Chasing a score
looking for more
poor sucker
looking for love in a drug called time
tick tock goes the clock
egos drop, hearts melt
as she played the cards she was dealt
scars on her body from tight belts
looking for veins to hide her pain
needle in, needle out as she inhales in hell
deep breath lungs pop, low air she don't care  
feeling low to get high
getting high with an emotion called love
to only find out that it never existed in others or drugs  
feeling betrayed, her wrist she slayed
wanting a quick exit
only to end up committing accidents
failing at life and failing at death
feeling worthless, hurt, depressed and more stressed  
living with pain drove her insane
asylums kicking her out, nobody could figure her out
deep emotions she started spitting out
a victim of time and love, confused and abused
all this because she was chasing a score

My eyes has been
wide open all night
like a corpse’s eyes

Would you come and
gently close them for
me so I can finally sleep?

just hit my second decade
will it be my last?

are the questions
I ask in uni
worth the breath
I waste on it?

the papers I write,
the presentations I complete,
is anything worth it?

no one knows

do not read the news
just do not
do it;
media hypes
the worst of it all
in hopes that we'll become
Paralyzed

school is cancelled
children cheer
while families fear for the
Future

To the nights
When thoughts become to loud
Making me loose my sleep
Thinking why is it has to be this way
From thinking why it had to be that way

To the nights
When I am too numb to even fall asleep
When I can't even feel my heartbeat
From these thoughts taking over me
To the moment when I can't breath

To the nights
From wanting this feeling to last forever
To end this by all means
From screaming till I can't breath
But deciding to stay silent till i suffer in deep.

To the nights
When I cry till I fall asleep
To staring at the ceiling till the night leaves
From rembering every mistake
To rembering why everyone who left without saying goodbye.

To the nights
When I wish I could just die
To wanting to have this feeling till it takes over me
From thinking about every person who left me
To realising how I lost myself along the way.

To the nights
With scattering thoughts.

what the hell does valentine's day means
when you lay awake at 1 am
anxiety's got your left hand
memories has got your right

and she has your whole heart

and you're not in control of it all

what the **** does it mean?