And your soul
And avoid wasting away the
Little strength I have left.
JR Jan 2018
Empty doesn't describe it. Pain doesn't describe it. I can only put it as suffering. Forced to continue existing. I don't know why I'm here anymore. I don't feel like I have a purpose anywhere. I don't fit in anywhere. I don't want to fit in. I don't want to accept anyone so I wear a mask. I wear it so well I even believe myself sometimes.
But in the back of my mind, I know all my pleasure is fake. The closest I've been to happy is when I live it through my family or friends. And since I can't experience that day to day, I realize I haven't felt joy since.
I'm not a good lover. I'm not a good brother. I'm not a good friend. I'm not serving any purpose. I hate my occupation. I hate my environment. I hate being expected to perform when all I want to do is suffer in the shadows.
I have no goals, I have no dreams, and I have no talent or skill. I'm just a pawn in the game of life. I take the route that lets me in but leads to nowhere. I live a life others have before. A life others have lived. One that they gave purpose to. Something I failed to do. Something I know I won't get the opportunity to.
I hate everything and yet don't care. My insignificant role in this world is made even more insignificant everyday. I feel as if I'm walking with a countdown over my head that everyone can see but me. Something that informs them I am only temporary.
I know if I left, no one would grieve. No one would understand and therefore not care to understand. I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to make others happy. I wanted to see my lover smile and laugh.
The world doesn't need me and I know it. I don't want to believe it but I know it. I'm just a trashcan for people to throw clutter into. A shredder that takes it all and turns it into nothing. Everything thrown at me comes out meaning nothing in the end. I'm a catalyst used for making nothing happen.
If i fail as a positive contribution, then why bother. I will continue clinging to the nothingness I feel. It is all I know. It is all I will ever know.

This is contentment.
Another poem from a rough time in my life
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