What once was
  Never happened
  The way we thought that it did.
Become aware of how it has been,
And how it shall be again.

So when my mind
Concurs to you who
  Loves to lie beneath my skin.

My truth divides  
Two sides
Colliding  
  
Truth and denial
At war within.

As my eyes drift to sleep I remember

the hollows and the soft curves of your skin

fire in your eyes a burning ember

a glow that reflects radiance within



As my eyes drift to sleep I do recall

your soft words whispered in the dead of night

that saved me when perchance I looked to fall

and turned my eyes instead into your light



As my eyes drift to sleep I see your face

and yet I know you are not really there

instead untouchable another place

far in the realm of nothing and nowhere



Through this my heart and mind still yearns for you

a million words my love that I withdrew

Soon our love will be over
Soon our love will end
There'll be laughing and kissing and making love
And giggling and playing until the shove

And when it all has ended
I'll still remember you, remember you

We keep going like we're the same
Pretending that we haven't changed
But we've grown up, and we've grown apart
You'll always have a place in my heart

And when it all has ended
I'll still remember you, remember you

Childhood crush became a summer fling
That turned into a long term thing
But we aren't kids with innocent smiles
I see the world when I look in you eyes

And when it all has ended
I'll still remember you, remember you

There's blankness in my eyes and pain in yours
I can't remember anymore
You can't forget, and it's eating you whole
These two kids are now two damaged souls

someday,
somewhere,
someway;

you will find the girl
who loves herself enough
to love you even more.

sometimes
i wonder
if i'm dreaming, so
i pinch myself,
but
you're always
still there with me,
holding me afloat.
even then,
i can't help but fear:
what if
we're forced apart
and
i drown?

Separation does weird things to the body
causes a continental divide
between the mind and the heart
This divide-- it causes doubt
and it distorts three truths
for three lies.
It shifts a millimeter each moment
till one day, there's been an earthquake
and you no longer can tell fantasy from reality
due to the irrevocable damage.
You realize
the memories aren't really memories--
they are perceptions of events gone wrong
and this cataclysm of love allows it.
You see, the sweetness of words whispered
now have an underlining bitterness
now have a certain edge
that makes you wonder if they were ever true
And now you notice, far too early,
the warmth from their embrace
just... leaves, too quickly.
they just don't hold on like they used to.
its ever so subtle, but ever so notable,
and its enough to make you worry
about the things you see.
And finally, you both begin to see...
.... that separation
does weird things to the body.
It causes a continental divide
between the mind and the heart
and the realization that there's no healing
when you're miles and miles apart.

it would never have worked out anyway
we're both in a 'love'
and by love i mean a class tank
one that you put yourself in and can see out yet touching is prohibited
strictly prohibited
as in don't feed the animals
but one night we were fed
fed with each other because our tanks were occupied with only one
and one can get so lonely
was stepping out of the tank so terrible if it was saving us?
we hardly even touched and we both ended up happy
almost
somehow we're both sad
that nothing ever happened, that the kiss so often described
yearned for late in the night
stayed like sunbeams between our eyes
and when our eyes met it was like magic
like electricity
it was more than lightning, it was thunder
because thunder rumbles in the distance and never seems to come close enough
and to think in that one sweet word
the time you took my arm and called me honey
as if we strolled along the beach at dusk
it felt like that
those hours when you watch the sun rise and the world is soft and new
like waking up to snow
it was almost like being loved
almost
and the sad part comes next
the part where i get mad
not because you chose her but because you were afraid
afraid to say '**** the consequences' and afraid to be bold
you aren't afraid of me but of the world
i could have helped you but no
and i know you have thought about it
it wasn't a bird that flew in and out your cage
drunken me made sure to clarify
and now here we are at the end
the end that keeps going and going until you are simply a high school memory that i call drama or emotions
until then you won't leave me
you'll stay in the back of my consciousness
you'll be the one I'm attached to with an invisible rope
always waiting and seeing and hesitating to chase after
yet somehow we are always following each other
flashing lights on a map always equidistant apart
and our time will stay between us
always you will be my kryptonite
and always i will be your mysterious girl...
yours.

To know who your true love is
Is to know of something good

Time holds the secret close
Suppressing reflections of the past
All the mirrors have been removed
For to see yourself is to remember
The things you know to be true

You say look into your eyes if I’m leaving
I say look into my eyes to know I’m staying

But I stay with you from a distance
Suffering from the paleness of still blood
Trying to make it run listening to the news
The world is killing itself because living is too hard
It’s not hard for me even if it really is
It always turns out alright
But every minute feels like the end is near

Just knowing someone like you
It’s why I know waiting is worth all the rest

I’m not throwing my life away
Living for something meant for you is life
Because we met
And it can never be taken away
Somebody is thinking about you
Always

Do not fear the love that can live alone
It is the fantasy of life
And it is real my love

we promised we would be there in the future
together
we have to get through the present
separate