She told me,
To think about leaving,
About grieving.

I didn't want to think,
But she needed it,
Although I knew my answer,
She needed it.

She cried,
Bawling on the phone that night,
All I could do was think,
Think about how it would be,
If it wasn't you and me.

It would be bad,
Something I didn't want,
This is the best for me,
Please stay babe.

Nothing is a scary,
As hanging on the brink,
When you can't tell if the rope is fraying.

After leaving I thought I knew it all,
and that’s the worst part.
Because all I ever wanted was silence
but now the silence pierces
like a dart.
And I thought I was strong to walk away
from ruins- but tell me,
does it take more strength
to walk or build, in all honesty?
And all the words I chanted to my heart
are the opposite of what I now croak
from the bottom of an empty bottle,
from the hollow of my soul,
from the redness of my eyes,
from the fullness of my mind
and every ounce of my wit
now only proclaims,
you made me a hypocrite.

hypocrite | shevaun stonem

Staying up late til the light comes back
My mind’s on **** I should’ve kept in the past
I wish my mind and eyes could finally match
My brain feels dark, wish my sight was black

When I try to hold on to a lovely present
its gift disappears.

People talk about near-death experiences
and I feel like me almost staying with you was one.

Like me settling, saying 'fine, this is fine'
whilst my heart cried for more,
that was definitely one.

And it feels like I've just made it out alive,
my heart bleeding, my mind a mess
and my arms so tired from carrying you
but still, I made it.

Dating you always seemed like we were holding hands at first.
Tightly gripped and firm.
Then you started to loosen your grip and I held mine in place.
Still tightly gripped and firm.
Over time...your hand started slipping from mine and I still held on.
Until that night...when you finally yanked your hand away from mine.

Now I hold my own hand...in a fist.
Tightly gripped and firm.

Waiting to punch you in the throat.

I'm camping inside, I swear
The outside is such a mess everywhere
Wild creatures with guns and strict order
Supplies won't last; this will get much harder
I need to go out to refreshen and restock
But the world outside doesn't need the flock
It is peaceful, clean, ******* heaven without us
Once this is over, we'll ruin it by creating a messy fuzz
Maybe it isn't that bad to stay here instead of anywhere
I'll stay here even after this is over, I swear