Today I can call you and say
Today I am delicate but you know
what I need
you to forgive me
Either this or forgive me
Let me tell you of the marks
left and hours
against its bars
Bursting into tears
Is a favourite nightmare
It hurts to discover she is not in the wind
as much as I felt her in the sound of thrashing palms.
Our hands rest lightly on each other and we both sense a meaning that can’t be articulated. Only conveyed. Something like: the way my fingers rest delicate on your side means I adore you. You are precious. I might break you but for now: this lightness.
I tell your cats how much I love you when you are not around
Why didn’t I kiss you when you showed me your neck?
What of chaos dreams from broken slumber beside you?
I dreamt I asked why and I explained how
I fear losing you to a desire I can’t quench
no matter how many ways I trap the oxygen out
no matter the frost I introduce
it burns dynamic
You are a moisture that burrows into my pores
I cannot separate you from my heart
I dreamt I ran around your apartment exasperated
looking for this notebook
rather than finding it blank it was full of your drawings
so full in fact that I feared there would be no page left for me to explain my love