I wish I had some melancholy memory
Of a romance, long since passed
When a sad song comes on
Talking about the way things used to be
My brain goes blank

The memory of being madly in love
Should evoke something sweet like soda
Every particle, touched and tickled
Just cold enough
A bite, on the lip
Enticing the next sip
Feels like drugs, all the way down
Pulling away, pursed and sticky, you know youll remember
The way that pop popped you way back when
And a thirst for it started
Everything goes better with a cola
A cigarette, sickening and deep, made fresh by that sugar
Whisky, rusty and virile, turned young and naive with that fizz
A good meal, made decadent, with a lick and twist of bubbles

It should, but it doesnt
All I seem to recall
Is feeling as each and every bud on my tongue
Where the seed of your taste was firmly planted
Is scorched
Cindered
Conflagrated
Charred
So the only taste is ash

I remember distinctly the three times I was severely burned
One, I was making cup noodles
Two, I was making food for your trifflin ***
Three, when you made me tell myself that you dont love me anymore

So when a sad love song comes on
Instead of that sparky, stingy, sugary stuff
I get that fructose, sucrose, glucose, rhymes with gross, kinda ****
I learned all too late, that **** like that, is the single worst thing you can put in your body

So whenever I crave to recall
The taste of bittersweet memories
Whispered to me through the turn of a cap
I just think to myself
Soda is ****, water is bliss

There's something in the water
making everyone a fool,
reading doorsigns that say "push"
and yet, they still are trying to pull.

you must think i'm stupid, huh?
i saw you for what you were,
yet still i went for the ****.
but the joke was on me.
you were the gasoline and i was
the match.
the flames you emitted engulfed me.
i never had the chance of coming out alive,
and you knew that.
you devoured me whole.
i ignited you, but you burnt me.
if only you hadn't smoldered me with your deadly charm.

{d.f. - 09/02/17}

when i started feel a little happy,
the demons inside me started
make me mess things up.

and here i am again,
feeling more unhappy.

This plague is disastrous...
No casualties quite yet,
But my skin does bubble,
And my soul itches constantly.

I'm sure you're somewhere,
Doing something with someone,
Letting me drop so far
Into your unvisited archives.

Back with the forceps,
And your grand confusion,
Of who or what you thought
You needed to be.

The cough has calmed,
Dreams grow a little strange,
I think of you only once in a while,
But you still are my plague.

when i fall,
i don't just fall in love.
clumsily, i stumble
down and then i land

awkwardly and graceless,
stuttering utterly at the foot
of a handsome man,

blundering an apology
out of breath, ineptly
embarrassed about
my shaky hands,

clambering
to dust myself off,
all the while, i try,
desperately, to stand

wishing i could disappear,
i rise as quickly as i can
waving off any helping hand

so he doesn't see
how incredibly stupid
i must be