it would never have worked out anyway
we're both in a 'love'
and by love i mean a class tank
one that you put yourself in and can see out yet touching is prohibited
strictly prohibited
as in don't feed the animals
but one night we were fed
fed with each other because our tanks were occupied with only one
and one can get so lonely
was stepping out of the tank so terrible if it was saving us?
we hardly even touched and we both ended up happy
almost
somehow we're both sad
that nothing ever happened, that the kiss so often described
yearned for late in the night
stayed like sunbeams between our eyes
and when our eyes met it was like magic
like electricity
it was more than lightning, it was thunder
because thunder rumbles in the distance and never seems to come close enough
and to think in that one sweet word
the time you took my arm and called me honey
as if we strolled along the beach at dusk
it felt like that
those hours when you watch the sun rise and the world is soft and new
like waking up to snow
it was almost like being loved
almost
and the sad part comes next
the part where i get mad
not because you chose her but because you were afraid
afraid to say '**** the consequences' and afraid to be bold
you aren't afraid of me but of the world
i could have helped you but no
and i know you have thought about it
it wasn't a bird that flew in and out your cage
drunken me made sure to clarify
and now here we are at the end
the end that keeps going and going until you are simply a high school memory that i call drama or emotions
until then you won't leave me
you'll stay in the back of my consciousness
you'll be the one I'm attached to with an invisible rope
always waiting and seeing and hesitating to chase after
yet somehow we are always following each other
flashing lights on a map always equidistant apart
and our time will stay between us
always you will be my kryptonite
and always i will be your mysterious girl...
yours.