i finally lost [some of] it
but 15 isn't enough
i want 115
i want to shrink away
i want to stop feeling
all of this pain
i don't want to keep doing this
and losing it is the easiest way
i've struggled with eating disorders for a while now. and i can feel myself going back to old, toxic habits. but, i don't want to stop it. because maybe if i plunge in headfirst, he will come back to me.
Do you ever feel so ugly in your own skin?
Where you pinch and grab at your physical reasons to hate yourself
All the taunts and cruel phrases relive in your jiggles
You fad diet yourself into comfort,
Only to be reminded of your deep scars as you catch a glimpse in the reflection
You strive for societal perfection as you let yourself slip into a cracked version of someone you were
The fear that happiness is gone for good
And this is all that's left
been fighting for years
To be tethered to a lover is a dangerous game.
A cord of boundless strength winds deep,
Between the flesh and blood of the heart.
When stress rises in you, so too in I.
When depression grows within one, it becomes two.
And yet happiness too, does bloom.
Though not today, nor anytime soon.
We live on the fringe of happiness, my skinny love.
We live on the promise of maybes or never.
I’d sever the cord, if you could be free.
Though we both know that could never be.
This story has been written.
Now we play the parts.
We suffer in the moment.
We live for tomorrow’s maybe.
Time will liberate us.
So it shall be, so it shall be.
if it hurts
you’re doing it right.
graceful arms, girls.
first position, long legs, extend your necks- yes, that’s right.
i just wanna look like a ballerina again.
i used to take ballet.
All hip bones and ribcage
Flat stomach wasn’t enough
It had to be concave
Mirrors and lights
Lined up just right
As hard as I can
Why can’t I
Just be thin?
Another poem from my sketchbook I didn’t initially post.
In my life there were a lot of people who talks about my weight.
Like "You are to skinny!"
"I can literally see your ribs!"
Even people in my family.
Negative not in a lovely way with support.
My friends did the same thing.
But I found a person that loves just the way I am, classic right?
This beautiful person is about to text me, because she is actually worried.
Well this came out really wrong and I don't know how to fix it ,so yeah
You're So Skinny,
you say to me, I Wish I Had a Waist
Like Yours, you say
like it's a compliment.
I never agreed to spice up your
own personal recipe
for low self-esteem If
you persist in this
body belief I
will no longer be your
body's relief Go
find another Skinny to
feed your grief
poetry ain't perfect if you are not there;
dress and suits are for models
but I don't want to see you unhappy,
so we'll pause
but don't worry, we'll quickly forward it
just give me his name
and I promise he will end up in my flame.
It's hard, I understand
But believe me
That you're beautiful
And you're so ******* beautiful
Even the mirror claps
Even the camera cheers
So be happy and always remember that I'm always here
Be happy and say '*******' to all those skinny *******.
this is dedicated to my friends and anyone who have been body shamed. sorry if this is really lame and boring but with all of my heart, i dedicate this to u guys. just know that your body doesn't symbolize u but your heart and what's inside does. love u.